Chapter Twenty-four – Love Is A Cowboy
Chapter Twenty-four
Sadie
LOVE IS A COWBOY
Performed by Kelsea Ballerini
Something in Rafe’s expression changed. Seconds ago, he’d been ready to murder Adam when he found him. Ready to pay back the crime he believed Adam had committed against his brother, and I’d been terrified that he would. Now, all that anger, all the hatred seemed to have been tossed inward, as if somehow everything that had happened was entirely his fault.
When I tried to grab his hand, when I tried to pull him to me, he shook it off.
Lauren missed none of it. Her eyes were clear and unmedicated this morning but also tormented.
“Where is he?” Rafe demanded, but his tone didn’t have the wildness it had moments before. It was composed and all the scarier for it.
“He probably stayed with his girlfriend in town,” Lauren said, lifting her chin. “Whatever you think you’ve found, Rafe, he’ll be able to explain. Adam wouldn’t steal from us. And he would never kill Spencer! He knew how much I loved him.”
“He hated that you did,” Rafe said, and if those words hit me in the chest, I couldn’t imagine what they did to Lauren.
He turned on his heel, and Lauren and I hurried after him, shooting each other concerned glances. He flung open the front door of the house with the same ferocity he’d used on every other door since leaving his room.
He waved a hand at an empty slot next to the Jaguar. “He’s driving the Mercedes I saw parked here this week?”
“Yes,” Lauren responded.
“Expensive car,” he said, raising a brow.
“He made money at his old job, Rafe! Lots of it. He didn’t need ours.”
“He would if he was losing it to Puzo.”
“It’s just a friendly poker game. Guy friends throwing twenty dollars in a pot! It’s not like they’re gambling with real money,” Lauren insisted again. Then she repeated the same words she had before, as if she was trying to convince herself as much as Rafe. “Adam wouldn’t gamble anything significant! Not after all we’ve been through.”
“But he does.” We all spun around at the quiet, sure voice and watched as Fallon approached from the direction of the stables. Like Lauren, she was already dressed for the day, even though the sun hadn’t quite made it over the hills yet. “It isn’t just a friendly game with a twenty-dollar buy-in, Mom, and he plays every time Mr. Puzo is in town. Maisey heard from Jordan, who heard her parents arguing about how much her dad had lost, that the buy-in for each game is ten thousand dollars. Uncle Adam has been playing with him for…what? Two years at least? How much do you think he’s lost?”
Lauren paled, her knees started to give, and it was only Rafe’s quick reflexes that ensured she didn’t hit the ground.
“What are you saying, Fallon? What are you saying?” Lauren sobbed.
Fallon’s eyes filled, and she couldn’t look at her mom as she said, “I think he killed Spence.”
“No! No! No!” Lauren shook her head violently.
“They fought that night, Mom! I told you they did!” Fallon’s face turned red. She took her hat off and threw it as hard and as far as she could. It landed in the field on the other side of the road where white dandelion puffs waited to be blown into the river. “No one ever listens to me.”
“We’re listening now, Ducky. Talk to us.” Rafe’s voice was deep and raw and tormented.
Tears poured down Lauren’s face, and I stepped up to take her from Rafe so he could go to his daughter. He shot me a grateful look and did just that, tucking his daughter to him and saying, “Tell us what you think happened.”
“I heard them arguing. But by the time I’d gotten to a spot where I could hear them…” She looked at her dad, hesitating for a second before continuing, “I’d already missed some of the important bits. All I heard was Spence saying he was going to hire a forensic accountant and Adam laughing. He said Spence had been watching too much TV. That if there was anything wrong with the accounts, it was merely a small mistake, easily rectified.
“Spence asked him about the poker games with Mr. Puzo and how he was affording it. Uncle Adam said he was using his money from his finance days and that Spence was getting his underwear in a wad for no reason. He said he’d go through everything with Spence the next morning, including his personal accounts if Spence needed to see them. That calmed Spence down some, and he agreed they could go through everything in the morning.”
Fallon looked up at them, anger and hurt and defiance written all over her face. “So why would he be on a tractor before the sun was even up? Going up to the cliff above the river when he always told me to stay clear of it? Why? No way anyone will ever convince me he went there on his own. That he wanted to be there.” She shook her head. “No, he would have been in the office with his cowbell coffee cup in hand, waiting for Uncle Adam.”
Silence settled down, and the sounds of the ranch drifted around us. A cow’s low moo in the distance.The bang of a gate.Normally, they’d be soothing, but they only served to remind everyone of what was at stake and what had already been lost.
Lauren was shivering in my hold, and she was as pale as a ghost. Her lids were closed, and I thought for a moment she might just drift away completely. “I can’t believe…” She shook her head, a tortured look of despair crossing her face as tension spun back and forth between all of us.
It took her several long, ragged breaths before she opened her eyes again, gaze falling on her daughter, defiant and brave. She took another sharp inhale, shoved a hand into her stomach, pushed away from me, and stepped tentatively toward Rafe and Fallon. “I don’t want to believe Adam is involved in this.” When Fallon’s expression darkened, Lauren continued, “But if he was… God…” —she shook her head— “If he was involved in any of this, he’ll pay. I swear it on my life.”
Fallon’s face crumbled, and Lauren closed the distance, wrapping her arms around both Rafe and her daughter. My heart ended up in my throat at the vision they made. Three beautiful but tortured humans clinging to each other as if, somehow, they could weather this new storm simply by holding on to one another.
I knew exactly what those moments felt like. I’d seen the way my brother had clung to McKenna and Mila after they’d almost lost my niece to Chainsaw’s rage. I’d experienced it myself when my parents had hugged me after I’d come out of surgery. This handful of seconds altered the fabric of a family. A series of mere heartbeats that set a fork in the path, requiring you to choose which one to take.
A painful thought wrung through me, stealing my breath. What would have happened if I wasn’t here? What path would Rafe take? If I hadn’t tumbled into his life and bed, would he have found a way to be a family with them again? Would he have gone back to the woman he’d once cared enough about to conceive a child with?
But the thought of walking away, of letting go of what I’d found with Rafe when we’d been tangled together, of giving back the pieces of him he’d handed over like a precious gift, made me sick to my stomach. I wanted him to be mine forever.
Because I loved him.
I loved Rafe Marquess.
It was a ridiculous time to realize it. And worse, it didn’t matter if I’d realized it now, tomorrow, or three days from now, because forever wasn’t in the cards Rafe and I had been dealt.
On Sunday, I’d be leaving, and this alternate universe I’d stepped into would be left behind. By this time next week, I’d be back behind the bar, slinging pints along the lacquered surface to Willy and my brothers and the hundreds of other locals who made McFlannigan’s a regular part of their week.
We’d both known what exactly we had to offer when we’d started it. Nothing more than a moment’s respite. A moment of sweet memories and sinful pleasure. Rafe was needed here with his family. I was needed in Willow Creek with mine.
It felt like a lifetime had gone by in those few seconds that ticked by from when Lauren had wrapped Rafe and Fallon in her arms until she wiped her face on her sleeves and stepped back. My heart had been stolen, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to reclaim it, or if I’d just go through life with another permanent scar.
“Let me call Adam and see if he’s in town with Tera,” Lauren said. “Let me see if he can explain any of this.”
“I want to know where he is and when he’ll be back, but I don’t think you should tell him what we’ve found yet,” Rafe said, glancing toward me. “Sadie was right. We need to find every single penny that’s off so when we lay it out in front of him, he can’t say it’s a mistake. If we have enough evidence, maybe he’ll also tell us the truth about Spence.”
He’d tucked away all the rage and sadness he’d shown just moments ago, returning to the calm man who needed to be in control. I wondered what it cost him to do it. Had anyone ever told him it was okay to have all these intense emotions? Did he know it was okay to give them to the people who cared about you, so they could help you through the tough moments? I wanted to be that person for him, even if it was for just a few days.
Lauren swallowed hard, pushing her fingers into her eyes. “I really want to believe he had nothing to do with what happened to Spence…” she said, but her voice trailed away, uncertain.
An old beat-up truck crested the hill and headed toward the house, dirt trailing behind it.
And just like Rafe had pulled himself together and tucked away his emotions, at the sight of the truck, Lauren did the same. She turned back into the confident rancher I’d first met. The woman with a business that she ran efficiently and thoroughly.
“That’s Teddy,” Lauren said, rubbing her chest. “He and the other contractors are going to help set up the marquee and the dance floor, and then they’ll help out with the regular ranch chores so we have time to prepare for the wedding rehearsal and the dinner tonight.”
“While I’m going through every single line in the ranch’s financials, I’ll have Steele reach out to some of his contacts and see if we can find out more about these poker matches. Mayor Nattingly wanted to talk to me about Puzo yesterday, so I’ll place a call to her. I don’t want any of you going anywhere by yourself today.” Rafe glanced at each of us as if expecting an argument. “I want one of my men with you at all times. That includes you, Sadie. We don’t know exactly what Adam did or didn’t do, but believe me, he’s capable of violence if he’s pushed.” He glanced over at the corral as if remembering something in his past before shaking it off. “And if Puzo is part of this, we know exactly what kind of evil he can shell out.”
Lauren turned to Fallon, touching her elbow gently. “I’ve got breakfast started for everyone. Let’s finish it up and get on with our day.”
Fallon looked like she wanted to argue and storm, but instead, she scrambled over to retrieve her hat and then followed her mother into the house. After they’d disappeared inside, Rafe closed the distance and wrapped me in his arms.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For finding what I couldn’t see. For calming me down. For being someone we could count on.”
We stood there for a moment, chests joined, heartbeats crashing into one another as the adrenaline rush of the last few minutes faded away and all that remained was the solace we found wrapped together.
“Do you know what I hate?” he asked. I lifted my chin and met his gaze. “Besides what he might have done to my brother and the ranch…” He inhaled sharply. “I hate that he ruined our morning and that I didn’t get a chance to tell you just how much I liked seeing you in my clothes and having you in my bed last night. And I hate that I wasn’t able to wake up with you beside me and spend another few minutes lost in each other.”
My pulse leaped and danced, warmth pooling deep inside me. Even after the multitude of orgasms he’d given me, I still craved him with every fiber of my being. What would happen if I spent another few nights tangled with him? How much would I be willing to give up to keep him? To keep this? What was I willing to cost him?
I swallowed hard, panic rising that I couldn’t quite shake, and when I went to pull away, he held on tighter. I let myself revel in the embrace for a moment longer, let myself breathe in the man I’d fallen in love with in a heady jump from an unseen cliff. Then, I let out a shaky breath, bringing us back to earth, to our reality and the day that laid before us. “Do you need my help with the accounts, or should I work with Lauren and Fallon?”
He ran a finger along my brow, and my body all but quivered at the simple touch. “Now that you’ve pointed me in the right direction, I think I can manage the rest. But you’d be doing me a huge favor if you’d look after Fallon. I trust my men to protect all of you, but she might need someone to talk to.”
“I’m happy to be there for her in any way I can,” I said.
He stared at me for a long moment before asking, “Do you know what I’m wondering, Tennessee? I’m wondering if you ever stop giving long enough to let someone return the favor?”
His words hit a sore spot deep inside. I’d had to accept help after being shot, and maybe having it forced on me was the reason I was so determined to stand on my own now, why I hadn’t told my family more about the jewels or my plans for the performing arts center. But instead of saying any of that, I did what I thought we both needed. I lightened the mood, grinning up at him and saying, “I think I was on the receiving end of a lot of gifts last night. Two at least.”
“Five.”
I raised a brow playfully. “Was it five? I’m not sure I remember. Maybe I fell asleep. Or maybe you thought you anted up and didn’t pay out.”
He let out a savage growl before slanting his mouth over mine in a brutal kiss that turned tender in a heartbeat, just like the kiss he’d given me last night after he’d taken me up against the wall. It was beautiful and caring and full of emotions Rafe spent the majority of his life bottling up.
And then, his lips were gone, and he was grinning down at me wickedly with a look that promised sin and salvation just like he had on Sunday night. “You ready to back that little taunt with a wager, Tennessee? How long do you think you’ll last before you beg for relief?”
“Maybe you’ll be the one begging, Slick.”
He chuckled, and joy filled me at my ability to give him that moment of lightness in a morning that had been hard and heavy. He slid a hand under my T-shirt and flicked a finger over a pebbled tip. I shivered at the touch, loving the electricity that zapped through me. Loving everything about him and what he did to me.
“What shall we wager, Sadie?” Just the way he lowered his voice into a dark promise had me panting. He pinched and caressed and then stepped away, allowing the cold morning air to hit me like a splash of icy lake water. “I’ll just leave you to think about it, shall I?”
He waved a hand, indicating I should go in front of him into the house. I tried to slow the hammering of my heart as I forced my feet to move and then compelled my legs not to wobble as I passed him. But once we were inside, once we were alone outside the bedroom he’d insisted on walking me to, I pulled his borrowed shirt from my body, and tossed it at him.
“How about I leave you thinking about this.” I waved a hand over my naked body and then closed the door in his face.
? ? ?
The sexy taunts I’d left Rafe with disappeared in the shower as panic hit me all over again. I’d fallen in love with Rafe, and I didn’t know what to do with that fact. Didn’t know if there was anything I could do about it. The entire time I was getting ready, I tortured myself with what-ifs and buts and if onlys.
Then I broke down and called my sister.
“Sads?” she said, sleepy and slow. “What’s wrong?”
God. Everything? Nothing? “I think I’m in love with someone I just met.”
“What? Jesus. You scared me. Hold on a sec.” I heard a murmur on her end, her voice mixed with the deeper one of her husband’s. Rex was almost as possessive of my sister as my brothers were of their wives. I understood it now because I felt deeply possessive of Rafe. Not just him, but his daughter too. And even Lauren because she was important to them.
When Gemma came back on, she was a bit breathless. “Are you and Ryder trying to pull one over on me again? Or have you really fallen for someone?”
I spent the next few minutes telling her some of what had been happening, skipping over all the dangerous parts and the issue with the jewels as much as possible, and sticking to the truth of Rafe and the messed-up relationships around him. “I don’t know if it’s just the situation making me feel things that aren’t real or what. I mean, I’ve known him less than a week—”
“We both know time doesn’t always matter. I fell for Rex in mere hours. Look at how fast things went for Ryder and Gia. It happens, especially when you’re in the middle of an intense situation. It doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Honestly, seeing how people react and who they are in those stressful moments really shows what they’re made of. You can’t hide.”
“Rex walked away from you when the shit hit the fan,” I reminded her, not to be cruel but to point out that not everything works out.
She laughed softly. “I know. He hurt me—terribly. But it worked out in the end because we never stopped loving each other. When you know, you know. The question really isn’t about whether you love him or not but what you’re going to do about it.”
“That’s my point. What can I do about it, Gemma? I own a business in Willow Creek. I have a family there I love and want to be around. He has a daughter who lives in California and a multinational company to run. I don’t see how we can have a happy ending.”
“Let me ask you this…do you think I love my family less just because I’m not in Willow Creek anymore?” I heard the hint of hurt in her voice.
“No. Of course not! You were following your dreams and moved to LA before you met Rex. We knew you had things to accomplish, even if you never let any of us read your damn script.”
Gemma chuckled. “Wow, none of you will ever let me live that down.” When I didn’t say anything, her voice gentled. “What are your dreams? They used to be about darts and traveling the world. Then, you got shot, and you became this shadowy reflection of yourself.” When I tried to deny it, she rode right over me. “You pretended you were the same, but we all saw it, Sassy. None of us cared that Uncle Phil left you the bar, but Ryder isn’t the only one who worried you’d let it drag you into a life you’d never imagined for yourself.”
I swallowed hard. That was the thing about having a family who knew and loved you almost better than you knew yourself. They saw when you were pretending. I sighed and let out the truth I’d held back the other day. “Winning the dart tournament felt hollow. Empty.”
“I can understand that. Throwing darts is in your past. That’s an old-Sadie dream. What do you want now?”
Rafe . The thought was there before I could even process it.
And while it was the truth—I did want him—I’d also never be happy just being someone’s partner. I wanted to do something. Be something. I didn’t want to live my life forever as the helper and sidekick.
Gemma was making world-acclaimed movies. Ryder had saved the ranch and built it into a destination resort. Maddox saved lives every time he walked out the door wearing his sheriff’s badge. I wanted Sadie Hatley to have done something big as well.
McFlannigan’s had long been a staple in Willow Creek, and I cherished being given the responsibility of carrying that forward, but I also wanted to make my own mark on our community. A lasting one. It was why the performing arts center had become so important to me. It was something I could do for Great-grandma Carolyn, for myself, and our home.
But how could I factor Rafe and his daughter into that? What they were facing here and the work that needed to be done in order to save their ranch was going to take years. Would being at his side, being a part of that, being a part of their community, be enough to satisfy the needs inside me screaming to do something important for mine?
I wasn’t sure.
The night he’d shown up at the waterfall in the moonlight, I’d thought the Irish fae our McFlannigan side of my family believed in had led me here to him. What happened when you ignored the signs the wee people presented you? Would I ever find something like this, the intensity of what I felt with Rafe, ever again?
I thought of the way Rafe looked at me, the way he’d given me pieces of himself I was sure he’d never given anyone. Wasn’t that more important than anything else? That affection…that love…wasn’t it a legacy all its own? If we walked away from each other, we would leave wounds more brutal, more lasting, than the ones evil men had carved into us with knives and guns. The emotional cuts would have a ripple effect. On his family. On mine.
And maybe that was all that mattered.
Maybe with love at stake, the only answer was to go all in.