The Lateral

Chapter 9

I t was such a mess. How would I fix this?

I looked around the parking lot of B-Dzld and tried to come up with something, but I still wasn’t thinking very clearly. I had shown up hours early to talk to Travis about my job, but my boss here had taken one glance in my direction and had shaken his head.

“Nope,” he’d stated flatly. “You’re fired. Maybe I could reconsider in a few weeks, but I’m not paying you for that.” He’d pointed at me and his lip had curled with derision. “You look like shit and you can barely walk.”

“I can dance, and it’s not that bad,” I’d countered. “When I’m on the stage, it won’t even show very—”

“Why are you girls always with men who beat the shit out of you?” He shook his head again. “He’s never going to change, he’s never going to care enough to stop.” Then he’d sighed and had seemed to soften a little. “You know how many times I’ve said that? You know how many people have listened?” He answered himself. “None.”

“No, Travis, you don’t understand,” I’d started to explain, but he didn’t want to hear that it had been my niece and not my boyfriend who was at fault for how I looked.

“Get out,” he’d told me, pointing toward his office door, and now I was back in my car and I wasn’t sure what to do next.

I hadn’t called the police when I’d made it inside my house after the encounter with Christal, but I should have. I knew that I should have, but Meadow had been hysterical, nearly throwing up because she was crying so hard.

“She’ll—go—to—prison,” she’d gasped. “Please—please—Ember!”

I was in pain and had been scared, and neither of those things had helped me to make a good decision. I had put a bag of ice on my head where I’d slammed it against the hard, frozen dirt of our driveway, and another bag of ice on my face because the whole side was swelling and it quickly turned black and blue. I’d sat on the couch that night, propped up with pillows because it was hard to breathe when I lay down. I’d wanted to stay awake, anyway, because I hadn’t known if Christal would return.

And now what? I couldn’t stay in the parking lot of this club and since I didn’t know where else to go, I went home.But I didn’t want to be there. With every rustling leaf across the white snow, every creak in the trees, every bird calling into the silence, I thought that she was back again. Maybe she had brought some friends this time.

“I—shouldn’t—have—told—her—where—we—live,” Meadow had sobbed when she’d seen me the night before. “I’m—sorry—Ember!” But it was too late, now. We would have to move and that was a very big deal. First, I’d lose a ton of money when I gave up my security deposit for this house. I’d have to rent a truck to carry away the furniture I’d bought to make it a home for us. I’d have to tell the social workers, because they’d need to check our new situation and make sure it was ok for Meadow, and I’d have to turn off and on utilities. I’d have to sign a lease on a new place (that I’d also have to find) and I’d definitely have to come up with more money.

Without a job, it was going to be hard to do. I didn’t even know if I could work, honestly, because I was feeling pretty bad and not just because of the bruises and aches. I felt all-over exhausted and lousy. I figured most of it was mental, since the confrontation with Christal had been physically hard but had also brought up a lot of stuff from the past. She was stuck there but I wasn’t. I had moved beyond the problems of our family, and I was going to keep going into the future and bring Meadow with me!

But currently, I wasn’t going anywhere. I was sitting in front of the rented house instead of exiting the car and heading inside because if Christal came back, I wasn’t prepared to fight her and I wanted to be able to make an escape. I waited, thinking of what I was going to do and running the heat now and then, until it was close to the time that Meadow got out of school. I was picking her up since the plan was to go to Jake’s house, so I drove and parked on the street there instead.

She saw my car and walked slowly over, her eyes on the ground. “Hi,” she said as she got in.

“Hi! How did the math quiz go?”

She turned away from me to grab her seat belt and then she didn’t turn back.

“Meadow?”

“Your face,” she whispered, and she was crying.

“No, it’s ok. I’m fine,” I said. “Put that on and we’ll get going.” I shifted the car into drive when I heard her seat belt click, and we went for a few miles towards Jake’s before she spoke again.

“Did you hear from my mom?”

“No, did you?” I asked urgently.

But Meadow shook her head. “The last thing was when she screamed at you outside the door.” Christal had shrieked that she would be back to get me. “Did you tell the social worker?”

“No,” I answered, but I had to add, “Not yet. I’m not sure what I’m going to do.”

“What if I promise not to text her anymore?” she asked me.

“You weren’t supposed to be doing that, anyway.” Until Christal got farther along with the reunification plan (for which she’d done nothing), all their contact had to be monitored. Somehow, they’d been sneaking it past me.

She looked out the window. “I was hoping…”

She had hoped her mom would change. I remembered what the attorney had said to me after I’d had the meeting at the middle school with him and Mrs. Dragonfart, the principal. He’d warned me against hope, saying that it could make us sit quietly instead of fighting, and he’d also said it could blind us to the truth. Meadow had a willful, hopeful blindness about her mom, and I understood it. It was hard not to feel that way when you loved someone.

“I get that you want her to be different. I wish that she was,” I said.

“I didn’t know she’d act like that,” Meadow swore, but then she paused. “I knew she never liked you, though.”

“We haven’t gotten along for years. It has nothing to do with you, and it’s not your fault.”

“She told me that you were mean to her, always acting like you were better. She said you tried to wreck stuff for her, that you were the reason that she and I were split up.” She hesitated and hiccupped. “But I know the real reason. It’s because I was in our cottage by myself and I got scared. That was why I went to get the neighbor.”

I remembered the story of how the police had become involved with them for that final time, and why Meadow had been removed from her mother’s care. “I thought that your neighbor came by to check on you because he was concerned.” That was when he’d seen that she was a child alone and he had also spotted drug paraphernalia.

“Yeah, but he was concerned because I left a note on their door saying that I was hungry and asking if maybe could I come have dinner at their house,” she explained.

“Oh, Meadow.” I reached over and touched her hand and she didn’t immediately yank it away. “I’m so sorry.”

“I knew when I did it that my mom would get in trouble, but I was mad at her.” She shrugged one shoulder. “I wanted her to get in trouble but I still love her.”

“It sucks so much when the people we love let us down.”

“Did that ever happen to you?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said. “Plenty of times.” I thought about my own mom. We hadn’t spoken in months but I knew she wasn’t waiting for my call.

“It’s like when you went on the date with the guy from downstate and he headbutted you,” she mentioned. “You didn’t love him yet, but maybe you would have. Maybe someday. But you weren’t mad that he did it.”

“I was mad, but I…I don’t know, I just try to move on from stuff like that.” What else were you supposed to do?

“Jake said you should have called the police,” she answered. “He said any person who does that could do worse stuff, too. He said that guy should be in jail, and if anyone ever even thought about laying a hand on you or me, to tell him and he’d take care of it. I bet he would, too.”

“Why was he saying that?” I asked, shocked.

“We were cleaning out the stalls and he said that Chip had kicked him in the face once. It gave him a black eye even though Chip’s such a little horse, and they had to do a lot of training together so little kids would be safe with him. And I said, ‘Remember when Ember had two black eyes?’ and we talked about it.” She looked over at me. “Now you have one again.”

I nodded. Even for me, it was a lot of injuries coming in close succession.

“Jake named him Chip.”

“What?” I asked. I didn’t understand.

“He told me the truth,” Meadow said. “He won’t admit it to people because they might make fun of him, so he says that Chip came with that name from the adoption place. But really, Jake decided to call him Chip, like the little boy in the movie who got turned into a teacup. Have you seen that?” She kept talking when I nodded and said that I’d seen it a few times. “Jake gave him the name because Chip is so small and cute. I said I love that movie and he said he does, too.”

“Jake does?” Now I sounded even more shocked. “He loves a princess musical?”

“It’s really good,” she defended him, and I had to agree. “He got a little saddle for Chip.”

“I thought no one could ride him because he’s too small.”

“A kid could. His friends’ kids or Jake’s kids, that’s what he said.” She started humming a familiar refrain, and we ended up singing together for the rest of the ride even though the vibration of my voice made my head ache more.

As we turned into the long driveway, she got quiet again. “I’m really sorry,” she said as I pulled around toward the big garage. “Do you think he’s gong to be mad?”

“Jake? Why would he be mad?”

“Because…” She looked over at me and touched her own face, wincing.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said. “You didn’t know that your mom would get so upset. You just wanted to see her, because you love her. I understand that and he will, too.” He would because I would explain it so that it was clear. But I secretly agreed that he would be mad, because he’d had trouble understanding how I’d dealt with the issue of my headbutting date. Until you faced crap like that, it was hard to know how you had to handle it. His method would have been more direct, more confrontational, and probably more violent, but my way also worked.

I just hadn’t expected how upset he would be. “What the hell!” Jake bellowed when he saw me. I’d asked Meadow to have him come in from the barn to the house, where we could talk. I was glad, now, for the sound-muffling properties of the walls and for our distance from her location. “You look like…” He shook his head, and I thought maybe there wasn’t a word for how bad it was. Travis at B-Dzld had felt the same way about my face and neither of them had even seen the damage to my body. “What the fuck happened to you?” he demanded.

“I had a problem with Christal,” I said, and carefully sat in a kitchen chair. I was stiff from being in the car for so long, but once I was down, I realized that the seated position felt worse. I carefully stood up again.

“What the fuck do you mean, a problem with Christal?” His volume hadn’t changed and he was still glaring at me. “She beat you up?I’ll find that woman and—”

“Stop yelling and stop swearing,” I told him. “Stop it!”

He did. He stood for a moment and then I watched him exhale. He took off his boots and washed his hands, and then he walked to the kitchen table and sat next to where I stood, all very quietly. “I’m not yelling,” he stated. “Now you can tell me what the fu—what happened.”

“When we came home from the party, Christal was there. She was waiting in front and I don’t know what she was on, but she was really agitated. Meadow went inside so she didn’t see too much,” I said, which I thought would make him feel better.

It really didn’t seem to. It seemed more like he was just barely keeping himself under control. “See what?” he growled. “What was there to see?”

“She got even more agitated about some stuff that happened in the past and about me keeping her daughter away from her, and she charged at me. I didn’t want to fight,” I stressed. “I was trying to get into the car to get away, but I slipped on the ice.” I pointed at my face. “I hit my head and that’s why I have the black eye and the swelling.”

“Anything else?”

“Well, while I was down, she kicked me in the ribs but when she tried it again, I pulled her into the snow. I sat on her until she was calmer.” It had taken a while and she’d been bucking a lot and trying to spit and bite me, but I didn’t need to be so detailed.

“That’s why you’re moving so stiff?” he asked, looking me up and down. “How hard did she kick you?”

“It wasn’t so—”

Jake waved his hand, signaling for me to stop. I did.

“How far did she draw back her leg?” he asked slowly and distinctly.

I took a shallow breath. “Pretty far. She meant it to hurt.”

“And it did,” he said.

I nodded.

“Come on,” he told me. “Let’s go.”

“What? Go where?” I asked, but he was already out the back door and striding quickly toward the barn. “Jake, you’re not wearing shoes!” I hadn’t been able to call that very loudly, though. I just felt so darn weak due to the emotionality of all this stuff. That was normal, and no doubt I’d feel better tomorrow.

He and Meadow came back pretty quickly, and he slid on his giant gym shoes. “We’ll take my truck,” he told her, and she nodded.

“Why am I the only person who doesn’t know what’s happening?” I asked them.

“We’re going to Woodsmen Stadium,” she explained. “A trainer named Taras is gonna look at you and make sure you’re ok. That way we’ll know for sure.”

“No, I’m…” I paused. “Are you worried that there’s something really wrong? Would it make you feel better if I see this Tumnus trainer?” I asked, and she nodded. “And it’s not going to be a problem?” I asked Jake. By that I meant, “Will it be free or low-cost?” He didn’t get it until I asked directly.

The answer was yes, it was free. But anyway…

“We’re going no matter what,” he stated. I would have sighed but it hurt my ribs too much. It was definitely not working for me to climb up into his truck, but when he started to lift me, I made a little noise by mistake. “Does that hurt? Did I hurt you?” he asked immediately, and I said no, it was ok, but he dropped his hands and backed away.

We ended up in my low car but Jake drove. The seat didn’t adjust back or down enough for him, so his head brushed the ceiling and I wasn’t sure how he was able to turn the wheel with how much it rubbed against his thighs. He had insisted on it—actually, he wasn’t saying much at all, but when I’d walked to the driver’s door, he’d shaken his head and gotten in there himself. He still looked furious, and I figured that it wouldn’t do me much good to try to argue him over to the passenger side.

Besides, I was too tired to argue about that or about getting myself checked out. It was a bad idea to turn down favors, after all, and I was glad not to drive, even though I was sorry about how uncomfortable he looked. “Meadow, do you have any homework?” I asked, and when she said no, I was also too tired to quiz her to make sure. I closed my eyes and dozed a little on the way to the stadium.

That place was still pretty hopping although the season had sadly ended and although it was getting very dark as the sun set on another day. It was just as big as I remembered and it seemed to take forever to walk to the training rooms, which hadn’t been a part of our previous tour. They looked more like a real medical office with the equipment they had back there, and the guy who was going to check me over was nice. Meadow and Jake waited in another room as we talked. He asked me questions about my head, and then examined my ribs.

“They’re not broken,” I said.

“How do you know?”

“I didn’t hear a crack and they don’t feel quite as bad as when they’re fractured. I’ve had that happen before,” I explained. I looked around the room again, impressed. “Did you have to get a special degree in college to have this job?”

He wanted to talk more about my injuries, but he did answer my questions, too. He told me about the schooling he’d done and when I asked about his hours, he said that no, he didn’t come in much during the offseason. “Jake called me,” he explained. He also recommended that if I ever hit my head like that again, I should go straight to the hospital. “I also think you should get your cough checked.”

I had been holding that in because coughing hurt my ribs, and he had noticed. “Ok, thank you,” I said. “I really appreciate that you’re helping me.” He did tests with some of their big machines and then gave me his diagnoses.

Meadow was upset to hear that I had a concussion but Jake didn’t seem very surprised. He was still frowning and angry, but I got the impression that the two of them had been colluding while I’d been speaking to the trainer, because they immediately jumped in with a plan.

“We’re going to our house to get our stuff,” she announced as we slowly walked through the maze of hallways.

“Some of it,” he specified, and she nodded.

“Not all of it, but some of it. We’re going to stay at Jake’s tonight.” She folded her arms, nodding, and he nodded along.

I was tired, yeah, but I also wasn’t going to blindly follow…or in this case, I wasn’t going to be blindly driven to a new location. I started to put forth arguments, like how the bus came to get Meadow at our house, and how we needed to be in the same place for stability’s sake. But then I decided that arguing was a bad idea. Staying at Jake’s, which Christal didn’t know about—

“Does your mom know where he lives? Did you tell her about him?” I asked Meadow, and she swore that she hadn’t. It didn’t seem like it mattered very much what I thought, anyway. Jake took my arm, holding under my elbow, and Meadow led the way back to my car.

I would allow myself this one night off, I decided. Tomorrow, I was making another appearance at B-Dzld and I would convince Travis that he had to give me back my job. “I’m so glad you came,” he might say. “Yes, I’ll rehire you and give you a raise.” I would figure out where we would move, and I would reconsider telling the social workers and the police about Christal. But for now…

“Ember.”

I turned, trying to get more comfortable. I’d definitely slept in worse places before and I could make this work. It would be fine, if everyone would stay quiet.

“Ember, we’re home.”

I rubbed my eyes, brushing away the sleep. “Ok.” Then I remembered where I was, and I remembered Christal. I twisted to look for Meadow in the back of the car as I said both their names, and the movement hurt. I had to freeze for a moment and breathe through it.

“We stopped at your place and Meadow packed a bag for you. She’s inside and you need to go in, too,” Jake said.

“Ok,” I repeated, and this time I came to my senses. We were at Jake’s, that was what he meant about being home, Meadow and I would stay here for the night. He had to help me out of the car and I saw how gentle he tried to be. I didn’t make any noise at all even though, holy cow, I felt very stiff and pretty sore right now. “I’ll just take some pain stuff,” I mentioned.

“Taras said they’re not fractured.” His arm was around me and he’d put his hand over my ribs, very carefully holding there as we slowly walked toward the house.

Oh, right, the trainer. I’d thought his name was Thomas? “No, nothing showed up on the scans. I told him that I didn’t hear anything break.” I yawned, keeping it shallow.

“He said you’re badly bruised, very badly. It doesn’t matter whether they’re broken or not, it must hurt like hell.”

“Don’t say that in front of Meadow,” I told him. “She’s so upset about this already.”

“And you’re not?”

We went into the kitchen, then, so I didn’t answer. The two of them made dinner and I tried to eat to make her happy, since I knew she was checking my plate and monitoring my consumption. I was just so tired, and despite how I had told myself that I would take tonight off and worry about my problems tomorrow, I kept thinking about everything. I was still thinking about it when I sat in the bed in one of Jake’s guest rooms, of which he had a few. This old house had been built for a big family.

He looked through my open door, and I waved. “You all right?” he asked me.

“I’m good. I want to keep the door open in case Meadow needs me during the night.” The first time she’d slept in our little rental, she’d had nightmares. “Come in,” I invited. It was his house, after all.

He entered and stood next to the bed. “It’s funny to have you here. I don’t get a lot of guests.”

“What about your parents? Brothers and sisters?” I asked, but he shook his head.

“No, they think it’s too cold in Michigan. I haven’t mentioned that it warms up in the summer.”

“I’m looking forward to that season,” I said, and shivered. It hurt.

“Hold on.” He opened the closet and took out another blanket, which he draped over my knees. Then he studied me again. “Are you going to sleep soon? You look like you need it.” He sat next to me and the bed dipped a lot, but it held.

“I’m going to sleep like this, propped up. It feels better this way,” I explained, but I shifted. I actually wasn’t that comfortable, even after the pills I’d taken. “If you don’t get visitors, why do you have all this furniture and stuff?”

Jake looked around. “It seemed dumb to have empty rooms.”

“But why did you want a big house? Just because it’s a thing?”

“What thing?”

“You know, if you have the money, you spend it,” I clarified. The moment people in my family had gotten more than a few bucks in their pockets, they’d immediately wasted it on a reckless purchase so everyone else could see how well they were doing.

“No, I don’t feel the need to show off.” He glanced around the room. “Before I bought this house, I already had an idea of what I wanted. I knew what I wanted my life to look like,” he explained. “I used to think about how I would get it. If football didn’t work out, then I was going to start a business. I had a lot of ideas.”

“You did well for yourself.” I shifted my weight again, trying to get more comfortable, and he watched me.

“Here,” he said, and moved up to the head of the bed. He sat next to me there, taking away the pillow and replacing it with his body. “Lean on me.” He put his arm around me, too. “Is that better?”

“It is,” I said as I relaxed against him. “Thank you.”

“You seemed like you were in pain,” he told me. “It’s easier this way and I don’t mind.”

I nodded. “Tell me about the things you wanted for your life.”

He was quiet for a moment, thinking. “A car of my own,” he said. “One that ran well, and consistently. That was the first thing I bought when I had some real money in my pocket, a new car. Nothing fancy, but very dependable.”

I thought about Meadow scratching the banana…no, it had been a penis that she’d drawn on the door of his truck, and I felt worse about that.

“I wanted to have a house, too, and land,” he continued. “I wanted something of my own that’s permanent. No matter where I end up playing, I can come back here and it’s mine. I found this place when I got traded to the Woodsmen and I thought it was perfect.”

“Are you sorry that your family won’t visit, though?” I asked.

“No, I was never close to any of them. I always figured I’d have my own family.”

Yeah, I thought he should.

“What about your relatives?” he asked. “Do you want to see them?”

“Besides Meadow, absolutely not,” I answered definitively. “When they show up, they bring trouble along with them.”

“Is that why you left home when you were so young?”

“One of the reasons, I guess. There just wasn’t anything for me there,” I said. “I hoped to find a good life, somewhere. I’m glad you got what you wanted with this beautiful house and that gorgeous truck.”

He didn’t answer that but he asked, “Are you feeling better now?”

I felt much better. A while ago, I had formed the opinion that he was a good hugger, the kind of person you’d want to hold on to tightly and who would hold you tightly back, in a very enjoyable way. We weren’t exactly hugging now, but his arm was around me and I felt the warmth of his big body next to mine, and I had been right. It was amazing. “I’m much better,” I assured him. I nodded, which brushed my cheek a little against his t-shirt. That was so soft and also so confounding. How was he only wearing a t-shirt? I shivered a little as I thought of it and he reached with his other arm to pull up the blanket.

“Who picked out the stuff, this blanket and everything else?” I asked. “Did you hire somebody?”

“No, I did it. I bought what l liked.”

“I like it too. I had to buy furniture for our house, for Meadow so that the social worker would approve it,” I mentioned. “I was just running around, though, trying to get it done fast and cheap. I didn’t pay much attention to whether I liked it and it turns out that some of what I picked isn’t very comfortable. The couch kind of sucks.”

“I noticed that. It still has glitter on it, too.”

“Does it? It also turns out that glitter is pernicious.”

“Good word.”

I nodded. “That is a good one. Before, when I had more time, I read a lot and I tried to get vocab from that. I read the books that I would have gotten to in high school, because I always felt pretty sorry that I didn’t stick around for my diploma. But that academic stuff wasn’t working, and what was I going to do?” I asked.

“Finish high school. That would have been the thing to do,” he stated.

“Well, I couldn’t.” I tried to move away from him, but his arm stayed where it was so I did, too. “I had so many absences that there was a big problem and my mom was moving in with her boyfriend, so everything got messed up. We had always lived in the same place, my grandmother’s house, but Mom took out too much money against it and the bank auctioned it off. I decided to cut my losses and quit.” I’d spent two years bouncing around Detroit before I’d gathered my resources and left the state, too.

We were quiet for a while and my eyes had closed when Jake spoke again. “You and Meadow can stay here as long as you want,” he told me. “There’s no reason for you to go back to the place that Christal knows about. She’d have to be pretty brazen to come to my house, especially when I’m also on site.”

“I don’t think she’s ever been accused of thinking things through,” I said. “And thank you, thank you so much for offering, but we couldn’t. I have to provide a place for Meadow and the county has to approve it. Her caseworker wouldn’t like it if I moved in with some random guy. Even though you’re not just some random guy,” I stressed. “When I grew up, things were a lot looser and they let more slide about kids and custody, but up here, they don’t seem to. They’re right on top of everything.”

“What are they going to do about Christal now?”

I hesitated. “I know that I should have told them, but Meadow was so upset…”

“I talked to her about it while Taras was checking you over. I said that you have to tell the people in authority. They have to get a clear picture of everything, otherwise they’re not going to be able to help anyone, not her or her mom, either.”

“What did she say to that?”

“She was thinking about it, but even if she’s not on board, you need to report it.”

I nodded. “I know. I made a list in my head of all the stuff I have to do, and I’ll put that at the top.”

“What else is on there?”

“I have to get my job back, for one thing. I got fired which is why I’m not at the club tonight.”

“That, and the fact that you can hardly move,” Jake pointed out.

“Dancing would have been hard and I wouldn’t have been able to cover all these marks, not even with really good makeup. The guys aren’t too particular but I bet even they would have been bothered.”

“Does your job bother you?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The part where you have to deal with that crowd,” he said, and I understood.

“Oh, you mean being naked and pretending to like them. No, not anymore,” I told him. “At first, it was strange and I was embarrassed. I also don’t like lying, and this job is all about lying. I smile but I don’t say a bunch of stuff about how cute they are or how I’m so into them. That’s why I don’t get a lot of private clients, which is how I could make more money.”

“How far would you go?”

“I’ve done everything,” I told him. “You know, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. If I was hungry enough, if I couldn’t find a job right away, if I needed a place to stay…there are a lot of reasons. I don’t care.”

“Really? You don’t care? What if Meadow—”

“Don’t say that!” I said sharply. “Meadow is going to finish high school. She could even go to college, or she could go to trade school and get a really good job, something steady. It’s hard right now and I burned through most of my money, but I’m going to start saving again. I’ll get back to B-Dzld and I’ll work harder, and I’ll be able to help her. She won’t have to—she won’t,” I said.

“Ok.”

“Am I supposed to feel embarrassed or something? Ashamed of myself? Because I don’t,” I told him. “You got mad at me for going on a bad date and about Christal doing this to my ribs, but you don’t understand how life can be. You do what you have to and things happen. That’s normal.”

“I’m not mad at you for going out with an asshole or for how your niece acted,” Jake answered. It reminded me of when Meadow had said that it was snowing, so she wouldn’t run away: it was the weather that she’d objected to, and she hadn’t been saying “no” to the concept of skipping out on me. He really was angry, even if I hadn’t guessed right about the reason behind his feelings.

“Are we going to argue?” I asked.

“You think I’m going to kick you when you’re down?” There was a brief pause before he said, “Mother of all fucks…I didn’t mean that I’m going to kick you, ever.”

“I know you wouldn’t hurt me,” I said. “You’re not like that. Meadow told me that you named the horse ‘Chip’ because you like princess movies.”

“What does that have to do with anything? And it was supposed to be a secret,” he added.

“I’m glad I know,” I said. It made me even more sure that I was right about him: Jake Koval was a nice guy, someone you could hug, someone you could…anyway, I was glad that we weren’t going to argue. I was glad that his arm was around me, and I was glad to be with him. Temporarily.