Chapter 23
Marcy
After a few weeks, I’m starting to feel like myself again. The pain from my ribs has begun to fade. Sam took time off from work and has been by my side through it all, just like he promised in the hospital. His unwavering support and promise to be there during this challenging time demonstrates his compassion and loyalty. Whether it’s through comforting words, acts of kindness, or simply being present, Sam has undoubtedly made a positive impact on my healing journey. When I was released he insisted, or rather declared, that I would be living with him and not just as I healed. He made sure I knew this was permanent. That we were permanent. I tried to give him a hard time but I knew in my heart that being with him was where I was meant to be. I was surprised when we got home and all my things were already there and put away. I just rolled my eyes, knowing damn well he probably did all this while I was still sedated.
While I was in the hospital Sam and I talked about the disastrous argument from his office the day of the accident. I can still see the fear in his eyes when he thought I wouldn’t forgive him.
“Sunshine, please forgive me. I was wrong and scared.” He squeezes my hand, rubbing his thumbs in soothing circles.
“At first I convinced myself that I was looking after you for him. That I was doing what a big brother would do and the more it went on the less it became about watching for him, because you fucking consumed me, Marcy. You became my focus, to get out of bed and pretend to be a human inside a hollowed shell. I thought if I waited and watched long enough that some part of me that”s long been broken and missing would finally fix itself and I would be worthy of you because that”s all I have ever wanted. Heaven and hell be damned.” Tears pour from my eyes as his words echo through my mind.
“I only helped with your business because I wanted to see you flourish without pressure. I knew you would succeed on your own, but you’ve had to work so hard your entire life that I wanted to do something to ease the weight on your shoulders. Never did I have the intent that you couldn”t do it on your own. Believe me, sunshine. I know your drive. I only wanted to build you up even if you didn’t know it was me helping.” Before I could respond, he continued.
“Punishing ferocity. That is the only way I know how to love. My heart, scarred and battle-worn, has learned to fight for what it wants. And it wants you—the girl with the haunted eyes, the one who carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. I am completely and utterly in love with you. You are my obsession. My drug. My fire. I need you more than the air in my lungs.” Sam gets up to cup my face.
“Please forgive me. I’m begging you, sunshine,” he whispers softly against my lips. He presses a gentle kiss to my temple then gets on his knees beside the hospital bed. My hand is still grasped tightly in his hand.
“I know you love Japanese pottery with the gold glue that mends the broken pieces.” I nod not sure where this is going.
“I will repair your heart and trust in me by restoring your broken pieces, one by one. I’ll be the gold glue that fills the gaps in your heart making you stronger, unique, resilient. Please give me the chance to show you how devoted I am to you. Your broken heart will be more beautiful than ever, shining with the gold of my love.”
I take a deep breath, remembering the conversation with Matty. I know what I have to do even if it scares me. I’m scared to be hurt again but even more scared of losing Samuel from my life. I have to take a leap of faith and trust that he will be there to catch me.
“Okay,” I murmur above the beeping of machines surrounding us. Sam jumps to his feet, relief written on his face.
“I will take care of you for the rest of your life. I promise. I’ll always be here for you.” Sam brushes some hair from my face, peppering kisses along my forehead then down my cheeks. Finally his lips press against my lips, electricity jolts through my body causing chills to cover my skin.
“You know I love you too, right?” I whisper as his lips brush softly against mine before trailing along my jaw. Then he whispers in the shell of my ear, his warm breath sending chills over my entire body.
“Those are the most beautiful words I have ever heard.” He crashes his lips down on mine tenderly, not to disturb the bandages on my head. His lips whisper promises to me–silent vows.
“Say it again, princess,” he pleads.
“I’m in love with you, Samuel Knight. I have been since I was young and didn’t even know what love was, but I knew. You have always been the only one for me. That’s why I waited for you. I hoped you would come, like you promised.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long, but I’m here now. I’m here, sunshine. You’re mine.”
“Yours,” I agree.
I never told him about the dream or experience I had with Matty. It”s a precious memory that I will cherish the rest of my life. It was a beautiful gift I was given. It finally made me feel like it was okay for me to experience happiness without him.
My therapist tells me to keep a journal, it’s like giving my mind a safe outlet to express what’s going on inside. It helps keep the anxiety at bay.
“Hey princess, where do you think you”re going?” Sam comes up behind me, embracing me in his strong arms. I sink into his warmth, loving the safety only he can give me.
“I was going to get some fresh air on the balcony, why?” He leans down, nipping and kissing my neck.
“Because I had something to tell you,” he whispers. I turn in his arms to look up at his glistening hazel eyes staring down at me.
“And what would that be?” I ask.
“The Matthew Hillary Foundation is a go! We got all the backers we needed. Miles and Sebastian spread the word and it all came together. This is really happening. We are going to help so many soldiers, sunshine!” Without hesitation, I jump into his arms knowing he will always catch me. He spins me around the room as we laugh together. This foundation has been our sole focus since I was released from the hospital. Big Apple PR will be representing it and I can’t wait to launch it to the public.
“I’m so proud of you, Sam. You are a true hero. Don’t ever forget that.”