Chapter Thirty
Jess
Friday 28 February
Jess lazed by the indoor pool, which had windows that gave onto the gardens, and drank in the magnificent scenery around her. Mark was happy to do likewise, chilling, fetching cocktails and mocktails every so often, occasionally having a swim. It had been so nice being alone together, with no work, no interruptions. The kiss with Nathan was fading into obscurity and she hoped that wasn’t a case of out of sight, out of mind, and that she had simply succumbed to a temporary madness. It all seemed unreal now.
‘I can’t believe how sneaky you were at organising this trip,’ Mark said, lying on his side and raising himself up on one elbow to talk with her more easily.
Jess smirked. ‘I should be working for the Secret Service.’
Mark bit into a slice of pear and the juice dribbled down his chin, before he wiped it with a napkin. The sight was unbelievably sexy. Somehow Jess wondered if it would have seemed so if they were back home in their flat in Glasgow. She thought not. But here in Sicily, eating fresh fruit, relaxing by the pool, and being away from their usual humdrum existence, it did.
‘I can’t believe the trouble you went to just to plan our winter getaway. It was so thoughtful. Thank you.’ He bent over and kissed her gently on the forehead, then when he drew back, his eyes met hers and he leant forward again and kissed her, this time on the lips.
‘Mark…’ Jess said in warning as things began to heat up between them.
‘There’s nobody here. We could make love right here, or in the pool and no one would know.’
He was right. They were alone. It was clearly out of season. But whilst the risk of being caught might have been a turn-on, the reality wouldn’t be. It would be mortifying, they may be thrown out of the hotel, returning home in disgrace, and her plans would be in tatters. Plus, the hotel may well have CCTV.
No, if they wanted to indulge in any extracurricular activities, it would have to be in the confines of their room.
Discreetly, she disentangled herself from Mark, whose cry of ‘Aw!’ made her smile. ‘Later,’ she murmured as she fetched them each a mojito.
When she handed Mark his drink, he sat up and said, ‘I can’t believe you were able to pull this off because my deputy head goes to your yoga class.’
Jess burst out laughing. ‘It wasn’t only down to that, but it helped with getting you the time off.’
‘You still haven’t told me exactly how you managed that?’ Mark searched her face as if it would provide the answers. Not a chance.
‘If I told you, I’d need to kill you.’
‘I think I can live without knowing.’ Mark grinned. ‘Anyway, since I haven’t had any time to plan this trip, let me bore you with what the guide book I found in the room says about Etna.’
They had ordered an early lunch because of their upcoming Etna trip, and whilst they feasted on the most exquisite cold cuts and focaccia– a completely different beast to what passed for the real thing back home– Jess once again tortured herself with her dilemma over whether or not to tell Mark about the kiss she’d shared with Nathan.
She hadn’t told the girls or Kelsea or Lauren. And she had specifically held back from telling Ellie because of what had happened with Scott. But was she any better, or was she a hypocrite? If she told Mark, was she doing it to appease her own conscience or because she honestly thought he should know? It wasn’t as if she had slept with Nathan, although Mark might not believe that. Or was she simply making excuses not to tell him? Aargh, she was driving herself mad here.
‘Are you going to eat that?’ Mark pointed at the remaining pieces of mortadella on her plate.
Distractedly, she shook her head.
‘Everything OK?’
‘Sure, delightful.’ Delightful? What was she, eighty?
Mark gave her a strange look then placed a piece of the mortadella on some focaccia and popped it in his mouth.
If she didn’t start acting normally, Mark would get suspicious. She forced a smile and said, ‘You ready for this trip to Etna?’
‘Yep, we can’t be so close but not visit it. We may never come back.’
Jess gave a sigh of relief and made a mental note to speak to Reception to change their dinner reservation to later, to give them plenty of time to get to the volcano and back. The staff had been so accommodating and had happily made the arrangements for them to go to Etna on the hotel’s courtesy bus.
After lunch, Mark went to sort some camera equipment for the trip and Jess took the opportunity to message Anouska and Ellie.
Hi, ladies. Taormina is lovely. Villa Azzurra is amazing. I’m feeling really nervous about popping the question. Probably pre-proposal nerves, but I don’t know if I can go through with it . Thank goodness I still have another day to work up the courage! Anouska, that’s amazing. All the best for it x
She attached two photos showing Villa Azzurra at its best. The views were spectacular and the crystal-clear waters made you want to plunge yourself into their depths there and then, until you remembered it was February.
Fab photos, Jess. Ellie.
Absolutely you should propose to Mark! And not just so I’m not the only one proposing! It’s natural to be nervous. I feel sick to my stomach, and it’s nothing to do with pregnancy. What are your reservations?
How could she put into words how she was feeling? She certainly couldn’t put it in the group chat, especially not when Scott had cheated on Ellie. Although technically she hadn’t cheated on Mark– Nathan had kissed her– it felt like she had. Had she? Oh God, now she was even more confused.
Well, there was no way, even if Ellie hadn’t been cheated on, she could commit her thoughts to writing.
It’s probably just me being silly. Hopefully the butterflies will go away soon.
‘You ready?’ Mark asked as he reappeared with his camera bag. ‘The driver’s waiting for us in Reception.’
Jess pasted on a smile, took Mark’s outstretched hand and headed for the minibus.
Two hours later, as she stood at the halfway point up Mount Etna, Jess gawped and said, ‘It’s incredible.’
They’d decided not to go all the way up as it took two hours to get up the mountain as well as another hour for the drive back. It really was breathtaking. She surveyed the landscape, imagining what it might be like when the volcano erupted. How did the emergency services evacuate people in time? Zafferana in particular was in grave danger from any lava flow.
‘It’s quite something, isn’t it?’ Mark said at her side, snapping away with his Nikon. ‘Here, stand right there so I can get you with Etna in the background.’ Jess adjusted her position and Mark took a few snaps.
‘You look beautiful in this photo, Jess.’ Mark showed her one of the pictures he’d just taken.
‘You sound surprised,’ Jess teased him.
‘Not at all. You always look beautiful.’ He kissed the top of her head.
Tears pricked Jess’ eyes. He was being so sweet.
She returned her attention to the panorama around her. Snow-capped peaks, tiny villages, there were even some serious hikers out. She had no intention of doing that level of hiking today. Too cold. The summit was closed too, because of the amount of volcanic activity– nothing threatening, but enough that it was unsafe to approach the top.
They’d taken the cable car up to the mountain hut which doubled as a cafeteria and stopped in for some hot chocolate.
She took Mark’s hand in hers, relishing the feel of it, the familiarity, how safe she felt when she was with him. They just needed to focus on each other more. Sicily was helping. It was a pity they couldn’t stay longer, but she had no intention of procrastinating. She wanted to marry Mark. She knew it. One hundred per cent. He was her soulmate. Her safe haven. Her go-to person. He was the one she wanted to have adventures with, explore new places with, bore friends senseless with as they showed them the holiday snaps taken in faraway places. She couldn’t imagine doing all that with anyone else, nor did she want to. Recently, they’d had a bumpy ride, life getting in the way, but their relationship was solid. They were meant to be. Jess inhaled a deep breath then blew it out slowly. They needed to talk.
Back at the hotel, they were dressing for dinner. It was now or never.
‘Mark, have you got a sec?’
‘Yep. Just let me put my trousers on.’ He winked at her. ‘Or not, depending on what you were about to say.’ He indicated the bed with a smirk.
‘Not that, maybe later.’ Despite the gravity of the situation, her mouth turned up at the corners.
‘You look nice,’ he said, his eyes drinking her in.
Now wasn’t the time to point out to him that a man should never tell a girl she looked ‘nice’. Any other positive adjective was always preferable.
‘Mark, put your trousers on and come and sit down. I need to talk to you.’
His eyebrows furrowed. ‘Sounds ominous.’
Jess said nothing but continued to look at him.
‘Should I be worried?’ He smiled, but it was a surface smile and didn’t reach his eyes. He slumped down on the bed beside her like a condemned man reluctantly sitting in the electric chair.
It was harder to do this side-on, but at least she could hold his hands.
‘Mark, you know I love you…’
His smile faltered. ‘Why do I feel there’s a but coming here?’ There was an edge to his tone.
‘There’s no “but”. I love you one hundred per cent. But–’ Too late, Jess caught herself. She gave Mark an ‘OK, you were right’ lopsided smile. ‘–I do have to tell you something.’
Mark didn’t break eye contact with her but he fidgeted, as if concerned over what was coming next.
‘I didn’t mean for it to happen. Sorry, that sounds as if it’s something more serious than it is, but basically someone kissed me, and I kissed him back. It only happened once and it won’t happen again, but it’s been eating away at me, and we always tell each other the truth, and nothing else would ever have happened, but I couldn’t not tell you.’ She stopped, aware she was babbling.
‘You kissed someone else?’ Mark said.
‘No, yes, but…’ Jess couldn’t formulate her thoughts never mind words.
Mark held up a finger. ‘Did you enjoy it?’ he asked, his voice dangerously soft.
Jess flushed. She was a terrible liar, and she didn’t want to lie anyway, but neither did she want to hurt Mark any further. Her scratchy throat told her she was on the verge of tears, and unable to trust herself not to bawl her eyes out, she nodded mutely as misery overcame her.
‘So, you’ve been seeing someone else.’ It was a statement not a question.
‘No! Not like that, at least,’ Jess protested. ‘I didn’t realise he liked me like that. I promise.’ She was breathing hard now.
Mark studied her in silence. Although it was torturous, Jess was too afraid to break it, terrified of what Mark might say.
Finally Mark said, ‘I believe you.’
Jess let out the breath she’d been holding. ‘Thank you, and I’m sorry I didn’t read the situation properly, but I had to tell you. I couldn’t have it between us.’
‘I already knew.’
Jess’ mouth fell open. ‘You knew?’
‘Well, I didn’t know about the kiss, but Daz saw you with a guy in that new café, what is it– Piece of Pie?’
‘Slice of Pie,’ Jess said, wondering belatedly if she should have let the minor error slide; it wasn’t important.
‘That one. Yeah, Daz said he saw you having dinner there the other night.’
‘It sounds worse than it was, I promise. I’d only had a soggy sandwich all day, and I tried to get a juice out of the machine, but it wasn’t working, then the gym café was shut, so Nathan, that’s the guy I had some pasta with–’ she blanched when Mark winced ‘–he suggested that new café. There was nothing more sinister to it. And he helped me find Bella the day the boy hit me with the skateboard and she bolted. Then he asked me to walk his dog Baxter, which I’ve been doing. And he offered to be my running partner as I told him I needed to start training for the half-marathon. He’s been attending my classes. I didn’t think anything of it, and then the other day when we went running, he kissed me. I was so taken aback, I kissed him back. I’m so sorry. We hadn’t discussed relationships. It was a misunderstanding. He liked me, and I hadn’t realised it wasn’t just in a platonic way.’ She gasped for breath.
‘Jess, I’m not being funny, but you’re so na?ve. Look at you, you’re gorgeous, you’re fit, you’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re funny. Why wouldn’t any guy be interested in you? Obviously, I’d rather you hadn’t kissed, but as long as you can promise me it won’t happen again, I can live with it. You and me, we’re meant to be, aren’t we?’ He gave her a hopeful smile.
‘Absolutely we are.’ Jess wrapped her arms around Mark and hugged him. ‘I love you, Mark. Don’t ever forget it. And I won’t see him again– not running, not walking his dog, nor the classes. He’s a decent guy. He just misread the signals.’ She hoped that was true. ‘I don’t think he’d even think of coming back to class.’
‘I love you, too, Jess.’ He kissed her forehead, leaving his lips against it for a few seconds. ‘Anyway, I don’t think I’m completely blameless. I know I haven’t been spending very much time with you lately. It’s taken us coming on holiday for me to realise that. I’m sorry. Relationships take work. Our relationship needs work, our attention. We’re too important to take it for granted.’
‘Agreed.’ Jess smiled and said, ‘Let’s finish getting ready, then we can go sample some more of that incredible food.’
‘Yeah, you can make it up to me later. But for now, lead on, Macduff.’ Mark grinned. ‘I’m starving.’