The Leap Year Proposal

Chapter One

Anouska

Friday 20 December

Oh shit! I can’t be. What am I going to do?

Anouska glanced down at the white stick in her hand– two distinct blue lines and then 2 – 4 weeks pregnant appeared.

No, no, no!

Anouska needed a couple of minutes to compose herself. Pregnant. But how? She was on the pill. She didn’t recall any accidents.

Her stomach churned as she considered the ramifications. How would she run her business with a baby? She wouldn’t be able to jet off to the States or Asia whenever she felt like it.

In eight months she would be a mother. What the hell was she going to do? Her lifestyle would have to completely change. More importantly, what would Zach say? They hadn’t wanted children– they were too busy with their careers and happy as a couple. They’d both thought children would only dilute that.

Her head was a whirl of thoughts. She’d have to delegate even more work to her staff, train up new people. Who would replace her whilst she was on maternity leave? How much maternity leave could she reasonably take?

Her heartbeat sped up. Never mind the work stuff. She was going to be a mum. She and Zach were going to be parents. Dear, sweet Zach who had spent the last few years working fourteen-hour shifts, opening his travel bookshop and bistro and turning it into the success it now was. They barely had time for a relationship, let alone a baby– babies took up a lot of time. A crazy amount of time. Nothing would ever be the same again.

What a mess. With a final thought to the imminent upheaval to her life, Anouska unlocked the bathroom door and returned to her office.

‘You OK?’ her assistant, Leigh-Ann, asked. ‘You’re looking a bit peaky.’

Anouska made a face. ‘Bit of a dicky tummy. The joys of jet lag.’

Leigh-Ann gave a wry smile. ‘I guess I’ve that to look forward to, what with my trip to the Maldives.’

‘Let’s hope not. I need you firing on all cylinders.’ Anouska grinned and Leigh-Ann smiled at her.

As Leigh-Ann ran through the messages that had come in and discussed the matters she considered most pressing, Anouska’s primary thought was that she’d have to be ultra-careful. She couldn’t have Leigh-Ann finding out before Zach.

Anouska was pretty sure she’d managed to get through the day without Leigh-Ann twigging something was wrong. She felt a bit guilty about duping Leigh-Ann into thinking she was tired from her flight back from Singapore, or even suffering from the aeroplane food, but needs must. No, now she had another problem. Zach. She was dreading him coming home. He knew her too well and she was afraid he would guess something was up before she had mentally prepared herself. She needed time to regroup after seeing him and before delivering the news of her pregnancy.

Her life was about to be put in a spin-dryer and put on fast spin, yet no matter how difficult life became, she was having this baby. She just hoped Zach wanted it, too, as she loved Zach more than she’d ever loved anyone, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him, but if it came to a choice between Zach and the baby, the baby would win. Anouska exhaled heavily and sat down on the sofa, her hand gripping the armrest. Wow, where had that come from? The baby was barely a collection of cells at the moment. Clearly the maternal instinct to protect was strong. Anouska placed her hand on her abdomen, a twinge of excitement pulsing through her as she spoke her first words to her unborn child. ‘I’m here for you, baby. Whatever happens.’

Anouska had paced the flat a hundred times, waiting for Zach to come home so she could get this over with. Her thoughts boinged around in her head like the fast balls in a game of squash. Gypsy, Zach’s cat, eyed her from the single armchair.

Anouska only hoped Zach understood why she had to keep the baby, and even more importantly, she hoped she could count on his support; otherwise, where would that leave them? A baby hadn’t figured in their plans, but ultimately it was a part of them, so there was no way she could ever contemplate getting rid of it, and that was without even considering the moral implications.

Exhaustion swept over her and she reclined on the bed, the revelation and the subsequent self-analysis too much for her. Within minutes she was yawning.

She woke around midnight. Alone. She vaguely recalled flopping onto the bed around half past ten. Where was Zach? Her hand landed on her phone. She switched on the bedside lamp to find she’d received a text from Zach telling her not to wait up as they had some late diners scheduled and he wouldn’t be home until around two. Normally, Anouska would have felt aggrieved at the situation, but despite wanting to relay the news to Zach earlier, now she was grateful for the reprieve.

Saturday 21 December

The next morning Anouska woke at ten o’clock. This time Zach’s side of the bed had been slept in, but he was still notable by his absence.

‘ You must have been shattered, ’ said Zach’s note. ‘ I didn’t want to wake you, or rather I did, and wanted to do some unmentionable things to you, but you were sound asleep. See you around nine tonight. I’ve left you some kofte in the fridge. Have a good day, Zach x .’

How long had she slept?

She had been truly out of it. But she couldn’t wait until tonight to see him. And it was just as well she had woken up when she did as she needed to crack on with work, because the items on her to-do list were stacking up. At least it was the weekend and she didn’t need to go into the office. Leigh-Ann knew her better than she knew herself, so there would be no hiding the difference in her behaviour from her. She’d already eyed her suspiciously yesterday, albeit she hadn’t cottoned on to the enormity of the situation, just called her on being out of sorts.

Today she’d work from home, bury herself in her emails and projects, something familiar, to stop her from overanalysing every detail of her impending motherhood.

And on Monday, she needed to call the doctor or nurse or midwife about what to do next and who she was supposed to see. With a yawn, she sat up on the edge of the bed, allowed her brain to catch up, then headed for the shower.

As the welcome jets of water cascaded over her body, taking away the aches in her muscles, she pondered once again how to tell Zach. Her shower lasted longer than usual as she stood hoping for divine intervention to help her cope with this monumental change in her life.

Beach Esplanade was quieter than usual as Anouska strolled along the promenade, most people opting to do last-minute Christmas shopping in the city centre. She’d be heading there shortly, too, to see Zach at Bean There.

But first she needed the bracing North Sea air to not only blow those cobwebs away but work their magic so she could work out how to tell Zach.

It was such alien territory to her that she wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of her pregnancy. And she couldn’t exactly hang about; they were rarely in the same time zone, for goodness’ sake.

A father of twin girls with platinum-blonde curls, who were probably around the age of two or three, ran onto the beach, chasing them as they shrieked with delight. Anouska’s lips curved into a smile. That could be her and Zach soon. Her right hand flew to her stomach, as if in acknowledgement.

As she followed them down onto the beach, she was glad she’d put on her walking boots. They made trudging along the sand that bit easier. At the water’s edge, she felt once again captivated by the sheer power of the sea. Sometimes it was as if it held the answers to life’s great secrets. She hoped that was true today as she was seeking those answers deep within herself and coming up short. Why didn’t she feel ready to tell Zach about the baby? What was stopping her? Why was she hesitating? Zach loved her, she loved him. Simple. Except Zach had always been clear about one thing– he didn’t want children.

Anouska approached Bean There with more than a little trepidation. This could be the end of something beautiful or the start of something even more wonderful. She hadn’t the faintest idea how Zach would react, but she’d made up her mind– she was telling him today, now.

She meandered along Union Street, looking in all the shop windows, including a baby boutique. She smiled at the tiny Baby-gros and cute motifs, as well as the ‘hand-knitted’ cardigans.

Finally, she reached Bean There. She stood admiring the new window display, fully aware it was a delaying tactic, but she wasn’t quite ready. So she drank in every detail about Moroccan architecture and cuisine, New Zealand’s Eastern Seaboard and Koh Yao Noi in Thailand. Three places she had never been, and most likely would never go now, or at least, not for the next seventeen years.

When she had no further excuse not to enter, she took a deep breath, urged herself to be strong and pushed open the door.

Zach was holding court with a group of regular diners so didn’t notice her come in. One of the diners saw her standing waiting, and nodded in her direction, causing Zach to turn around.

‘Anouska, I’m so glad you came. Sleep well?’

She nodded.

Zach turned back to his customers and said, ‘Would you excuse me for a second?’

Anouska followed Zach into the office. He held her hands, gazed into her eyes, then pulled her towards him, kissing her then nuzzling into her neck.

When they broke apart, he said, ‘How was Singapore?’

‘Good. We got the contract.’

‘I’d expect nothing less. Well done.’ He kissed her again, this time with more passion, until she knew where the term ‘weak at the knees’ had originated. ‘I’ve missed you. This trip more than ever. This hardly seeing each other is killing me. Will our schedules ever calm down? I just want some time for us. Just the two of us. Not the bistro, not the constant travelling, just us.’

Anouska’s heart shattered into a million pieces.

How can I tell him now?

Monday 23 December

Over the past few days Anouska had looked for opportunities to tell Zach, but there had never seemed a good moment. She’d had plenty of time to reflect on her situation and work out what to say to him, but it hadn’t helped. She had no idea how she was going to tell him, short of saying, ‘Oh, by the way, darling, we’re going to be parents,’ or, ‘Great news, I’m pregnant.’ And since she knew pregnancy had been a dealbreaker with his ex, she wasn’t finding it easy to confront the topic head-on.

After a jam-packed day of work, she’d decided to return to the harbour front to clear her head, literally this time, as her head was pounding. It had helped a little last time. However, although the weather had been cold but pleasant when she’d set out, it had changed in the past fifteen minutes and the wind gusting in from the North Sea buffeted her as signs of an impending storm increased. If she stayed out here any longer, she risked brain freeze.

She knew she should have paid more attention to the forecast, but she had other things on her mind. Anouska adjusted her scarf and tightened the belt of her woollen trench coat as she headed towards the city centre.

The warming glow of the lights of Bean There shone out like a beacon in the midst of all the drizzle and enveloping darkness as Anouska hurried towards it.

Five o’clock, almost. The bistro was busy despite the inclement weather, or perhaps because of it. A welcome blast of hot air greeted her as she opened the door to her refuge.

‘Nush!’ Zach’s business partner, Todd, enveloped her in a cloud of Issey Miyake, then caught up on her news before taking her order.

‘Hi, gorgeous.’ Zach planted a kiss on Anouska’s lips to smiles from some of the bistro’s clientele. ‘How was your day?’

‘Busy. Yours?’

‘The same. Todd said you’ve ordered some quiche. I haven’t had my break yet, so if things start to quieten down, I could eat with you.’

‘That would be great. We’ve hardly seen each other since I got back.’

‘I know. It has been a busy week. Always is at this time of year. Tell you what, why don’t I see if Todd can manage in here on his own for the last few hours tonight, and I’ll come home and make it up to you?’

‘Sounds good.’

Zach stood up, dropped a kiss on her head and strode over to the counter to talk to Todd.

‘We need to do this more often.’ Anouska snuggled into Zach’s side as they watched a romantic comedy they’d seen countless times before, Gypsy purring contentedly at Zach’s feet.

‘I know. We both work so much. I’m always at the bistro and you’re away travelling all the time.’ After a brief pause, Zach said, ‘Do you think you’d ever want to move abroad?’

Anouska considered this then said, ‘Never really thought about it. I like Aberdeen, even if I’m rarely home these days. It’s nice to have roots.’

‘I know what you mean. I’ve lived here all my life and if I couldn’t see the sea every day, it would feel as if the world had tilted on its axis.’

‘Well, how about we buy somewhere bigger someday? This flat’s nice but it’s a bit bijou.’

‘I like bijou,’ replied Zach, feigning indignation.

‘You know what I mean. We have to keep decluttering so we have enough room.’

‘Everybody knows that if you buy a bigger house, you end up filling it up with even more crap.’

‘But we can’t live here forever. We need to have our own place, one we’ve both chosen.’ It had always niggled at Anouska that she’d been forced to adopt the flat Zach’s aunt had left him in her will. It would have been churlish to ask him to move at the time, but now she wanted somewhere to make her own, their own.

‘Hmm,’ Zach said. ‘Let’s not fight. C’mon, your turn to fetch the Pringles.’

As Anouska retrieved more snacks, she kicked herself. Her introduction of the house topic was meant to act as a lead-in to revealing her pregnancy to him, but that had fallen flat. The longer she waited, the harder it would be. She needed to do it, and soon.