11. Cal Walker
I kept my gun rammed in between Ryan’s shoulder blades the entire walk to the kid’s room. The house was dark and so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, and I leaned in close to my captive’s ear as we walked, resisting the urge to inhale his intoxicating scent.
Sage and clean laundry.
Normally, I wasn’t into incense and crap like that, but for some reason, on this guy, the heady smoke from those herbs was doing all the right things to me.
God, I hoped he was telling the truth.
I wanted to fuck him so bad.
“How much farther?” I growled into Ryan’s ear, and my cock throbbed as I noticed the flesh on the side of his neck pebble beneath my breath.
“He’s just in here,” Ryan whispered back to me. I prodded him in the back with my gun hard enough that he stumbled forward.
“Hurry the fuck up. I don’t have all night.”
That was a lie. I did have all night. Killing him had literally been my only plan, but I was getting anxious. I usually didn’t spend this long with a mark… and if I had really fucked up so bad that Ryan actually wasn’t the right guy… well, I needed to know as soon as possible so I could figure out what the fuck I was going to do with him.
Ryan quietly pushed one of the ancient wooden doors on the second floor open to reveal a tiny figure curled up in the middle of a large Victorian bed.
Moonlight was spilling in through one of the large bay windows and bathing the child in a silvery glow.
He looked so peaceful sleeping that I almost didn’t want to wake him up.
“I’m going to put my gun away so I don’t scare the kid, but if you try anything, I will fucking kill you and your cranky ass sister too. Do you understand what I’m saying, ginger snap?” I growled into his ear, resisting the urge to pull the soft, fleshy lobe into my mouth.
Jesus. Why was I so hot for this fucking guy?
Ryan nodded, and I shoved my gun back into the holster under my hoodie.
Creeping forward, I sat on the edge of the bed and shook the boy gently.
“Hey… hey Caleb, wake up,” I whispered softly. The boy rolled over to face me, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He was so groggy and clearly needed sleep. I remembered how hard it had been to sleep sometimes when I had been locked in that fucking cage. I would get so cold, and my mom never gave us blankets or pillows. The first time Damian had let me sleep in a real bed, I had slept like a fucking rock.
“Who are you?” Caleb asked, his small child’s voice barely a whisper. I gave him one of my more charming smiles.
“I’m a friend of Ryan’s,” I said. Ryan made a quiet scoffing sound that I ignored, though my lips twitched on their own accord. “I have to ask you some questions, and it’s really important that you tell me the truth, even if it’s hard to talk about. Can you do that for me, Caleb?” I asked, keeping my voice quiet and soft.
The little boy glanced nervously over my shoulder at Ryan, who must have given him an encouraging motion because when he turned back to me, he nodded.
“Okay.”
“Was Ryan the man who hurt you?”
The kid’s eyes widened in shock, and he shook his head. “N-no. Ryan would never hurt me. He’s my friend. He said I could stay here so I don’t have to go back.”
My heart fucking leapt in my chest at the confirmation that Ryan wasn’t this kid’s abuser. I don’t think I’ve been this outrageously happy since the first time I tasted fuzzy peaches, which, next to the day we escaped my mom’s house, was still probably one of the best days of my life.
Fucking was officially back on the table!
Unable to contain my shit-eating grin, I glanced back over at Ryan, who was fidgeting awkwardly and flinching like something was hurting him.
My smile faded, and I frowned.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked, and he shot me a distressed look. He was paler than he had been after our fight, and he definitely wasn’t hard anymore.
“I wish you would have let me bring up the sage,” he replied, flinching again.
What was with the damn sage?
Now I feel bad. He clearly needed it for some reason. He looked really uncomfortable.
“We can go get it after this,” I offered, and he gave me an odd look, like the idea of us doing anything after this together was ludicrous.
Silly little ginger snap. We would be doing all kinds of things together after this… he just didn’t know it yet.
“Ryan… are you okay?” the boy asked, and my frown deepened as Ryan did another strange little tap dance. It looked as if he were swatting away a fly.
I glanced back at Caleb, who was biting his lip in concern, before turning back to my distressed captive.
“Alright, kid. I’m going to take him back to get his sage. Go to sleep, but we’re going to have to talk some more in the morning. You’re going to need to tell me where you live.”
Caleb nodded, still staring at Ryan with concern. “Okay,” he agreed, and I got up to leave.
“Let’s go get your herbs, ginger snap. You’re stressing me out,” I muttered, gesturing for him to lead the way. He shot me something close to a grateful look before hurrying back down the stairs. I followed him, still confused as fuck as to why he was freaking out so much. He hadn’t acted this way when I spied on him through the window.
We made it back to the little shitty room that I had found him practicing in, and he practically sprinted to the bushel of sage I had made him leave on top of the mini-fridge.
I leaned against the door frame and watched as he fumbled with a Bic lighter.
His hands were violently shaking, and he couldn’t seem to get the stupid thing lit.
“Here, let me do it,” I offered. He genuinely seemed panicked, and honestly, he was so pale I was starting to worry he might pass out.
I moved to take the lighter from him, but he jerked away from me, turning wide but angry eyes on me.
“Stay away!” he shouted, and I took a step back, holding my hands up to show I didn’t mean him any harm.
“I just want to help. You’re shaking,” I said calmly, as if I were talking to a frightened animal.
“I don’t need your help. I need you to get the fuck off my property,” he snapped as he finally got the lighter to work. The second he had the herbs burning again, he seemed to relax. He slumped against the concrete wall and leaned his head back against it, letting out a shaky breath.
Guess we were resting for a bit.
I perched on the edge of the mini-fridge and watched him as he took deep breaths in through his nose and out from his mouth.
His T-shirt was drenched with sweat, but I didn’t think it was from our fight. He looked cold and clammy, like he had suddenly caught a bad bug. I cocked my head to the side, frowning.
So he got fear boners and panic flu? Was that a real thing?
“What’s with the sage?” I finally asked, and he opened his eyes to glare at me. I grinned at him.
“Why are you still here?” he growled, and I shrugged.
“Not quite done with you yet, ginger snap. Besides, you look like you might pass away at any moment. It feels irresponsible to leave you down here all alone.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“You don’t like ginger snap? I thought it was cute.”
“It’s. Not. Cute. You’re a fucking intruder! You attacked me with a gun!”
“Yeah, but that was before. I thought you were a child abuser. Now that I know you’re not, we can be friends like I said.”
“I don’t want to be your friend! You’re a criminal!” he snarled, though his voice was sounding weak.
I let out a sigh. “Listen. Even if I wanted to leave you alone, I can’t. You’ve seen my face. My boss is not going to be happy about that. He’s going to want me to off you.”
Whatever remaining blood Ryan had in his face emptied out. He was literally as white as a sheet of paper. Even his freckles seemed to have faded.
“Hey, don’t worry. I don’t want to do that,” I tried to reassure him, but he was fully panicking now and stumbling away from me again, shaking his head.
“Get out of my house!” He was yelling, and his eyes had gone blank. I knew that look. He was in full fight or flight. There was no way I could have a productive conversation with him while he was like this.
Guilt swirled in my gut. Now that I knew he was innocent, I didn’t want him to be afraid of me. I often forgot that most people didn’t wake up every day thinking that there was a real possibility they might die.
I had been living like that since I was a child. Death didn’t scare me. If anything, I thought of myself as the harbinger of death, and when my time came, I would greet the reaper like an old friend.
I imagined death would be peaceful, and god knows my life had been anything but peaceful. In my imagination, death would feel like going on a permanent vacation.
Looking at the pale and panicking Ryan Fairview, I realized he did not feel the same way. The idea of dying terrified him, and I had accidentally given him the impression that I would be the one to take his life away.
Oopsie.
“Alright, alright,” I said calmly, getting up from where I had been perched on the mini-fridge. I backed slowly away from Ryan. “I’ll go, but I’ll be back in the morning, so don’t freak out next time you see me. I promise I’m not coming back to kill you. We just need to talk.”
“Get out!” he yelled, reaching behind him to grab a dumbbell off the rickety rack against the far wall. He brandished it at me like it was a weapon, and I sighed but nodded.
“See you in the morning, ginger snap,” I muttered on my way out. “Try to get some rest. You look awful,” I called over my shoulder before slipping up the stairs and out of the house.
I couldn’t shake the anxious feeling in my chest that I shouldn’t have left him there while he was that upset. However, I had clearly just been making the situation worse.
‘He would feel better in the morning,’ I told myself as I climbed into my Bentley. He just needed some rest.