Chapter
Twenty-One
Soren
The weather was perfect for a cook out and after everything was off the grill, we settled around the large wooden table on the west side of the house. Everyone settled in, eating and carrying on conversation as if we’d known each other for years. I found out that Rob and Talia had been married for three years and that they had a daughter named Ava. Talia and Sawyer met in college during basics, and after graduation, Talia met Rob while assisting him on a case.
Lane had texted with apologies a couple times saying he was running even later than expected, but was still stopping by. I went ahead and made a plate and set it aside for him. Sawyer commented sparingly throughout the meal, but she seemed to be enjoying herself. She was extremely close with the Sharpes, and I was glad that she had people in her corner like Talia and Rob. Although I didn’t know them well, I could tell that they genuinely cared about her, their presence alone spoke of that. She nearly glowed when she talked about their daughter, Ava, pulling out her phone to show me a photo. I pulled up a photo of Hope, Jonah’s toddler niece, who I had claimed as my own.
Sawyer and I cleared the last of the dishes while Jonah was talking about his gym with Rob and Talia in the family room. I knew that was a stretch for him since he preferred solitude. Rob had expressed an interest in boxing and Jonah was telling him what classes and programs were available. Gaines, Jonah’s gym, was known throughout the region as the premier place to be trained. It was a drive for most people, being located in Kennedy, but one they were willing to make to have top-notch instructors.
Lane entered the house with a bravado that only he could muster. I heard him long before I saw him, as he had let himself in and called out a welcome. From the tidbits I could hear from the kitchen, Lane was certainly shaking hands and making apologies for being late. Sawyer slid up her white lacy sleeves as she faced the sink.
“What are you doing?” I asked, bringing the washcloth I had used to wipe down the counter back to the sink.
“Washing the dishes,” She answered matter-of-factly, twisting her hair around and swinging the silky rope behind her back. I walked up behind her, placing my hands on the counter on either side of her as she faced the sink. The front of my body was a hair’s breadth away from hers.
“No way. I’ll do this later. It’s time for you to relax,” I pointed out, leaning to see her face. I wasn’t touching any part of her body, but I smelled the soft scent of strawberries as the wisps of hair near her ear and neck fluttered from my exhale.
“I can help,” she offered, a bit breathless. I watched in fascination as pale pink spread across the smattering of freckles on her cheeks.
“Nope.”
She turned toward me, leaning against the farmhouse-style sink, and I stepped back, dropping my arms to give her space.
“Okay.”
She looked like she wanted to push, but paused, then added, “Thank you for dinner and letting me bring Talia and Rob.”
“I’m glad you came.” I’d do whatever I needed to see her.
Her shattered blue eyes met mine in a gentle smile that made the freckles on her face resemble gold confetti.
“Me too,” she replied softly.
She pushed off the counter and walked toward the family room, turning back as if waiting for me to join her. She didn’t realize that I’d follow her wherever she went. I pulled the hand towel off my shoulder and draped it on the sink basin to join her. Instantaneously, I saw it all happen in slow motion. Lane rounded the corner from the family room to the kitchen as Sawyer was facing away from him. His goofy smile stretched across his face as he dropped both of his large hands onto Sawyer’s shoulders while loudly exclaiming, “ Well. If it isn’t the little lady that caught my buddy’s eye!”
Sawyer froze, eyes huge, and immediately dropped to the ground shielding herself. The whimper that emitted from her throat ripped my heart from my chest. Her hands covered her head as her knees were tucked by her face. Lane stood paralyzed, a thousand questions in his eyes that were as wide as Sawyer’s had been. He held his hands up in surrender and most likely surprise. I rushed toward Sawyer but clasped a hand on Lane’s shoulder, hastily meeting his stunned green eyes. Lane and I had a conversation that you can only have with someone you know, where words are not needed—just a look. The regret and self-condemnation on his face was palpable.
“Go save Jonah. I’ve got this.”
I squeezed his shoulder as he nodded, backing away slowly. I knew Jonah had to be reaching the end of his word usage for the day. I had no doubt Lane could pull out his class clown act that made him a crowd favorite and keep the room thoroughly entertained. It’d give Sawyer a moment of privacy as I tried to navigate what had just happened. I sat beside her, legs outstretched making sure not to touch her.
“Sawyer?” I softened my voice, afraid to startle her further.
She didn’t move. Could she hear me in this state?
“Pretty Girl. It’s me, Soren. Is it okay if I hold your hand?”
I stretched out a hand beside her palm up, allowing her to make the first move. I wanted it to be her choice.
After a moment, I saw a slight movement of her head that resembled a nod. Her forehead rested on her knees. She was repeating a breathing pattern that I was sure was something she used to cope when these moments happened.
“Here’s my hand. Can you hold it?”
With some hesitation, her small trembling hand slid from covering her head and found mine. Her hand was soft and delicate against my larger calloused one. I threaded her fingers through mine. She rested her temple on her knees as she turned toward me and regarded me with glassy red-rimmed eyes.
“It’s going to be okay, Pretty Girl.” I would have asked if she was okay, but it was as if she needed to be assured that everything was fine.
My thumb stroked the silky skin on the back of her hand. She took in a choppy deep breath.
“I’m sorry. Was that Lane? Please tell him I’m sorry. He’s going to think I’m crazy.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. Don’t worry about Lane. I’ll talk to him. He’s a loud bonehead sometimes.”
This brought out a small watery laugh, and my heart began to slow from the breakneck rhythm it had been beating at. I would do whatever I could to keep a smile on her face. I didn’t fully understand C-PTSD, but I was going to change that. I wanted to be someone she could count on, and how could I do that without knowing more about something that affected her this deeply?
We sat for a few minutes before she was comfortable enough to stand. I made her a glass of iced water and after a couple of sips, we walked into the family room as if nothing had happened. Lane’s eyes met mine, and I knew we’d be talking tonight. Rob had connected the dots to who Lane was, but other than saying he had one hell of a career, no one made a big deal. We talked for another thirty minutes or so, and then everyone made their leave. I walked Sawyer out and hoped with everything inside me that we could try this again.
Lane:
Gym at 10 p.m.?
Jonah:
There.
Soren:
Yeah.