Chapter Eighteen
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
When Bella went down for breakfast the following morning, Celestine was already at the kitchen table. She looked up from a newspaper spread in front of her.
‘Haven’t you slept?’
Bella dropped into a chair. ‘It wasn’t the most restful night I’ve ever had.’
‘Fretting?’
‘Trying to work out why I’m such a magnet for arseholes.’
Celestine’s tongue clicked against the roof of her mouth. ‘It’s not you; it’s them.’
‘That doesn’t help me feel better, I’m afraid. Is your friend Kelvin married? He seems nice. Nice and reliable.’
Celestine gave her a look of sympathy. ‘I’m afraid he is. He’s also about twenty years too old for you.’
‘It’s no problem for Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, is it?’
‘Who?’
‘Never mind.’ Bella put a hand to the teapot.
‘I’ve only just filled it,’ Celestine said.
Bella went to get a cup. ‘What time did you get up?’
‘About an hour ago.’
‘Don’t you ever stay in bed?’
‘When you’ve got up early almost every day of your life, it’s hard to stop doing it.’
‘I wouldn’t need much encouragement to stop doing it.’ Bella poured some tea from the pot.
‘According to the paper, there’s an international food market on in St Helier at the weekend. Cooking demonstrations and such. I’m not sure if it’s your sort of thing, but it might be a welcome distraction from…’
‘My messed-up life?’ Bella sipped at her tea. ‘Actually, that sounds nice. Chilled. I could do with a bit of that. Do you want to go?’
Celestine put down her own cup. ‘I’ve got such a lot to do here, and?—’
‘Those things will wait, won’t they? Come on! We’ve never had a proper day out like this before, just you and me. Not that I can recall. Please? I’d love to have some company.’
Celestine paused. ‘I suppose I haven’t been to St Helier for ages,’ she said slowly. Then she smiled at Bella. ‘You’ve persuaded me. But what about getting my scooter on the bus? It will be difficult?—’
‘I’m sure there’s a taxi service with a car that can fit us in. Come to think of it…I might still have a business card for the driver who brought me here from the airport. His car looked big enough to get your scooter in. He was lovely too, very friendly.’ Bella drank down her tea and got up from the table to drop some bread in the toaster. ‘So that’s a date then.’
‘What are you going to do about your man?’ Celestine asked after a pause.
‘Nothing. He’s not my man.’
‘Have you thought more about telling him what you know about Klaus?’
‘I feel I ought to, but I don’t want to talk to him. I suppose I could message, but, quite honestly, I don’t much feel like doing that either. He certainly doesn’t deserve it.’
‘It’s not like you to be so vindictive.’
‘That’s probably where I’ve been going wrong then. It’s probably why every man thinks they can walk all over me. I ought to try being more vindictive – seems to work for everyone else.’
‘That’s not like you either.’
‘It is. This is the new me. I’m going to be a total cow and see if I can’t get on better in life that way. And don’t give me any of that “it makes me as bad as them” stuff. I know it does, and I don’t care.’
‘I wasn’t going to say anything of the sort.’ Celestine reached for her teacup. ‘I wouldn’t dare, the mood you’re in.’
‘I’m not in a mood with you.’
‘Nevertheless…’
Bella let out a long breath. ‘I’m sorry – you’re right. I shouldn’t be taking this out on you.’
‘I didn’t say?—’
‘You didn’t, but I probably am. It’s not like you don’t have your own worries too. You’ve had a tough few days as well.’
‘Mine are resolved, at least.’
Bella’s toast popped up, and she took it from the toaster. ‘You really think that?’
‘Yes. I suppose I’ll still think about what happened, but I’ve made my peace with Violette, and that’s all I can hope for.’
Bella took her breakfast to the table. ‘I don’t think you have a clue how brave you are. I wish I could be more like you.’
‘It’s funny that you recognise bravery in me – who thinks she doesn’t have any – and yet you don’t see it in yourself where I see it plainly. You’ve been through a lot.’
‘Self-inflicted, for my stupidity, as far as I can tell. It’s hardly the same.’
‘You weren’t stupid – you were in love. As we all know, love can make us do strange things – not all of them sensible. Just ask Violette.’
‘Are we talking about Sean or Rory now?’
‘Both?’
‘Maybe,’ Bella admitted. ‘Still, you’d think after falling for it once, I’d know better the second time around.’
‘From what you tell me, it wasn’t your fault on either occasion.’
Bella spread some butter onto her toast and pondered Celestine’s words. They were meant to make her feel better, to make her feel less of a fool, but they didn’t.
Bella hauled the bucket of pink and white carnations onto the pavement outside Bay Blooms and arranged them to look their most enticing.
‘I can’t help but see carnations as a bit boring,’ she said.
Celestine raised her eyebrows. ‘What’s wrong with carnations? They’re one of our best sellers.’
‘I know, but they always strike me as…I don’t know.’ Bella rested her hands on her hips and studied the bucket. ‘I mean, they’re pleasant enough. But they’re like for buttonholes and old ladies and funeral flowers and bits of more exciting bouquets, aren’t they?’
‘Well, I’m sorry you find the carnations so dull. I’ll have a word with the suppliers to see if they can’t throw some glitter or something over the next delivery, just to liven them up for you.’
Bella turned to her with a grin, one which Celestine returned. It was good to see her looking happier. The visit to Violette had done more good than either of them had realised at first – the evidence was right there.
‘They can put googly eyes on the gerbera too. I always think they look like little faces anyway.’
Celestine shook her head, still smiling. ‘What am I to do with you?’
‘It’s a question that’s been asked before. I wish I knew the answer. Shall I unbox the stocks and put them out too?’
‘Yes, please. I’ve got some bouquets to make up with my boring carnations.’
‘Right,’ Bella said, her grin spreading. Despite everything, as soon as she’d stepped onto the promenade that morning and set eyes on the golden sand, the aqua sea mirrored in a clear blue sky, she’d felt better. Happy, in fact. Nobody could be unhappy in such a place, she decided. It was just a shame she’d have to leave soon.
‘Good morning!’
Bella looked up from unwrapping the next box of flowers to see Bernard from the Liberation Day committee at the stall.
‘Oh, hello.’
‘Bernard…’ Celestine said with more wariness. ‘How can I help you?’
Bella could just imagine what was going through Celestine’s mind and it made her want to laugh. She was no fan of Busybody Bernard, as she called him, though Bella had found him nothing but sweet – if a little officious.
‘I only stopped on my way past to thank you for the marvellous displays you made this year. Wasn’t the day a triumph?’ He turned to Bella. ‘Did you enjoy it?’
‘I did,’ Bella replied, suddenly caught by conflicting feelings about the day that Bernard was feeling so happy about. Of course she was proud of her role and of the island that was quickly beginning to feel more like home than anywhere she’d been before, but it was tempered by thoughts of Rory, of the magical evening they’d shared, only for everything to have soured less than twenty-four hours later. That evening had seemed like fate, like it was written in the stars that they should meet, but now it felt like a test – one she’d failed miserably.
‘I’m glad to hear it,’ Bernard said. ‘We’re already starting to plan next year’s event – have to keep on top of these things, you know. I take it we can count on your support again.’
‘I might not be here next year,’ Bella said.
‘That makes two of us,’ Celestine cut in crisply, and both Bella and Bernard turned to her. ‘I’m only being practical,’ Celestine insisted. ‘Every day is borrowed time when you get to my age.’
‘Rot’ Bernard smiled. ‘You’ll be here.’
‘Perhaps.’
Bernard tipped his cap to both women and then continued down the promenade.
‘I dare say I’ll have to break the news to him sooner rather than later,’ Celestine mused as they watched him go.
‘What news?’ Bella asked.
‘That I won’t be doing his displays next year.’
Bella turned sharply to her. ‘What? But you always?—’
Celestine shook her head. ‘It wiped me out, Bella. I don’t think I can do it again. I’m an old lady, and everyone seems to forget that.’
‘It’s because you don’t seem old. Look at you today – working here on the stall again like someone forty years younger.’
‘Perhaps it’s time I admitted I can’t do it any longer. It’s fine with you here, but when you’ve gone back to Shrewsbury, I might have to face the fact I can’t run the stall alone. I might have to close it.’
‘No! If it means you closing, then I’ll stay!’
‘As you reminded me, it might not be that simple. There are rules about living on Jersey?—’
‘I know, and we’ll work out how to get around them. Celestine, you can’t close Bay Blooms! It means so much to you – to everyone in St Rosa.’
Celestine nodded slowly. ‘It’s kind of you to say so, but all good things come to an end, don’t they? Isn’t that the way of life?’
Celestine went back to her arrangements, leaving Bella to ponder what she’d said. Yes, of course, Celestine would get tired far more easily these days, but she never imagined for a moment that her great-aunt would throw in the towel. Perhaps it was silly to have viewed it that way. Most people would have retired decades before, and it was a miracle Celestine was still able to turn up every day and open this place. The work wasn’t particularly hard for Bella, but she supposed it would be for someone in their nineties, no matter how remarkable that person was.
‘I’ll do some research and we’ll talk about it later,’ she said after a moment. Celestine looked up from the bouquet she was constructing with a vague smile.
‘All right then. We’ll talk over supper, but I do feel my mind is made up.’
Trade came in steady trickles or nothing at all, but it was a sunny day and most people in St Rosa were more concerned with the beach than with buying flowers. Celestine sat outside the stall on a chair and soaked it up while Bella held the fort. At one point, Bella noticed her head loll to one side and had to wake her. Poor Celestine seemed embarrassed, though Bella reminded her there was no need, because it was hot and even she felt like taking a nap. Halfway through the morning, Celestine trundled off on her scooter and came back with ice lollies, and they sat side by side on the pavement outside the stall and sucked at them lazily as they watched holidaymakers enjoy the sea.
‘I wouldn’t mind a dip right now,’ Bella said.
‘Go on over if you fancy it. I can look after this place.’
‘Not now. I don’t have my costume for a start.’
‘Hitch up your dress and paddle.’
Bella grinned. ‘That does sound nice. Maybe I’ll go over at lunchtime and dip my toes in. Fancy coming with me?’
‘What about the stall?’
‘We’ve been quiet enough. If we close it for half an hour, I can’t see what difference it will make. Come on – it’ll be fun.’
Celestine pointed to her foot, still bandaged. ‘I think you’re forgetting something.’
Bella laughed lightly. ‘OK. Just dip one foot in.’
‘Hmmm.’ Celestine shoved her ice lolly into her mouth.
‘I’ll bring a bucket of seawater over and you can dunk your one good foot in it here. How’s that sound?’
‘Now you’re just being silly.’
‘Hang on!’
Bella crammed the last of her lolly into her mouth and then went to the stall. She took two unused buckets from storage and ran across to the beach, laughing. At the edge of the sand, she slipped off her shoes and then raced across it. It was hot but soft, whipping over her feet as she went. As she reached the water’s edge, she let the waves wash over them while filling each bucket and then hurried back to Bay Blooms.
‘You’re mad!’ Celestine said as a panting Bella placed the two buckets down in front of their chairs.
Bella dunked her feet into one of them with a contented sigh. ‘Go on – get in there. You don’t know what you’re missing!’
‘But—’
‘You know what they say: if you can’t go to the sea, then let the sea come to you.’
‘I don’t think they do say that.’ Celestine laughed, but she slipped off the sandal on her one good foot and plonked it into the bucket anyway.
‘See!’ Bella grinned. ‘Isn’t that lovely?’
‘It is a bit,’ Celestine admitted. And then they fell to contented silence for a moment as they both looked out over the packed beach, enjoying the sounds of children playing and gulls squealing overhead.
‘I love it here,’ Bella said finally. She turned to Celestine. ‘And I love you. I don’t think I’ve ever said it – at least I don’t remember – but it’s true. Thank you for everything. I didn’t know what to expect, and I still don’t know what the future holds back home, but I’ve had the most amazing time with you, and I’ll always be grateful for it.’
Celestine’s eyes misted with tears. ‘I love you too,’ she sniffed. ‘And I’ve loved having you here with me. I wish you didn’t have to leave.’
‘If I can find a way around it, I will,’ Bella said.
From the stall, Bella heard her phone ringing. For a brief second, she considered ignoring it, but curiosity got the better of her. But by the time she’d got her feet out of the water and dried them enough to go inside, whoever had wanted her had rung off. She didn’t recognise the number on the call log and wasn’t sure whether that made missing it better or worse. She hadn’t forgotten that her separation from Sean still hung over her and wondered if it might be something to do with him.
As she went to put the phone back in her bag, a text message came through from the same unrecognised number.
Hello, Bella, this is Lisa. Could we meet?
Bella frowned. It seemed the most stupid idea she’d ever had to say yes, but she wanted to. She didn’t even know why. Perhaps she felt she owed that much to Rory’s wife, who’d been taken in just as she had. But what if Lisa meant her ill? Perhaps Bella deserved that too for not giving enough consideration to Rory’s circumstances. The truth was she’d been so dazzled by him, so close to falling in love, that she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge there might be complications.
Where and when?
I’m flying home this evening so before then if possible. I’m free this afternoon if it helps.
Bella tapped out a reply. She did owe Lisa this much.
I’m due for a lunch break in the next hour or so. Can you come to Bay Blooms on the promenade and I’ll meet you there?
Lisa arrived as Bella had asked. Her eyes were puffy and she was pale, and her exhausted appearance was strangely at odds with her bright sundress. Bella’s heart went out to her. It must have taken guts to come here, whatever the reason.
Bella ushered her away from the stall as soon as she clapped eyes on her.
‘Do you mind walking?’ she asked. ‘Only…’
‘You don’t want your great-aunt to overhear?’ Lisa said. She smiled ruefully at Bella’s look of surprise. ‘Rory told me. Of course we can walk, if you like. I won’t take up much of your time.’
‘What else did Rory tell you?’ Bella asked as they headed away from the stall, her pulse suddenly loud in her ears.
‘He filled me in last night after we saw you. Don’t worry – he didn’t give me details, but he did say he’d been spending time with you here. He told me he’d fallen for you.’
‘Oh God,’ Bella replied weakly. ‘Lisa, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he was?—’
‘I believe you. I’m sure it’s not your fault.’
‘Now I know he’s married, I swear it’s going to go no further. I know what it’s like – trust me.’
‘He told me you’d just come out of a bad marriage too.’
Bella halted on the road and stared at her. Just how much had Rory told her? And why tell her so much?
‘Do you mind if we sit down?’ Lisa pointed to a vacant bench overlooking the beach. She began to make her way over without Bella’s reply. ‘I shouldn’t have come to Jersey,’ she added as she took a seat.
Bella perched next to her. ‘I’m sorry you had to find out about Rory and me the way you did.’
‘In a way, you’ve done me a favour. I didn’t believe it, you see.’
‘Didn’t believe what?’
‘When Rory told me he wanted to leave me a few weeks ago. I thought he must be going through a phase, that he was only a bit fed up. And there was so much else going on with his grandfather and all this family business, I thought he just needed to get it out of his system and then we’d be fine again. Even when he moved out, I thought he’d come back eventually. That’s why I came over to Jersey. I thought I’d surprise him and we’d have such a nice time here he’d soften and he’d realised he still loved me. So I jumped on a flight and here I am. Stupid, eh? It backfired on me. We had a long talk after we left you last night, and I see now he was never going to come back to me.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘So if you and he want to…well, I wish you the best. I won’t hold a grudge.’
‘I don’t want to be with him,’ Bella said firmly. ‘Not now. He lied to me. He lied to both of us – I can’t forgive that. He could have told me about you, but he didn’t.’
‘I suppose he thought he would eventually.’
‘He said that, but he should have done it in the beginning. He should have told you about me too – he didn’t and?—’
‘It made me look like a fool coming here.’
‘No, you don’t look like a fool. He looks like a coward.’
‘He said you told him that on the phone.’
‘I wasn’t wrong, was I?’
‘He’s like that, you know. Not a coward, but he hates to cause anyone pain. It’s why I…well, it’s one of the things I loved best about him. I expect that’s why he didn’t tell me. He said he would have told me later, once we’d started the divorce. He said he hadn’t intended to fall for someone else so quickly and he didn’t want to upset me.’
‘That worked out brilliantly for him,’ Bella said in a wry tone. ‘You’re not here to plead his case, are you?’
‘I wanted to let you know that I don’t blame you.’
‘Neither do I. I blame him.’
‘He’s not a bad person, you know. He made a mess of things, but I know he didn’t mean to.’
Bella nodded slowly. ‘I don’t know how you can be so forgiving. Do you still love him?’
‘Yes. I suppose I’ll get over it. There’s no use in being in love with him when he doesn’t love me, is there?’
‘I’m sure it’s not as simple as all that.’
‘Do you love him?’ Lisa asked after a pause.
‘I don’t know what I’m meant to say to that. I mean, to you of all people.’
‘I suppose not. I don’t know why I asked.’
‘I don’t mind that you asked; I just don’t know how to answer.’
‘I understand.’ Lisa paused. ‘Do you think you’ll carry on seeing him?’
Bella shook her head. ‘I don’t think I can. Not after all this. I’ll message him to tell him what I’ve found out about his great-grandfather, but after that I think it’s best left alone.’
‘What did you find out?’
‘That love doesn’t follow the rules,’ Bella said, throwing Lisa a sideways look. ‘Something you and I know only too well.’