Chapter 18 Heartbreaker #2
I shook my head, craving something heavier.
“How about Italian? There’s a new Italian restaurant that just opened, and their handmade pasta is really good.
” Before I could point him in the right direction, music began to play out of nowhere.
I looked around, like many others, to find the source.
There were large speakers outside the music hall.
I smiled, thinking they’d play a few holiday tunes, maybe “The Monster Mash.” Suddenly, a group of people who’d previously looked to be casually crossing Main Street froze, then lurched their hands forward in sync.
On second glance, their torn shirts and creepy makeup should have gotten a second glance from all of us.
But in Tarrytown, everyone gets to express themselves however they want, so it wasn’t unusual for people to dress a little differently, and it was October, after all.
The group began to dance as “Thriller” by Michael Jackson blasted from the speakers.
A crowd lined the sidewalk, watching as the dancers moved their bodies like zombies in time to the music.
Thad and I stood in front of the nail salon.
From outside the music hall, smoke billowed from a smoke machine.
I stood there grinning like a child, chills running down my arms, totally caught in the moment. Halloween magic.
When I looked over at Thad, he was nodding at the performance.
The lights hit his features just right, adding definition to his chiseled face.
Your jawline is already sharper than a razor.
How do you manage to look even more like a model?
Life wasn’t fair, apparently. A man like Thaddeus could mesmerize with the most basic movements; even the bob of his broad neck demanded attention.
He stood with his hands tucked into his pants, eyes locked on the dancers as they strutted their stuff.
I had to admit they were pretty impressive, but Thad was the only attraction on Main Street I couldn’t take my eyes off of.
He smiled from ear to ear. I watched the lines that formed around the corners of his eyes, and wondered why his looked so beautiful, while mine made me look old. Ugh! Suddenly, it hit me.
I must be in love. They talked about it all the time, how falling for someone could make even their birthmark a work of art in your eyes.
Gosh, I do sound like a hopeless romantic.
As the realization dawned on me, I couldn’t believe I’d seriously fallen for Thaddeus again.
Whether it had returned or was always there, buried under all my hate and resentment, I didn’t know.
In that moment, I just accepted it. There was no use in fighting any longer.
For me, everything would always be about him.
He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “They’re pretty good, aren’t they?”
I smiled. “They sure are.”
Joining hands, I led Thad to the restaurant as the dancers received their applause.
Thaddeus
My phone rang. Lifting it to my ear, I said, “Yes?”
“Thad. It’s Daisy.” She spoke in a shaky voice.
Immediately, the call transplanted me back to that terrifying time. Sweat lined my forehead. I trembled, wondering what life-shattering news Daisy would deliver this time.
“What?”
“You won’t tell Summer will you? That it was me who told you?”
I finally released the breath I had been holding. This call wasn’t going to shatter my life. “No.”
“Thanks.”
Loosening my tie, I explained in detail. “Daisy, I’m not trying to lie to Summer, but it would devastate her, and it finally occurred to me that loving her means it’s my job to go out of my way to prevent that from happening . . . again.”
The woman started to cry and rambled into my ears. “I made a mistake.”
“Depending on who you ask, we both did. Plus, I don’t want to take another person away from Summer. I already took Clive.”
Daisy took a deep breath. “Guess we have to find some way to coexist. Summer is an important part of my life.”
We chatted for a minute, attempting stumbling small talk before we gave up and ended the call.
I had an important appointment.
Forgetting everything that happened in the past just wasn’t an option for Summer and me.
Every time I stopped by her house, I remembered the night I’d ended Clive’s life.
And, more than likely, she recalled the last time she saw my mother when she entered mine.
That was why I accepted her invitation to do a therapy session with her.
While I’d been the one to suggest Summer had therapy, I’d never wanted to sit and talk to anyone about my feelings.
There was a therapist in prison who kept offering his services, but I was adamant.
“I don’t lose sleep over killing Clive.”
“Not even the people you hurt as collateral damage?” the therapist had asked.
Back then, I pretended his words hadn’t affected me, but I remembered Summer screaming, her blood-covered face, and then I’d ordered Henry to manipulate Eden to connect her with a therapist.
All these years later, I found myself making my way to that same therapist’s office to meet Summer there. Life was stranger than fiction every day of the week.
Twenty minutes later, Marni Rosenblatt stood before me, smiling and ready to crack my thoughts wide open in the comfort of her floral-scented office.
“Come in, Thad, and let me congratulate you before we start,” she said, reaching for a pen and pad. I could just imagine how many pads Summer had filled over the years because of me killing her father.
“Thanks,” I said, looking around.
When I sat, Summer frowned. “What?”
“Normally, I lie back, but I can’t if you sit there.”
Marni giggled, but I didn’t get the joke. “Should I sit somewhere else?”
“Summer, can you share your couch and life with Thad, or would you like to be all alone?”
Rolling her eyes, Summer sighed. “Fine, you can sit here.”
I was about to question whether she meant it when Marni jumped right in. “Thaddeus, do you still believe in an eye for an eye?”
I thought carefully about my answer. Summer and I were making progress, and I didn’t want this to turn into another argument. “That’s the past.”
The woman didn’t let up. “You have to examine the past for you to both move forward.”
I swallowed. “My feelings on the subject haven’t changed.”
Marni nodded. Summer’s chest deflated beside me.
“I’m sorry, but I’m just not about to sit back and let the people I love get killed. If someone did something to my child or Summer, I’d react the same way.”
The silence in the room was deafening. “I know now how much I hurt Summer, and that wasn’t my intention. However, does anyone really understand how difficult forgiveness is?”
“Yes, I do, but I’ve forgiven you,” Summer blurted out.
This was news to me, and from the look on the therapist, she’d also never heard it before.
“Have you really?” Marni confirmed.
Summer nodded. “I have. My dad, even Gina, wanted us to be together, and we love each other. I’ve forgiven you, even though you’d never ask for it.”
Hearing the words from her mouth eased my tension, if only slightly.
Smiling, Marni looked at me. “Can you forgive Clive?”
I chewed my lip. “Maybe with more time.”
Summer took my hand and patted it affectionately. I wasn’t lying completely. Who knows what would happen down the line? After ten years, I forgave Summer. Maybe after another twenty, I could manage to forgive her dad. It was highly unlikely, but not impossible.
“Well, it’s a start,” Marni said.
For the rest of the session, we talked about our time apart, how we’d both loudly proclaimed hate or disgust over each other, but secretly loved the other, although we hadn’t realized it. Before I knew it, the session was over.
“Can you both do me one favor? Just be open to each other, for yourselves and the baby.”
We agreed.
As we made our way to work, Summer read something on her phone that made her cry.
“Bad news?”
She wiped her face. “Mr. Dorman died.”
He was a very old man. It wasn’t exactly a shock. I patted Summer’s arm and controlled the wheel with my free hand.
“He had a good life. Someone like Mr. Dorman, with so many family memories, isn’t regretful when their time is up.”
Summer was in a somber mood the rest of the day. I didn’t need any added confirmation that I’d fallen for her, but the fact my mood plummeted with hers was proof that this was no mistake. I wanted to see her happy. Her, our child, all of us.
I suggested she go home early, rest up, and we’d meet later. The outing I’d been dreading now seemed the perfect way to lift her spirits.
After an early dinner, we walked down Main Street and turned off a side street to patronize a grand opening.
Tarrytown now had a karaoke bar! Normally, this wasn’t my vibe, but it was Daisy’s birthday.
I wasn’t her biggest fan, but Summer was, and so I was in attendance.
I sat in the back of the booth, sipping a drink from a plastic cup and ignoring the scratchy material of the cushion beneath me.
The lighting was too bright, and the art on the wall was hideous, but I couldn’t have been happier to be there alongside Henry as Summer took her turn on the microphone.
Henry wrinkled his face, and I furrowed my brow at him.
I tapped his shoulder. “You okay?”
Widening his eyes, Henry pointed at Summer.
Looking from him to her and back, I was more confused. “What?”
Seconds passed as Henry stared at me. “Don’t you hear it?”
Hear what? Summer was singing a love ballad by Whitney Houston, and I’d been back here telling myself it was meant for me.
“She sounds terrible.”
My mouth peeled back in a snarl. Henry obviously needed to get his ears checked. This was my first time hearing Summer sing, but she had a voice that could win awards.
“Stop joking!” I said.
The notes she swung out at the chorus gave me chills. I was pretty sure you only got those from the best vocalists. Hell, I didn’t think I’d even moved this much when Whitney was on stage.
Taking a swig of his beer, Henry looked at me. “You mean she isn’t hurting your ears too? Are you wearing earplugs?”
A streak of annoyance shot through me. I had to pause for a moment and loosen my balled fists, reminding myself that Henry liked to joke around. “Stop playing.”
Henry arched a brow. “Wait, you really like it?”
We sat next to each other, both of us waiting for the other to admit they were pulling the other’s leg.
“Damn, you have it bad, man.” Henry shook his head, smiling. “Really bad if you can pretend she’s not only singing off-key but completely ruining that song.”
Slamming my beer onto the table, I looked away from him and at Summer. I tuned out the music and really listened to her sing. Yep, just as I thought, the voice of an angel.
Daisy and Eden came to the booth to grab a beer.
Eden gave me a pained look. “Guess it’s up to you to keep Summer away from karaoke for the rest of her life.”
Hearing her words, Henry spat his beer all over his shirt and the table.
Ignoring him, I looked at Daisy. “IS she bad?”
“Bad would be an improvement,” Daisy muttered.
Then why don’t I hear it?