Chapter 25
Two daysof rest and recuperation. That’s what it’s taken me to get over Jack and Eric’s phenomenal cock attack.
Josh has been a superstar, looking after me like I’m suffering with the flu, not recovering from a savage anal battering. I’ve had meals in bed, and long, afternoon Netflix sessions while he’s been resting next to me, and hot foamy baths that he’s prepared and lowered me into, like a fairy princess.
What a guy.
Plus, he’s been spoiling my clit while my ass and pussy are recovering. He cleaned me up when I got back from my proposal, lapping up Jack and Eric’s cum and digging his tongue in as far as it would go. And then, when the taste was all eaten up, my gorgeous boyfriend fucked my sore pussy to stake his claim. Slowly. Deeply. Possessively.
I’m so proud of you, he’d said afterwards as he read my review, and I grinned at him like I was the cat who got the cream.
Hmm, love is a wonderful thing. Josh is definitely husband material.
And now it’s time to show that I might well be wife material…
I’m meeting Josh’s family for lunch in two hours’ time, and I’m absolutely shitting myself.
“They are going to love you,” he assures me yet again as I put on one of my most glitzy necklaces. I’m still my gothic self, but I’m trying to go a little bit posh with it. I have one of my fitted black evening dresses on, with a short velvet jacket and strikingly high black heels, and my catflicks are accentuated by especially thick fake lashes, offset by pale pink lipstick. I smooth down my dress as I check myself in the mirror for the hundredth time.
Josh takes me by the shoulders at that and turns me to face him.
“Relax,” he says. “You could be wearing your PJs and some bright yellow crocs, and they’d still absolutely adore you.”
The niggle in my gut won’t go away, though. It isn’t just about being good enough, or liked enough, or accepted by his family when they get to know me. It’s whether I live up to the woman they met before me – right from the first impression. I know she set the bar high.
Amy.
She may have been a bitch at the end, but I know they all worshipped her from the moment she first walked into their house and said hello. Josh told me how she fooled them all because she was so regaling, and vivacious, and full of life. So beautiful. Am I going to live up to that? Am I going to be as impressive as her?
“You’re doing the lip thing,” Josh says.
“Yeah, well. I just want to do well, you know?”
“It’s not an exam, and it’s most certainly not a proposal. My family aren’t going to be reviewing your performance and giving you a rating for potential customers.”
“Not on paper, no…”
He wraps his arms around me. “I get it. I’ll probably be crapping myself when I meet your folks for the first time too, especially your dad. He’ll be giving me a serious grilling after what Connor did to you. It’ll take me months to win his approval, not just hours.”
“You have a point there.”
He laughs. “And your parents will be staying in our guest room when they visit, so I’ll have to leg it down the corridor if your dad wants to give me an uppercut. You’ve only got one afternoon to get through. I’ll have two solid weeks of judgement, minimum.”
“I’ll count myself lucky, then.”
“Please do. My family will be counting me very lucky indeed when they meet you. Maybe even Caroline.”
I pull away from him. “Now that’s pushing it too far. I’m well aware she’ll think I’m a piece of crap on her shoe. Tiff has warned me a thousand times.”
“Tiff can keep her mouth shut for once. I think Caroline will love you, actually. You can be two gothic princesses together, hanging out in Camden.”
“I’ll keep my hopes up.”
“Please do.”
Josh’s family live in Beaconsfield, so he gets his car out of the Belgravia tower garage for the journey. I experience his glossy black Merc in its full glory, slipping into the posh leather seats like I’m off to a gala.
I remind myself of his family tree as we set off.
Emma, Sasha, Scott, Josh, Caroline. His parents, Heather and Phil. Emma is married to Craig, and they have Polly-Anne, Josh’s niece. And Sasha is married to Georgia.
Ok, I’ve got it.
Josh engages me in chatter all the way, trying to keep the vibe nice and easy, but I’m sure he’s well aware that my stomach is churning, nerves flying wild. It’s dumb, and I know it. I can walk into a proposal and strip bare to perform for a crowd of guys without breaking a sweat, but meeting Josh’s family – that’s another level of stress altogether.
Because I care.
I care so much because I want them to believe I’m the one for him. I want to be the one who lasts for ever. The one they watch walk down the aisle to be at his side.
Stop it.
I have to stop it.
I look out of the window and comment on the scenery because this brain whirring is getting me nowhere. I’ll be fine once we’ve arrived and I’ve said hello – that’s what I tell myself. This is all a big load of stress over nothing. I’ll meet them all one by one around the dinner table, and we’ll be laughing and joking in no time, and then I’ll enjoy my Sunday dinner.
Common sense doesn’t win the battle with my nerves, unfortunately. I’m literally gripping the car seat as we pass the sign for Beaconsfield. Josh’s family home is a farmhouse on the outskirts of town. He turns up a lane and pulls into a parking area next to a big open barn. There are three cars already outside, and Josh points them out to me. Georgia’s, Scott’s and Emma’s. He rolls his eyes as he parks up.
“No Caroline yet. What a surprise. She’s usually late, or bails at the last minute, so you might not even get to meet her today.”
I can hope. I have more than enough of his family members to meet already.
Josh’s parents’ house looks fantastic. It’s a solid red brick country home that must’ve seen better days, sure – but that only adds to the character. The place has a country vibe that’s a stark contrast to the city, and the difference hits me like a tidal wave. I’d forgotten just how quaint and quiet the countryside can be, and I get a pang of homesickness for my own childhood, and my teenage years, when I didn’t really appreciate my surroundings.
I get a montage of sudden memories at the sound of the birds, and the wind through the trees. I remember picking flowers on weekend walks with Mum and Dad when I was tiny – making necklaces with daisies and dandelions. I remember strolling hand in hand with Connor in the summer breeze, his guitar slung over his shoulder until we reached the woods, where we’d sit on our regular bench as he strummed his heart out.
Heather and Phil’s place is a lot more earthy than my parents’ house was. They have long grass and wild flowers around the outside of the lawn, and plenty of bird feeders stocked up with seeds. There are wind spinners in the garden, and I hear the faint ringing of windchimes from over by a cute wooden shed, painted in faded rainbow colours along the side.
“Caroline did that with Mum, before she discovered the wonder of black velvet,” Josh says, when he follows my gaze. “It’s been like that for years.”
“It’s cool.”
He smiles. “Yeah, it is. This place wouldn’t be the same without it now. It’s part of the charm. Like Caroline herself, no matter how much of a pain in the ass she is.”
We walk up to the garden gate hidden in the hedgerow. It’s a little wooden one that creaks when Josh opens it for me. His parents have lived here all his life, and I try to imagine him as a little kid with all his siblings around him, running along the path to the front door.
“What do you think?” Josh asks me. “Do you like it? Good first impression?”
“I love it.”
“Countryside or city? What’s your verdict?”
I look at him. “My verdict?”
“Yeah, your verdict, for when we do the whole settle down with marriage and kids and a couple of dogs thing. Countryside or city?”
I love how he’s talking about our future as though it’s already set in stone.
“Both,” I say. “Let’s make sure we earn enough money to do both. We can keep your Belgravia apartment, and get a country home, how’s that sound?”
He smiles as we walk along the path.
“Sounds great to me. Let’s milk the hardcore ladder for all it’s worth. You can make double anal a staple of yours now.” He laughs as we reach the door. “We could always book in some special edition double proposals. You can take the anal and I can dessert spoon the cum out of you as the clients watch.”
He’s still laughing when a pretty, older woman answers the door in a long floaty skirt and pale blue cardigan, and bloody hell, she must have heard him. There’s no way she wouldn’t have. I could curl up and die of embarrassment, but she doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest, just pulls him in for a hug, and tuts in his ear.
“Joshua, at least introduce your lovely new girlfriend before discussing double anal at the dinner table, will you, please?”
He hugs her right back. “Hey, Mum. Don’t worry. I’ll keep my trap shut.” And then they both turn to look at me. “And here we have her. My lovely new girlfriend. The woman that dreams are made of.”
My cheeks burn at his intro.
“Hi, Heather,” I say. “I’m really pleased to meet you.”
She pulls me in for a hug of my own, and it’s genuine and warm, like Joshua’s.
“It’s great to meet you, Holly.” She pulls away shaking her head. “Sorry, forgive me. Damnit, Josh!” She sighs. “He was always referring to you as Holly at first, and it’s stuck. It’s Ella, of course. Don’t worry, we’ll all get used to it.” She welcomes me inside. “Honestly. We’ve had Weston, Josh, Cream, Tiffany, Magpie, Amy, and all this name business set Caroline off doing it as well. We’ve had to endure Lina, Callie and Caz, all on the back of Weston and Cream. Urgh.” She shakes her head, smiling in good humour. “Ella, please ignore all this nonsense, we’ll get your name right, I promise.”
I’m grinning back at her, because her smile is so endearing. Josh definitely has her eyes. They are gorgeous. I could listen to her speak for eternity.
My boyfriend sighs as he takes off his jacket and hangs it over the banister. He holds out a hand for mine, and I slip it off with a thanks.
“What name is Caroline going by currently?” he asks. “Is she still Cazzie, or has she changed it again?”
“No, it’s not Cazzie anymore,” Heather says. “It’s Carly now.”
The hairs on my neck prickle. But no. No. It can’t be anything. Just a coincidence.
“Carly,” Josh says. “Right. I’ll try my best to remember.”
His mum leads us through to the kitchen and offers me a drink. I ask for a glass of water, sipping it while I try my best not to freak out. But then I remember what Josh said… about Caroline trying to imitate Tiff… with her pillar box red hair…
Which means she’s Carly. A goth girl with red hair. Probably early twenties. Hangs out in Camden.
No. No chance. It can’t be.
I lean against their countertop as I listen to Josh’s mum tell me how much they’ve all been looking forward to meeting me, and how lovely it is to see Josh so happy again. I want to sink into it, I do, but my legs are starting to feel like jelly.
Carly. A goth girl with red hair. Early twenties… Camden.
“Come on through, let’s introduce you to the family,” Heather says, and leads us into the dining room off to the right. Wow, here they are. Josh’s family waiting in eager anticipation. I feel swamped by the sea of faces, grinning brightly as I try to work out who is who.
Ok, so Emma is married to Craig, and they are sitting together, along with Polly-Anne, Josh’s niece. I see Josh’s sister Sasha – gorgeous – with the same smile as Josh… and the woman beside her with dark blue streaks in her hair must be Georgia. Yes, I’m right. They all confirm their names with bright grins and welcoming waves for me. Phil, Josh’s dad, is at the head of the table. A hot silver fox who smiles and tips his head in greeting, and next to him is Josh’s brother Scott, who barely shoots me a glance and a nod, since he’s so caught up in his phone.
But no Caroline. Not yet.
No Carly. The goth girl with red hair, in her early twenties, who hangs out in Camden.
“Where is our adorable, sweet little sister, then?” Emma asks Heather as Josh and I take our seats at the table.
“Running late apparently. Her boyfriend was doing a gig last night and they overslept.”
A gig.
I feel sick now. Much more sick.
“Caroline’s got a new boyfriend?” Josh asks Emma as Heather rushes back into the kitchen to stir the gravy.
Emma rolls her eyes, in the exact same way Josh does.
“Yes, she has. And in typical Caz style, she wanted to bring him along today. A surprise announcement. Why not pee on your parade, hey?” Emma looks at me. “Sorry, Ella, Caroline just likes to, um… take centre stage sometimes.”
“We’re all so glad you’re here,” Georgia says, “It’s great to see Josh so happy again. He’s been singing your praises nonstop.”
“Caz won’t last with this new guy anyway,” Craig chips in. “She thinks he’s going to be a world famous rockstar, but I doubt it. She’s living in fantasy land, as per.”
I feel my blood running cold.
A wannabe world famous rockstar, with Carly, a redhead goth girl…
“It’s Carly, not Caz anymore, remember?” Georgia reminds him. “Don’t call her Caz or she’ll bite your head off.”
“Not in front of her new boyfriend, she won’t. She’ll be putting on too much of a Little Miss Perfect display.”
“What’s his name, this new guy?” Josh asks.
My heart is suddenly pounding at his words. I look over at the door, my head spinning. It will take one hell of a scrabble to get around Emma, Craig and Polly-Anne if I need to run.
Stop it. I’m being paranoid.Just paranoid. I keep my smile on my face, shoving the stupid fears away, because it’s nothing but paranoia.
This guy’s name could be anything. Alex, Aaron, Eddie, Egbert, Graham, Leon, Leroy, Bertie, Ben, fucking Zeppelin. Who knows, and who cares, just as long as it’s not…
“Connor,” Georgia says, and my world implodes, just like that. “Carly’s new boyfriend is called Connor.”
“Sorry, what?” Josh says. “His name is Connor?”
Georgia nods. “Yeah, a guy she met in Camden. He’s hot, apparently. A punky looking rocker. Ha. Put a purple streak in his hair and maybe he’d look like you.”
Josh looks at me, wide eyed in horror, and I must be like a ghost staring back at him. I want to run, but I can’t, I’m stuck in position, I’m stuck here. In my seat. With Josh’s family all around me. Oblivious.
Oh shit. Oh fucking shit.
What the fuck am I going to do?
I have to try something, and Josh is ready to help, he takes my hand under the table, squeezing my fingers in support. Fuck it. I want to run out of here and bail before this car crash becomes reality. The universe has withdrawn its good fortune today, and it’s laughing at me. It’s laughing in hysterics.
A HELLO, sounds out from the hallway, and I hear Heather call out a hello, Carly in return.
My stomach lurches and I’ve gone all shaky and I’m close to throwing up my breakfast.
“Ah, there they are,” Emma says. “I thought she’d be later than this. She must be super keen to show him off, the incredible Connor. Sorry, Ella, she really is trying to pee on your parade.”
Pissing on my parade could never do it justice. Feasting on my soul, more like it.
Carly and Connor are here. Now.
I’m so going to puke.
I’m really going to fucking puke.
I nearly do when Josh’s little scarlet haired sister Carly steps into the dining room, hand in hand with my smiling ex-boyfriend. I have to clamp my hand to my mouth to keep it down.
My eyes meet his, and he pales instantly, eyes wide. Both of us caught in the grip of the embarrassing fucking depths of hell.
Carly introduces him to her family members one by one, and I’m one of the last. She introduces me with a wave, and a hey, pleased to meet you herself, and from her stance it’s clear she hasn’t got a clue.
“Connor, this is Holly,” she says. “Josh’s new girlfriend.”
Holly, oh fuck.
“It’s Ella, not Holly,” her mum says. “Holly is her agency name, not her real one.”
I die inside.
“An agency name? What the hell is that?” Connor asks, on ghostly autopilot as he sits down at the table opposite me.
Carly laughs.
“You must remember what I told you, right?” she asks him, and he looks at her momentarily. “Please tell me you weren’t too wasted to remember that my big brother Josh is a hooker. His name is Weston when he’s working.”
“Caroline, stop it,” Josh says, trying to intervene, but she shrugs.
“It’s Carly, thanks. And stop what? It’s no secret? Everyone knows what you do. It’s hardly news that your girlfriend does it, too.”
Connor looks as fucked up as I feel. He looks like he’s going to hurl.
“So, Ella has an agency name?” he asks his skanky little cow of a girlfriend. “And that’s because what? Why is she called Holly?”
Carly giggles like he’s stupid, fluttering her feathery, fake lashes.
“The drink really went to your head last night, didn’t it? Are you still half asleep? She’s got an agency name because she’s an entertainer.” Josh’s sister turns her attention to me, grinning, unaware. “I’m right, aren’t I? You’re a whore for a living, aren’t you, Holly? Just like Joshua.”