The Mirror in the Mountain (The Mirrored Trilogy #2)

26. Estelle

Chapter 26

Estelle

I hadn’t wanted to admit to Adrian that he might have already won with almost a full day to spare. Whether it was the bond pushing me toward him, or that all those seemingly innocuous ways to show me how much he cared had softened my heart along with my guard, I could no longer deny that his intentions seemed pure.

Nor could I deny how much I wanted him, our first tryst only leaving me wanting more. Though I had heard whispers of the effects of an anima bond, I hadn’t realized the intensity of it before even accepting the tie between us. I found myself pressing my thighs together beneath my skirts at the mere sound of his voice and watched as his eyes darkened at the way my skin flushed in response.

He hadn’t hidden how much he wanted me in return, though each night he had only given me the barest of kisses before leaving me at my door. As if he knew it would only make me yearn for him more, along with everything else we could be together.

The second I opened my bedroom door, Adrian was waiting there with a steaming mug in hand, as had become our tradition. “Come on.”

I took a sip and let out a contented sigh at the taste as his hand slipped into mine. That initial charge between us at his touch, the undercurrent of some ancient magic, made my heart quicken. “Where?”

A saccharine smile. “We have places to be, Princess.”

“Oh?” I raised one eyebrow. “Here I thought the bonding ceremony preparations were being handled by basically everybody but us.”

Adrian laughed, and I inwardly swooned at its deep rumble. “Well, we’d better disappear before they remember to come find us then.”

I smiled and let him lead me away.

Whether it was the anima bond or just him, my last semblance of restraint faded far faster than I had imagined. Adrian seemed to sense my concerns before I could voice them, eradicating my every fear about any ulterior motives, even as I came to realize they were all echoes of my father’s voice urging me to distrust outsiders for how they might use me. It had been simpler than I thought to let down the walls I had built around myself in the name of duty and let myself trust him.

My worries about controlling my own destiny seemed to fade just as easily as Adrian made it more and more clear that it would always be my choice with him. I hadn’t even realized that he stood to inherit the Esterran throne until he had introduced me to his older brother, Eliav, last night at dinner. He shared the same golden-brown eyes and flirty grins, though his mannerisms were far more calculated.

But his brother wasn’t Celestial. Which meant Adrian hadn’t even considered his own ambition before letting me choose where I wished us to spend our lives together.

“Your brother seems happy about his change in station.”

I winced at my lack of tact, but Adrian’s pace didn’t falter as he led me up a staircase I didn’t recognize. “He’ll be a good king.”

“And you don’t wish you were in his place?”

Adrian stopped so suddenly I ran into him. He caught me effortlessly in his arms, then tilted my chin up so I looked him in the eyes. “My place is with you.”

Something indefinable danced between us, something that felt like forever. And I realized the last of my reticence had somehow disappeared without my realizing it, Adrian’s earnestness having chipped it away piece by piece. He led me down a bright, open hallway, his hand in mine as he tugged me into a library I had never seen before, the stacks of books towering all around us on glossy, white shelves. A lovely, cushioned window seat overlooked the misty forest below, and I brought Adrian over to it, setting down my mug. Then laughed as he immediately pulled me onto his lap.

His lips were on mine before I could protest…not that I wanted to. Everything about him felt like home, like belonging. Even the sinful stroke of his tongue as it demanded entrance reminded me that being together somehow made me feel utterly whole.

Adrian drew back, and I blushed as his gaze remained fixed on my mouth. But he didn’t lean back in. Instead, he looked into my eyes so deeply, it felt like he was staring into my soul.

“I’ve never seen eyes like yours. They’re beautiful.”

I winced, just slightly, thinking about the prophecy the High Queen had told my parents before my birth. The reason I had been so carefully sequestered since that moment—the northern princess no one was allowed to visit, awaiting her secret crown like some silent specter to her own future empire.

Adrian’s brow furrowed at whatever he saw on my face. Like he could sense my displeasure across the bond I still hadn’t accepted.

Except now…maybe I wanted to. Maybe I didn’t want to live that lonely existence anymore. And maybe, despite my former misgivings about trusting some foreign prince with everything to gain…maybe he was actually as lonely as I was, with nothing up his sleeve but his love for me.

His heart beat steadily beneath the hand I braced on his chest, its rhythm soothing my racing heart.

Adrian raised an eyebrow. “So?”

I blinked. “So…”

“Have I convinced you? Or am I to spend the rest of my days trying?” He leaned forward, his mouth brushing against the exposed skin between my neck and shoulder. “Because I could spend the rest of my life happily doing so if it means getting to hold you like this.”

I sucked in a shaky breath. “You have been…convincing. More than I imagined you could be in so short a time. But if we are indeed doing this, there are a few things you might need to know.”

Adrian had the nerve to smile at me, that godsdamned dimple peeking through to taunt me too. “Indeed.”

I bit my lip, letting it slide out from between my teeth. “That is to say…something important that I’ve been keeping from you.”

“I gathered,” Adrian deadpanned, with an utterly annoying lack of concern. That dimple deepened.

“It’s not something…bad, per se. It’s simply that I’m…well…”

“You don’t have to tell me. I’m not expecting you to open up all at once?—”

“I want to,” I snapped and was surprised to realize it was true.

We stared at each other for a too long moment; everything I wanted to say on the tip of my tongue. But this was my anima , and as much as I tried to tell myself that he was a virtual stranger, that telling him would change things, that I couldn’t trust anyone besides my family with the secret I had kept since my birth…wasn’t that what he was about to become?

“It’s fascinating seeing you at a loss for words for once.” Adrian pressed his lips together like he was holding back a laugh. “I must admit, it’s quite endearing. You realize there’s nothing you could say that could make me not want you?”

“I’m going to be High Queen.”

There was a beat of distended silence, then Adrian let out a relieved breath. “Here I thought you were going to tell me you were cursed or dying. If you want to go through the Choosing one day, I have absolutely no objection.” He frowned. “Did you think I would stop you?”

I sighed, shaking my head. “It’s not really a choice. The Choosing…it’s predetermined, its outcome inevitable. Or at least it is when there’s a seer involved. Queen Amerie herself foresaw that the golden crown in my eyes would be worn by her true successor.”

Adrian blinked slowly, then his brow furrowed. “That’s why your father was so concerned about another heir. Because he knew you would one day leave your station to rule the realm, leaving Soleara to whoever’s magic was strongest, and not necessarily someone of his bloodline.” He swallowed hard. “And that whoever ruled by your side would be…”

“Yes,” I whispered. “Though based on the myriad of insipid suitors he’s flung at me over the years, he was hoping for someone he could easily control. And through them, me.”

His jaw flexed, anger darkening his face. But his voice was gentle when he asked, “Do you want to be High Queen?”

I looked at him askance. My mouth opened then closed again before I managed to respond. “No one’s ever asked me that.”

He frowned. “We’ll get back to that. Why were you so afraid to tell me?”

“I’ve always been told that if I were to tell someone, they would use that information to their advantage,” I explained as his fingers stroked up and down my back. “To use me. I was already set apart as the only heir to Soleara, my friends handpicked, my movements guarded. Everything in my life has been chosen for me, down to who I would one day be.”

“I’m sorry,” Adrian said softly.

I shook my head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“Not sorry for. Sorry that. I’m sorry that anyone ever made you believe that you were only worth the crown on your head. That this honor has been anything but that for you.”

I swallowed against the lump in my throat, adding wryly, “In that case, I have a lot of sorry that’s, and extraordinarily few sorry for’s. But thank you all the same.”

Adrian pulled me closer, those golden-brown eyes seeming to stare right into my soul. “No wonder you weren’t interested in another thing preordained. Or did you think I also wanted to…” His jaw clenched. “… use you?”

I winced. “I’m sorry if I made you feel unwanted.”

“No apologies necessary, Princess,” Adrian murmured. “As long as you understand that the only thing that I’ve ever wanted is you. I don’t care whether you’re High Queen or the court jester. I just want you to be mine.”

My lips were on his before I even realized I had leaned in. Something slid into place, some final piece of the answer I had been waiting for. Something I might’ve known since this whirlwind began but had been too scared to allow myself to believe in.

Because maybe I could trust in someone—and let myself belong to him just as he belonged to me. Maybe I didn’t have to do this alone.

Something fluttered wildly in my stomach as we breathlessly broke apart. “Let’s do the bonding ceremony right now.”

Adrian barked a laugh that quickly quieted at the look on my face, his smile turning more than just a little wobbly. “And here I thought tomorrow’s grand event was still tentative.”

“I don’t care about that one,” I insisted, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I’ll show up and wear the dress and smile and do whatever it is our parents planned and we had no say in. But I want one that’s for us . Just us.”

“Are you sure?”

The slightest of smiles curved my lips at the hope on his face. And I knew that if I were to say no, Adrian wouldn’t hesitate to face down the whole realm to stop the proceedings tomorrow, even if it was the opposite of what he wanted.

Maybe that was why it was so easy to say, “Yes. Are you?”

“As if I’d ever say no to you, Princess.”

We snuck into the garden, under the willow tree that had become ours. The full moon’s light trickled through its leaves as we circled each other the traditional seven times, one after another. Adrian’s gaze only dipped once—as he slipped the ring that had once been his grandmother’s on my finger, its gray diamond seeming to ripple in the dappled light. I placed a matching silver band on his finger, stolen by a sneaking tendril of darkness from the jeweled box marked for tomorrow’s proceedings, as we whispered the words that would bind us eternally.

“You are my beloved.”

“And I am yours.”

His hands tightened on mine. And then there was magic, mine and his, surrounding us unbidden in an explosion of light and dark. As we glowed like two stars—my light surrounding us with its warmth as his darkness wove throughout it, the willow’s leaves fluttering wildly as our magics whirled around us.

And I felt it then. The bond indelibly linking us, our souls forever joined. His love for me was so pure, I felt embarrassed to have ever questioned his intentions. A belonging so definite, I knew I would never feel lonely again.

When we came together this time, it was with one heart. Mapping each other’s bodies in a way that was far more intimate now that I could feel his every emotion, and I knew he could feel mine. Adrian’s darkness wrapped us in a sanctuary as tiny balls of my light flew around us like fallen stars—a realm for just the two of us, an eternity in which time itself seemed to stand still.

“ Estelle. ” Adrian breathed my name like a promise, as sacred as any wedding vow.

He is mine. And I am his, was my last thought before I came apart—my release taking him over the edge right along with me.

Adrian’s lips brushed against my brow as we lay there, sated and still entwined. Watching as our magics gave way to the beams of moonlight streaming through the tangled leaves, mottling our naked bodies in light and shadow. He picked a leaf from my hair as we found our clothes, laughing softly before I stole the sound from his mouth with a kiss I never wanted to end.

With his hand in mine, we snuck past the still unsuspecting guards, tiptoeing through the silent castle. Muffling our breathless laughter as our eyes met in the darkness, the dizzying current of his delight infectious.

I laughed aloud as he picked me up, spinning me around before carrying me past the threshold. “You know it’s bad luck to see me the day of the ceremony, right?”

Was it possible to be drunk on joy?

As I looked into his eyes, it occurred to me that this was what happiness must feel like.

His answering amusement across our bond only added to it as he shut the door behind us. “I’m willing to risk it if it means I get to stay with you.”