Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Bella frowned at her reflection. How did women wear lipstick this red and make it look good? She was definitely less Liz Taylor, more random woman with Ribena stains around her mouth. Celestine hobbled to the open bedroom door and knocked on the frame.
‘I’ve told you, no need to knock.’ Bella turned to her. ‘It’s your house!’
‘I don’t like to disturb you.’
‘You’re not disturbing me at all. As you can see, I’m doing a great job of looking disturbed without any help.’
Celestine frowned.
‘I look like a nutter,’ Bella elaborated. ‘I can’t get any of this right.’ She wafted a hand down her frame. ‘I can’t even get the lippy right. As for the hair…I’m sure nobody looked like this in the forties.’
‘I’d do it for you, but?—’
‘I’m not going to ask you to stand doing my hair for ages. It’ll have to do as it is.’
‘I expect there’ll be help available at the meeting point. You could ask one of the girls there to help you if you’re not happy with what you’ve done – although I think it looks fine.’
‘Thank you, but I think you’re only trying to make me feel better. It looks far from fine.’
‘Stop worrying – you look lovely. And I thought you might like to wear this…’ She held out a silver locket.
Bella’s forehead creased as she went to take a closer look. ‘Where’s that from? Is it yours?’
‘It was my mother’s.’
‘Oh, I can’t wear that – it’s precious! What if I lost it?’
‘It might as well be lost for how often I take it out of the box. And let’s face it, I don’t have children of my own to leave it to, so you might as well have it.’
‘But…’
‘I’ve always been fond of you,’ Celestine said. ‘You’re as close to a granddaughter as I ever had. I’ve thought about it, and I’d like you to have it. I don’t want us to argue over it.’
Bella’s eyes filled with sudden tears. The thought of Celestine feeling her childlessness so keenly made her sadder than she could express. To feel that the great niece who’d barely visited since becoming an adult was the closest thing she had…it didn’t bear thinking about.
‘Oh, don’t mind me,’ Celestine said, seeming to understand that her gesture hadn’t gone down in the way she’d expected. ‘It’s a silly…It was only a thought. Of course you don’t want to wear it.’
‘I do!’ Bella took her aunt into a gentle hug. ‘It’s a lovely thought. Thank you. But I won’t wear it today, if that’s all right – I’d be terrified of losing it. I’ll keep it safe and think of your mother when I look at it. Is there…?’ Bella opened the locket, expecting to find a tiny photo inside, but there was no picture. Instead, there was a lock of red hair. She looked up at Celestine. ‘Your mum’s?’ Celestine nodded and fresh tears sprang to Bella’s eyes. ‘For God’s sake!’ she sniffed. ‘I’m going to have to do my mascara again! I’m such a soppy mare!’
‘I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry?—’
‘You didn’t upset me; you made me happy. I cry when I’m happy. At least, I used to. I can’t remember the last time it happened because I can’t remember the last time I was properly happy. I’ve loved being here with you the last couple of weeks. I can’t tell you how good it’s been for me and how much it’s helped me. I felt at sea, like I didn’t know what to do or where to go, and then I got here and it was all OK.’
‘You know the offer I made before still stands.’ Celestine held Bella at arm’s length and smiled. ‘You can stay as long as you like. Forever, if that’s what you want.’
‘You say that now, but I’m sure you’d be sick of me after a few months.’
‘I don’t think so. And I’m sure you don’t want to live with a boring old lady, but if you did…’
‘You’re not boring, not one bit,’ Bella said. ‘It’s a lovely idea, but I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I only know I’m happy right now, and that’s enough.’ Bella glanced at the carriage clock on the shelf. ‘And I also know I’m going to be late for Bernard’s briefing if I don’t get a move on.’
‘Oh, hang Bernard’s briefing!’
‘Celestine!’ Bella laughed, going back to the mirror to dab at her eye make-up. ‘You can’t say that!’
‘You won’t be missing anything.’
‘I might be missing something important.’
‘There’s only one way to sit in a jeep, isn’t there?’
‘As long as I get in the right jeep, then yes. It’d be my luck to end up in some poor tourist’s car instead of at the parade. Besides, I don’t want to annoy Bernard. If we’re both late, he might not ask me to do it again.’
Celestine raised her eyebrows. ‘I thought you said you felt silly.’
‘Doesn’t mean feeling silly can’t be fun. I think it’s important too. It celebrates something very important to the island, and I’ve realised that I ought to be honoured to be a part of those celebrations.’
‘I’m glad you feel that way.’
Bella looked at the clock again. ‘So how long do I have to fix this lot?’
‘The cab will be here in ten minutes,’ Celestine said. ‘I’m ready to go.’
‘Oh, rub it in, why don’t you? It’s your bloody fault I’ve got to redo my make-up!’
Celestine was laughing as she went back down the landing to her own room. ‘All right, I’ll let you get on with it. If the taxi has to wait for a few minutes, it’s just too bad, isn’t it?’
There was a stiff breeze, but the sun was shining as Bella and Celestine arrived at the rendezvous point. Up and down the road, bunting and flags flapped, buffeted by the wind. Old-fashioned, patriotic-sounding music was already blasting out over a speaker system. Bella stared as she got out of the taxi and took in the sight of old military vehicles and decorated floats, surrounded by a sea of people in all sorts of costumes.
‘There’s one of our displays!’ she said, pointing like an excited kid as she helped Celestine out.
The driver handed her crutches over and then Bella paid him. As Celestine was going to be on a bus for most of the day to form part of what Bella had dubbed the occupation survivor squad, being driven down the parade route with others who’d been alive during the war, they’d decided not to bring her mobility scooter, having nowhere safe to leave it. Bella had marvelled that morning at how fast Celestine seemed to be healing anyway, and although she was using her scooter a great deal, over the last few days it was more for convenience than because she needed it.
Celestine tutted. ‘They’ve lost some carnations out of that corner…’
‘Too late to do anything about it now,’ Bella said. ‘And it still looks great. Nobody can tell.’
‘I can tell.’
‘From a distance when it’s whizzing along on the float even you won’t be able to see it. I wouldn’t worry.’
Bernard rushed to greet them. His cheeks were bright red. He’d always looked so pale, Bella had never imagined he could get this flushed. She wondered whether it was stress-related, but when he opened his mouth, it left her in no doubt.
‘Everyone’s turning up all over the place this morning!’ he snapped. ‘Celestine, where—Never mind, no time. Go and join the others over…there…You see Dolly?’
Bella glanced to see Dolly waving at them. She waved back with a grin. Celestine kissed her lightly before going over. ‘Have fun.’
‘You too,’ Bella said.
‘Right!’ Bernard threw a critical eye over Bella. At least it felt a bit too critical. ‘You’ll do,’ he decided finally. Bella was about to ask what she’d got wrong when he cut her off. ‘Over there, please, with the military convoy. Pippa will assign you to a vehicle.’
Bella thought for a moment about asking whether she’d inadvertently joined the real army. Assign her to a vehicle? And who was Pippa? She didn’t recall meeting her at the run-through. But another look at Bernard’s stressed face made her think better of it. She had no idea who Pippa was but decided she’d better try to find her.
She was on her way over to where an array of jeeps, old buses and a tank was parked when she noticed a man taking photos. She smiled as he waved.
‘Good morning!’ she mouthed across.
Rory held up his camera. ‘Say cheese!’ he called back.
Bella put a hand behind her head and pretended to be a model. He snapped once and then grinned as he jogged across.
‘This had better be quick,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to find someone named Pippa right now, on pain of death.’
‘God, I wouldn’t want that on my conscience. I just wanted to say good luck.’
‘You’re staying to watch the whole thing?’
‘Of course I am! I wouldn’t miss this! You’re still on for grabbing a drink afterwards?’
Bella nodded. ‘Sounds good. I don’t know what time I’ll be done, though. I think there’s stuff after the parade – music and fireworks and whatever. I suppose we could stay for those? I’m sure there will be drinking somewhere in amongst it. We’d have to stay with Celestine. Is that all right with you? I know we said at the pub…’
‘Sure, it’s no problem. I’ll find you later then.’
‘OK.’
‘By the way,’ he added as she began to hurry away. ‘You look incredible.’
Bella grinned. She was still grinning ten minutes later as she finally located Pippa. She was a surprisingly tall and slender woman with a mop of grey curls.
‘Oh!’ Pippa gave Bella a once-over and then looked faintly confused. ‘I wasn’t expecting…’
‘I’m Bella. Bernard told me to come and find you.’
‘Bernard?’ Pippa let out a sigh. ‘Don’t tell me…he wants me to find you a space on the convoy. Honestly, I wish that man would let me know when he drafts new people in; I’ve barely any space as it is, and he knows full well I couldn’t make the rehearsal so I wouldn’t?—’
‘I don’t have to…’ Bella suddenly felt awkward and a bit stupid for standing there in her uniform and period make-up. ‘If you don’t have room…’
‘No, no…we’ll find a spot for you. What’s your name?’
‘Bella,’ she repeated.
‘Bella… Celestine’s niece?’
‘Yes.’
‘Ah!’ At this Pippa looked less annoyed. She even gave a brief smile. ‘Welcome aboard!’ She looked over at the line of military vehicles parked up, pockets of volunteers milling around them in various 1940s outfits. ‘I think there’s a spare seat in the jeep with Diane…’ She pointed to a car where a tall blue-haired woman was cleaning the wing mirrors. ‘Pop over and tell her I sent you.’
‘Right…’
Bella did as she was asked. Diane gave her a broad smile as she repeated Pippa’s instructions and explained who she was.
‘Plenty of room for a small one,’ she said. ‘And you’re like a little Thumbelina, aren’t you? I’m sure we’d fit two of you in. Celestine’s niece, you say?’
Bella nodded.
‘I had heard she’d got someone in to help run the stall. How’s she doing?’
‘She’s getting on well. I think she’ll be off her crutches soon.’
‘Great stuff. Hop up; I think we’re getting ready to start.’
At first, Bella couldn’t help but feel a bit of a fraud. Here she was, cheering crowds lining the road at either side, people smiling and saluting as she waved from the jeep, and yet she’d done nothing to deserve their attention. She hadn’t lived through the occupation – she hadn’t even been born on the island. She shouted as much to Diane over the sound of the engine, who only grinned and told her nobody cared about that. She was from a Jersey family and that was good enough. After all, she reminded her, the history of Bella’s family might have been very different if not for their liberation, and so she had as much right to celebrate as anyone else once that was taken into consideration.
On an open-top Char-A-Banc bus a few vehicles ahead sat the older residents of St Rosa, the few left who’d lived through the war, including Celestine and Dolly. Bella couldn’t see any of them, and she tried to imagine how her aunt might look. There was no doubt Dolly would be enjoying herself – she seemed the sort of woman to make a party out of anything – but given what Bella knew of Celestine and her complicated feelings about those years, how would she be? Would she be sombre, reflective, even a little sad? Or would she make an effort to be positive? It had been hard to read her that morning. She’d seemed cheerful enough, but Bella was beginning to see that Celestine was good at putting a brave face on things that made her less than happy. Bella got the impression she was glad to be a part of the parade, and that every extra year she was still around to do it felt like a gift, but that seemed obvious in a way. Of course she’d be thankful that the island was liberated all those years ago and that she’d lived through the occupation, but she’d lost so many people, either directly or as a later consequence of the war, that it must have been hard to hold on to that gratitude sometimes.
As the morning wore on, Bella lost herself in the atmosphere and forgot she was meant to be feeling awkward about it all. She found herself laughing at Diane’s quips from the driver’s seat, or else grinning like mad at the cheering crowd, a sea of phone cameras above their heads. She could almost picture what this exact route must have looked like on that first Liberation Day, the smiles and laughter of sheer relief and the tears for those who’d been lost, and the weight of emotion threatened to reduce her to a confused wreck too.
The strains of rousing victory music followed them down the route, distorted and almost loud enough to drown out their engines. There was a sudden coo of delight from the crowds as the sound of planes came from the direction of the sea and a formation of ancient warplanes roared over them.
‘There’s the old Spitfire,’ Diane said. ‘We have that one every year. Owned by someone in St Helier. Must cost him a fortune to keep it flying.’
‘It’s lucky someone does. What are the others?’ Bella asked, her voice rising over the noise.
‘Not sure. I expect Bernard could tell you.’
As well as real members of the army marching along the route, there was also representation from the navy and the air force. Each contingent had their own band, playing their regimental music that clashed with the sounds coming from the speakers. They marched just behind the vehicles, but the drums from the nearest group were so loud and sonorous that Bella was sure she could feel the beat vibrating through her chest.
There were farmers and fishermen with baskets of food to represent the shortages (or so Diane said), and there were schoolchildren and their teachers dressed in period clothes, which drew smiles and coos of delight as they walked the route.
It was all frantic and noisy, but Bella loved it. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had so much fun. She had to smile at the notion of what Sean’s face would look like if he could see her now. He’d be horrified. He’d hate the idea of her enjoying herself even more than the idea that she might be getting more attention than him. He’d certainly hate the idea of her celebrating a historical event he wouldn’t have attached any value to at all. Stuff him, she thought, and vowed to upload as much footage and photography as she could onto her social media platforms, just to make sure he saw it all.
At the end of the route, Diane gave her a surprising hug.
‘Same time next year, eh?’ she said, laughing, before disappearing into the crowds with the family who’d been waiting for her.
Bella wondered vaguely whether she was meant to wait around for someone to collect the jeep Diane had abandoned. Bernard arrived shortly afterwards with a small group who set about doing just that. He didn’t ask Bella to do anything else, so she assumed from that she was free to go.
She cast around, trying to spot Celestine. It took a while – the promenade where the parade had come to an end was heaving, busy with stalls, exhibits and visitors. Bella had almost given up when she spotted Dolly and made her way over to see if she knew anything.
‘Hello, my darling!’ Dolly waved. ‘Don’t you look a picture! I think blue is your colour.’
‘I’m sweating in all this wool, I know that.’ Bella swept a hand across her damp forehead. ‘I’m going to have to get changed as soon as I can find Celestine. I don’t suppose you know where she went?’
‘Funny you should say that – I’ve been wondering the same.’
‘I wish she had a phone.’
‘She’s got a phone,’ Dolly said.
‘A mobile.’
‘What would she want one of those for at her age?’
Bella shook her head with a wry smile. ‘I’m sure she doesn’t care either way, but it would make life a lot easier for me.’
‘I expect she’ll turn up. I’ll have a look for her if you like.’
‘If it’s no trouble.’
‘Not a bit. I’ll tell her you’re looking if I see her.’
Bella was about to make some kind of plan for a meeting spot if Dolly did happen to see Celestine, but Dolly was already on her way. Bella called her back, but the old lady didn’t hear and disappeared into the crowds with surprising speed.
‘Boo!’
She turned around to see Rory behind her and forced a brief smile.
‘Oh…’ he added, ‘I was hoping for a bit more enthusiasm. Something wrong?’
‘No…actually I’m not sure. I don’t think so. Dolly says not, but…’
‘You’re not convinced? Anything I can do to help?’
‘I don’t think so. I can’t find Celestine.’
‘Oh, OK…’ Rory looked confused. ‘You want me to look for her?’
‘I should probably go and find her,’ she continued. ‘I’m sure she’s fine, but I’ll be happier once I know that.’
‘I’ll come.’
‘Honestly, there’s no point. I won’t be long. Where will you be? We’ll come back to you as soon as I’ve got her.’
‘Should I wait by the fish and chip van? I’m starving, so I might get something to eat while I wait. Unless you want me to hang on for you…’
‘Don’t do that; I’m not sure how long I’ll be. If you get sick of waiting and want to move on, just text and let me know.’
‘OK…’ He paused, shielding his eyes for a moment as he stared intently at a spot along the promenade. ‘I’m not sure, but I think I might have just seen your great-aunt.’
‘Really?’ Bella spun round to see where he was looking. For a moment, she couldn’t figure out whether he had seen Celestine or not, but then she noticed a slender figure with short white hair, partially obscured by the crowds. ‘Yes, I think that’s her. Thank goodness. Was she there the whole time? Talk about the wood for the trees!’
‘Well, if it makes you feel better, I didn’t see her either.’
‘I’d best go and see if she’s all right.’
‘I may as well come with you.’
As they made their way over, she felt his hand close around hers for the briefest second and then move away again. Had he been about to take it? Had it been an unconscious action that he’d realised as quickly as he’d made it? It had been unasked for, but there was a pang of disappointment in her that he’d let go.
‘It’s busy!’ she called in an effort to gloss over the situation in case he was embarrassed by it.
‘It is.’
‘A miracle you spotted Celestine at all in this lot!’
‘There are some situations where height is useful,’ he said with a smile, his eyes fixed on the spot beyond the crowds where he’d presumably seen Celestine. Bella had lost sight of her again now that they were in the thick of it.
A minute later, they were through the worst of it and closer to the beach. It was then that Bella saw Celestine leaning on her crutches and looking out to sea.
‘There she is,’ Rory said, nodding.
‘Thank goodness.’
‘You worry a lot about her,’ he said.
Bella nodded. ‘She’s old and she’s not as well as she likes everyone to believe. I don’t think so anyway. I think she pushes herself when I’m looking her way and the minute my back’s turned she sags with exhaustion. I’d never say it to her, though. God, she’d be mortified.’
‘I suppose that will be all of us one day.’
‘That’s a cheery thought.’
‘Sorry!’ He gave a rueful smile. ‘I didn’t mean to bring down the mood – don’t listen to my daft comments.’
‘I don’t think they’re daft. I think they’re insightful…I just choose not to think about it because if I did, I’d probably lock myself away in a dark room and never come out again.’
He gave a warm laugh. ‘And I thought I was the melodramatic one!’
‘I can give anyone a run for their money where melodrama is concerned. My whole life for the last fifteen years has been a bloody melodrama!’
As they drew closer, Bella could see that Celestine seemed pensive as she stared out to sea. And when Bella called her name and she turned around, for a moment Bella was blindsided by the notion that her aunt had been crying. It had been a mistake to bring Rory over – Bella suddenly realised that. Given why they were all here today, of course she’d be feeling emotional. How stupid of Bella not to think of that. But she hadn’t, and Rory was here, and it was too late to do anything about it. She pushed a bright smile across her face and determined that the best course of action was to pretend she hadn’t noticed anything amiss.
‘Here you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! I’m going to have to get you a collar with a bell on it, aren’t I?’
To Bella’s relief, Celestine smiled, and it seemed like a genuine one. ‘Were you worried? You needn’t have worried on my account. I suppose it’s nice, though. It’s a long time since I’ve had anyone worry about me.’
Bella could have said she’d been worrying about her since she’d arrived on Jersey, but it didn’t seem like it would help, so she didn’t.
‘I only meant…if you were tired or you wanted to go home, you might be stuck trying to find me. You’re all right? Just taking a breather here, or do you?—’
Celestine shook her head. ‘I’m absolutely fine.’ She glanced at Rory. ‘I’m not going to take you away from the celebrations so early anyway.’
‘But if you needed to?—’
‘I could find a cab.’
‘Not today, you couldn’t,’ Rory cut in. ‘I’ve seen the taxi rank – there’s a huge queue.’
Celestine gave a brief nod. ‘I’m sure I wouldn’t have to wait too long anyway, but I won’t be leaving just yet. I have plans of my own.’
‘What are you planning to do?’ Bella asked.
‘I’m meeting a few people.’
‘Oh…well, if you change your mind…’
‘Did you enjoy the parade?’ Celestine asked, shifting awkwardly on her crutches. Bella tried not to frown as she watched her.
‘Yes. I felt a bit daft at first, but then…Should we go and find a bench to sit down? You don’t look very comfortable on that ankle.’
Rory pointed. ‘There’s one over there. Shall I jog over to make sure nobody takes it?’
‘I’m sure if someone did they’d let us have it when we got there,’ Bella said. She looked at her aunt. ‘Come on. Even if you don’t need to sit down, I do – my feet are boiling in these shoes and I could do with taking them off for a minute.’
‘Are you going to go back and get changed?’ Celestine asked as she allowed Rory to lead them to the bench.
‘I was, but if there’s a huge queue for the taxis, then maybe I won’t bother. I mean, I know it’s not so far to walk if I really wanted to, but by the time I’ve got to Villa Rosa, changed and come back out again, half the evening events will be over.’
Celestine looked up at Rory. ‘This one has been wanting a spot on that parade since I don’t know when.’
‘So I hear,’ Rory said, aiming one of his trademark smiles at Celestine. If she wasn’t feeling like the sun had just come from behind a cloud to warm her, as Bella did every time he gave her one of those, then there had to be something wrong with her.
‘Well, I’ve done it now,’ Bella said. ‘That’s another tick on the bucket list.’
Rory used the corner of his shirt to wipe over the bench so that Celestine could sit, while Bella helped her down and then took her crutches for safekeeping.
‘Bucket list?’ Celestine asked as she settled, a look of relief on her face.
‘You know.’ Bella took a seat next to her. ‘Things to do before you die.’
‘Oh.’ Celestine smiled vaguely as Rory sat next to Bella.
Bella was silent as she kicked off her shoes, grateful for the sea air cooling her feet, waiting for something more, but when there was nothing, she glanced at Celestine to see her staring out to sea again with a faint but melancholy smile. It looked as if there would be nothing less cryptic than that for now. Maybe later, once Rory had left them, she might get more out of her.
‘So who are you meeting later?’ she asked after a pause.
‘A few of us from the bus were going to get together.’
‘Is Dolly going to be there?’
‘I expect so.’
‘So what are you all going to do? Roam around the streets in a big gang terrorising teenagers?’
Celestine chuckled softly. ‘We’re going to the pub, actually.’ Her chuckle grew louder as she saw the look on Rory’s face. ‘Yes, we do go to the pub on occasion, even at this old age. I’m sure I’ll only have a lemonade shandy or two, so you needn’t worry.’
‘Good,’ Bella said. ‘I don’t want you committing drunken antisocial behaviour all over the island.’
‘I’m more likely to fall off my crutches than do anything else. I think you can trust me to behave.’ She paused.‘Dolly, not so much…’
Bella poked her feet back into her shoes. ‘Now that I can believe. I bet she’s always been the loose cannon in your little gang.’
Celestine’s smile suddenly slipped, and she seemed pensive again. ‘I suppose you have plans too?’ she asked, looking at Bella and Rory in turn, as if she had no doubts that plans for Bella included him.
‘We thought we might hang around to see what the live music later on is like. I think there’s fireworks too, isn’t there?’
‘Yes. About 10 p.m. I’m sure I won’t still be up then.’
‘I can always come home with you if?—’
‘I’ve taken myself home for the past however many years, so I’m quite sure I can take myself home this year too.’
‘Only—’ Bella began to protest, but Celestine gave her head a firm shake.
‘I’m not going to make you cut your night short. I can make my own way back, and I’m sure I won’t have to – I expect someone at the pub will want to make sure I get home safely when I’m ready to go.’
‘I know, but I’d rather be home too.’
‘It’s kind of you to think of me, but I’d rather you didn’t. You don’t want your time in Jersey to be nothing but work, do you?’
‘You’re not work.’
‘I’m sure sometimes I am. Off you go. The entertainment will be starting, and you’ll miss it. I’ll be just fine here.’
‘Are you certain you’re going to be all right?’
Celestine huffed. It was good-natured enough, but Bella detected the tiniest hint of impatience. On reflection, perhaps she didn’t welcome being babied by the great-niece who hadn’t been to visit in years.
‘OK. As long as you promise to call me if you change your mind.’
‘I don’t know how I’m meant to do that.’
‘You can just…oh, yeah, no phone. Let me write down my number on…Rory, do you have a pen on you?’
He shook his head. ‘Sorry, not on me.’
Bella turned to Celestine to ask the same question, but she simply shook her head.
‘Before you ask, I don’t have a pen either. Stop fussing! I’ll be fine. I’ll see you at home later, and if I’m in bed when you get back, then I’ll see you in the morning. Now go and have a good time, this instant!’
Bella kissed her aunt on the cheek and then stood up. ‘Sorry. I’m being annoying, I know. I only want to look after you as you’ve looked after me since I got here.’
‘I haven’t done anything.’
‘I don’t think you can ever have any idea of just how much you’ve done. I haven’t felt this free and happy in years, and it’s all down to staying here with you.’
Celestine gave her a broad smile and then nodded for them to leave. ‘Never mind all that. Go and have some fun.’