6. Thea
Chapter 6
Thea
I do another deep breathing exercise as soon as Jasper’s cabin comes into view. It’s Friday, and Valentine’s Day is this weekend. I took the day off from work so I could drive up here.
Everyone at my office probably thinks I have a sexy date for the most romantic week of the year. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m going to deliver a message to the world’s hottest mountain man. A mountain man that knows every inch of my body and says the filthiest things to me while he’s coming deep inside my pussy.
Gathering my courage, I force myself to walk up Jasper’s porch. My legs shake, and memories of last time I showed up on someone’s porch unannounced replay in my mind. I force the bad memories back. That doesn’t matter now.
All that matters is that I give Jasper the message. After that, what he does with the information is up to him.
When he doesn’t answer the doorbell on the first ring, I’m tempted to leave. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t try. But I remember my baby and hold onto my resolve for a moment longer. I ring the bell a second time, and that’s when I hear loud stomping.
For a moment I wonder if he’s going to be furious with me. It took the two of us to make a little life, but some guys don’t see it that way. Not that it matters. Whatever happens, my baby is growing up loved. I’ll make sure of that.
Jasper yanks open the door, and I’m instantly lost in his chocolate gaze all over again. I want to fling myself into his arms and tell him how much I’ve missed him. I want to beg him to hold me so I can finally get a good night’s sleep. But I don’t do any of that.
“Hey…” The word comes out shaky and too high.
I’ve negotiated deals for millions of dollars, given presentations to rooms filled with men who have the power to make and break industry names, but I’ve never been this nervous.
Shock flickers on his handsome face before he schools his expression. He’s hard to read and for a moment, I wish I could hear his thoughts. “Hey, beautiful.”
My cheeks warm but this is no time for me to get distracted by my crush on him. No, it’s better to tell him the truth right now so he can reject me quickly. It’ll sting less that way. “I’m pregnant.”
He looks me up and down, jaw slack. “P-Pregnant?”
“And it’s—” I rush to add. I haven’t thought of being with another man since he touched me. His are the only hands I want on my body and ever since I got pregnant, I ache for his touch again. I squeeze my thighs together even now remembering the beard burn between them from last time.
“It’s mine,” he sounds almost angry when he says the words and slams the door closed.
I deflate, closing my eyes for a brief moment. “At least that’s over.”
Now I’m going to drive back to Nashville and find the best pie in town. I’m going to eat as much of it as I can and not feel hurt about this.
“It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t want us,” I whisper to my baby.
I turn to leave the porch, but the door swings open again. Only now, Jasper is holding out a ring box to me. In his deepest growl, he says, “Marry me.”
“What?” I sputter. I can’t believe this. This isn’t the 1950s. His words are the last thing I expected after the way he slammed the door.
“We’ll be a family,” he says it so confidently, like the matter is already settled.
“Absolutely not,” I insist, thinking of my mom. I was a backseat baby that my dad didn’t stick around to help raise. My mom spent the first eighteen years of my life constantly reminding me of what a terrible burden my existence is.
His expression changes, becoming even more steely. If I thought he looked determined before, it’s nothing compared to how he looks now.
For a moment, I know how this might appear through his eyes, and I soften. “Listen, I don’t want anything from you. I thought you had the right to know. I’ll never restrict your access to the baby. You can even come to the doctor’s appointments. The first one is not until—”
“That’s not good enough. I want everything with you,” he insists.
I swallow hard. It’s the hormones that have me wanting to let him open the box and slide the ring on my finger. “We can be friends that happily co-parent. It’ll be like a road trip adventure.”
An unexpected road trip adventure that lasts for eighteen years with the hottest man I’ve ever met.
Finally, Jasper tucks the ring box into the pocket of his shirt. Who has an engagement ring lying around? How did he have such quick and easy access to one?
He seems to have accepted my suggestion that this is a road trip adventure, and I sigh in relief. Now that we’ve gotten that over with, we can both be sensible.
But what he says next changes everything, because he grabs my hand and places it over his flannel shirt, right where his heart thuds softly under my palm.. “We’re soulmates. I know you feel it too.”
I shake my head and glance away from that brown gaze that’s holding me hostage. What would it be like to accept his offer and let him slide that ring on my finger? For a second, I ache to tell him I lied, and I want the whole fairytale with him. But then I remember my mom’s words echoing from the past. You’re my burden, my curse. You’ve ruined everything.
I can’t let him say that one day, so I brace myself against the longing. It doesn’t matter if he believes we’re soulmates in this moment. One day, he’ll grow to resent me and our child. I can’t let that happen to my baby.
“I’m here to exchange phone numbers and contact information. We can discuss everything over the phone,” I answer as if I didn’t drive seven hours to see him again. Because I had to see him again. Because I wondered what his face would look like when I told him.
He squeezes my hand tighter and glances at the sky as if he’s looking for something, but I don’t know what. “I made stew, and I slid a cherry pie in the oven. Why don’t you eat something before you hit the road again?”
My stomach chooses that moment to rumble loudly, and I nod. “I’m only coming inside for pie.”
He nods a little too quickly. “Sure.”
I follow him inside the cabin, instantly feeling the calm surrounding me. The smell of stew and pie hit my nose, making my mouth water. The fireplace is crackling cheerfully in the corner, and the wall of windows are showcasing bare trees reaching toward an eerie gray sky.
Those things are the same, but the rest of the cabin looks so different. There are cardboard boxes scattered everywhere and most of the decorations are gone. It doesn’t look nearly as cozy and warm here. “Oh, you’re moving.”
I can’t imagine why someone would ever want to move from this secret little retreat. It’s the perfect place to hide away from the world. If I had it, I’d drive here every Friday and spend my weekends exploring the mountains and eating cherry pie in front of the crackling fireplace.
He opens his mouth to say something at the exact moment the smell of the cooking stew turns my stomach. I still remember my way around the house like there’s a map tattooed in my brain. I race for the bathroom, getting there in time to empty my stomach.
Jasper is beside me, holding my hair. When I’m finally done, I lean into him. He rubs my back in a soothing circle and murmurs little nothings under his breath. But his quiet rumble fills me with peace. What would it be like to have him by my side through this whole pregnancy? What would it be like to not be alone for once?
“Is that normal?” He asks after I’ve had a swish of his mouthwash and color is starting to return to my cheeks.
“It’s part of morning sickness, which starts earlier for some women than others,” I explain. “My reading indicated that it’ll most likely get better in the next trimester so only a few weeks of that if I’m lucky.”
“Do you still want food?” He glances at the window again as he asks.
“Yeah, but I’ll skip the stew for now. The idea of meat…” I let my voice trail off, making a face.
“Coming right up,” he promises.
I sit in the living room on his big couch where I can stare out the windows. He’s so lucky to have this view. When I look out of my apartment window, all I see is more apartments. I can’t imagine getting to see this every day.
He returns with a huge slab of cherry pie and passes me a fork. The moment I take the first bite, my whole body relaxes. There’s something about Jasper’s food. “How do you make the cherries so fresh?”
“I grow, can, and preserve most of my own food. Fewer additives and chemicals.” He’s stretched out on the other side of his couch, one of his big arms along the back. If I were sitting an inch or two closer, he could reach out and touch my shoulder. “What I can’t grow myself, I trade some of the other men on the mountain for.”
“And the flaky pie crust?” I ask as it melts in my mouth. I can taste the real butter in every bite.
“Also homemade,” he answers.
“But now you’re moving somewhere else. Will you grow your own food at your new place?” I ask, wondering about that again. We never did get to discuss where he’s going or what he’ll do.
“How’s the pregnancy been so far other than the…” he gestures in the direction of his hallway that leads to the bathroom.
I put my fork down on the saucer that I’ve practically licked clean and place the dish on his coffee table. “Other than that, my feet hurt a lot. I thought it was years of wearing heels catching up with me.”
He reaches for my leg. Slipping the shoe off, he starts a slow massage of the sole of my foot that makes me relax even more. It should be illegal what this man can do with his tongue and his fingers.
“That feels very nice. I’m so sleepy,” I murmur, letting my head fall back against the soft cushions and my eyes drift closed. In Nashville, I’m always on my own. No one is looking out for me. But every time I’m with Jasper, he’s taking care of me in some small way.
“That’s right. Rest for a minute,” he croons softly.