The Letter of Silence (Dark Sorrow #1)

ONE

Aliya

THREE YEARS AGO

In the past, when I was an innocent, happy child who enjoyed life to the fullest, I was very afraid of death.

So how could my life have changed so much within a few years that now I long for nothing but to die?

I let myself fall forward into the road, ready to feel the pain that will bring me my personal freedom.

I will never have to suffer again.

A loud horn and the shouts of a deep voice break the intoxicating numbness in my ears.

A strong grip grabs my arm before I’m pulled back. I stumble and fall with a stranger into the cold snow as the truck speeds past us, honking loudly.

My heart pounds rapidly against my chest, and I stare wide-eyed at the busy main street of Detroit.

I almost took my own life.

“Fuck! What the hell were you doing?” The strange voice behind me speaks up. “You could be dead!”

I could be dead.

Dead, lifeless, and cold.

I look at my trembling hands. My vision blurs as my eyes fill with tears.

“Hey, little one.”

The stranger’s voice is now a touch softer. I can feel the vibration of his chest against my back as I’m still sitting between his legs. Perplexed, I turn to him, still unable to breathe.

But the only thing I perceive are his green eyes.

My mother’s disappointed and incredulous expression flashes before my eyes, and I gasp frantically for air as the events of tonight and the reason for my suicide attempt come rushing back to me.

My shaking intensifies, and I feel like I’m about to lose my mind if I haven’t already.

My lungs are constricted, and I can’t fucking breathe.

“Hey, can you hear me?” Warm hands cup my cheeks. “You have to breathe! Can you hear me? Breathe!”

He lets go of my face and takes hold of my shaking, cold hands instead.

“Close your eyes.”

I do as he says.

“Take a breath in … and out, little one.”

I try to block out all my thoughts and focus solely on the deep yet gentle voice of the stranger, which seems to calm me down.

Once I’m able to breathe on my own again, I open my eyes and blink a few times.

Warm, concerned eyes meet mine.

“Are you okay?” He still has my hands clasped tightly in his.

Absently, I nod.

The dark-haired guy looks around before straightening up without releasing my hands, forcing me to stand up as well.

He towers over me and his thick winter jacket makes him look broader than he actually is. His gaze drifts back to me, and I hold it. Although his facial features appear young, he seems older than me.

Goosebumps spread across my body as a few snowflakes settle on my bare arms. Only now do I realize that my body is shivering with cold. I didn’t put anything over my pajamas when I hastily ran away from home.

As if the nameless stranger sensed it, he lets go of my hands, takes off his jacket, and puts it over my shoulders. A tingling feeling runs through me as I stare at him in disbelief.

All the terrible things I’ve been through in the last few years made me forget that there are still good people in this ruined world.

“Come with me.”

His hand rests on my back as he leads me away from the edge of the main road.

I sip my hot chocolate as I sit on a bench in the middle of downtown.

The stranger, whose name I still don’t know, is sitting right next to me.

After stopping me from trying to end my life, he got me something to drink and brought me here to Roosevelt Park.

There’s an unsettling silence between us that I don’t want to break.

He probably has a lot of questions now and doesn’t know what to do with me. Can I blame him?

His clearing his throat snaps me out of my thoughts, and I look at him. Since I’m wearing his winter jacket, he’s just sitting on the bench in a dark gray sweatshirt and jeans.

He has big hands that are clasped together on his lap.

“What’s your name, little one?”

The pet name little one makes my stomach flutter pleasantly.

“Aliya.”

It’s the first time I’ve spoken since the incident, and I barely recognize my own voice.

“Aliya.” He leans back, his eyes resting on me for a few seconds. “I’m Lio.”

Lio. Unusual name.

“How old are you?”

“Fourteen.”

He runs a hand through his dark brown hair with a sigh, messing it up. “Where do you live?”

“Belmont.”

His eyes widen as he looks at me in disbelief. “That’s nine miles from here. How did you get here?”

When I ran away from home in a panic, I didn’t have a specific destination.

Disoriented, I ran without looking back or paying attention to my mother’s shouts.

I wanted to get away.

Away from her .

Away from him .

Away from home.

Just disappear and never come back.

I wince as I sink back into dark thoughts that I don’t want to think about right now.

He sighs. “I get it.”

I take another sip of my drink, which is now lukewarm.

My gaze wanders to his motorcycle, parked right next to the bench we’re sitting on. I know absolutely nothing about bikes, but the dark paintwork combined with the silver exhaust and rims gives the motorcycle a certain look of elegance and glamour.

My father had a great interest in trying new things during his lifetime – from bungee jumping to skydiving. And he was also very fond of racing. In that aspect, I’m not like my father at all. Maybe it’s because I lost him far too early and my time with him was limited. If he knew that I tried to end my life tonight, he wouldn’t forgive me.

“Did you want to-” Lio interrupts himself and bites his lower lip.

I know exactly what he wants to ask me, but his lips can’t bring themselves to say it aloud.

He shakes his head. “I don’t want to push you, kiddo. I don’t want to harm you. But in order to help you, you have to tell me what I can do for you.”

Although Lio looks like a typical heartbreaker with his jet-black motorcycle, loose sweatshirt, tousled hair, the many chains around his neck, and his stunning face, he has his heart in the right place.

I stare at the paper cup in my hand. “I ran away from home because I … had a fight with my mother.”

Is she looking for me at the moment?

Would she even care that I am spending time with a stranger nine miles away from home in a park at one in the morning?

“You always hear that all mothers are angels, but some can be worse than the devil, don’t you think?”

My eyes dart to him. He stares fixedly at his motorcycle while his tone is cold and harsh.

His stiff expression loosens when he looks at me again. “But you shouldn’t punish yourself for that. Never.”

I know exactly what he’s getting at, but is death really a punishment?

I immediately shake off the thought.

No matter how much I may loathe life, I have to cling to it – for my father’s sake.

“Life can test you pretty hard sometimes. People may betray you, you can lose all your belongings or forget the meaning of life, but none of these reasons should make you want to end it all.”

I almost feel like he’s speaking from experience.

But he’s right.

Death shouldn’t sound tempting to my ears. I shouldn’t long to give up my life, but then why can’t I turn off those voices in my head?

“You’re still young, little one. So young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t let other people affect you. No matter how hard life may be at times, one day it will get easier. One day, everything will be easier.”

He’s right, but I still struggle to suppress my inner turmoil.

Lio straightens up and smiles at me. A dimple appears on his right cheek, and despite the low temperature, my heart suddenly warms. “Remember one more thing. In the pursuit of the impossible, you may find the achievable.”

I furrow my eyebrows. What does that mean?

But he gets up from the bench before I have a chance to ask him. “Well, let’s go home.”

I freeze. Home?

The warm feeling from a few seconds ago disappears, and instead, everything inside me turns to a lump of ice.

With my head down, I rise from my seat as well.

“Or we could grab something to eat and find a place that’s warmer than here,” he adds, noticing that I don’t seem inclined to go home.

He couldn’t care less, but he doesn’t leave me alone and wastes his time on me.

I simply nod and follow him as he turns to his bike.

Even though my personal nightmare will continue tomorrow, I want to enjoy my last peaceful moments in his presence and forget everything else.

I want to leave behind all the events that have forced me to go this far and focus only on my Savior.

Death is not my salvation.

He is.

My unknown and kind-hearted hero, without whose help I would no longer be alive.