Chapter Nineteen – Cowboys Cry Too
Chapter Nineteen
Sadie
COWBOYS CRY TOO
Performed by Kelsea Ballerini with Noah Kahan
As we cleaned up the kitchen , Rafe’s face was lined with worry, and his voice was low and gritty as he revealed what Adam and Fallon had told him about what had been happening with Lauren. He looked exhausted, weighed down by heavy burdens that came from protecting the people he loved. Though he didn’t say it, I could tell he felt somehow responsible for all of it. Every failure. Every wound. Every danger. As if his not being at the ranch was the reason everything was crumbling.
I wanted to smooth his brow, ease the load, bring a smile to his face. I ached to touch him again, and not just because the air between us was still burning intensely with unsatisfied desire, but because I wanted to bring him a respite from his troubles. I wanted the bond we’d formed in Levi’s cabin to strengthen until I was the one person this strong, commanding man let permanently into his heart and soul. I could see the possibility of it shimmering around us, but it was overshadowed by all the ways our lives would never work. Not the least of it was that we lived thousands of miles apart.
I’d stumbled into far more than I’d expected when I’d gotten on the plane heading for Vegas. I’d found a man my heart wanted to claim as its own but also more mysteries than had already traveled with me from Tennessee. And the simple truth was, I had an entire life I needed to return to and my own worries to handle. I couldn’t see a route through the mire that led to something permanent between us.
It meant I would leave. That I would eventually get on a plane and go back to my real life and the future I’d started to envision that somehow seemed emptier than ever before. But it wouldn’t be until I’d seen this week through and helped him…helped all of them…as much as I could.
Silence followed us as we retreated to the second-floor landing. We stared at each other for way too long, all those possibilities and wants and needs and trepidations building and twisting and turning in the air between us. I was the one to turn away with a quiet goodnight. As I started for the stairs and my room on the next floor, his voice, soft and raw, stopped me.
“Thank you. For everything you’ve done in the last few days.” He rubbed his beard, a mannerism that would be a tell if he was playing poker with us. Unsure. Uncomfortable. “You have a natural goodness, a kindness, that practically shines out of you. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to that light—to you—just because you were trying to help us.”
He trailed off, that exhaustion settling over him again, and the ache in my chest grew. His words were beautiful and strangely sweet coming from a man who was mostly gruff and demanding, but I also recognized what he was doing. Instead of ordering me to leave as he had earlier, he was imploring me to do so. And maybe it would have worked if I wasn’t already so set on staying.
“I’m not leaving until Sunday, Rafe. They may look small, but my shoulders can handle a lot. It would be my honor if you’d let me carry some of your load this week. I won’t be able to live with myself if I walk away without at least trying.”
I didn’t wait for him to respond, to argue his way with a logic I’d know was right. This wasn’t about logic. This was about following your instincts, your heart, your conscience. These people needed someone, a third party not tied up in all the history and hurt, to help mediate. To fill in the cracks before the splintering glass tore the family apart for good.
I’d do my best to be that person, to help them find their footing amongst the waves that were trying to knock them over. It wasn’t my responsibility, but I wanted to do it as much for myself as for them, and I hadn’t wanted anything for myself in a long time.
? ? ?
Lauren was essentially out of commission the next day. I wasn’t sure if it was the sleeping pills or the terror of believing someone had tried to kill her that had left her huddled and small in her bed. But she’d given Rafe her phone with the long list of things that needed to be done, not only for the upcoming wedding but regular ranch chores.
Over breakfast, both Maisey and I insisted on helping. The only person who didn’t offer was Adam, and when Rafe asked him what his plans were for the day, he said, “Tera asked that I handle some business for her in town. I’ll be back this evening.”
Then, he left without even a hint of remorse. After the back door slammed, Rafe turned to Fallon and asked, “Who’s Tera?”
“His girlfriend. We haven’t even met her yet because she doesn’t live in Rivers full time. But he’s been seeing her for about a year.”
While I was frustrated on behalf of his family at Adam’s lack of involvement in the hard labor of the ranch, I was also annoyed he’d avoided talking to me about the jewelry yet again. I wasn’t sure what it meant. Was he trying to find a way to keep the jewels without telling the insurance company, who’d reimbursed them for the loss? Did I even care? I wanted to hand the jewelry over to this broken and battered family who needed something good to happen in their lives.
But first, I needed to tell my family the entire story so they’d understand why I’d handed over hundreds of thousands of dollars to people I didn’t know.
Except, I did know them.
I might have only been here for a handful of days, but I saw and recognized their struggles. Even the danger that had hovered around them last night was something my family had experienced. We’d battled both bankruptcy and evil cartels.
If Adam wasn’t going to help me figure out if an insurance company had any claim to the jewels, I’d tell Rafe, and we’d figure it out ourselves. I wanted to believe we’d built enough of a friendship that he’d realize, even if it turned out to be true that my great-grandmother had stolen from his family, it had nothing to do with me.
I had to wait for us to be alone though, because I wouldn’t mention the jewels in front of Fallon for the same reason Adam hadn’t wanted to tell Lauren. I couldn’t get her hopes up. The problem was, instead of dividing the long list of tasks up between the four of us and sending us in separate directions, Rafe insisted we all work together. He told the girls it was because four pairs of hands would get each task done faster, but the way his eyes lingered on all of us whenever we drifted too far away proved he was still worried after the incidents from last night.
After taking care of the morning feeding and cleaning of the horse stalls and paddocks, we headed into Rivers to the grocery store for the items Lauren wanted stocked in the old homestead and bunkhouse for the wedding party that would be arriving throughout the day and into Friday.
We were just heading for the registers when a large woman dressed in an outdated suit approached.
“As I live and breathe, is it really you, Rafe Marquess?” she asked, brushing a hand over salt-and-pepper hair pinned back from a face wrinkled from years of smiles.
“Mrs. Nattingly, aren’t you just a vision?”
She swatted at him with a flush to her cheeks. “You always were a charmer, and it’s Mayor Nattingly now, young man.” She took in Fallon and Maisey and then me before turning back to him. “Are you back to stay, then?”
His jaw worked overtime for a moment before he replied. “Just helping out at the moment.”
Fallon couldn’t hide her disappointment, and it was mirrored on the mayor’s face. “You’ve made a name for yourself, Rafe. We could use some of that spread around here. The ranch falling on hard times has bled into our community. It may have been wrong of us, but we’ve counted on the Harringtons for generations to help lift us up. Not just by employing our hardworking citizens, but for the support your family gave to our arts and local charities.”
As tension settled between everyone, it was Maisey who spoke. “Mr. Puzo has been helping out, Mayor Nattingly.”
A flash of disgust raced over Rafe’s face. The mayor patted Maisey on the arm. “You’re right, dear. Such a nice man.” But the look she gave Rafe said otherwise, as if she seriously doubted the veracity of those words. “I can see you’re busy, so I won’t hold you up, but maybe you can spare a few minutes of time to come see me before you leave town?” She gave Rafe another meaningful look and then headed out.
The conversation added another heavy burden to Rafe’s shoulders, and I wanted to defend him. To tell them to stop expecting one man to be everyone’s savior. A man no one seemed to have missed until everything went to hell. But instead, I bit my tongue and did the one thing I could—offer my hands to help with the physical tasks that needed doing.
After hauling the folding chairs, runners, and arches out to the wedding ceremony location, we stopped to wolf down sandwiches before we were going to head back out to finish more of the regular chores of the ranch. Fallon and Maisey had left to take lunch up to her mom, and Rafe and I were cleaning the kitchen when my phone rang.
A glance told me it was Gia. She’d been texting me for nearly twenty-four hours, and I’d been putting her off. Last night, she’d threatened to tell Ryder what we were doing if I didn’t bring her up to speed today.
I looked at Rafe and said, “I’m just going to—”
“Sadie, you don’t owe me an explanation or your time. Go. Take your call,” Rafe said.
I hit the call button and hurried out of the kitchen in search of a quiet place.
“Hey, Gia,” I greeted.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she said.
“I’ve just been busy,” I said as I made my way into the office and over to the windows.
“Meeting with people you shouldn’t be seeing by yourself!” she hissed, and my stomach fell. “I warned you about Puzo!”
“How did you find out?”
“I told you I know people who are watching the Puzos. You were flagged in a photo with him in the café at The Fortress. You promised me you wouldn’t meet up with him on your own. How could I ever look Ryder in the eye again if something happened to you, and I knew what you were up to?”
“I didn’t promise. I just agreed with you that it wasn’t necessarily a good idea.”
“And was it?”
No. But she’d only worry more if I told her that. Plus, how could I possibly explain the strange way Lorenzo was connected to Rafe and the ranch now? How was it that our three families, all with possible connections to the jewels eighty years ago, were now entangled in these current events? It was strange and improbable. It whispered of laughing wee folk making mischief. But I doubted Gia would believe that either.
So instead, I told her the simplest thing I could. “He said there was a Carolyn in his family who went off to work in Hollywood and disappeared.”
Gia inhaled. “So, we’ve found her. She was tied to them.”
“It would seem so.”
“The way she ended up in Willow Creek makes me think she was running from them.” It was the same discussion we’d had when we’d first uncovered who and what the Las Vegas Puzos were all about.
“The Harringtons’ manager confirmed that the family loaned jewels to a movie studio and that they were stolen. Do you think Great-grandma Carolyn took them in order to try to get away from her mobster family?”
It wouldn’t make it right, but at least I’d understand why.
“Maybe, but then why stuff them in a trunk? If she’d taken them for the cash, why didn’t she ever sell them?” She was quiet for a second as we both considered what might have happened. “Maybe she kept them in case she ever had to run, or took them and then was afraid to sell them in case it led people to her?”
Or maybe she’d felt guilty but didn’t know how to return them, and so she just shoved them in the trunk and hoped to forget all about it.
A deep voice on the other end of the line told me Ryder had found Gia. She covered the phone and said something that was lost in a silence I could imagine was Ryder kissing her. It was almost disgusting the way he couldn’t keep his hands off her—disgusting in the sweetest sort of way. How had I not realized how much I wanted what they had for myself? A partner. A lover. Someone who knew all your secrets, and saw all your scars, and loved you anyway.
Rafe hadn’t been turned off by my wounds. He’d been growly and protective over them instead. Those possibilities I’d seen shimmering around us last night reappeared, taunting me with hopes I couldn’t imagine coming true. I didn’t know how to take the glimmering mirage and turn it into the real love my siblings had with their spouses.
Instead of Gia coming back on the line, it was Ryder. “Sassypants, I’m sorry to end this call, but Gia and I have stuff to take care of.”
“My God, Ryder, I’m all for having a good sex life, but do you ever leave the poor woman alone? She’s already knocked up. Maybe you can let her have a chance to breathe.”
He laughed, low and soft, and I could imagine that big smile of his easing over his face. It relaxed me just a hair. Even though there were thirteen years between us, I was actually closer to Ryder than either Gemma or Maddox. I’d always felt like I could give him all my truths, and he’d accept them without judgment.
“I wasn’t talking about sex,” Ryder said, the grin evident in his voice. “Gia has a doctor’s appointment we need to get to. She seemed worried when I walked in. Everything okay out there with you? Nobody on the Harrington ranch is giving you a hard time, are they?”
“I’m fine.” I swallowed over the lump in my throat.
He hesitated, as if he knew I wasn’t being completely honest, but let it drop. “I’ve been thinking about this wedding business. A lot of folks around here hold theirs at the country club. Martin and Wendall have always been self-important pricks, who thought they were too good for Willow Creek after they built that damn golf course. I wouldn’t feel so bad about stealing business from them.”
I bristled. “I’m not talking about stealing business from anyone. This is about drawing clients to the area who wouldn’t have come otherwise.”
A clink of glass had me whirling around to find Adam had slipped into the office behind me and was fixing himself a drink at the alcohol cabinet. A chill traveled up my spine, not only at the stealth at which he’d entered the room but the look that was on his face. It was weirdly triumphant, as if I’d handed him a prize. I thought back over the call and couldn’t figure out what he’d heard that would have made him feel that way.
“I gotta go,” I said quickly.
“Fine. We can talk about it more when you get back,” Ryder said.
“Sounds good. Give everyone my love.”
“Will do.”
After I hung up, I placed my phone in my pocket and crossed my arms over my chest. Adam held up the rocks glass. “Want one?”
I shook my head. “No. We have a lot of work still to do.”
He raised a brow, a smirk on his face that felt off again. “Trying to pay penance for your ancestor’s sins, Sadie? You’d have to work a hundred years to pay back the jewels.”
“I’m not working anything off,” I tossed back. I wasn’t, was I? “I just don’t like seeing people drowning and not offering them a hand.”
His smirk disappeared into a glower. “Don’t preach to me. You know nothing about these people, how things work, or just how much skin and bone my family has given to this ranch. All the things that were stolen from us.” He let the word stolen drift between us for a beat and then added on, “I’m not offering up anything more than is required.”
“So you let the full load land on your sister’s shoulders when she clearly isn’t in a mental place to handle it.”
“She made her choice.” He said it darkly, staring into the alcohol in his glass. When he looked up, his expression brought goosebumps back to my skin. It was menacing. Ominous. “We were supposed to leave the ranch together. After our dad and grandfather were killed in a wreck while hauling Harrington cattle through the mountains, we promised each other we’d get out as soon as we could. We were going to finally break the cycle that tied our family to the Harringtons, that had left us crawling for leftovers for a century. Then she got pregnant. Fell in love .” He said it scathingly. “And I was left to break the cycle on my own.”
Holy hell. He'd lost his dad and his grandfather while they’d been working for Rafe’s family? Another shiver ran up my spine.
Rafe had said their family situation was complicated, and I’d thought he’d meant the love triangle between him and Spencer and Lauren, but this was so much more tangled and twisted.
My pulse raced as I watched him try to tuck away his anger and disgust behind the affable charm that had first greeted me. Did he hate the Harringtons enough to put a snake in Rafe’s bed? To smother the sister he felt had abandoned him?
Could he have murdered Spencer?
My palms turned sweaty, and I had to fight my way past a flight instinct that was telling me to get far away from Adam. Instead, I poked and prodded, hoping he’d reveal something, anything. “And yet you’re still here.”
“I left,” he said, and all the darkness seemed to wash away, leaving behind only a tired acceptance as he sank into the chair behind the desk. “I’d actually made a life for myself and enough money to stay away for good, but Lauren begged me to come back after Old Man Harrington died of a heart attack. Rafe had taken off, and Spence couldn’t manage the books on his own. She promised me it would be different this time. Promised me a merger that had been too long in the making.”
“But it wasn’t true, was it? They never intended to give you any of it.”
His head jerked up at my question, defiance and fire returning as he slammed his glass down, and for a moment, he looked like the snake last night. Ready to strike. A rattle waving in warning. “Spencer respected me, appreciated what I did, and even implemented most of my ideas. He’d planned on making me a partner, adding me to the trust, and removing Rafe, but he died before he could do it.”
Even if my instincts weren’t screaming at me, I wouldn’t have believed anything he said. I was suddenly very glad I hadn’t given him the jewels. That I hadn’t brought them with me.
“Everything okay in here?” Adam and I both jumped at Rafe’s voice coming from the doorway. His all-seeing eyes narrowed as he looked between me and Adam. We weren’t anywhere near each other. A desk and a carpet stood between us, but there was an insidiousness that hung in the air, and I knew Rafe sensed it.
“Fine,” I said, whirling around and heading for the door. “I was just seeing if Adam was going to join us in the stables.”
Both men scoffed at the exact same time.
I had to talk to Rafe. About all of it. My family’s part in it, as well as the bitterness Adam had shown. I’d spill my guts and hope it somehow helped rather than added more burdens to Rafe’s shoulders.