42. Eva
Chapter 42
Eva
A maelstrom had opened above Adronix like it sensed us nearing it, lightning flashing across the stormy skies in an endless flurry of light and shadow. Icy rain poured down in a torrent and even the circular pockets of magic Yael conjured around us were unable to keep the chill from my bones. My heavy cloak stayed tightly wrapped around me as the sleet turned into snow. Yet the cold ran deeper than that, like the frost had invaded my very blood.
The closer we got to the icy mountain, the more I felt like I was losing my mind. This close, its presence felt like a constant thrum inside my head, growing more demanding with every step. Perhaps that was the mirror that waited within, luring me like a moth to a flame.
Or, if fate was to be believed, a fish already on the hook.
My nerves skittered as we came to a halt. I turned to see Bash striding toward me, the hilt of his sword rising above his shoulder from where he had it strapped to his back, the two daggers on either side of his narrow hips exposed as his cloak streamed behind him. His storm-filled eyes studied me, his snow-speckled lashes brushing against his freckled cheeks as his eyes narrowed at whatever he saw.
I dismounted Nisa, my boots hitting the frozen ground hard. “What are we waiting for?”
Bash closed the gap between us in two long strides. “The next section of the route is prone to avalanche. A few Elemental water users are riding ahead to make sure it’s safe. They’ll report back as soon as we can proceed.”
I wondered if he realized he ruled so easily. Effortlessly commanded the trust of his people, their respect freely given because it had been earned, not because of his titles, but through years of serving alongside them in this war.
Not for the first time, I wondered why he hadn’t been chosen to lead this realm. He was eligible for the Choosing, after all. And yet, he hadn’t once mentioned the desire ever crossing his mind. Perhaps I should simply be glad of the fact that he was my anima and would lend a level of credibility to my own claim through his devotion to me.
Part of me hoped that if I were to fail, Bash might take my place as the leader this realm deserved. Another part of me knew without a doubt that if I were to die in the attempt, Bash wouldn’t be far behind.
Bash’s eyes shot to mine, a muscle feathering in his cheek. I belatedly tried to calm my thoughts, knowing he could sense the full weight of my unease now that I was no longer holding him at bay.
“Talk to me,” Bash said, almost too quietly to be heard amongst the bustle around us. “Please.”
It was the plea in his eyes that unraveled the words on my tongue. “I can feel it. Like it’s calling me.”
“The mirror in the mountain?”
I shrugged slightly, something snagging in my throat. “Either that or destiny itself.”
His eyes flared slightly at that, his head tilting to the side as if appraising me.
“Perhaps we’ll make our own destiny today,” Bash murmured, reaching out to cup my cheek. His thumb moved against it in lazy strokes.
I leaned into that touch, retreating into the comfort it offered. Trying and failing not to notice the raw worry that streaked across our bond.
My hand reached down to rest on the hilt of my dagger, feeling it almost hum beneath my hand as I steadied my resolve. “Today, we stop him. Or at least gain the power to do so.”
Bash’s gaze darkened, his irises swirling madly as he leaned in. “There you are, hellion.” He stopped with his lips a breath from mine. “Do you know how hard it is not to kiss you when you get that look on your face? Determined, cocky, deadly…the one that promises vengeance.”
My mouth quirked, relishing the way his gaze dropped to the dimple I knew had appeared. “What’s stopping you?”
Bash let out a sound somewhere between a huff and a groan. Then his mouth was on mine, his fingers twisting in my hair. Kissing me like there was no tomorrow as I desperately pushed away the thought that it could be true.
I stopped feeling the chill as I clung to him, losing myself to the warmth of his mouth and lips and tongue, tangling and unraveling me. Knowing we had only minutes before we would begin our journey again, but unable to let him go for the life of me.
He pulled back, panting against my now swollen lips. My hand tightened behind his neck as I drowned in the endless feeling of his love—letting it banish my desperation and dread, if only for a moment.
“I was lonely and broken, and you helped put me back together piece by piece,” I whispered, watching as wet flakes of snow settled on his auburn lashes. “I might have loved you, if for nothing else but that. And for taking me home where I belonged.”
“Don’t you dare say goodbye to me,” Bash growled, sensing what lay behind my words. Understanding too much, as always. “Not now, not ever. Stop talking like you’re going to die.”
I swallowed against the lump in my throat. “I’m just being practical. This is war, after all.”
“Well, stop it,” he snapped. “You’re not allowed to die today.”
I raised a brow. “Is that so?”
“Yes,” Bash said staunchly, glaring at me as if I was being the stubborn one. His arms wrapped around me protectively as his shadows formed a hazy shield around us. “I won’t let that happen.”
“And if the universe has other ideas?”
“Then I’ll let the universe know exactly where it can put them.”
He kissed me again, almost lazily. Like there wasn’t a doubt in his mind about how this would end.
Maybe he knew I needed that reassurance. Or maybe he just felt the need to show me exactly what we could have together when this was all over—if we won. A future that felt utterly out of reach, as much as I wanted it. Like the outcome of today had a chokehold on it, even in my dreams.
Or perhaps it was the feeling that my life would still be the price of winning.
When he looked at me, I didn’t miss that glimmer of hope that promised a future I didn’t dare yearn for. Unable to control my wince, I tried to turn away, but his hands held me in place against him, no doubt sensing my shift.
Bash’s irises swirled with agitation, his jaw hardening. “Stop thinking that this realm would be better off without you. Not when we’re so close.”
I tried desperately to make the lump in my throat go away, but I wouldn’t lie to him. Couldn’t—not when he saw right through me. “And if we’ve exhausted all our options?”
He growled in frustration, lifting a hand to cradle my face. “We’re not done yet. Not when there are other ways to stop him.”
“If he goes through the Choosing, he’ll be unstoppable,” I said dully.
“Then we’ll stop him first. I’ll do anything to rid him from this world.”
My throat tightened. “Except give me up.”
Bash’s jaw flexed. “Except that.”
It was getting harder to breathe. Carefully, I counted my breath in, then out.
“We’ve been over this, Eva. I won’t lose you,” Bash said firmly. “I’m yours, and you’re mine.”
“Bash…”
“You promised me forever,” he growled. “And I intend to collect.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it, trying not to let myself hope.
“And I’ll be right there with you, whatever happens in the end.” His voice faltered. “You don’t have to face him alone. Not again.”
“Then trust me, Bash. Trust me to do what needs to be done. Trust that you’ll be with me, even if you aren’t at my side. Trust that if I have any choice in the matter, I’ll come back to you.”
His lower lip trembled. “I do trust you. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten?—”
“I know I scared you that night.” My voice wavered as I thought back to the blade of darkness I had come so close to turning upon myself. “But I made you a promise, one that I intent to do my best to keep.”
“Unless there’s no other way,” Bash countered.
“Trust me,” I repeated, more firmly this time. “That I’ll do everything I can to avoid that last resort. That I’ll find a way. That I can handle myself.”
“I know you can,” Bash said hoarsely. “It's me who can't handle it. I can't—I can’t lose you. It’s more than I can bear. But that's my problem, not yours. Not when you’ve more than proven how capable you are.”
“Then trust in us.” I leaned my forehead against his as we breathed together in that slow four-count he needed as much as I did. Our exhales melded together, visible in the chilled air, and I saw some of the tightness in his body melt away.
“I will. I do ,” he whispered, those last two words more heartfelt than a wedding vow.
He kissed me then, almost frantically, a strange sort of desperation spreading across our bond. Love and fear and longing all wrapped up in the press of his lips against mine—as if he was trying to fit everything he felt for me into it all at once. As my arms wound behind his head, I was struck by the need to stop time and forever relive this moment. To memorize every part of it should this kiss be our last.
His teeth dragged along my lower lip as we broke apart, his lips hovering there as if reluctant to pull away before his mouth barely brushed mine in a brief echo of before. Like he, too, was committing every nuance to memory before what was to come.
And it was that kiss that almost broke me.
There was a possessive sort of terror in his eyes, like he had finally given in to the fear he could lose me. I wished there was something, anything I could say to assure him that he wouldn’t…
But I was done lying to him.
He looked at me, seeing entirely too much as usual. His throat bobbed in a telltale swallow that made my heart ache.
I should tell him how much I wanted that future, that happily ever after—for myself, yes, but also for us . But I couldn’t find it in me to offer him false hope, not with so little time left before this final reckoning. Not when he already knew my heart.
And there was a part of me that felt like I might somehow doom us if I let myself acknowledge that future. That, just maybe, if there was something left unsaid, then tomorrow would still come.
So all I did was twine my fingers through his, squeezing far too tightly until it was time to depart. Even then, the feeling of his hand holding mine felt branded on to my palm as surely as my scar.