Chapter 24
Solana Damita Ledesma
You can do it, Solana. You can do it, Solana. You can do it, Solana.
Repeating those five words over in my head had been the distraction I needed from the burn of my calf muscles.
I’d been pacing for hours in this closet.
I was sure that when I looked down, I’d see track marks from my feet being pushed into the wooden floorboards.
I’d come in here a few hours ago after a much-needed cold shower and was triggered by what had been left on the closet island.
I needed to get my shit together. I needed to get my head in the game.
My fiancée had come into town, and now, Shio…
Shio.
We’d kissed. Shio and I had kissed last night, and it caught me off guard.
I didn’t know what to do besides sit there and let him take the lead.
The way he sucked on my lips and then my tongue had ignited flames throughout my body.
I’d never felt the way he made my body feel.
If he could do all that just by kissing, I naturally wondered what he’d do with his other body parts.
However, when I swallowed my fear and approached Shio late last night, asking for a life with him, he had rejected me.
I understood his reasoningI was a woman sired by my father and promised to another man.
He was a member of an American mob where he had a Don to answer to.
Shio made it clear that his actions at the club were still true, along with his promise that Felipe would never touch me again, and I believed him.
I didn’t know what was more frightening: the fact that I believed Shio or facing my father’s wrath once he learned of what had occurred.
Ines had promised the Rodríguezes Cartel a daughter, and he would stop at nothing to make sure they got one.
My father was unpredictable, and I’d seen what he’d done to the rest of our family for the sake of street politics.
Nothing stood in the way of what he wanted, and I was no exception.
My eyes moved to the island that housed the last perfume I’d used, along with the earrings and the purse I wore to the club.
Shio had given me so much in such a short time.
The closet wasn’t full since it was large in size, but for a stranger he didn’t know that was supposed to be visiting temporarily, he ensured I had more than I needed.
Shio was a man of class. Nothing in his home was cheap, and he made sure I wore nothing cheap while in his home.
He was a unique man. He was the man little girls dreamed of.
He was a protector, a believer in God, family-oriented, wealthy, and dominante (dominant) in every way.
He’d proven to be the ultimate alpha, a boss.
Although he had the backing of the Rinaldi Mob and his family, he still commanded respect as his own person. That’s why I had to do right.
Sé fuerte, Solana. (Be strong, Solana.)
I had to get my act together so I could stand beside him with a clear mind when things hit the fan with the Ledesma and Rodríguezes Cartels.
My mind was a mixture of hope and fear. Although Shio had said we could not be intimate, I still had hope for my future now that I’d seen what was possible.
But the newfound hope had doubled the normal fear that lived within me.
Most of my life, I’d known I was expendable to my father.
He held me closer to his heart than the rest of my siblings, but being the only girl meant I was the most valuable to him.
I had no hope in Mexico. Hope was as foreign to me as America had been the past three weeks.
I knew what my fate was and had come to terms with it before I’d stepped foot in Jagoda Bay, Tennessee.
Shio and the American mob wives had come along and given me hope.
I’d never once felt like I could be freed from the arranged marriage until I was put in the presence of that man.
I’d never felt like life could be lived carefree and luxuriously before meeting those gorgeous women who gave me the best night of my life yesterday.
A real man had shown me so much in less than a month’s time, and I would be forever grateful for him introducing me to his world.
So, even though I knew Shio would give it everything he had to protect me, even though he couldn’t love me, that scared me. I didn’t want my hope in what my life could be to get him killed. I’d surrender in a heartbeat before I let anyone harm him over me.
Looking at the closet island, I turned away, continuing my steps to prevent me from doing what I really wanted to do.
Clink. Clack.
Bang.
Boom.
Clank.
Gasping, I nearly leapt across the closet as the sound of something hitting the wall startled me.
Icy fear twisted around my heart, and my stomach clenched tight.
Shio wasn’t here. I hadn’t slept in today and went to find him, but when I noticed that the gym, his office, and bedroom were empty, I came back into the bedroom thinking he’d left to put some space between us.
He always knocked on the door when he left and when he arrived back at the house, so I either had been dead asleep when he left, or he hadn’t notified me.
Whatever that noise was, it wasn’t him. An intruder had entered his home, and I knew exactly who it was: Felipe.
Looking around the closet, I eyed my weapons of choice.
There was nothing but heels, purses, jewelry, perfume, clothing, hangers, and evidence of last night’s sins.
Panic was rioting within me. I wasn’t going down without a fight.
If I were going to turn myself over to the Rodríguezes, it would be on my terms, and after I had my closure with the man who had come into my life like a drill sergeant but now felt like an angel.
“The gun.”
Rushing from the closet, my bare feet slapping against the wood floors, I went to the dresser.
It was the same dresser Shio had been getting pleasured near when I’d first arrived.
I remembered he had pulled a gun from behind it and was hoping he’d put it back.
Using the little strength I had, I pushed the dresser forward and saw a gun tucked in a holster attached to the back of the mirror.
I didn’t know how to use or hold a gun, but I wrapped my hand around it and pulled it to my chest. After opening the door, I stuck my head out to look down the hall and noticed one of the paintings was crooked.
Trying to remain as light on my feet as possible, my breath seemed to have solidified in my throat. I clenched the gun in my hands as my chest pounded so hard that it pained me.
Clank. Thump.
The sounds were coming from his office. Blinking, I nervously bit my lip as I approached the room. I pointed the gun at the room’s doorway and pulled the trigger as soon as I stepped inside. The gun made a clicking sound, but nothing came out.
“Solana?”
The thrill of frightened anticipation touched my spine, but when I saw who it was in the room, I dropped the gun.
“Solana…”
My pulse beat erratically at the sound of his deep voice.
Shio looked like he’d been through hell and back.
His clothing—whatever the hell they were—had been torn and ripped.
He had some hideous sandals on his feet, and I could see sand in his toes.
He was leaning against his desk, and his eyes looked cloudy.
It was like he was looking at me, but he wasn’t.
He tried sitting on the desk, making it shift, knocking the money counter and the worn leather notebook onto the floor.
I’d been curious about that same notebook when he taught me to count money yesterday, but I wouldn’t dare disrespect him by snooping.
Looking from the floor back to him, I gasped as realization hit me.
Shio had clearly been hurt.
Rushing to his side, I grabbed his muscled arm to stop him from toppling over.
“?Shio? ?Qué pasa? ?Quién te hizo esto? (Shio? What’s the matter? Who did this to you?)”
He winced as I held on to him. Still, he looked so sexy even in the state of distress.
“Solana… English, baby. I can’t fuckin’ think right now.”
“Okay.” I sucked in air, trying to gather strength to steady him.
The muscles of his forearm hardened beneath the sleeve of his torn, cropped shirt. The thought of the Rodríguezes getting to him made my mind flutter with anxiety. The thought of what happened to the bottom half of his shirt and all the dried blood on his skin had me thinking the worst.
“Help me… Help me get to my bathroom. I came in here to disable the alarm. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
A pulsing knot within me demanded more of an explanation than what he’d given me.
I needed to know if he was in danger. I needed to know how this had happened.
Instead of asking, I took his left arm and draped it around my shoulders since there was a gold box in his right hand.
I swallowed underneath him but still pressed a hand to the side of his abs.
He smelled of sweat, mildew, and heat. Still, a hint of his signature scent was lingering, and it was a delicious one.
Once we got to the door of the office, he paused. When his mouth lifted into a crooked smile as he looked down at me, my heart pounded. There was definitely something wrong with his eyes, and it made my chest feel as if it was about to burst. What had they done to him?
“I gotta teach you how to use a fuckin’ gun, Solana. Lesson number six: take the fucking safety off before making your presence known. Aite?”
Batting away tears, I nodded. “Si. I mean… Yes.”
Using his top teeth, he scraped his bottom lip before we continued our stroll to his bedroom.
He hadn’t put any of his weight on me. No matter how much I tried to get him to lean on me, he wouldn’t.
He wasn’t even letting me guide him, moving from memory of his home by heart as he navigated us. Still, I remained at his side.