“You have been rather quiet these last few days.”
Rosalind glanced up at the Duke as they sat together in his rose garden. Her mother and father had granted her permission to be alone with him for a few minutes – under the expectation that they were to discuss the upcoming wedding - for Rosalind had not told them about Lord Westlake and all that had occurred.
“I am sorry.” She tried to smile but the heaviness of her heart pulled her lips downwards. “There has been a good deal to think about, I suppose.”
“There has been.” The Duke put one hand over hers and Rosalind started, a tension within her that she had not fully felt until this moment. “But you have not shared any of your thoughts with me.”
Rosalind swallowed at the tightness in her throat, heat burning through her. The Duke was quite correct, she had not told him any of her thoughts for there had been a part of her fearful to do so. Seeing Lady Pearl had been a shock, of course, but she had felt true sympathy and compassion for the lady and all that she had endured. All the same, she had watched the Duke’s interactions with Lady Pearl, had seen him take her hand, had heard the softness of her voice and had felt a pang in her own heart. Over these last few days, she had scrutinized her own heart, had recognized that the reason for such a pang was because of her own feelings for the Duke of Strathmore. Now, she was too afraid to speak of such things for fear that he would admit to her what she dreaded: that he had once had a strong affection for Lady Pearl and that, on seeing her, such feelings had returned with strength.
“Speak to me, Rosalind.”
The Duke’s voice was so very soft that Rosalind closed her eyes, feeling herself drawn to him and to the desire to pull herself nearer.
“Why will you not tell me what has made you so quiet? Why have you withdrawn from me somewhat?”
“I have not meant to,” Rosalind said quickly, hearing a slight quavering in her voice. “I know there has been a lot for you to take in and to consider.”
“But I have been mostly thinking on you,” came the reply, as Rosalind’s eyes went quickly to the Duke’s, uncertain whether he spoke the truth or only did so in order to make her feel a little more at ease. “That is why I have come to you now, seeking to know why my beautiful betrothed has pulled herself away from me, why no smile lingers on her lips, why her eyes are no longer bright and happy.”
Despite her best attempts to hold them back, tears came into Rosalind’s eyes and she closed them quickly, trying to hide them from him.
“Rosalind,” the Duke murmured, then lifted her hand and brushed a kiss to the back of it, sending a fresh wave of warmth through her. “You are sorrowful, yes?”
She took in a shuddering breath, then opened her eyes just as tears fell to her cheeks.
“Why are you sad?” he asked, leaning so close to her now that she could feel his breath on her cheek. “I thought you would be glad that I did not have to bear that burden any longer.”
“I am!” she exclaimed, unable to help herself, “but it is only that…” Searching his face, she saw the softness there and found the words coming to her lips, nonetheless. She had to speak them, unable to hide it from him any longer. “If you still care for Lady Pearl – Lady Gillespie, I mean – then that is more than understandable. It must have been very overwhelming for you to see her but then if there are other feelings which have come to the fore, then I do not hold that against you.”
The Duke’s expression did not change. He simply looked back at her for some moments, saying nothing but his hand still holding hers.
Then, he let out a sigh.
“I did have some feelings which rose to the fore, Rosalind,” he told her, as a sharp pain stabbed into her heart. “But you must understand something.” Leaning a little closer, he pressed her hand. “I never had a real, burning and growing affection for Lady Pearl. Not as I have for you.”
In that moment, all of the pain in Rosalind’s chest faded in an instant. Her eyes widened; her breath caught in her chest as she saw him smile.
“I have been fighting against my feelings, I will admit,” he continued, reaching out his other hand to press it against her cheek, “but they have been growing there, nonetheless. When I saw Pearl, when I felt my burden free, it was as though a dam was broken deep within me and all that I felt grew a hundred-fold.”
Tears began to burn in Rosalind’s eyes. Not tears of pain or of grief but of relief and joy as she saw the truth in his eyes.
“I have not known how to share what I feel with you,” he confessed, dropping his gaze for a moment as a small smile touched the corners of his mouth. “It has been foolish of me, mayhap, but given your quietness and my confusion… well, I have not found the strength to speak. Yet now, seeing that your quietness has come from concern and confusion, I am gl ad to be able to tell you the truth of my heart. And the truth is, Rosalind, I believe that I love you.”
Before she could even think about what she was doing, Rosalind threw herself forward, her arms going about the Duke’s neck as the tears in her eyes finally fell to her cheeks. She wept openly though her smile was bright, her chest heaving with sobs of both relief and joy. The Duke, clearly a little perturbed by her upset, held her closely, murmuring words of concern but Rosalind, sniffing once, lifted her head and looked straight into his eyes.
“I do not weep for pain or upset,” she said, a little hoarse now. “I am overwhelmed with relief! To know that my own heart’s cry is met with one of your own brings me such happiness, I can barely even comprehend it!”
The Duke’s eyes widened, his hand back to her cheek, his thumb brushing lightly across her skin. “Rosalind, you cannot mean that…” His eyes closing tightly for just a moment, he gave a slight shake of his head. “I do not deserve any sort of affection or consideration from you, I know that.”
“But you have it,” Rosalind breathed, her hands still about his neck. “There has been a flicker of hope within my heart that you will change into the gentleman I have seen you begin to become and now, after all that Lady Pearl told you, I see that transformation all the more – so why could my heart not seek to be close to you?” When he shook his head again, she let out a quiet laugh. “You have not been the only one fighting with your feelings, Strathmore. I have not wanted this, I have wanted to keep you out of my heart but you have made your way in there nonetheless.”
“I do not deserve it,” he said again, a sense of shock in his voice and expression. “I wanted to tell you of my heart but with no expectation that you would return my affections in any way. Now, to know that you are offering this to me… well, in short, I can barely believe it. I am not a gentleman at all worthy of such kindness, Rosalind. I have treated you ill, I have been unfair and unkind, brutish and dismal and dark while you have been nothing but light and happiness. How, then, can such a light come to such a darkness?”
Rosalind smiled gently, her heart thrilled with all that he had said to her. “Because, my dear Strathmore, you have begun to change and the change within has been a beautiful one. You say that there is darkness in you but that is not so, not anymore. I can understand why you behaved so, can understand why you took such guilt upon yourself, though I did not think it was yours to bear. But now that you are free of it all, now that you are able to see that nothing you did was wrong, that there is no fault of yours to bear, I can only see that the light already within you has begun to grow and spread. To hear you tell me that you love me has made my heart so filled with joy, it is too great to express!”
“This is all because of you.” The Duke’s fingers ran down her cheek to her neck and then to her shoulder, his fingers then brushing against the nape of her neck and making her shiver in anticipation. “Had you not been so considerate of me, had you not been so determined and forthright, then I might never have even looked at my own behaviour. That change you speak of, I felt it long before I knew of Lady Pearl. I believe I felt it from the very moment of our acquaintance.”
“Truly?”
The Duke smiled so tenderly that Rosalind could see the truth in his eyes. He was so close to her now that she could feel the warmth of his every breath brushing across her skin and each one made her shiver. When he leaned a little closer, Rosalind, despite her own trepidation and sudden nervousness, did not hesitate. Instead, she closed the distance between them and settled her lips upon his.
The kiss was hesitant and uncertain, something she had not expected from him. It was as though he felt the very same as she felt, a little surprised by all that had taken place between them, by the feelings which had been expressed and now a little overwhelmed by all that he felt. The warmth from his lips, however, soon spread further into her chest, into her whole being until her arms were tightening around his neck and his hands slipped to her waist.
Then, there was not even a single flicker of hesitancy in their kiss any longer. The Duke leaned in all the more, slanting his head just a little and Rosalind felt herself melt into his arms. Their kiss was a promise of all that was to come, a security of all they had shared and a whisper of the delights that would be in their future.
And suddenly, Rosalind could not wait to marry him .
Thank you for completing “The Penitent Duke" !