Chapter Twenty-Three
Lexi
I couldn’t stop glancing down at the time on my phone. Tucker had been longer than I thought.
I had spent an extra thirty minutes getting out a few more emails before I left, and I figured he’d be right behind me with how urgent he seemed.
A nock raps at my door and I’m relieved as I see Tucker standing on the other side of the glass.
“I thought you changed your mind.”
“Not a damn chance. When I showed up at your brother’s, Tom was there. We packed both rigs with everything Brielle could fit in both of them. Baby needed a lot of shit.”
“Yeah, well she’s nervous.”
“Then, I had to help unpack everything at your parents.”
“Did you tell my parents you’re staying tonight? The Benson Villa might be full. “
“What about this Benson Villa? Is she open tonight?” He can’t hold back. His smile spreads wide over his face.
“I don’t know. What’s in it for me?”
“I drove four hours, risking life and limb to stay here with you through the storm. Least you could do is let me stay here and feed you.”
“Feed me?”
“Yeah, I brought groceries.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course, you did. Can’t trust I have a stocked fridge, can you?”
“Not if the past is any indication. I need a lot to keep my muscles looking this fucking irresistible. And who knows how long this storm is going to last or if we get snowed in.” He looks me over from bottom to top. “God, I hope we get snowed in.” I give him a light push to his shoulder as he walks back out to the rented SUV to get his things.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” I yell out of the open door, even though my nipples have already peaked at the idea of what tonight might bring.
He turns, and throws up his hands into the sky like a giant Y.
“Blizzards make people do crazy things, Lex,” he yells. “And you and I are going to do some crazy things!” he yells even louder. He’s trying to embarrass me in front of my neighbors. But lucky for me, I work too many hours a week. I barely see them, anyway.
After Tucker, expertly, might I add, makes us Filet Mignon with garlic butter smashed potatoes, green beans with bacon cooked in truffle oil, and flaky from-the-can biscuits, we settle down on the couch.
I cleaned as he cooked so at the end, we only had to load a couple of dishes in the dishwasher. A technique my mom instilled in us when we all started helping her in the kitchen.
Cooking in the kitchen tonight with him brought up good memories of all of us preparing dinner at my parents when we were younger. The days before pro sports and meeting deadlines.
Domesticated Tucker might be the sexiest one of all.
Tucker fills my glass of wine and brings it out to me, along with a slice of cheesecake I didn’t realize he had also bought at the store. He hands me the one plate with one fork… sly move. I’ve smiled at his blatant attempts since the second he walked in my door.
Attempts I hope he keeps up with. But tonight, we have a lot to discuss before we can let the physical take over. We already know how compatible we are in the bedroom.
He asked me to claim him as mine this afternoon and this is the first time that I feel like I truly can.
He said he’s been mine all these years and looking back over our history, the same thing feels true for me. I pushed him away too many time to count but I’ve never felt like I belonged to anyone like I belong to Tucker.
So, how do we manage the day to day? He offered to retire, but I’d never let him do that. I love him too much to do that.
Oh my God!
I love him.
I do though, don’t I? Is it really all that surprising?
He moves to the fireplace and begins his Eagle Scout routine that he swears builds the best fire, and I watch his body as each muscle tightens and flexes while he assembles kindling and logs to create his masterpiece of destruction.
“So, honestly though…can I stay here tonight?” he smiles from the fireplace as he lights the perfectly architected house of fire.
“The cheesecake was a step in the right direction,” I tease with a flirty smile. “Let’s see how the rest of the night goes, shall we? Or you could go stay in that massive house you bought.”
“The things a demolition zone. I could step on a rusty nail. You would want me to die would you?” he jokes as he walks back to the couch and sits as close as he can, brushing his massive thigh against mine. The man is a power house and my body remembers how good it gives.
“Hmmm…” I look him up and down, debating. “…not yet,” I say and then quickly turn my sights to my cheesecake, as if I can’t be bothered with the delectable man sitting right next to me on the couch.
“Not yet? You have plans for me, Lexi? I’d love to hear ‘em,” he says, softly putting his fingers around mine and pulling the fork out of my hand, slicing off a piece a cheesecake from the plate and then slowly licking it off the fork.
“That’s supposed to be my move,” I say.
He laughs and it sounds so good.
“Don’t worry, I’ll let you lick my fork if you want.” He hands the fork back and drapes his arm over the back of the couch behind me.
“How considerate of you.”
Of course, on cue, the universe knows how to screw with me as a large howling wind rattles trash cans and windows outside. A few seconds later, the power goes out causing a small yip out of me.
Tucker places a hand on my thigh to calm me in the dark. Luckily, the fire he built lights up most of the living room and part of the kitchen.
“Do you have flashlights?”
“Yeah, on the top shelf in the pantry,” I say as he gets up in search of them.
“Do you have a fireplace in your bedroom?” He asks as he makes his way to the pantry.
“No, it’s just for show. They closed off the chimney and I’ve been planning to have it opened again but I’ve been a little too preoccupied with someone else’s project.”
I playfully huff.
“Don’t worry. All your efforts on that house will be rewarded,” he smiles. “We’ll have to sleep down here then.”
“We?”
“I’m not leaving you alone in a house without electricity and in a fucking blizzard. What happens if it snows ten feet, and you’re snowed in?”
“A bit dramatic don’t you think?”
“Maybe, but I’m not missing my chance to use my body to keep you warm.”
“Anyone ever told you you’re quite the opportunist?”
“I’d say hopeless romantic.” He smirks as he takes a flashlight and heads upstairs.
He disappears to the second floor and I try to take the reprieve to get my head straight.
A few minutes later, I hear the large bang of the guest bedroom door and the sound of something being dragged. Tucker’s loud footsteps echo up the hall and the second I get sight of what he’s doing, I shake my head. Of course, he would.
“What are you planning on doing with the guest bedroom mattress?”
“We’re sleeping on it tonight,” he informs as he pulls the queen mattress around the couch and lays it out in front of the fireplace.
“You should have grabbed my bed. It’s a king.”
“It’s too big. I would have opted for a twin, but you don’t have any up there.”
“You want to sleep on a twin? You’re the size of a small elephant.”
“Ouch, Lex.” He shakes his head. “I have fond memories of us on a twin.” His eyes find mine and memories of the lake house fill my mind. All the things we did those few days together. The things he taught me – the things we learned together – giving him my first time. I have never regretted giving that to him. Not then and not now. Not even with how things have gone down since.
He walks back upstairs and comes down with blankets and pillows. “Why don’t you get ready for bed. I’ll get everything ready down here.”
I do as he suggests and although it’s freezing upstairs, I take my time getting ready. Not just physically but also mentally.
We still have to discuss what happens after tonight.
I walk back down the stairs, bundled up from head to toe, toothbrush in hand. I walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water, since we have no running water.
Tucker grabs his toothbrush out of his bag and meets me at the sink to share the water. We stand there, side by side and staring at each other while we brush our teeth, no words exchanged, no light besides the flicker of the fire bouncing off the walls.
Now that I’ve warmed up, I take off the parka I was wearing and crawl into the makeshift bedroom he has all set up for us in a pair of thin cotton baby pink pajama pants, a thin camisole, and the bra I was wearing since this morning. I sit facing the fire. I have to admit, the bed he made for us is cozy. With a little staging, this scene is Pinterest worthy.
He walks to the front of the fireplace and pulls off his jeans. I’m not sure how a man with glutes and an ass like that finds a pair of jeans that fit.
He walks back over to his side of the bed in a pair of boxers and t-shirt and climbs into bed facing the fire as well, his long legs reaching out the length of the mattress as he crosses his ankles.
“Want to play a game?” Tucker suggests.
“A game?”
Better than the nerve-racking conversation we need to have, I suppose.
“Yeah, Truth or Dare?”
“Ok.”
“Truth or Dare, Lex.”
“Truth.”
He takes a swig of his beer. “How did you feel when you heard I bought the McKinny house?”
“At first, I was jealous.”
“Really? Jealous why?”
“I’ve always wanted that house. Since high school I imagined…”
He turns to me, intent on every work I say next. “Imagined what?”
“That I would have a future in that house. That it would be me cooking in that kitchen. Me doing the laundry in the second story laundry room. Me bringing home our first baby…”
“ Our first baby?” he asks.
I don’t correct my slip up… because it’s not a mistake. And with everything he admitted in my office earlier, it’s time we both came clean.
He puts both of his hands on my hips and hauls my body up over his, settling me in his lap.
“Tucker…” I say in warning. Mostly because I can’t trust myself.
“I need you closer.”
I give in.
“Truth or Dare?” I ask.
“Truth.”
“Why didn’t you stay that night after college admissions.”
“I wanted to Lex. I came to tell you that I wanted to be with you and that we could make it work when I went to college. There is nothing more that I wanted then to take you upstairs and spend the night inside you… but I just couldn’t.” He takes my hands in his and watches as I grip them back. “I came to you that night because my nightmares were getting worse. I wanted to stay the night with you because I knew my dreams wouldn’t come if you were in my arms. I had to know you were ok when I woke up from one, seeing you… feeling you breathing.”
“The dreams… of your mother?”
“No, of you.”
I shake my head. I can’t think of why I would bring him nightmares.
“I used to have nightmares about my mother’s death. The image of her casket getting lowered – of the handfuls of dirt people tossed in with her… it’s a weird tradition.” He shakes out the thought.
“But then after you almost died in my arms, the nightmares about my mother became nightmares about you. All the same things played out the way they did on that dock. Except I couldn’t revive you. I couldn’t bring you back. You died in my arms and there was nothing I could do about it.” Tucker’s eyes start to redden, and he looks like a beaten man. He hangs his head and I instinctively push up on my knees and wrap my arms around his shoulders. He watches every move I make. His hands gliding around my hips. His grip is demanding; it’s hard to deny him when being in his hands comforts us both.
“Do you still have them? How long has this been going on for?”
“I started having them a week after the accident. I’ve had them ever since, but the frequency has increased. I have them a few nights a month.”
“You have the same recurring nightmare a few times a month? Is there anything that helps? Maybe a sleeping aid or a warm bath before bed?”
“Yeah, there is one thing that helps. You, sleeping in my arms. I don’t have the nightmares when I’m holding you.” He pulls me closer to him, his eyes seeing the tears welling in mine. His fingers soothe my back as he sees how much this is hitting me. “Truth or Dare, Lex.” I can’t handle any more truths.
“Dare,” I say, hoping to get a break from this confessional.
“Let me keep you after tonight.”
I nod. There’s nothing I want more than to be with by this man.