5. Embry
5
Embry
Around noon on Friday, Bryson arrived at the Pink Victorian to take us to the airport. First though, there was the prenuptial agreement to sign. I invited him in, and he looked around curiously as we went into the living room and took a seat.
“I can see why you like living here,” he said. There was nothing fancy about this place, but it was warm and welcoming. I thought it was nice that he could appreciate it.
JoJo and Vee joined us, sitting side-by-side so they could read one of the thin packets of papers while I read the other. When they finished, JoJo took off her red-framed reading glasses and said, “I’m not a lawyer, obviously, but this all seems pretty standard.”
“It basically says if your marriage ends in divorce or annulment, you’re not entitled to any of his shit and he’s not entitled to any of yours,” Vee told me.
I grinned a little. “Good to know my hoodie collection is safe.”
Bryson and I signed both copies, and he handed one to me. I passed it to JoJo, because what was I supposed to do with it?
Then Bryson muttered, “I’m glad that’s over.” He’d thought it was embarrassing, but I totally got it. He was going to inherit a lot of money at the end of this, and according to California’s divorce law, I’d be entitled to half as his spouse. He had to make sure I wasn’t a gold digger looking to fleece him for all he was worth.
He had one more task to take care of, and it ratcheted his embarrassment right back up again. Bryson put an envelope on the coffee table and said, “That’s your stipend for December, in cash.”
Vee picked up the envelope and counted the money before announcing, “A thousand bucks. Nice. Bonus points for not prorating it, even though it’s already the sixth.”
Bryson looked mildly offended. “Of course not. I have no interest in nickel-and-diming your friend.”
I pulled out a few bills and pocketed them before handing the envelope to JoJo. “This is for the back rent I owe you, plus this month’s rent.” She and Yolanda charged me next to nothing, which had always bothered me. They had a mortgage and bills to pay, and in this housing market they could have gotten so much more for my room.
She tried to give the envelope back to me. “You should hold on to this. You mentioned you were pretty tapped out, so put this in the bank.”
I got up and said, “Please take it. I like knowing it’s taken care of.”
Everyone else got up too, and JoJo asked, “Did you keep enough for groceries?”
“I guess we never discussed it, but I intend to cover Embry’s food costs while he’s living with me,” Bryson told her. “It makes sense to cook for both of us, and to buy his groceries at the same time as mine.”
I started to tell him he didn’t need to do that, but just then, Hal hurried down the stairs with a big suitcase and called, “Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“You’re fine,” Vee told him, when he came to a breathless stop in the doorway. “We just got done signing the prenup. Now I need to go find Clementine, so I can say goodbye to him.”
As he left the living room, Bryson asked, “Who’s Clementine?”
“His parakeet.” I went into the hallway and looked around for Dusty.
Bryson seemed concerned. “Did it get out of its cage?”
“No. He has the run of the house.”
“Isn’t Vee concerned about the bird escaping out an open door?”
“If Clementine wanted to escape, he would have done it a long time ago. I’m going to find my dog, so I can say goodbye. You can come with me, if you want.”
Bryson followed me upstairs to my room, where we found Dusty curled up on my bed with the cat. I picked up the dog and kissed his head while Bryson took a look at the cluster of images on one wall. There were photos, sketches, post cards, and magazine clippings, and while a few were pictures of my friends or pretty shots of San Francisco, the rest were all decorated cakes. “That’s my inspiration wall,” I explained.
“I do that, too. There are a pair of big, magnetic boards in my home office. One’s covered with design ideas for my next restaurant, and the other has notes for new dishes and sketches of different ways to plate them.” I’d been pretty sure we had nothing in common, so it was nice to discover that similarity.
I turned my attention back to Dusty, ruffling his ears as I told him, “Pretty soon, we’re going to go on an adventure to Bryson’s house. Won’t that be fun?” He wagged his tail, and I explained, “First, I have to go away for two nights, but you’ll have your Auntie JoJo and the rest of your friends looking after you.” I gave him a hug and put him back down. Tears started to well up as I whispered, “I love you very much, and I’ll be back soon. I promise.”
Bryson asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve never left him before, and I feel guilty. His last owners dropped him off at the animal shelter because they didn’t want him anymore. What if he thinks I’m abandoning him, too?”
He really didn’t know what to do about the fact that I was getting upset, and he fidgeted awkwardly as he told me, “We don’t have to go to Las Vegas if you don’t want to. There are plenty of other ways to get married.”
“Eloping to Vegas makes sense. It’s the perfect story to tell your family. Besides, I really do want to go. I’ve never been anywhere before, outside of the fair route through California and the Pacific Northwest. I’ve never even been on a plane. Which reminds me—if I end up losing it, I apologize in advance.”
Now he looked worried. “Is that… I mean, do you think you’re…”
“I don’t know. I might love flying, or it might freak me out. I guess we’ll find out together.”
I petted Dusty and the cat, and then I glanced back at them as we left the room. They both seemed perfectly content. I knew my dog was going to be fine this weekend, but I still felt guilty.
When we got back downstairs, Vee and Hal were standing side-by-side in the foyer, looking like total fashion opposites. Hal was sleek and sophisticated in all-black, from his slim-fitting T-shirt and pants to his knee-length cardigan and stylish ankle boots. Meanwhile, Vee wore a red mesh T-shirt, pink camo cargo shorts, and flip flops. This was toned down for him. He usually wore a lot of eclectic jewelry, but he’d packed it instead, because he didn’t want to set off the metal detectors at the airport.
As I grabbed my denim jacket from the coat rack and put it on over my pink hoodie, JoJo went into full mom mode. I loved that about her. “Do you have your ID? You’ll need it at the airport, and also to get your marriage license.”
“I have it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Also, Yolanda texted me from work and wanted me to ask if you packed extra bandages and antibiotic cream.”
“I packed a whole first aid kit, but my finger is mostly healed.” I held up my index finger to show her I was down to just two regular bandages where I’d cut myself.
“Remember that Yolanda and I are your emergency contacts. We can hop on the next plane if you need us.”
“I appreciate that, but if anything happens to me in Las Vegas, I have Vee, Hal, and Bryson to help me.” Since I was accident prone, everyone expected me to maim myself, all the time. I gave her a hug and said, “I love you, JoJo. Please don’t worry.”
Just then, Clementine flew into the foyer and headed directly for my soon-to-be fake husband, who yelped and hit the deck. The bird landed on Bryson’s back and exclaimed, “What the fuck!” It was the only thing he ever said, but he had a way of timing it beautifully.
Bryson was spread-eagled face down on the floor, as if he’d dodged a sniper’s bullet. He called, “A little help here!”
Vee coaxed the bird onto his finger before relocating him to JoJo’s shoulder. “All clear,” he told Bryson, with a huge grin. “And you have nothing to be embarrassed about. One-ounce parakeets can be super scary.”
Bryson stood up slowly, never taking his eyes off Clementine as I tried to reassure him. “Scared of birds, huh? It’s okay. I have some irrational fears, too. I can’t think of any right now, but I know I have them.”
“I’m not scared of birds. That one just startled me.” He backed toward the door, still watching the parakeet, and as he fumbled for the door handle, he muttered, “I’ll meet you outside.”
He opened the door, slipped through it, and slammed it shut. Once he was gone, JoJo said, “I like that guy.”
I nodded. “I like him, too. He’s trying really hard to make sure I’m happy throughout all of this. Did I tell you he messaged me yesterday to ask where I wanted to stay this weekend?”
“What did you tell him?”
“That anyplace was fine. I don’t know a thing about hotels in Las Vegas. I’ve seen pictures of some of them, like the giant pyramid, but what if I picked one that was really expensive? I’d feel guilty if I asked for someplace that was two hundred dollars a night.” Hal started to say something and stopped himself, so I asked him, “Are they a lot more than that?”
“They can be.”
That made me sigh. “I shouldn’t have suggested Las Vegas in the first place. He probably thinks I’m trying to get as much out of him as I possibly can.”
JoJo said, “I’m sure he doesn’t think that,” and Vee and Hal agreed with her. I hoped she was right.
We gathered our things, and after saying goodbye to JoJo and Clementine, we stepped out onto the porch. There was a fancy black car double-parked in the street. When a driver in a dark suit climbed out of it, I murmured, “It’s a small limo.”
“It’s a town car,” Vee explained, as he lugged his suitcase down the stairs. I had no idea what that meant, but I didn’t ask. There was no reason to keep reminding everyone just how unsophisticated I was.
About half an hour later, we arrived at the airport. It was the busiest place I’d ever seen. Cars and taxis jockeyed for position, while people flooded in and out of the terminals through banks of sliding doors. Meanwhile, officers with shrill whistles tried to control the utter chaos.
Somehow, our driver found a spot at the curb, and everyone sprang into action. Apparently we were only allowed to stop there for an undisclosed number of seconds before the full wrath of the parking police was unleashed on us. The bags were quickly offloaded to the curb, and the driver got back behind the wheel and merged into the river of vehicles.
A woman with a metal cart heaped with luggage was coming right at me while talking on the phone, so I scurried to Bryson and grabbed his sleeve. Out of the four of us, he seemed to be the calmest and most confident, so I figured my best chance of survival was to glue myself to his side. Plus, he was as big as a tree, so it seemed unlikely that anyone would be able to flatten him with a luggage cart.
He seemed surprised when he glanced at me. But then he shifted his garment bag to his other shoulder and put his arm around me, in a gesture that felt protective. “This must seem overwhelming if you’re not used to it,” he said, “so stay close. I’ve got you.”
He really did, too. Bryson guided me through the gauntlet of activities that came next, from getting in the right line to check in and hand over our luggage to going through some weird scanners. Then it was time for a long trek through the enormous terminal. It felt like an indoor city, with shops, bars, restaurants, and hundreds of people.
At one point, we came across some long, moving people conveyor belts that I had absolutely no explanation for. Bryson started to bypass them, but I exclaimed, “Come on, we have to go for a ride!”
He probably thought I was ridiculous, but he was nice enough to change course and accompany me to the start of that contraption. Needless to say, I tripped while trying to step onto it, but I was able to grab the handrail and pull myself upright. Then I bounced up and down on the black rubber surface and pronounced it “spoingy.”
A pair of very businesslike travelers breezed past us, which gave me the idea to try speedwalking on it. I laughed as I covered the distance in double time. Then I turned and called to Bryson, “Why don’t we have these on every sidewalk? They’re so fun!”
He started rushing toward me with a concerned expression as he shouted, “Turn around, Embry!”
I spun in a circle, and he was right, that was fun. Then the conveyer belt ended, and I launched off of it and fell flat on my ass. Bryson caught up to me a few moments later and asked, “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. That was super fun, can we do it again?”
He held out his hand, and as he hauled me to my feet he said, “We should probably keep going, but there might be some more moving walkways up ahead.”
Sadly, there weren’t. After a while, we arrived at our gate and looked around for Vee and Hal. They caught up to us a minute later, and I asked, “Where were you?”
“I stopped to hit on a cute pilot because, you know, free air travel for life if he’d decided to marry me. Imagine my massive disappointment when he turned out to be straight.” Vee looked at Bryson and added, “No offense.”
This seemed to confuse Bryson, who muttered, “None taken?” It was in the form of a question, as if he was trying to figure out where the potential insult was in any of that.
We all took a seat at the window, and the view was fascinating. Two planes were parked right outside. A huge plane was coming in for a landing in the distance, and another big plane rolled by like it was out for a drive.
I was giddy with excitement—until we actually boarded the plane and were given a half-hearted safety briefing by a bored flight attendant, outlining all the ways we were probably going to die during our hour and forty-minute flight. How would we manage to crash into water and need to use our seats as floatation devices between here and the desert? I fumbled for the laminated sheet in the pocket in front of me and craned my neck to look for the nearest exits.
Before I knew it, we were barreling down the runway. I grabbed Bryson’s hand in a death grip and started to hyperventilate, and he leaned close and whispered, “You’re okay, Embry. Nothing bad is going to happen.”
“Tell that to the plane.” It seemed very rickety and not at all capable of failing to kill us all. Words started tumbling out of me as my panic rose. “This all feels like a huge mistake. Humans are land animals! We’re not made for this!”
But then, just like that, we rose up off the ground. It took my stomach a moment to catch up with me, and as soon as it did, the giddiness returned. I laughed and yelled, “I was wrong, we’re totally meant to fly! This is amazing!”
When I turned to smile at him, Bryson was watching me curiously, like I was some new species he’d just discovered.