The Merger

Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

C arys

“Yes, I stopped by the lab. Relax, Mother,” I say, turning into the restaurant parking lot.

“I can’t relax. I’m your mother.”

“Not for long if you don’t stop obsessing about things. You’ll have a heart attack. Just something to consider.”

“Be careful, little girl, or I’ll change my new whole life policy’s beneficiary to someone else.”

“Ha! You have no one else, so good try.”

She scoffs. “And whose fault is that? Yours. Give me a grandchild so I can cut you out of my will.”

I roll my eyes and laugh, finding an open spot not too far from the entrance. I slide the Gremlin between two trucks and put it in park.

“I’m here,” I say, cutting the engine. “I gotta go.”

“Okay. Protect your peace, Carys. And don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything at all.”

“Love you, Mom.”

“I love you, baby girl.”

The evening sun is still uncomfortably warm as I trudge toward the restaurant. My stomach groans as if protesting my choice to join Dad and Aurora for dinner instead of going home to Gannon. I hear you, and I concur .

I grip my purse strap as my thought echoes in my head. “Instead of going home to Gannon.”

How quickly things change.

Every day, we grow closer, and every day my emotions grow more tangled. I wake up beside him each morning and am hit with overwhelming feelings. I’m scared to put a name on them or think about them too much. The fact that I acknowledge that I have feelings for Gannon and don’t feel like bolting out the door is terrifying enough. There’s no need to make it more complicated.

I take it one day at a time.

My phone buzzes in my palm as I tug the door open.

Tate: I don’t know who you’ve been spending your time with but they’re stupid.

If you only knew …

Me: I’m walking into dinner with Dad and Aurora.

Tate: Yup. Stupid.

Me: I have to agree with you on this one.

Tate: All jokes aside, want me to come save you and your hot stepmommy?

Me: I thought you said all jokes aside.

Tate: I did.

I roll my eyes.

Me: You should be coming to save me, not my stepmom.

Tate: Have you seen her?

I drop my phone into my purse and step to the hostess table. “Hi, I’m here for the Johnson party.”

“Yes,” the man behind the podium says. “Follow me.”

“Thanks.”

He leads me to a table in the back corner of the room. Dad, Aurora, and another couple sit at a round table talking. My father looks up, his eyes meeting mine before he looks away without acknowledging me.

Why am I here?

My nerves fray as I approach the table. I paint on the biggest smile I can manage. “Hey, everyone.”

“Carys,” Aurora says, her eyes lighting up. “I’m so glad you could come. Have a seat.”

She motions toward an empty chair between her and a dark-haired woman.

“These are our friends Gabe and Rochelle,” Aurora says as I sit. “Guys, this is Kent’s daughter, Carys.”

Rochelle’s smile is kind. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

“Kent, I didn’t know you had a kid,” Gabe says, before tipping back his beer.

I dip my chin to hide my flaming cheeks. This isn’t awkward at all.

“Yeah, I was married to her mom for a while,” Dad says as if that explains things.

“What do you do, Carys?” Rochelle asks, side-eyeing my father.

“She has the coolest job, Ro,” Aurora says.

“I own a small business called Plantcy,” I say. “It’s a mobile plant care company.”

Gabe chuckles. “They say there’s a niche for everything.”

“It’s really taking off,” I say, hoping my father’s listening. “I’m in the process of executing contracts with an up-and-coming artist and a chef. And I work for a huge corporation downtown.”

“Which one?” Gabe asks.

I smile proudly. “Brewer Group.”

Dad stares at me. “Isn’t one of your friends a Brewer?”

Of all the things he manages to know about me, it’s Tate. Ugh.

“Yes,” I say. “But he isn’t involved in my job there. It has nothing to do with him.”

“Right,” Dad says as if this somehow pisses him off.

A server stops by, taking my drink order and dropping off a new drink for Dad and Gabe. I shouldn’t order alcohol when I’m already fired up, but the thought of managing an hour at this table without some liquid courage seems like unnecessary torture.

“What do you do?” I ask Rochelle.

“I’m an elementary school teacher. I teach the fourth grade right now, which is a lot of fun.”

“I could never be a teacher,” I say.

“It might be the last thing on my list.” Aurora laughs. “I don’t know how you do it all day. I’d lose my mind. Sometimes clients will ask if they can bring their kids into the salon for me to do their hair and I want to run and hide.”

“Do you not like kids?” I ask.

She smiles. “I love kids. Just not other people’s little kids.”

Rochelle laughs. “I understand that. It’s not for everyone.”

“You gonna give her a baby, Kent?” Gabe asks, snickering. “Or are you too old for that?”

Dad looks at Aurora fondly. “I’d give this woman anything she wants.”

Aurora places her hand on his arm, smiling at him.

“We talk about starting a family all the time,” Dad says. “It’s just the two of us now that our parents are gone. Aurora lost hers last year in a car accident.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to her, my heart sinking.

“So we figured once we got into our house and did some traveling, we’d have a kid or two,” Dad says. “It’d be nice having some young blood around and doing the whole baseball dad thing or whatever.”

“Hell, you might as well,” Gabe says.

Yeah, you might as well.

I fight back an urge to remind him that he had the chance to do the whole softball dad thing or whatever . I was a cheerleader, played volleyball, and played band. I even did theater one summer and was the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz.

He was nowhere to be seen.

“Were you not a sports kid?” Rochelle innocently asks me. “I was a book kid, myself. No judgment.”

I laugh anxiously. “I was a sports kid, actually. And band. And theater. I did a little of everything.”

“I hear that from so many parents,” Rochelle says, looking around the table. “They complain about the sports and schedules and commitments while their kids are little and then miss it so much once they’re grown. I guess it goes back to that old saying about not knowing what you got until you no longer have it.”

Dad reaches over and presses a kiss to Aurora’s temple. “I know what I got, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Wow. Okay.

I shift in my seat, trying to find a way to change the topic.

“What’s everyone going to have to eat?” Gabe asks, pulling out his menu. “That ribeye looks good.”

“Oh, it does,” Aurora says, as we open our menus together. “I’m thinking maybe the shrimp, though. What about you, Carys?”

“Um, I’m not sure. The chicken sounds good.”

“Don’t get chicken at a steakhouse,” Gabe says. “Get the steak. I’m buying.”

“It’s not that,” I say, laughing nervously.

“Leave her alone, Gabe. She’s going to do what she wants to do. She’s just like her mother.”

My gaze raises slowly over the menu until it smacks into my father’s. His eyes are cold, daring me to talk back.

The last time I saw him, he barely acknowledged my presence. This time, he’s going out of his way to be a dick. He’s been in and out of my life for twenty-seven years. Whenever he pops back up, I give him the benefit of the doubt.

Why do I do that? Do I think I need him to love me so I’m lovable? Do I need his approval so I can feel worthy for other men?

What kind of fucked-up bullshit is that?

No more. I’m not doing it anymore.

I lay my menu down and fold my hands on the table. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“ Kent ,” Aurora hisses.

“Gabe, did you tell Kent about your upcoming deep-sea fishing trip?” Rochelle asks too loudly. “I got it for him for Christmas last year, but the thought of going out in the water like that terrifies me. I’ll be in the hotel with a book.”

“I’m sorry, Carys,” Aurora whispers. “He’s been drinking.”

“Don’t blame it on my drinking,” Dad says, staring holes through me. “What do you want? Why do you keep coming around?”

And there it is. The admission of his disdain for me.

Damn.

I’ve always known this was the case, but to hear him admit it is a different kind of feeling. It’s salt into a seeping wound that I’ve carried for years. Sadly, it’s also vindication that I was right.

“Kent, cut it out,” Aurora says, louder this time.

Tears cloud my vision, and a lump the size of Texas clogs my throat. The sting of his words lingers, yet at the same time, having it all out on the table is a relief.

“Why do you keep coming around?”

That says all I needed to hear.

“You walk around with a fakeness you learned from your goddamn mother,” Dad says, glaring at me. “Always pretending like you give a fuck. But let’s be honest, you don’t give a shit about me. You’re just sticking around to see what you can get from the old man when I croak. But you’re wasting your time. There won’t be a dime for you.”

“Excuse me?” I ask, my brows hitting the ceiling.

“Just admit it and be done with it. It’s time to tell the truth,” he says.

I laugh in disbelief. “Yeah. Okay.” I nod. “Let’s tell the truth.” I lean forward, lasering my focus on him. “The truth is that I’ve never asked you for a damn thing. Not one dime. I’ve never said a word to you about missing every game I’ve ever played, every birthday, and every holiday.”

Aurora sits back in her seat, mouth agape.

“I might have taken your shit up until now, but it’s over,” I say, pushing my chair back.

“Oh, you’ll be back,” he says, sneering. “You always come back.”

“I have always come back because I didn’t know I deserved more. You see, I didn’t have a father to teach me that.”

Rochelle covers her mouth and grabs Gabe’s hand.

“Want me to go with you? If you need me to go with you, I’ll go with you.”

Gannon’s words trickle through my mind, providing me with a bit of refuge from this storm. He’s the best man I’ve ever met. Kind, genuine, thoughtful, caring. The opposite of Kent in every way.

“But, lucky for me, I found someone who has showed me that I deserve respect. Love. Time. Attention.” I stand, my voice shaky. “And that someone didn’t want me to come here alone tonight, and he’ll be the one to pick up the pieces when I go home.” Tears stream down my cheeks. “He taught me everything I know about what a man should be. And that certainly isn’t you.”

Dad laughs angrily. “Men lie to you.”

I smile. “The only man who has ever lied to me told a six-year-old little girl he’d pick her up to celebrate her birthday.” I choke back a sob. “And I’ll never forgive you for that.”

“Carys …” Aurora looks up at me, her lip quivering. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you for the invitation tonight, but I have to go,” I say, standing tall, blinking back tears. “Happy birthday, Kent.”

My steps are measured as I leave the restaurant, but they turn into a full run as I hit the parking lot. Tears pour down my face as I lock myself inside the Gremlin. Snot touches my lip as I pull onto the road.

I start to turn toward Gannon’s but remember he’s not home. So I take the exit to my house instead.

My phone rings from my purse, and I use one hand to dig it out. His name is printed on the screen. It causes my tears to flow harder.

I hiccup a sob before I can speak.

“What’s wrong?” he says before I have a chance to get a word out.

“I’m heading home.”

“What happened?” His voice is gruff. “Can you please excuse me? I’ll be right back.” A door squeaks in the background. “What the hell is going on, Carys?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re crying.”

“I’m fine.”

The pause is long and tense, and I can feel his intensity through the line. “What did that motherfucker do to you?”

He told me the truth.

“You walked around with a fakeness you learned from your goddamn mother. Always pretending to give a fuck. But let’s be honest, you don’t give a shit about me.”

I swallow hard, his words echoing through my heart.

He’s right, actually. I don’t give a shit about him. Not anymore. Gannon has showed me that what Kent and I have isn’t a relationship. It’s not a relationship if it’s one-sided. Not if the other person is cutting you down in front of his family and friends. If you feel worse walking away from them. If they make you question your motivations and sanity.

I don’t give a shit about Kent Johnson because he’s nothing to me. He’s nothing to me at all.

“Really, in a way …” I smile through the tears. “He set me free.”

“I’ll call security and tell them you’re on the way.”

“No, Gannon. I’m going home. My home.”

He gets quiet again. “Are you okay to drive?”

“Yes.”

“Then drive safe.”

“I will.”

The line disconnects and I try to focus on the road as my father’s words swirl in my mind. He did this to me on repeat throughout my life and I kept going back for more. I guess sometimes you have to learn things for yourself, and I certainly have tonight.

“Protect your peace, Carys.”

I smile sadly. “I am, Mom. I am.”