The Paris Affair

55 Julia

October, 2003 – London and Effelsberg

Julia took the beef out of the fridge and heated up the frying pan. It was her last night in London before going to visit Daniel tomorrow. She’d come over to Anna’s to cook a new beef recipe that Clara had taught her. Only, this time, she hoped she wouldn’t make a mess of the kitchen.

Anna perched on a stool and watched her work. ‘You really are getting the hang of this, aren’t you?’

Julia dropped the beef into the oil and nudged it around with a wooden spoon. ‘I know it’s hard to believe, but I actually like cooking now.’

Anna glanced at Julia over the rim of her glass. ‘I bet Daniel is looking forward to some home-cooked meals when you visit.’

Daniel had used the money from the sale of the house to buy the old farm. He’d been hard at work all year, tending to the cows and fruit trees.

Julia left the beef sizzling and took a sip of wine. ‘Yes, I’ve promised to make Muscheln. It’s one of his favourites.’

She thought back to the apartment in Paris. They’d made that dish many times since, cooking side by side in the farm house kitchen in Effelsberg.

‘You must be looking forward to seeing him again,’ Anna said. ‘I must say, it was nice to meet him properly when he came to London. He was a real hit with Daisy.’

Julia smiled. He’d helped Daisy plant seeds from the garden centre, and she’d watered them every day, remembering his advice. It hadn’t been easy maintaining a long-distance relationship, but they tried to see each other every few months. It was the best they could manage at the moment, with his work on the farm and Julia’s work in London, but it never seemed enough.

‘It’s been a year now, hasn’t it, since Christoph’s passing and the two of you finally getting together,’ Anna said, a look of concern in her eyes. ‘Do you have any sense of what the next steps are?’

Julia turned towards the sink, scrubbing dirt off the mushrooms. ‘We haven’t talked about it. He’s just had his first harvest. I’ve been busy composing and teaching. It’s amazing when we’re together, but we don’t really discuss the future.’

‘Well, that’s understandable.’ Anna sipped her wine. ‘Are you sure you made the right decision, pulling out of the Queen Elisabeth competition? I thought being a concert pianist was all you’ve ever wanted.’

Julia turned down the gas and let the sauce simmer.

‘It was a long-held dream,’ she said. ‘But after Christoph died, something changed. I picked up that blank sheet music Daniel gave me and the music just poured out of me. I suppose it was a way of coping with his death.’

Anna nodded. ‘Christoph meant so much to you. I’m glad you could channel your grief into something so positive. I was worried how things might be for you, especially after you’d felt so guilty for not being there when Mum died.’

‘That was the difference, I suppose,’ Julia said, stirring the sauce. ‘I was there for Christoph, almost right up to the last moment.’

‘Well, I think you’ve been very brave, writing your own compositions and teaching at the school. I think Sebastian realized it was the right thing to do as well.’

‘Well, it took some explaining, but perhaps he saw it coming.’ Julia smiled. ‘I had a postcard from him the other day. He’s in Majorca, on holiday with Tanja, celebrating their engagement. So something good did come out of me not being able to play those concerts.’

‘It certainly did,’ Anna said, patting her hand. ‘I’m so proud of you for forging your own path at last.’

Julia smiled. ‘What would Mum have said?’

‘God only knows.’ Anna laughed. ‘It doesn’t matter any more. But I know Clara is immensely proud of you. She told me so when we came to see you play the other night. Dedicating your compositions to her and Christoph was a lovely thought.’

Julia tipped in some cream and stirred the sauce. ‘If it hadn’t been for Sylvie and Christoph’s story, I don’t think Daniel and I would have found each other again.’ She sighed. The anticipation of seeing him was always tempered by the knowledge that, after a week, she’d have to leave again. Flying back and forth was the only solution for now.

Julia stepped off the train at the little station in Bad Münstereifel, the nearest town to Effelsberg. Daniel stood waiting at the end of the platform. He strode towards her, smiling broadly, and lifted her up into a bear hug.

‘This is some welcome,’ she said, smiling.

‘God, I’ve missed you,’ Daniel said, standing back to look at her. ‘It feels so long since we last saw each other.’

‘I know, the months seemed to drag. But I’m here now.’ She touched his cheek. ‘I’m so glad to see you too.’

He moved closer, his arm around her waist, pressing the small of her back, until their lips touched. The taste of him, his woody scent, the brush of his stubble against her skin. It all felt like coming home. The thought of leaving in a few days clouded her heart. But she pushed it from her mind, determined to make the most of every minute they had together.

The farm was a twenty-minute drive, up the hill and along the road that led through the forest. The leaves glowed in the October sunshine, an endless shimmer of reds and yellows. Julia felt her London life ebbing away in this magical landscape.

Daniel glanced over at her. ‘I love that look you get on your face when we head up the hill. It’s like you’re letting yourself relax at last.’

Julia smiled. ‘I like to think of Christoph growing up here, and you visiting as a child, and now this place is your home.’ She reached over and squeezed his knee. ‘That’s what you hoped for, isn’t it? Somewhere that means something.’

That’s what he’d said in the market in Paris. And she’d felt a pang of sorrow that she didn’t have somewhere like that. Even now, she still hadn’t found a place to call home.

Daniel nodded. ‘I love it here.’ He turned into the village, driving past the cluster of houses and out towards the fields where the farm lay. ‘But still, there’s something missing.’

He pulled into the driveway and Julia unfastened her seatbelt.

‘What’s missing?’ she said, taking in the view over the meadows, where cows were grazing, and the orchard. ‘You have everything you need. It looks perfect to me.’

Daniel was looking at her, a curious smile on his face. ‘Come on,’ he said, picking up her suitcase. ‘Let me show you what I’ve done since you last came.’

She followed him up the steps into the thick-walled farmhouse with its shuttered windows and stone floor. It was like stepping back in time. Of course, things weren’t the same as when Christoph and Lotte had lived here. But the essence of the house conjured images of him coming in from the yard to see his little sister.

Julia smiled, imagining them here, Christoph at the piano and Lotte dancing, their mother watching them both. The furniture and piano were long gone, sold when Christoph had decided not to buy the farm when his mother died, but still she could picture it in her head from what Christoph had told her.

‘So, I’ve knocked through to make this a kitchen/dining room,’ Daniel said, breaking into her reverie. He pointed to the ragged gap in the wall. ‘It looks a bit of a mess at the moment, but I’ve got the plasterers coming back next week.’

Julia glanced at the dustsheets. ‘I thought this would all be finished by now.’

‘Yes, well, so did I, but then I had an idea, and I asked the builders to work on that first.’ His eyes were shining as he took her hand. ‘You see, I wanted it to be ready for when you came.’

Julia followed him down the corridor, towards the dilapidated old sunroom that lay at the side of the house. The last time she’d seen it, Daniel was using it to store the builders’ equipment, and it had been filled with planks of wood, paint pots and ladders.

Daniel opened the door and gestured for Julia to go in.

She walked into the room and gasped. Gone were the boards at the window. The broken glass had been replaced and sunlight streamed in. The old carpet had been taken up and a new wooden floor laid down. But most startling of all was the object that stood in the centre of the room.

‘Daniel,’ Julia said, turning to him with tears in her eyes. ‘It’s Christoph’s grand piano.’

She ran her hand along the top of the Schimmel piano. She thought it had been sold, as she had no room for it in London. ‘You kept it.’

‘I put it in storage until I could work out where there was space for it. Then I had the idea that this would make a perfect music room. It’s south-facing, so there’s sun all through the day, but the trees in the garden keep it dappled in shade.’

Julia glanced at the fireplace. There was a photo of Christoph playing fervently at one of his earlier concerts. He looked young and full of energy and passion. Next to it, in a small silver frame, stood the photo of Sylvie in 1942 among the roses, the one that they’d found in the apartment.

Julia gazed at Daniel. ‘But I don’t understand. What’s all this for? You don’t play, and I’m only here every few months. It seems a waste to dedicate a whole room to the piano when you haven’t even got your kitchen finished yet.’

Daniel took her hand and led her round to the keyboard. There on the stand was a piece of paper, folded in half.

‘Why not take a look at that?’ he said. ‘I think you’ll find the answer to your question.’

Julia frowned, intrigued. She opened the paper out. There was nothing on it except for some markings:

Hangman. She gazed at him, confused.

Daniel smiled and took a pen out of his pocket. ‘Let me fill it in for you.’

He wrote the letters down behind his hand, then folded the paper again.

‘Before you read it, I need to tell you something,’ he said. ‘This year’s been manic, but every time we meet, however briefly, things are always better when we are together. That’s what I want, Julia: you always with me.’

Julia looked up at him. He reached out for her. The touch of his hand made waves across her skin. Daniel bent down and kissed her, the warmth of his mouth sending a charge around her body.

‘ Ich liebe dich ,’ Daniel whispered, and pressed the paper into her hand.

She opened the paper and tears came to her eyes. There, in his slanted handwriting, he’d written:

M-O-V-E/I-N/W-I-T-H/M-E

Julia’s heart soared. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. ‘Are you serious?’

‘I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life,’ Daniel said, holding her close. ‘You can use this space for composing, and for teaching the local kids, if that’s what you want to do. And if you decide to tour with your new compositions, I’ll support that too, and this will all be here waiting for you. I’d love you to live here with me, to make this your home. Because, without you, nowhere will ever truly be home for me.’ He glanced at the photos on the mantelpiece. ‘And Christoph and Sylvie will be here in spirit to inspire you.’

Julia remembered what Christoph had told her: Music flows from the heart to the head and through the body on to the keyboard . Daniel loved her. They were going to be together at last.

‘I love you too,’ she said, holding him tightly. ‘I just want to be with you.’

‘Come and try the piano,’ Daniel said, with a smile, lifting the piano lid. He sat down on the stool. ‘I had it retuned and everything. This farm is ours now, Julia, and this room is especially for you.’

He took her hand. Julia sat down on his knee, laughing, feeling his arms around her, a sense of belonging filling her heart at last. She glanced back at Daniel and kissed him, knowing this moment was everything she’d hoped for, that this day was just the beginning. Then, turning back to the piano, she took a deep breath and began to play.