76. Cal Walker
Alexa, play: Seeds - Yoke Lore
(Present Day)
“ W e went a little overboard with the lilies, as you can see.” Ryan smiled down at the photo, his eyes glassy with tears. “The whole house was full of them for a week, and everything smelled amazing.”
My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was so full of conflicting emotions that I found myself unable to speak.
Before I met Ryan, I didn’t really feel emotions like this. Damian had pretty much pounded the feelings out of me. Every time I started to feel angry, sad, or remorseful about things, I would bury those feelings with stupid jokes, drugs, or just straight-up dissociation.
But now… now it was like a giant wall had come down, and I was drowning in all these feelings I didn’t know how to process or unpack.
I was angry.
Angry that those kids had treated Ryan that way. The thought of someone telling Ryan he was anything other than perfect made me literally see fucking red.
No wonder he had a hard time accepting he was attracted to me at first! He was probably carrying around those shitty words his whole fucking life!
I was so goddamn livid; I wanted to totally forget about my promise to Ryan and hunt down that Kenny bitch right the fuck now and cut his fucking dick off.
However, under the rage was this nagging feeling of remorse or guilt on some level. He kept talking about this dark angel that never showed up to save him.
His mother had mentioned it before, too, and Ryan had been calling me angel lately.
Was that… supposed to be me?
Confirming what I already suspected, Ryan dug through the box and pulled out an album. He flipped through it until he landed on another photo of him equally toothless but standing on the front porch of Fairview with the flower sign from the story.
He gave me a bashful grin.
“Took over a decade, but this is for you, I guess.” He slipped the photo out of the album and handed it to me. My mom took it for you so you could see my flower sign.”
I still couldn’t speak. My throat had a massive lump in it, and I swallowed, looking down at my tiny ginger snap and his perfect flower sign.
I was his dark angel.
I was supposed to have been there protecting him! And instead, I was… what? Being groomed by Damian fucking Ryker to protect pedophiles instead, apparently…
Oooohhhh, the anger was back… and this time, it wasn’t directed at bitch-ass Kenny Samuels.
It was directed at someone much more dangerous.
I swallowed, forcing back the painful lump in my throat as I glanced back at Ryan, who was oblivious to the chaotic storm of emotion that was raging through me.
“Anyway. I know I get really uptight about doing things properly here, but you have to understand… This place was my father’s legacy. It’s all I have left of him. When he died, I vowed to take it over and keep it alive. I want… I want to run this place in a way that would have made him proud.”
Seeing the anxious look cross over his face, a crack in my anger broke open, and I reached out to touch his hand.
“Of course your dad would be proud of you, Ryan. How could he not be? Look at everything you’ve done to keep Fairview alive. You basically run this place all by yourself. You’re amazing, baby.”
He chuckled and put the album back in the box he had been unpacking before I arrived.
“I don’t know about that. We’ve been closed for a while now, and I’m getting a little bit worried. We have savings, but they’ll only last so long. I was hoping to go through some of this junk and see if there was anything worth selling to help cover us for a bit longer.”
I frowned at that, absolutely appalled that he was even worried about money at all.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were stressed about money? Baby, it’s my fault we’re on lockdown. I’ll cover all your bills until we can get you back up and running.”
Ryan gave me a sad smile.
“I appreciate that, angel. I do. But all your money is tied up right now. Vox’s too. I had no idea how expensive it was to outbid hit men. He was showing me some of the offers Damian had out there, and I think it would be better to hold onto your cash in case we need it to keep your sisters safe.”
Despite the way all my hair stood up on end at his use of the nickname angel, that burning sting of fury ripped through me again.
Fucking. Damian.
Ryan was barely paying attention to me anymore. He was back in ‘Ryan mode,’ with his adorable frown painted on his face as he pulled another box toward himself.
“I’m pretty sure granny Fairview left us a sterling tea set in here somewhere… silver’s always worth something…” he muttered.
I watched in agony as my ginger snap dug through his attic for family heirlooms to pawn off so he could keep his father’s legacy afloat. It was sending every single instinct I had to take care of him into a frenzy.
This was my fault.
He had worked his whole life to keep this business alive, and here he was, putting it all on the line for me.
No.
I wouldn’t have it.
I stood up and leaned over, dropping a gentle kiss on his forehead.
“I’m going to go rest for a bit, ginger snap,” I lied.
He nodded absently, still rifling through old dusty boxes.
“Okay, angel. I’ll come wake you up when it’s time for dinner.”
“Yeah. Sounds good,” I muttered, already making my way down the ladder and into the hall on the second floor.
The anger in my chest only seemed to build as I stalked toward our bedroom, where I knew my phone was still untouched, charging.
Ripping the cable out of the base, I unlocked it and didn’t hesitate before opening my conversation with Ryan.
Over fifty unread messages awaited me, and I suddenly couldn’t keep myself from gobbling them up.
They started off kind of angry, then they turned to worry and concern.
Ginger Snap:
Cal, please answer me. I’m fucking terrified. Where are you?
Ginger Snap:
Cal, what the actual fuck? Answer me!
Ginger Snap:
I tried to call. Your phone just goes to voicemail. When you see this, can you please send me a text? I’m super worried about you.
Ginger Snap:
Vox is here. Naomi, too. He told me all about recalibration. Baby… I just want to come get you. I wish your fucking friend would tell me where you are!
Ginger Snap:
I don’t know if you’re seeing these and just can’t respond, but on the off chance that you can, I just want you to know that I’m thinking about you. I think about you every second, Cal. I just want to know that you’re alright.
Ginger Snap:
I hate that I’m so helpless and can’t do anything right now. Sitting around like this is killing me! Vox said (well, I guess ‘wrote’) that it usually lasts a week, and it’s been four days. I hope you’re okay. You’re strong, Cal. And so fucking brave. Just hang in there, baby. Thinking about you always.
Ginger Snap:
Did I ever tell you that my mom used to tell me I had a dark angel and that he was going to come save me someday?
Ginger Snap:
I used to kind of resent it because there were so many times in my life when I could have really used a dark angel to come save me… I was kind of a wimpy kid lol.
Ginger Snap:
Anyway, I stopped believing he was coming after a while, but she never stopped believing you would show up… and now I feel like an idiot for not believing, Cal. Because you’re here. You did show up. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it, but I do now. I can’t lose you, baby.
Ginger Snap:
You have to survive this, Cal. You have to come back.
Ginger Snap:
Please, don’t leave me, angel. I just finally found you. Don’t leave me alone again. The sun doesn’t shine as bright without you.
My throat closed up, and I reached up to touch my cheeks, realizing that they were wet with tears.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I was getting soft.
Or maybe… Ryan was worth crying for.
I was his dark angel. He’d been waiting for me for his whole life, and I’d never showed up…
Despite the fact that it wasn’t my fault and it was silly to feel like it was, I couldn’t help it.
Would I have found him sooner if I hadn’t had a crazy bitch mom who had locked me up in a cage? Would we have maybe met in grade school if I had been given the chance to go to school like a normal kid instead of being trained to kill people by a sadist?
I could have protected him from those bitch-ass kids who hurt him and wrecked his flower sign.
I could have met his dad.
Maybe I could have helped move the casket that day instead of his father, and George would still be alive.
Who knew.
All I knew was none of that happened, or even had the chance of happening, because of Damian fucking Ryker… and he was going to pay for it.
Switching to my conversation with Damian, I scanned the unread messages there.
His ranged from threatening to condescending.
Damian:
When you’re done with your little temper tantrum, I expect you in my office on your knees, begging for forgiveness, Callum.
Damian:
Fine. You want to play it like that? Take some time to cool off, but I will not wait forever, Mr. Walker. Don’t make me come looking for you.
The most recent message had been sent that morning.
Damian:
My patience is not endless, Callum. You have three days to come home before I start killing people… starting with that red-headed faggot you’re so obsessed with.
I nearly crushed the phone in my hand.
The world literally turned red for a moment, and my pupils felt like they were vibrating. Gritting my teeth together, I fired a text back.
Cal:
On my way back. Be ready for me.
I didn’t wait for his response. I chucked the phone back on the desk and turned on my heel.
No one fucking threatened Ryan and lived.
I may not have been here to save him from those dipshit kids, but I was fucking here now, and as long as I was breathing, no one would ever speak about my man like that again.
I was going to kill Damian.
With veins pumped full of rage and a desperate sort of love , I felt confident for the first time in my life that I would be able to do it.
I would be able to sight down my gun and pull the fucking trigger, freeing myself and everyone I loved from Damian Ryker for good.