12. Salem
TWELVE
salem
I adjust my gloves as I leave the Science building, focusing on the familiar nitrile squeak instead of the curious stares that follow me. Three weeks into being Lee Sterling’s fake girlfriend and I haven’t got used to the extra attention. I guess I should be grateful. At least now when people stare at me, it’s with curiosity and not cruelty.
My phone buzzes with Lee’s morning text—something he started doing to help with my routine. It’s hard not to smile at my phone.
Lee: Good morning, Pantry Girl. Everything’s clean and counted and waiting for you. As always.
I try to remind myself that the warmth in my chest from receiving that text isn’t real. Just like the way he kisses me in public, or how he remembers exactly how many times to sanitize his hands, or how he’s learned all my patterns, taking them on like they’re his own.
It’s all an act. All of it. But it doesn’t feel like it.
I still can’t believe he’s kept this up for three weeks. That someone like Lee is willing to count ceiling tiles with me and carry sealed water bottles and make sure every surface is clean before I touch it. I can’t even imagine how exhausting that must be. I mean, it’s exhausting for me, so I can’t imagine trying to pretend.
“Salem! Wait up!!”
I freeze at the sound of my name and turn just in time to find Aries jogging toward me. I know him only through Lee, as he and Aries are best friends. Go figure he’s as polished as always, with designer clothes, perfect hair, and a winning smile.
He’s never said or done anything to make me uncomfortable, but something just pings in my brain when he’s near. Not like with Lee. It’s something I haven’t been able to put my finger on.
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask once he’s closer.
“Lee asked me to get you,” he says, coming to a stop precisely three feet away. He’s clearly noticed how I am about personal space. “He’s stuck in some family meeting bullshit, but he asked me to bring you to him.”
I clutch my bag a little tighter. “I can just meet him later?—”
“He insisted.” Aries’s smile widens. “Wouldn’t want his girl wandering around campus alone, would he? Especially with Marcus Chen still causing trouble.”
The mention of Marcus makes me flinch. Just yesterday, he’d accidentally knocked my books out of my hands, scattering my organized notes everywhere. I'm sure only Lee’s sudden appearance prevented worse from happening.
“Besides,” Aries continues smoothly, “what kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t look after you?”
He has a point. Lee does trust him—they’ve been inseparable since freshman year. Never mind how protective Lee has gotten since the Marcus incident. It’s not surprising that he’d ask Aries to accompany me somewhere.
With a sigh, I tell myself that I’m being paranoid, and that this is merely Lee continuing his protective boyfriend position. Locking eyes with Aries, I ask, “Okay, where is he?”
“Not far.” Aries’s laugh sounds almost genuine. “He’ll be happy to see you.”
“I hope so,” I murmur as we start walking, my steps falling into place beside his while I maintain my three-foot bubble of space.
I try to ignore the small things, like how Aries’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes and how his demeanor appears to grow more excited now that I’ve agreed.
One step at a time.
Two messages I should probably send Lee.
Three reasons this feels wrong.
Even so, I don’t say anything. I continue walking.
When we turn toward the historic district of campus instead of the usual coffee shop or library, my steps falter. The massive brick building ahead makes my skin prickle. I’ve only been to the actual house once, the night of Drew’s party. The night I hid in a pantry and met Lee.
“The Mill?” I stop completely, nitrile squeaking as I clench my fists. “Lee and I have never met here before.” At least not after the first time.
Aries turns, walking backward with casual grace. “Well, it had to happen sometime, right? He told me he would be waiting upstairs for you.”
My intuition says this is wrong, but what do I know? I’ve never had a fake boyfriend. I’ve never experienced these things.
“Come on, Salem, what’s the problem?” Aries goads.
The way he says problem makes me shiver, the sensation similar to nails on a chalkboard. His smile is still perfect, still friendly, but there’s an edge to it now that I can’t quite read.
“I should text him,” I mumble, reaching for my phone.
It takes two tries to get it out of my pocket with trembling hands.
“Already did.” Aries holds up his own phone. “Told him we’re on our way. He’s tied up in his meeting but said to bring you upstairs for him.”
I stare at the heavy wooden doors of The Mill. The last time I was here, the place was packed with people. Now it looms silent and empty, late afternoon shadows making it look more imposing than I remember.
“I don’t …” I swallow hard. “Maybe I should just?—”
“Hey.” Aries’s voice softens as he steps closer, making me stumble back. “I get it. You’re nervous, and given your past, I understand completely. But Lee would kill me if I let you wander around campus alone with Marcus and his crew still giving you trouble.”
My phone feels heavy in my hand. I should text Lee myself and verify this with him. Should trust my instincts that are screaming at me that something’s wrong.
But what would I even say?
Your best friend is being too nice?
I’m paranoid about entering a building?
I don’t trust the person you trust most?
Lee’s been so patient with me, and my counting, and complete need for control. He pushes my boundaries, yes, but always with care. Always making sure I feel safe. Maybe this is just another lesson, another boundary he’s trying to help me overcome.
Besides, Aries is right—Marcus’s behavior has been escalating lately. The books incident was only the latest in several outright attacks. And I swear I feel someone watching me even when I know no one is.
“Fine,” I concede, following Aries up the steps. “But only until Lee’s done with his meeting.”
“Of course.” He holds the door open with another perfect smile. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”
As I step into the dimly lit foyer, I try to ignore how the heavy door sounds like a tomb closing behind us.
“Lee talks about you constantly,” Aries continues speaking as we climb the ornate staircase. His voice echoes off the wood-paneled walls, making it sound like multiple voices are speaking. “It’s kind of sweet. I’ve never seen him so … invested before.”
I focus on counting stairs instead of responding. Twenty to the first landing. Another fifteen to what looks like a hallway with private rooms. The building feels different and empty—more threatening, somehow.
“I won’t lie to you.” He moves closer, his hulking frame invading my three-foot bubble. “I’m a little confused about the two of you and what you are.”
My shoulders tense. “Is that a question?”
His dark laugh makes me shiver, and not in a good way. “Come on, Salem. Don’t play dumb. We both know Lee’s preferences. His … inclinations.”
“Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My voice shakes, giving away the lie.
“No?” He stops abruptly at the top of the landing, and I’m forced to stop too or run into him. “The arrests? The bar fights? The guys he’s been caught with?” He turns to face me, and his smile is nothing short of predatory.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about …” This isn’t my story to tell, and even if Aries and Lee have been friends forever, I don’t want to give away Lee’s and my agreement. Not if Lee hasn’t revealed it himself.
“Lee’s my best friend. I know everything there is to know about him, and this—whatever he’s doing with you …”
My heart jumps inside my chest. I press myself against the wall, trying to maintain distance without looking afraid. “Did you say Lee was here somewhere?”
“Of course.” He steps closer, trapping me against the wall, his movements predatory, his features dark. My breath hitches, and panic makes my vision narrow. “But while I escort you, maybe we should talk about what’s really going on between you two. About the real reason he’s with you.”
My gloved hands shake as I try to count the wallpaper patterns behind him.
One, two, three fleurs-de-lis. Again. Again. Again. It doesn’t stop the panic clinging to my bones like a second skin. “I need to …” I try to slip past him, but he lifts his arm and blocks my path. Fear wraps around my limbs.
Why did I listen to him? Why did I come here?
“Need to what?” His breath hits my cheek, and I fight the urge to scrub my skin. “Run? Hide? Count things until you feel safe?”
“Don’t—”
“Or maybe …” His voice drops lower. “You need to hear the truth about your boyfriend . About what we really do here at The Mill. About how brothers share everything.”
I don’t understand what he’s saying, but his implications make bile rise in my throat. This isn’t right. Lee wouldn’t set this up. Wouldn’t let his friend intimidate me. Lee wouldn’t hurt me… right?
“There’s his room.” Aries finally steps back, gesturing to a door at the end of the hall. “Why don’t we go in and talk to him together?”
My options collapse around me like falling dominoes.
Can’t go back downstairs alone.
Can’t stay here with Aries.
Can’t run without looking crazy.
Can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t ? —
“After you.” He smirks, placing his hand on my lower back. The fear I feel is fleeting when I remind myself of who I am and how far I’ve come. Did Lee set this all up? If Lee wants to hurt me, he’ll have to try harder. I bolt forward, away from Aries’s touch and toward Lee’s door.
Anger grips me as I reach for the handle. If this is some kind of test, some cruel joke between Lee and his best friend … The door swings open, and rage propels me forward.
The familiar scent of Lee’s cologne mixed with soap and humidity fills my nostrils first. Then I notice the steam rolling out from what must be an attached bathroom.
“If this is some kind of sick joke—” I start yelling, my voice tight with anger and betrayal.
All those careful weeks of trust-building, of him learning my patterns, of me actually believing someone could understand my broken pieces—was it all just leading to this? Some elaborate prank with his best friend?
The words die in my throat when I round the corner and enter the bedroom area to find Lee standing there in all his naked glory, droplets of water clinging to his skin.
I watch as the droplets trail down his chest, catching in the late afternoon sunlight that filters through the window behind him. His brown hair is darker, almost black when wet, and pushed back from his face. His eyes are warm, intense, and brimmed with shock.
I lick my lips involuntarily, heat rushing to my core. Stop staring. Don’t look down. Don’t do it. But the more I tell myself not to do it, the more I’m tempted to, and against my better judgment, I let my gaze drift. Every muscle, every line, every inch of him is on display, and my brain short-circuits.
One drop of water slides down his abdomen.
Two seconds of absolute silence.
Three racing heartbeats.
“Salem?” His voice is rough, mixed with a hitch of surprise. Yet he makes no effort to cover himself. If anything, he straightens, allowing me to get a better look at him.
Close your eyes. Run away. Look at the floor.
I do none of those things. I simply stand there frozen in time, cataloging details I shouldn’t want to notice.
The way his muscles flex as he shifts.
The trail of dark brown hair leading down his stomach.
The obvious evidence that he’s affected by my presence.
The intensity in his storm-gray eyes as they lock with mine.
“I …” My voice trembles, and I’m not even sure how I manage to speak right now. “Aries said …”
“Aries?” The way he says his friend’s name, appearing to be as confused as I am, tells me all I need to know.
Oh god. Lee’s expression changes in an instant as he mentally puts the pieces together. That soft look in his eyes transforms into something dark and dangerous in seconds.
I spin around, face flaming, only to find Aries leaning against the closed door with a satisfied smirk. I don’t mean to, but I flinch when he reaches behind him, the sound of the lock engaging deafening.
“Surprise,” he drawls, and I realize with horror that I’ve walked right into whatever terrible plan he had. Caught like a mouse in a trap looking for a quick escape, I glance back at Lee and then check my exits.
There are none. There is no escape.
“What the fuck did you do, Aries?” Lee growls, and his timbre makes me shiver. Time suspends like honey dripping from a spoon—thick, slow, inevitable. I can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but stand there caught between them. The steam from Lee’s shower makes everything hazy, and for a moment, I wonder if all of this is merely a dream.
Reality crashes into me hard and fast when Aries clears his throat.
“Little ole me? Oh, I didn’t do anything. Just being a good friend and helping things along.” Aries’s voice is filled with false innocence. “I saw Salem here in passing and thought since you’re together now, her being your girlfriend, she might want to see what she’s said yes to.”
“What we are, or aren’t, isn’t any of your business,” Lee growls. “Salem isn’t your concern.”
“I didn’t say she was my concern, but I guess it doesn’t really matter since it’s all fake, right?” His gaze bounces between us, watching our faces and our reactions.
The word fake lands like a slap against my cheek. And when his eyes narrow, I know I just confirmed it.
Is it really that obvious? It shouldn’t matter if Aries knows our relationship is nothing but an act; he is Lee’s best friend, after all. But if he sees it so easily, are we really going to be able to sell this to his family? I peek back at Lee.
He remains standing, with little care for his current state of nudity. My cheeks heat to the temperature of the sun. Don’t stare at his junk, Salem. One look at his face, and I know he’s close to detonation. Drops of water continue to trail down his muscled chest and abdomen, each one distracting me further, and right now, he looks less like a Greek statue and more like an avenging angel.
“Salem.” Lee’s voice is deadly quiet. “Come here.”
“Don’t,” Aries counters. “He’s playing you. Has been this whole time. The perfect gentleman act, the careful distance, pretending to be?—”
“Shut up. What we’re doing, who she is to me—it’s none of your concern.” Lee takes a step forward, all predatory grace, and my breath catches. “Salem. Come. Here.”
One foot moves forward without my permission.
Two warring instincts: run or stay.
Three seconds before everything explodes.
“You should see your face.” Aries laughs bitterly. “Both of your faces. All this pretending, these carefully constructed lies. If you really want to convince people, you need?—”
Whatever he was going to say gets cut off when Lee lunges at him. Moving with shocking speed, he pins Aries to the door with his forearm across his throat.
Side by side, they’re about the same height, but Aries is bigger, with more muscle and weight on him. Somehow, that doesn’t seem to matter. Anyone with enough anger can be dangerous if given the right incentive.
But all I can see looking at them are the long white streaks across Lee’s back. Pale white lines over his shoulder blades, his lower back, even his butt. Mark after mark. There has to be at least thirty of them.
I cup my hand over my face and gasp, but he doesn’t hear me.
“If you ever,” Lee growls through his teeth, the word bitten off, “come near her again …”
The clear threat hangs unfinished in the air. Aries’s eyes widen with something that looks like fear.
I should be doing a lot of other things right now like counting, cleaning, or running. I should be doing anything except noticing how the muscles in his back flex, how powerful he looks, how much I want … yet I can’t help but wonder about those scars.
“Salem.” Lee’s voice slices through me, dragging me back to the present. He hasn’t looked away from Aries or moved an inch. “Go into the bathroom and wait for me.”
“But—”
“Now!” It’s not a request.
I can’t think of a response, so I do as I’m told and flee into the steam-filled room, slamming the door behind me. Is it true? Is this really nothing but a game to him? It seems unlikely, but how can I really know? I’ve been fooled before.
I press my gloved hands against the sink and try to breathe. Thoughts swim in my head, and my throat tightens. On the other side of the door, I hear Aries’s voice, only vaguely muffled by the door.
“You can’t keep pretending forever.”
“Shut the fuck up! You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do. My love life is none of your business. It’s no one’s business. We might be friends, but you’ve taken shit too far this time!”
I don’t want to hear this . I cover my ears with my hands and pace from one side of the bathroom to the next, my eyes darting around. Exit. I need an exit.
Outside, Lee and Aries continue to argue. I don’t understand why this is such a big deal to Aries or why he’s inserting himself in the middle of things. Does he think I’ll rub off on Lee or something? I utter a choked laugh, the sound echoing back harshly from the tiled walls. Maybe he’s worried I’ll turn him into a freak just like me?
Jesus. He’s not wrong.
My anxiety climbs higher and higher. I peer around the room, looking for a way out, an outlet, something, anything to help. An amber bottle sits on the counter near the sink.
“Don’t act like you’re actually interested in this girl. We both know you aren’t. This is some fucked-up game because you’re bored.”
Anything but that. I’m terrified to realize, suddenly, that I really, really don’t want that to be the case. I actually like Lee.
My breath hitches, and my chest squeezes hard and painfully. Before I know it, I’m reaching for the bottle of pills like they’re a lifeline. Maybe they’re the same thing my doctor gave me to stop the noise. Perhaps they’re not. I don’t think it matters.
Lee’s response is too quiet for my ears to hear. The next thing I know, the door to the bedroom slams closed, the sound rattling through me.
One minute of silence.
Two racing hearts.
Three impossible truths:
I’m in Lee Sterling’s bathroom.
He’s still naked on the other side of this door.
And nothing about my emotions right now feels fake.
“Salem?” His voice is closer now, softer. “We need to talk.”
Yes.
We really do.
But first, I need to remember how to breathe.