The Merger

Chapter 6

Chapter Six

C arys

“No, I’m not okay, Court,” I say, pushing my earbud deeper into my ear, hoping to hear my friend a little better. “I got up before the sun. My bra is killing me, and I haven’t had enough carbs today.”

“But I bet you still look pretty.”

My shoulders slump as a smile slips across my cheeks. “You’re the best.”

“Tate better watch out. If he slips up again, I’ll take his best friend spot again.”

We laugh at the memory of Tate being mad at me last year and telling me to get a new best friend. So I did—to make a point. I started telling him I was too busy for his side quests. No more being his wing woman at the bar. I didn’t have time to pretend to like baseball so he didn’t have to go to the games alone. He was on his own when choosing an outfit for a date.

It didn’t take long until he was sorry.

Just like I told him he would be.

“Gosh darn it,” I say, inspecting the last plant of the day.

“What?” Courtney asks.

“Mrs. Galbraith keeps getting water on the leaves of her African violet. I’ve asked her just to let me handle things—that’s what she pays me for—but the woman is literally loving these poor things to death.”

“You’re speaking in a language I don’t understand.”

I laugh as I pluck off the dead leaves and toss them in a small container I keep by the workbench Mrs. Galbraith set up for me in her sunroom.

“These things are so finicky,” I say. “They need to be watered from the bottom. If not, you risk crown rot or blotchy leaves if water touches them—and these plants have both.” I turn a leaf over gently. “I think she’s misting them. She must be. That’s the only explanation.”

“It’s easier not to have plants. No plants, no kids for me. I can barely take care of myself at that level.”

“I feel ya,” I say as my throat tightens.

The idea of having a baby terrifies me, but not for the reasons it scares the crap out of Courtney. For her, it’s all about losing freedom and the increased responsibility a child would require. Legit concerns. But for me, it’s inviting another adult into my life that’s paralyzing.

Kids I can do. Plants are great. But adults—especially men?

Kill me now.

It’s so paradoxical to want something so much but having to get it from something you don’t. True, I could adopt, and I might. I could also go to a sperm bank and do things that way. But when I consider myself with a little baby, I envision a family.

Then I want to puke.

“Hey, is your godmother coming to your party?” I ask.

“I think so. Why?”

I take a final look at the violets and am satisfied that I’ve done all that I can. Then I place the violet back on its stand, put all my tools in my gardening belt, and head to the bathroom sink.

“Because we had a great conversation about her plants at your last get-together,” I say. “And I was going to poke around and see if she was interested in using Plantcy.”

“That’s a great idea. She’s in London right now, or I’d ask her.”

“Oh, I’ll talk to her. It’s not a problem.”

“If I hear from her, I’ll feel her out. Oh !” She giggles. “I’ll plant a seed. Get it?”

“You’re so funny,” I say, shaking my head and grinning. I turn on the tap and give my hands a good scrub. “I’m about done here for the day. What are you up to tonight?”

“I’m getting ready to attend a play tonight with Gretchen. Someone from her sorority’s involved somehow.”

“I take it you don’t know what play?”

She laughs. “Not a clue. I didn’t pay too much attention to the details. But plays are fun, and I don’t have any plans. So I thought, why not?”

“Well, have fun. I’m finishing up here and then heading home. Let me know how the play goes.”

“Will do. Love ya, girlie.”

“Love you. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I dry my hands and head back to give the workbench one last cleaning before I leave.

The sun warms my face as I work quietly, getting the room back in order. I love the days I work here in the late afternoon. The evening sky is beautiful over the fields behind the house, and I always pause to appreciate the beauty.

I stop to gaze across the lawn, and my mind goes to Gannon.

Our interaction has played through my head on repeat all day long. I’ve second-guessed everything I said, dissected every look he gave me, and wondered why he hasn’t followed up a million times. I feel things went well, even if I got more personal than I wanted and expected. A part of me fears that he’ll see that as a negative. But, in truth, I was only answering his questions honestly.

Who the heck knows how he’ll process things?

I spray the bench down and reach for a towel. As my hand passes over my phone, it rings.

My eyes fall immediately to the screen. I hold my breath … to see it’s my mother.

“Hey, Mama,” I say, wiping down my work area.

“Don’t sound so happy to talk to me.”

I sigh. “It’s just been a long day.”

“Really? Why?”

“I had a meeting at five thirty this morning.”

“What? Why?”

“A potential client only had that slot available, so I took it.”

There’s a pause. “It must be some client for you to get up that early.”

You could say that . “He’s not a client yet. I’m trying not to get my hopes up.”

“How’s Plantcy going?”

I toss the towel in my bag and scoot in the chair. “It’s good. I’m just wrapping up a job right now, actually.”

“We miss you around here, you know.”

“I miss all of you. Just not the job.”

She laughs. “Insurance isn’t for everyone, just like plants aren’t for everyone. I’m just happy you found what makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. How was dinner with your father last night? Are you comfortable sharing? If not, we can forget that I asked.”

I move slowly through Mrs. Galbraith’s house with a deep sense of gratitude. Because as crappy as my father can be, my mother always goes above and beyond. Sure, we argue like any mother and daughter—and working with her is a little too much togetherness—but I can count on her, and I’ve never once wondered if she loved me or would fight for me.

And I hope she knows I love her and would fight for her, too.

“Of course, you can ask.” I exit the house and lock it from the keypad. “He was … Dad, you know? Totally up Aurora’s ass. He did manage to get a few words out directly to me, so that’s a plus. But it’s so awkward.”

At least we cut it short early on so they could go to Urgent Care. Silver linings and all.

Mom sighs. “I know, honey. I know how hard it is for you to navigate that relationship, and I wish more than anything that it was easier for you.”

I pop open my hatchback and sling my tool belt inside. Then I drop it closed.

“Do you know what I think?” I slide in the driver’s seat and promptly shut and lock the doors. I’ve seen too many crime documentaries . My head rests against the seat. “I think I’m tired of worrying about him.”

“I hate that, but I understand it.”

“I left their house last night and just felt so … heavy . It felt like I’d been in a fight, and I don’t need that mess. It’s hard enough to get through a day without thinking negatively about myself, and I know many of my friends feel the same way. We look in the mirror, and what’s the first thing we see? Crow’s feet. We kick ourselves for spending too much on coffee. I feel guilty because I don’t call you enough. It’s a hundred things a day.”

“You’re absolutely right, Carys. I’m proud of you for being so self-aware that you realize this.”

After quickly checking my surroundings, I start the car and back onto the street. Then I head toward my house.

“I don’t understand why the burden is on me to try to fix a relationship that I didn’t break,” I say. “Because that’s what it feels like. I must always go to him for dinner or a holiday.” I laugh. “I say that like it’s more than a few times a year.”

Mom breathes into the phone. “It can only burden you if you let it, sweetheart.”

That’s easier said than done.

Although, it is something to consider. Why do I refuse to chase men who don’t deserve me, yet I keep coming back for more with my father? He clearly doesn’t deserve me either. And I know it. Why do I do this to myself?

“Let’s change topics,” she says. “What are you doing for dinner?”

I groan. “I just want to go home, take a shower, and go to bed. But I also want carbs.”

“How about swinging by my office? I’ll order Chinese, and we can have a little office picnic. I know some of the girls here would love to see you, and I want to talk to you about getting life insurance.”

“Why? Do you plan on killing me soon?”

She laughs. “No, but we’re now offering whole life insurance, and it would be a great thing for you to invest in while you’re still young. We’ll talk about it when you get here.”

The last thing I want to do is engage with people, but the promise of Chinese food is tempting—and so is the unspoken promise of a hug from my mom. Sometimes that really can make everything seem better.

“Fine. But can I get ginger pork buns and Mongolian beef?” I ask.

“Absolutely. How long until you get here?”

“Twenty minutes or so.”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.”

I turn to circle back to Mom’s office. My fingers tap against the steering wheel as I stop at a traffic light. A slow smile spreads across my face as a warmth creeps into my belly.

“Nothing is too pretty to eat.”

Good God.

I’ve never had a man order a meal for me. They always stare at me until I choose something. Gannon just took the initiative and removed the pressure, which was so lovely. Thoughtful. Manly.

And the look he gave me when I tried to pay? Swoon .

It crossed my mind that if I get hired at Brewer Group, I might encounter Gannon during the business day. What if we got stuck on an elevator? Locked in a closet together? Trapped in his office during a wild winter storm?

I laugh, the sound filling my cute little Gremlin.

“You know you can’t actually jump his bones,” I remind myself. “Tate would kill you.”

But maybe it’d be worth it …

My phone buzzes with Tate’s ringtone, and I roll my eyes at his timing.

“Hey, buddy,” I say. “What’s up?”

“Be glad you’re an only child.”

I laugh. “Why? What happened?”

“Just be glad.” He groans. “Anyway, what are you up to? Sounds like you’re in the car.”

“I just finished work and am heading to Mom’s office for dinner. What about you?”

“I’m heading to Jason’s. Mimi misses me.”

“I bet she does.” I giggle.

Jason’s wife’s grandmother, a woman they call Mimi, latched on to Tate the day she met him. He, of course, charmed her, and I’m pretty sure they’d be dating if there wasn’t a sixty-year age gap. He goes to Jason’s, where Mimi lives in a guesthouse, and occasionally hangs out with her. It’s not surprising, though. Tate likes anyone who’ll coddle him and tell him he’s cute.

“I talked to Gannon today,” I say carefully.

There’s a pause. “Really? How’d that go?”

I consider whether to tell him I met him for breakfast and decide it’s not worth it. He’ll freak out and try to big brother me. And while I usually find it amusing, I’m not in the mood today—especially because the whole production was probably futile.

“It went,” I say, unsure how else to describe it. “He said he’s considering my proposal. I guess I have to wait and see if he gets back to me.”

“If I talk to him tonight, I’ll feel him out and see what he’s thinking.”

I grin. “You don’t have to do that. Honestly, I’m not counting on him hiring me. I booked another call for Monday, and I’ll continue moving on until something clicks.”

“That’s a good plan.”

“I thought so.” I pull into Mom’s parking lot and find an open space. The Gremlin fits in much better here. “I’m here, so I need to go. Have fun with Mimi.”

“Tell your mom I said hi.”

“I will. Later.”

“Bye.”

I cut the engine and ensure the call is disconnected before sighing. How do people function when they get up this early every day?

Clearly, Gannon does since he’s a Tapo’s regular.

I grin. What a strange, sexy man.

His smirk slides through my memory, and I can almost feel the weight of his palm on my back.

“It was worth it,” I say, grabbing my purse. “Even if all I got out of it was some fantasy material for later.”