Chapter 3
Marcy
I lie there for a moment listening to my alarm, a wave of exhaustion washes over me. I extend my arm, moving it slowly toward the device. With a sense of resignation, I delicately press the button, silencing its incessant noise, bringing a moment of quiet reprieve. Glancing at the window, I see the sun streaming in. It’s time to get up, but the urge to lay here longer overwhelms me. I stayed up late last night looking through old memoriesof Matthew and me in a scrapbook. He’s been on my mind a lot lately. As our birthday approaches, I’m missing him even more.
After swinging my legs over the bed and stretching, I get up and head to the shower so I can get to work on time.The bathroom fills with steam as I step in. The hot water washes over me, further waking me up. I bathe quickly, dry off and dress for the day. Coming back to the bathroom, I free my hair from the towel and watch as it cascades in wet ringlets all around. A chuckle bubbles up from my chest seeing the sight in the mirror.
“Whoa, that”s going to take some effort!” Chuckling, I shake my head, reaching for the hairdryer. “Time to tame this wild mane,” I declare to the mirror. With a playful grin, I lavish my hair with everything but the kitchen sink, then bend over to run my fingers through the tangled adventure.
Once my hair finishes drying, I’m pleased with the result and move on to my makeup. Embracing the au natural aesthetic today, I keep it light letting my freckles shine through.
The familiar hum from the kitchen as the coffee pot comes alive is a testament to the reliable alarm I”ve set. Its awakening stirs a sense of comfort and routine in my morning. Giving myself a last once-over in the mirror, I make my way to the kitchen, drawn by the irresistible call of my much-anticipated caffeine fix.
Preparing a take-away mug of coffee, I gather my essentials - purse and phone, before stepping out of my apartment. The crisp fall air sends a shiver down my spine, a stark reminder that I should have brought a jacket. My lack of foresight in checking the morning weather forecast has left me in a chilly predicament. Contemplating a dash back home, I suddenly recall - there”s a cozy sweater stashed away in my car.
The drive to my office is uneventful, which makes my mind wander back to the upcoming party I will be attending. A smile crosses my face thinking of the celebration for Matthew. This party will be good for me, I think. I need to get out from under the dark cloud that persists over my head and step into the sun again.
Taylor Swift comes on the radio so I turn it up and sing along like I am in a concert the rest of the way to work. Once I pull into the parking garage, I’m pumped and ready for a day of kicking ass, after making sure my mask is in place.
Walking through the main lobby, I smile and acknowledge a few employees as I make my way to the bank of elevators. Sarah walks up beside me after I press the button to go up.
“Hey, girl. How are you this morning?” I ask looking over..
“Today has already been eventful and,” she checks her watch and looks back at me, “it’s only 9am,” she replies with a pinched expression.
As the doors open, we step through and press the number to our floor. Sarah, in a display of her having upped her corporate game, clinched a promotion and is now my partner-in-crime at the firm. Her office was moved to my floor at the top of the building, making it easy to slip into each other”s offices during the day. She recently returned to work from her honeymoon. She had a whirlwind romance with a local military man that works in security. They got caught in a snowstorm, and well, the rest is a frosty fairy tale.
“What happened this morning?” I question as we ride the elevator.
“Travis was up all night working on a surveillance camera for a client and forgot to make sure I was awake before he headed into the office. From there I ran over a nail on the way to work and pulled over with a huge gash in my tire. Obviously, not the best start to a day.” She palms her forehead and grimaces.
“Wow, sorry for all that. At least it’s Friday. Do you have any special plans this weekend?” I question as we exit the elevator.
“I’m not sure. Travis mentioned going out this weekend to dinner and a show. Although he hates going out, he does it for me. You know he’s content with being a homebody.” Sarah shrugs her shoulders as she walks toward her office.
“Oh, well, the Knight brothers have planned a little get together this weekend to celebrate my brother’s and my birthday if you and Travis would like to come,” I mention before she steps into her office.
“That sounds great, I’ll ask Trav, although I”m sure he won”t want to come. I can persuade him though.” She chuckles with a wink.
“Nice. I’ll text you the details,” I reply, leaving her office and heading toward mine. Once I round the corner, Nora is there waiting for me with a stack of paperwork. My heart sinks at the sight – I had hoped for a peaceful Friday, but who was I kidding? Fridays are typically hectic, rivaling the pace of Mondays. To be honest, all my days seem to be packed with activity lately.
“Hello, Miss Hillary, I have several updates for you and some contracts that need your review.” As she makes her way in, she settles down on the opposite side of my desk, carefully positioning the documents before her.
Nora is my right-hand woman. I hired her soon after I started this company and she has been with me ever since. I don’t know what I would do without her. She is a wearer of many hats and I’m thankful for her to be by my side.
“Thanks, Nora. You know I’ve asked you a million times to call me Marcy,” I declare, casually removing my sweater and placing it on the back of my chair. “How was your night out?”
“I know, I know. Marcy. There, I said it!” she giggles. “It was great, actually. Ally and I went to Club Vibe. Thanks for the tickets by the way. We danced and drank entirely way too much but it was a magical anniversary night. Somehow I drug my ass in here this morning,” Nora laughs, comfortably receding into her chair. I sink into my seat, booting up my computer and drawing the paperwork closer.
“Aw, I’m so happy for you. Do you think she will pop the question soon?” I ask. A few years back, I had the privilege of meeting Nora”s partner during the hush-hush phase of their relationship. Both Nora and Ally, trapped in abusive marriages, found solace in each other”s company. Their bond became their sanctuary, their beacon of hope. Eventually I encouraged her to file for divorce and secure a much-needed restraining order against her husband.
When the dust settled, Ally followed suit, and their love story became a cherished tale. It”s rare to witness a love as profound as that between Nora and Ally. It”s heartening to realize that genuine love persists in this world, fostering hope that I may discover mine someday.
“I’m not sure. I drop hints all the time like what kind of ring I would want and perfect places for destination weddings. I think she really wants to surprise me.” Nora shrugs but her cute cheeks flame red. I decide on a subject change to get the work day going or else we could sit here all day and talk about her perfect love life.
I smile at her quirkiness. “You know, I haven’t been out in forever but I’m glad you all had a good time. I had a quiet night at home but I still feel like I’m dragging this morning.” After taking a large gulp of coffee, I log into my computer and pull up the emails that I need to go through. Nora filters my emails so I only get the ones that truly need my attention. She’s always a life saver.
Nora stretches her hands over her head and rises from her seat. “I’m going to go make a cup of coffee. Do you need anything?” she asks.
“No, I brought coffee with me today. Thank you though.” I gesture to my mug. “Oh, I almost forgot. Miles and Sebastian Knight are putting together this little birthday thing for me this weekend and I would love it if you and Ally could be there. I need more people there that I’m comfortable with. I don’t want to get overwhelmed.”
“Absolutely. We don’t have plans and I know Ally would love that. Message me the info and I’ll send it on to her to make sure. Yay! I can’t wait! We are going to get you so drunk. Drunk Marcy is the best!” Nora lets out a giggle as she opens my door.
“I don’t know about all that but it should be fun. Sarah and Travis will be there as well if she can convince him.” Shrugging my shoulders I glance down to my computer and pull up an important email.
“Right. Well, I’ll leave you to work. Let me know if you want me to order lunch for you today or if you are going out.” Nora leaves my office as I pull out my phone to put on some music. It helps to keep me on task.
Lunchtime rolls around and I’m right in the middle of paperwork. It’s strewn all across my desk with no ending in sight. With a heavy sigh, I lean back and look at the mess in front of me. I need to get out of here to get my head back on straight. My eyes are starting to cross from all the documents sitting before me. I jump up from my chair, grabbing my sweater and purse and head out the door.
“I’m taking a lunch break. Hold my calls for an hour or so. Do you want anything?” I question.
“No ma’am, Ally packed me lunch this morning,” she answers holding up her goody bag.
“Alright then, I’ll be back soon.” Making my way to the elevators, the sound of my phone breaks the silence. I rummage through my purse swiftly and finally hold it in my hand. Sebastian is calling.
“Please don’t tell me you or Miles have gotten into more trouble.” I chuckle.
“Not this time. I was calling to tell you the details of the party this weekend. Stormy and Lizzie have everything settled. Be on the rooftop of Hotel Chantelle, Saturday at eight p.m.,” he says.
“Wow, they sure got to work, didn’t they?” I ask. Now that I hear the details, my nerves begin to flutter.
“Yeah, well, they wanted to make this special for you. I think the girls already went out shopping to get outfits and everything. You know how they go all out.” Sebastian laughs and I do as well. I can see them using this as an excuse to buy a bunch of new clothes. I wish they would have included me on their little shopping trip because I have no idea what I’m going to wear to this thing.
“We invited my cousin, Samuel, as well because he knew your brother. I told you that I would introduce you to him one day but it seems like you may already know him. Anyways, I’m getting another call. We will see you this weekend.” Sebastian hangs up before I can ask anymore questions about this mystery Samuel. The first thing that comes to mind is Matthew’s very best friend Samuel. The Samuel that I was in love with for most of my childhood and teenage life. It can’t be the same. Right? The name Samuel is common, I tell myself but I think my subconscious flutters at the thoughts of ‘what if’.
I walk to the deli around the corner and order the same sandwich I always do, as if on autopilot. With the name mentioned I can’t help but think about that handsome boy I once knew. I wonder what he is doing now. Is he still in the Army? I haven’t heard anything about him since I saw him at my brother’s funeral. He was only on leave long enough to put his friend in the ground then he was gone again. I felt like I lost both of them after that. Even though we weren’t close in age, they would take me with them to hang out all the time before they left for the military. I felt like part of the group and I was thankful that Matthew always wanted to include me in his plans and that Sam didn’t mind.
The waitress serves me as I slip into a seat next to a bank of windows. I always sit here so I can see the people walking by. My appetite seems to have dwindled since Sebastian uttered the name Samuel. I don’t know if it’s the same man I once knew but for some reason I hope it is. I peck at my sandwich then decide to pull out my phone and look Samuel up to see if he has any social media. As I type in Samuel Knight, I freeze realizing that I knew his last name all along and I didn’t put two and two together. What are the fucking odds? I never once, in all the years working for Miles and Sebastian, made the connection with Sam. How could I have missed this? When I type his name into Google, an image of him surfaces on my display. The years have added a layer of sternness that wasn”t present earlier, yet undeniably, this is the same boy who I thought I would marry one day. The thought sounds preposterous now.
My mouth becomes dry as I stare down at my phone. It”s the captivating hazel eyes reflecting from the screen, the ones I”ve often dreamt of, that cause a ripple of excitement within me. I can see his war riddled face but it somehow makes him even more stunning than he was before. My finger runs over the screen as if it was really him. In an instant all those feelings from long ago come screaming back to the surface. I thought I had moved past him but apparently I’m still just as smitten as I once was.
“Mom, I don’t have time to take Marcy to lessons today. I’ve got to get this essay finished for Psychology,” Matt replies into the phone. My heart drops because I look forward to this day every week. Sam is sitting in front of me at the table where we have been working on homework. Not that I can get much done with Sam this close. I keep sneaking glances when I know he isn’t looking.
“Yeah, she’ll just have to miss this week. Sorry, mom.” I feel like I could cry so I tuck my face into my folded arms resting on the table.
“Hey, man. I don’t mind taking her,” Sam mentions. My flushed face swoops up to look at him. He shoots me a wink and I think I instantly melt into a puddle on the floor.
Matt moves the phone from his ear. “Are you sure?” he asks. Sam nods as he flips his books closed. “Thanks. I owe you one.” Matt slaps him on the back then starts talking to mom again. I’m going to be in Sam’s car with just him. This is too much for my teenage heart to handle. I think it might burst at any moment.
“Mom, Sam just said he would take her.”
“Yeah, I’ll tell him.”
“Okay. We love you too.” Matt hangs up then looks over Sam again.
“Thanks for doing this. You know how much she loves going.”
“It’s not a problem. Besides, I’m already done with my essay.” His eyes lock on mine. “Are you ready?” Am I? Yes, I got dressed when I got home from school.
“Yep,” I muster. Jenny is going to have a cow when I tell her about this tomorrow.
Sam stands from the table and starts to walk off then stops and looks back at me.
“Are you coming, princess?” He quirks his brow at me and a nervous giggle bubbles out of me.
“Yeah, oh, yeah. I am. Totally.” I cringe at my stupid response. I swear he melts my brain cells when he’s this close to me. ‘I’m smart, I promise.’ is what I want to say.
“Heh, well let’s get a move on.” He gestures behind him toward the front door. I jump up nearly knocking my books to the ground. Matt looks up shaking his head at me and chuckles.
“Maybe you need to wear that helmet all the time. You’re clumsy, sunshine.” He loves driving me crazy but I love him. He’s not just my brother, he’s my best friend. I stick my tongue out at him and follow behind Sam. Sometimes I feel like Matty knows I have a crush on his best friend but how could he? I definitely haven’t told him and I keep cool, for the most part.
We drive out of the city heading toward the stables where I have horseback riding lessons. I’ve been doing this for years but continue because I love riding out into nature exploring different trails. Since I began jumping lessons, I’ve been even more eager to attend. I love to feel the rising excitement right before we jump an obstacle.
Sam turns the music down pulling my attention back inside the car. “So, how are your lessons going? I haven’t been out here to watch in a while.”
“Oh, um, I began jumping higher obstacles with Rocky.” I pick at a piece of invisible lint on my pants trying not to act too eager that he seems interested.
“That’s really cool. You’ve come a long way since you began. I remember those alligator tears from your first lesson.” He chuckles as he turns down the dirt road I travel every week.
“Ha, Ha. Very funny. That horse was huge in my defense and I had never done it before. I was scared I would fall to my death or something.” I pull my black velvet helmet up to my lap.
“Seriously though, I’m impressed you kept up with it this long. I figured you would bail like the piano, guitar and singing lessons.” My eyes shoot over in his direction allowing me to see the smirk on his face.
“Okay, one, I can’t believe you remember all those. Two, I’m pretty sure old Mrs. Fenderson purposely gave me the sheet music meant for advanced students. Three, no amount of lessons can make my singing better. Come to find out, there isn’t a musical bone in my body. That’s why my concerts are alone in the shower.” As the words slip from my lips, I instantly want to reel them back in. Facepalm. How embarrassing to spill that tidbit.
Sam’s laughter roars through the car as he cuts the engine looking over at me.
“Is that what that screeching is that I hear sometimes? I thought there was a dying cat outside. I even went looking for it once.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me as I roll my eyes but I can’t help laughing along with him. I really do suck at singing.
“I’ve got to get to my lessons, smarty pants.” I begin opening my door but Sam puts his hand on my arm to stop me.
“Be careful out there today.” The sincerity in his eyes makes my belly do a flip. I can’t help but notice the spark of electricity where he grabbed my arm.
“I will be. Plus I have this.” I knocked hard on the black velvet helmet in my lap. He nods, though still looking unconvinced. “Come out and watch and I’ll prove to you that I know what I’m doing.”
“Did you think I was going to sit in here the whole time and let you out of my sight?” His words give me chills but then he ruffles my hair like Matty does and the moment is lost.
“Besides, your mom would kill me if I let anything happen to you, princess.” The butterflies in my stomach have now been devoured by dinosaurs. A sigh escapes my lips and I nod turning to get out of the car. Will he ever see me the way I see him? Maybe…I don’t know…maybe I should start looking at boys my own age. The thought feels like a punch to the gut but I smile up to him before I sprint off to pull Rocky from his stall.
“At least I have you, right boy?” I scratch his chestnut muzzle as he nods his head to me as if he understands my problems. Throwing on his halter, I lead him from the stall as the moments from the car wash away into the here and now. I can’t think about the love of my life when all I’ll ever be is ‘Matt’s baby sister’.
Sebastian said Sam is going to be at the party so I need to be ready. Pushing my plate aside, I decide to take a break from work for the rest of the day and indulge in some retail therapy. I need to look jaw droppingly gorgeous tomorrow and I can’t do that with anything I already own. I’m all grown up now. This once ugly duckling transformed into a swan and it is time that he sees me, really sees me.