The Nature of Love (Love in the Spotlight #3)

Chapter 19

Nineteen

Chris’s three-story home did not provide the amount of space I needed.

Everywhere I turned, his comforting scent followed. How did the man hang around animals all day and work outdoors but not stink? Talk about unreal. Instead, he smelled like pine or something woodsy. My senses went on high alert whenever I caught the aroma trailing him like a cartoon. Guess that made me a toucan, because I definitely wanted to follow my nose.

You’re losing it, Erykah. Get it together.

Someone with my education shouldn’t be having a mind melt whenever a certain man neared. I’d managed to get all the way to forty-one and not lose my cool over a man. But remembering the way he cupped my cheek, eyes darkening with intent to kiss ... Well, there was a first time for everything.

But that’s an event I refuse to think about.

I swallowed. I needed space.

Taking dinner out of the oven, I set the dish on top of the stove. A piercing scream rent the air.

“C heyenne!” I dropped the oven mitts and raced to the living room.

Cheyenne held her left hand as tears streamed down her face.

“What happened, sweetie?” I dropped to my knees, trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

“Are you okay?” Chris huffed as he ran in from wherever he’d been.

“No,” Cheyenne wailed. “There’s a piece of wood sticking out of my finger.”

I blinked. That 1970s horror scream had stopped my heart because of a splinter?

“Let me see.” Chris knelt down before her. “Oh yeah, I see it. I can pull it out.”

“No way!” Cheyenne jerked her finger, then whimpered. “It hurts too bad.”

“Sweetie, if you let Chris take it out, it’ll feel better.”

The shade my niece tossed me would’ve shaken me coming from an adult. As it was, I had to bite down on my lip to keep from laughing. How had I never known how much of a drama queen Cheye was?

Tears pricked my eyes as I thought of Ellynn missing this.

“How about you hold Charlie while I take it out?” Chris asked. “That way he’ll make sure you won’t feel any pain.”

“He’s a puppy. He doesn’t have powers like that.”

Chris’s lips twitched as if suppressing a smile. “Actually, holding dogs has been scientifically proven to make us happier. So if you’re happy while I remove this piece of wood, you won’t notice when it’s gone. Well, you will because the pain will go away too.”

“You promise?” she asked so quietly, I almost had to lean forward to hear her.

“Promise.”

“O -kay,” she drawled out.

Chris headed to his room to get tweezers while I went to find Charlie. I found him in the girls’ room, guarding Ash while she lay asleep in the crib. How she hadn’t woken up from a scream that would make Jamie Lee Curtis proud, I didn’t know. But I was thankful. Ash had been extra cranky lately, and the internet searches I’d conducted told me she was probably teething ... or grieving. I hated that I didn’t know which was which.

“All right, Cheyenne. I’ve got my make-you-feel-better kit ready,” Chris said.

This. This was why it was hard to keep my wits about me. How was Chris so kind, charming, and just downright sweet? The part of my heart I’d buried deep inside seemed to awaken with every act of kindness he performed.

Cheye wrapped an arm around Charlie, and he snuggled in closer. She squeezed her eyes tight and held out her forefinger.

“Wow, you’re so brave,” Chris said.

I watched as he pulled the splinter out in one go. My heart swelled at how calm he was. Chris was an amazing man.

“Ta-da.” Chris held up the splinter in front of Cheyenne.

Her mouth dropped open. “But it’s so tiny.”

“I know. Sometimes it’s the tiniest of things that really hurt.”

Her brow furrowed, but she said nothing else.

I turned to Chris and mouthed, Thank you.

Of course , he mouthed back.

I let my cheeks curve upward in hopes that the feelings gathering steam in my chest would lessen. He just had to keep saving us over and over again. Surely this wasn’t real affection filling my heart to the brim, but some kind of love-of-rescuer complex. I shook my head. Was that a real thing?

“A re you okay now?” I asked Cheyenne.

“Yeah.”

“Hug?” I held out my arms, hoping this was the right next step.

Cheyenne launched herself at me, and I had to brace myself to prevent us from tipping backward. My forty-plus-year-old body did not like the catapult motion. Still, I wrapped my arms around her and murmured, “All better now.”

It’s what I imagined a mom would say, maybe even what Ellynn had said to soothe her daughter in the past. I’ll make you proud, Ell. The girls will know how much you loved them and how much I do too. I swallowed.

“I miss Mommy and Daddy,” Cheye whispered.

“I miss them too.” I kept my tone low, not wanting to ruin the moment. She wasn’t as vocal as I thought she should be on the subject. I didn’t want Cheyenne becoming closed off like I had when my parents hadn’t provided the care I needed as a child. Growing up to be the mother figure to Ellynn had taken a lot out of me. All I wanted was for Cheye to progress naturally and not have any disasters grow her up faster than necessary. Was that even possible?

“I’m glad you’re here, Auntie Erykah.”

“So am I, sweetie.” I drew in a steadying breath. “I’ll be here for a long time.”

Please.

I didn’t know who I was pleading to, but then again, there was only one entity I was trying to determine the existence of. If He was real, maybe He’d make sure Cheyenne didn’t lose another person close to her.

Please.

Cheyenne drew back, and her brown eyes were luminous. “I’m hungry.”

“Good, because dinner’s ready.” This I could handle. I stood up and helped her to her feet. We walked into the kitchen, and Chris followed.

“How much longer before Ash wakes up?” he asked.

I glanced at my smartwatch. “Probably twenty or thirty minutes.”

“Guess you’d better eat, unless you want me to grab her when she cries?”

“No.” I shook my head. “My responsibility.”

“But you have help.” Chris gave me a pointed stare.

I could practically hear his thoughts. “You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here as long as you need me.” Or something else that ran a ten on the chivalry scale. Seriously, how was this man still single? I wanted to take a step closer and reenact that moment we had at the Garden of the Gods yesterday. No you don’t. You’re essentially playing house right now. Of course your hormones are reacting. That’s all this is.

My face flamed at my thoughts. Did Chris think I was desperate? Had I imagined that look in his eyes?

“You okay?” Chris whispered. “You look upset.”

“I’m just wishing I could shut my thoughts down for the night, or at least for the length of a bathroom break.”

He chuckled. “You’ve got that many, huh?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” And they’re revolving around you.

“Maybe we should do something after dinner to distract you.”

“Like what?” Because wasn’t an almost toddler, a five-year-old, and a puppy enough? If I got any more distracted, I’d need to check into the nearest hotel to remember who I used to be.

My gut clenched. Oh my word. That wasn’t what I meant. I’d give anything for my sister to be alive and home with her kids again, but I didn’t want to go back to being alone. What ki nd of monster was I that I wasn’t thankful that people were around me, and I had a real purpose? I closed my eyes against the shame of the thought.

You had purpose before. You still helped people. Now you ’re helping family.

“How about a movie?” Chris asked, interrupting my self-reprimand.

I eyed Cheye. “For all ages?”

“Of course.” Chris leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “I know how to stay in a kid-friendly lane.”

With a jaunty whistle, he turned away from me and set about dishing up dinner. Yet my brain was still focused on his nearness. That low whisper raised every nerve ending along my entire body. Then there were his words. Was he being kid-friendly on purpose ... with me ? If so, what did that mean? I had so many questions and no answers. I wanted to ask ... and yet I didn’t.

“Can you grab the silverware?” Chris asked.

I blinked. “Right. Silverware.” I glanced at the table. “And napkins.”

“Thanks, Erykah.”

Do not shiver at the way he says your name. Do. Not. I shivered.

This man was going to unhinge me. I had to get out of this house. “You know, maybe instead of a movie, I’ll just take a walk around the neighborhood.”

Chris’s blue eyes pierced me. “By yourself?” There were many questions behind those two words.

I nodded. His gaze roamed my features, and sympathy replaced the worry. “Understood. You can go right after dinner, if you need to. I’ll take care of the girls.”

I really did need to. Because sitting here, knowing he would bless our food, then talk equally to me and Cheye would undo wh at little self-control I maintained. I wanted to gush how I had a crush on a guy I’d met by chance at a hamburger place and then at the governor’s mansion. I’ve watched enough movies to know some people would call it fate or destiny. Apparently, we’d left coincidence at the first meeting when we ran into each other a second time.

Still, having a crush on a guy was a big deal for me. I didn’t normally have any type of romantic feelings. Worse, I didn’t have a sister who could advise me anymore. I’d been the first person Ellynn had called when she’d met Asher. I’d been the first person Asher had talked to before he’d proposed. Now I was a lone island. My nieces were too young to confide in, and Charlie, well, he kind of talked back, but I didn’t think this conversation would prove to be in his wheelhouse. I needed someone real to talk to.

Are You there? Are You real?

But how did you talk to God? I knew prayer was the answer, because I’d seen Chris in action. But seriously, how did we communicate? Was there a back-and-forth action that happened between a human and a deity? That seemed so ... so ... wild . What made me think I was important enough to talk to the God ? I wasn’t. I was merely me.

But I needed to talk to someone ... anyone. I was desperate.