Chapter 31 #2
You never realized how much alone sucked until you were alone in a group of happy people.
Did she want to be safe or did she want to be happy?
The question continued to bounce around in her brain.
“Your Gram sure is happy,” said a voice at her elbow. Gilda.
“Yeah, I’m glad. She deserves it.”
Gilda nodded. “Yep, she does. You know, I had men interested in me.”
Gilda was a box with legs. Inside that box was a know-it-all . . . not so bad once you got to know her. Still, it was hard to imagine Gilda as a heartbreaker.
“How come you’re alone then?” Bree asked.
“Hey, at this age men only want a nurse or a purse.”
“Not Martin,” pointed out Bree.
“Yeah, Louise got lucky,” Gilda said with a smile. “He’s okay. Every once in a while, you stumble on one who is. They’re rare though, about as easy to find as a diamond on the beach. Still, there’s a few out there, I suspect. I haven’t seen one in years.”
Bree had. Fen was a good guy. School had started for him again. Was he home for the weekend? His birthday was the next day.
She looked to where a few cupcakes remained, chewed on her lip, considering.
“Go ahead, take another cupcake before they’re gone,” said Gilda. “Cupcakes are like those rare men. You have to get one while you can ’cause they go fast. In fact, I think I’ll get another right now. Cupcake, that is.”
Bree followed her to the cupcake table and grabbed one. Then she went to where her Gram stood, holding hands with Martin, and visiting with his daughter. “I’m going to take off, Gram,” she said.
“Oh, but you have to stay and catch the bouquet,” Gram protested.
“Don’t worry. I don’t need it,” Bree said. She hugged her grandmother and her new grandfather, said goodbye to her new cousins, then went to say goodbye to her mom.
“You’re leaving already?”
“I need to go see someone.”
Mom looked at the cupcake in her hand and raised an eyebrow.
“See you later,” Bree said, and kissed her.
Fifteen minutes later she was standing in front of Fen’s house. It was already decorated for Halloween, with a collection of Pinterest-worthy carved pumpkins on both sides of the front porch. A fall wreath hung on the front door.
Several cars were parked out front, including his Jeep. Probably an early birthday party was in progress. His whole family would be there. The family who knew her and knew she’d broken up with him twice. This had been a stupid idea.
She sat in her car, staring first at the house, then the cupcake. They go fast.
Maybe Fen was gone now, already hooked up with another woman. There was only one way to find out. She took a deep breath, got out of her car and walked up to the front door. By the time she rang the doorbell, her heart had almost banged its way out of her chest.
His mother opened the door and blinked in surprise at the sight of her. She smiled. It looked forced. “Hello, Bree.”
“Hi, Mrs. Clarke. I was wondering if Fen’s home.” She held up the cupcake. A lone stupid cupcake. She was an idiot. “I know it’s his birthday tomorrow.”
“Yes, it is. We’re just having a little family gathering while his brother’s in town.”
And here was Bree, dressed for prom in her stupid bridesmaid dress. What drug was she on that she hadn’t thought to change?
“Come in,” said Mrs. Clarke, and stepped aside so Bree could enter. She didn’t sound all that welcoming, but at least she hadn’t shut the door in Bree’s face.
Bree followed her down the hall and into the Clarkes’ supersized great room.
Leather furniture, stone fireplace, which was more for decoration than use.
Balloons dancing over a chair in the corner and a pile of opened presents lying beside it.
The small remains of a birthday cake sat on a long table, along with an array of mostly empty appetizers plates.
Some paper plates and napkins lay along the granite kitchen counter.
People were seated, talking and laughing, and kids ran in and out of the sliding glass door.
Salsa music was blasting. It all reminded Bree of the many times she’d been at this house for parties as a teenager.
And there, coming in from the back patio, was Fen, wearing jeans and a shirt, backlit by evening sun, looking like a Greek god. He stopped at the sight of her and stood there, forever, just looking at her, and she squeezed the cupcake so hard its frosted top blew off and fell to the floor. Shit!
“Sorry,” she said to his mom, and bent to pick it up.
But then he was right there with her, kneeling on the floor.
She scooped up the top and put it back on. “I brought you a cupcake for your birthday,” she said. “Three-second rule?”
He half smiled. “Since when do you bake?”
“I’m learning. It’s from my Gram’s wedding. She got married today.”
“Yeah? I guess that explains the dress.” He took the mangled cupcake from her. “Thanks. I’m surprised you remembered my birthday. Figured you’d forgotten all about me.”
“Had you forgotten all about me?” she asked.
One of his little nephews raced up to him. “Can I have that?” he asked.
“Sorry, buddy. It’s mine,” Fen said.
“You going to eat it?” Bree asked.
“No, but maybe I’ll keep it as a souvenir.” He stood up. So did she. “Why are you here, Bree?”
“Because . . . because.”
“Spit it out. You can do it.”
“I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“Can we . . . talk?”
“We are talking.”
He wasn’t making this easy.
His mother had gotten momentarily distracted, but she was back. “It looks like you’re on your way to a party,” she said. Surprisingly, she didn’t add, “Don’t let us keep you.”
“My Gram got married today,” Bree said.
“How nice for her.” That was it. No invitation to stay and have something to eat.
“Could I talk to Fen for a minute?” Bree asked her.
Mrs. Clarke didn’t look happy about the idea. Who could blame her? But she nodded.
Fen led the way back to the front door and they stepped onto the porch, shutting out the noise. He leaned against the door and folded his hands across his chest. “Bree, I’m not sure what you want from me.”
“I want a second chance. Please tell me you’re not with someone.”
“Why?”
Of all the answers he could have given her, this wasn’t the one she’d expected. “What do you mean?”
“Why? I want to know why you want to be with me when you know I want more than you want to give.”
“Because I can’t stand being without you,” she cried. “I’ve been wrecked all summer.”
“Yeah, well, I haven’t exactly been happy.”
“It didn’t stop you from going out,” she said.
“Didn’t stop you, either. Look, I’m trying to move on. You left me shattered, Bree. I’ve been working all summer to try to get over that. I don’t think I can take it if you do it again.”
“I don’t want to do it. I want to get past being so messed up. I want what’s in there,” she said, motioning to the door. “And I want it with you. Please give me another chance. And don’t let me blow it.”
“Aww, Bree,” he said, and pulled her up against him so hard she almost got whiplash.
It wasn’t a gentle kiss. It was filled with a determination and power and all that stupid stuff she’d read about when she was young and thought that true love existed. Maybe it did. Maybe it could.
He broke off and ran a hand through her hair, loosening the silk flowers pinned in it. “Do you know why I couldn’t move when I first saw you tonight?”
She shook her head, held her breath.
“Because I thought I was hallucinating. When I stood in front of that birthday cake and Mom said, ‘Make a wish,’ I wished you were here. Wished we were back together. I knew it would never come true though. And then, there you were. If I hadn’t just now kissed you, I’d still think I was seeing things. ”
She stared at his shoulder, couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye. “I’m still afraid.”
“But you’re here. What brought you here?”
Hope. “Gram got married, to her neighbor. They’ve been friends for years and then she just decided.
My mom’s trying again, too. They’re both so happy.
” She did venture looking up, looking for understanding in his eyes, for encouragement.
“I want that, too. I don’t want to be angry and bitter and alone. ”
“I don’t want you to be. I swear, Bree. You can trust me. You can trust us.”
Could she? What if this was one big mistake? Her lower lip began to tremble, and tears made a stinging attack on her eyes.
“We’ll get you through this. I’ll be there for you,” he promised. Then he kissed her again. This time slowly, softly, as if he was afraid he’d break her.
She could get broken. It was still possible. “We have to take this slow,” she said.
“We will.”
“I mean really slow, slower than a dying slug.”
“Maybe a little faster than that. I’d like to have kids before I’m fifty,” he joked.
Then sobered. “We’re going to be okay, Bree.
Better than okay. We’re going to be great.
” He opened the door. “Come on back inside. Let’s celebrate with the family for a while.
Then we’ll go someplace, just the two of us, and celebrate.
Slowly,” he added. “Like two dying slugs.”
She laughed and followed him inside.
THE PARTY WAS OVER, the guests gone and the cleanup done, and Zona and Alec sat on the couch of what would be their future home, him rubbing her feet.
She’d swapped out her dress for jeans and he’d shed his tie and loosened his shirt.
A hint of his woodsy cologne still hung around and so did the smile he’d been wearing all day.
“You know, you’re downright nice to be around when you’re happy,” she teased.
“I intend to be nice the rest of my days. And happy. How about you?”
“What do you think?”
“I think we should be next,” he said.
Zona’s brows drew together. “Next?”
“You know, cupcakes and champagne. Maybe Louise will loan us Darling for a ring bearer.”
Oh, no. Zona sat up, pulling her leg off his lap. “I can’t. It’s too soon.”
“I didn’t mean tomorrow,” he said, looking hurt.
“That’s good because I promised Bree.”
He frowned. “Promised her what, exactly?”
“That I wouldn’t do anything until she’d graduated from nursing school.”
“How long is that?”
“It’s a two-year program.” Two years did sound like a long time. Zona frowned, also.
“Okay, so no getting married for a while.”
“We need time anyway,” she said.
He nodded, looked thoughtful. “Did she say anything about . . . diamonds? Or sleepovers?” he added with a sly smile.
“Well, no,” Zona said, and smiled back.
“Then maybe I can wait for the cupcakes and champagne. You’re worth waiting for and I’m never letting you go.”
Maybe there was something to those romance novels after all, she thought as he drew her to him for a kiss.
Except no words could describe the joy, the happiness, and the promise of that kiss.