The Mercenary and the Mortician (The Silent Hollow #1)

78. Cal Walker

Alexa, play: Cinema - Benny Benassi, Gary Go, Skrillex

“ H ello, Mr. Walker.” Damian greeted me as I stepped into the cold, familiar space. He was sitting at his desk, the framed pictures of my sisters’ faces down next to him.

His voice slithered over me like a bad dream, and I shuddered. Flashbacks to him stroking my hair as I shook in that freezing tub slammed into me the moment our gaze met.

My fingers twitched as I slid the Glock 19 out of my waistband, pointing it directly at his head.

He smiled.

“Put down the gun, Callum,” he ordered calmly, and the command hit me like an electric shock.

My mind went completely blank for a second.

When everything blinked back into focus, I was pointing the gun at the floor by my side.

I frowned.

What the fuck?

With a hammering heart, I glanced back at Damian, gritting my teeth in frustration.

Did he have me so brainwashed that I physically couldn’t stop myself from obeying?

Leaning on my newfound rage, I cocked the weapon and pointed it back at his head, snarling.

Focus, Cal. Fucking focus for once in your goddamn life!

Damian chuckled and stood up, slowly circling the desk with his hands in the pockets of his perfectly pressed Armani pants. He pulled out his little black remote, and suddenly, the office was filled with the familiar and now achingly painful beat of ‘ Cinema’ by Skrillex .

The music ricocheted through my skull, and suddenly, I was drowning.

McGreggor was spraying me in the face with the hose, and the brand was burning, burning, burning…

I couldn’t breathe.

“Fuck…”

I blinked, shaking my head again, trying to get the flashback to subside.

My finger tensed on the trigger, and I tried to fight against the strange block in my brain that seemed to be preventing my finger from working.

“You’re not going to shoot me, Callum,” Ryker drawled. He was smirking in such an infuriating way. “But if it makes you feel better, you can keep pointing it at me.”

My hand was shaking with the effort to pull the goddamn trigger, a literal bead of sweat formed on my brow as I fought with myself.

This was Damian.

As much as I fucking hated him, there was this seed of loyalty buried deep within my mind. He’d practically raised me. I had spent my formative years looking up to him and doing everything I could to win his approval.

What was I doing here?

I shook my head again, more roughly this time, desperately trying to beat back the doubts as they plagued my mind.

What had I been thinking? I couldn’t kill Damian…

Yes, he was a little abusive, but he also saved me. It wasn’t all bad. The bouts of torture had been few and far between, and they were always in response to something I had done wrong.

Damian continued to approach me slowly, his expression twisting into something that looked close to hurt.

Guilt tore through my gut, and I had the sudden, overwhelming urge to lower my gun again.

“Callum. I’m sorry. I know you’re upset with me, and you’re right to be. I went too far.”

I couldn’t even speak. Instead, I growled and switched to a double-handed grip on the Glock. I forced myself to keep the gun trained on him despite the fact that I was noticeably shaking now.

“Callum. Put the gun down. It’s me.” He reached forward and brushed his fingers over my cheek.

I was in a fucking trance. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from his whiskey eyes.

“I’m sorry I lied to you.”

That’s right! That’s why I was so mad; he lied about being involved with trafficking kids!

“You did lie,” I snarled, and he nodded, inching even closer to me.

“I did, but I was just trying to teach you a lesson. You know you need more attention than the others, Callum. I was just trying to help you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about!?” I rasped, ramming the nose of the gun into his chest.

What did child trafficking have to do with teaching me a lesson?

“You asked me if I loved you, and I said no,” Damian whispered, stepping even closer into my personal space. He didn’t seem concerned at all that I had a fully automatic pistol pressed directly against his shoulder.

“I was lying.”

“Wh-what?” I choked.

There was a roaring in my ears.

No. No, no, no…

I suddenly knew what he was going to say, and I didn’t want to fucking hear it.

I didn’t want to hear the words ‘I love you’ for the first time from Damian Ryker.

He stroked my cheek and ran his thumb over my lips in a way that made my stomach churn. I had a brief flash of memory from the nightmare that had led to me almost killing Ryan.

I remembered Ryker’s soft grunts and the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

Had he been… touching himself? To me being tortured?

Since I was a child?

Had I repressed that?

“I love you, Callum. I always have.”

He was so close to me I could taste his breath. I couldn’t move.

Why couldn’t I fucking move!?

He leaned closer, and the thought of him putting his lips on me made something deep in my chest snap.

The idea of having to tell Ryan that this piece of shit kissed me made me feel so violently ill that whatever spell Damian had managed to cast on me broke.

Suddenly, I couldn’t hear the dubstep anymore.

All I could hear was Ryan’s voice echoing through my mind.

All the beautiful things he had ever said to me rolled through my mind, and my breath caught in my chest.

You’re not a killer, Cal, not really.

You were made to help people, Cal. Not hurt them.

You try so hard to protect and help everyone around you, but who’s protecting you?

Somewhere along the line, I had convinced myself that Damian had been the one protecting me… But that had never been the case.

He’d always been using me. Manipulating me… in more twisted ways than I ever gave him credit for.

He didn’t love me.

He just knew how desperately I needed to hear it. This was another form of control.

Not anymore.

Ryan asked who was protecting me?

I was.

ME.

I would protect my goddamn self from this piece of shit the way little Cal never could.

I was Ryan’s dark angel, and I was going to bring hell to fucking earth if that’s what it took to keep us both safe from this monster.

Suddenly, all the barriers in my mind fell away, and my body snapped to attention.

The shaking was gone, and I felt a tranquil sense of calm wash over me.

As Damian leaned closer to me, I gave him my most seductive grin.

“You going to kiss me, Damian?”

He paused his advance, sensing that something had changed.

My grin widened, and without warning, I drew back my gun and cracked it across his face. He cried out and stumbled away from me. The shock on his face was one of the most satisfying things I’d ever seen.

Without waiting for him to recover, I unloaded the clip into his chest, enjoying the arc of blood that sprayed from him like a fucking garden hose.

“What the FUCK!” he cried as he went down. I reloaded the gun as I approached.

Fuck, it felt good to shoot him.

“Damn, Damian. I haven’t killed anyone in a while. The amount of dopamine coursing through me right now… Wooohooo!”

I did a little energetic jog in place, grinning down at him as he tried to crawl away from me, coughing up dark spurts of blood.

“You know how it is with me. Murder or sex. Murder or sex. Gotta be one or the other.” I smirked, crouching down next to him so I could get nice and close.

I wanted to feel his brain spray across my face when I shot him in the head.

I pressed the gun against his temple and met his shocked, horrified gaze, unable to stop grinning at him.

“What am I saying? Of course you know. You fucking made me this way.”

I delivered the words with an unhinged smile that was all promises and teeth,

“C-callum.” He coughed, and I chuckled, pressing the gun more firmly into his head.

“Though, I haven’t fucked in a while, which is technically your fault as well,” I mused, enjoying the way he was trying to act like he had control of the situation while also shimmying away from me.

“I know, I know. You were willing to give it up just now.” I sighed, feigning interest. “But alas. I cannot indulge in whatever gherkin-sized weiner you’re overcompensating for with all these fancy suits.”

“Callum. Stop it.” He tried to sound commanding, but I just laughed. He had zero hold on me anymore. I was done with him and his fucking lies.

He’d pushed me too far, and there was no going back.

“Wanna know why? Hmmmm?” I chirped.

He just coughed up more blood, and I could barely get the words out because I was unable to keep the shit-eating grin off my face.

“‘Cause Ryan said no butt whores. And you , sir, are the literal definition of a butt whore.”

I cackled at my own joke and cocked the Glock.

“So I guess murder it is! Say bye-bye, Damian.” I smirked just as the door to the office busted open, and all hell broke loose.