17. Ellie Hart
“Archie, no, don’t eat the dirt, sweetie,” Naomi calls out from her spot on my back porch. I look over my shoulder to find Archie with a fist full of soil headed toward his mouth.
I reach for him right as he’s about to ignore his mother’s words and manage to brush most of the dirt off his palm.
“Thanks,” Naomi says with a laugh.
“I figure he’s going to eat some, but I’ll minimize the amount as much as I can,” I tell her.
Archie toddles off to where his trucks are in a pile of dirt next to a bucket of water I set out for him to ‘wash’ them in. The water is already as filthy as the ground, but he’s having fun. I invited Naomi over today so she could have extra eyes on Archie while she works on a big project. She thinks it’s because I wanted company while tending my garden. To be fair, it is nice to have someone to occasionally talk to while I work. And since Naomi is busy with her work, it makes for the perfect amount of conversation. Not too much, but not absolute silence either.
Her working also means she’s too busy to interrogate me any more about Miles. I told her we left Hank’s to talk things out and then I went home. Which is true. Mostly. I left out going to the diner, because I know she and Molly would freak out. Miles isn’t the only one with matchmaking friends. I don’t keep many secrets from them, so this one didn’t seem too bad.
Another reason I didn’t want to tell them is that it would make it all too real. Right now, eating pie and laughing until my sides hurt feels like a hazy dream. One where I think Miles wanted to kiss me. I know I wanted to kiss him. And I can’t afford for that to be anything more than a dream. Not just because he’s my boss, but because of what he confessed on the beach. He doesn’t want to get married or even be in a serious relationship. I want a husband and a family in the future. I’m not going to waste time knowing that he doesn’t want that, even if we’re both in our early twenties. Maybe his mind will change, but I can’t count on it.
I wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. It’s a humid day, but I don’t mind it. There’s something about working in the garden until I’m covered in dirt and sweat, then getting a long shower and rewarding myself with a glass of ice cold strawberry lemonade. Sometimes, in between gardening and my shower time, I go for a dip in the ocean. I probably won’t do that today though, because taking a toddler to the beach is a whole event, and I wouldn’t want to leave Naomi here alone with Archie.
“Archie, do you want to help me water the plants?” I ask him while holding up the hose. He grins big and reaches for the attachment in my hand. I help him hold it and guide him so that we water the base of the plants.
Once we’re done, I give him a little spritz on his head, making him giggle. Then I help him spray me, because it is hot out and I don’t mind a little water. This makes him practically double over laughing.
“What are you two doing over there?” Naomi asks, a smile in her voice.
“Just cooling off,” I say with a laugh as Archie gets ahold of the sprayer and hits me right in the chest. His little hands are stronger than I thought, because suddenly he’s running around the garden, water going everywhere.
He runs toward Naomi, giggling maniacally as he holds the hose in front of him. Naomi barely manages to set aside her laptop before he gets to her. She gasps as the cool water hits her stomach, then her chest.
“Archie!” she squeals and grabs the sprayer from him. Instead of stopping his fun though, she turns it around and effectively drenches my little nephew. He spins in a circle, having the time of his life. I smile watching them so carefree. A sudden ache hits my chest. The breathless feeling that grief tends to cause. I wish Owen were here. He’d throw Naomi over his shoulder and let Archie chase them. His laughter would probably draw attention from the neighbors because of how loud it was. And when we were all heaving with exhaustion, he’d pull Naomi in for a kiss that I’d say was gross but really was a thing of novels and movies. A symbol of the kind of love that I’d wish for on every star and blow out every birthday candle just to have a glimpse of.
I don’t stay in my melancholy for long, because Naomi picks up Archie and rushes me with the hose. Before I know it, I’m soaked too and trying to wrestle the sprayer away from her. Mid-tussle I hear the sound of my doorbell ringing. Naomi stops drenching me and we look at each other, brows furrowed. No one rings my doorbell. Not even the mailman.
“I’ll go see who it is,” I say and start to wring my hair out.
“Who on earth would ring the doorbell?” she asks and I shrug. Archie tries to reach for the hose again, but Naomi holds it out of reach.
“Only one way to find out.”
I walk to the side gate. My feet are covered in grass and dirt, so there’s no way I’m walking through my house like this. And I don’t want to leave someone waiting while I clean them off. I turn the corner and freeze in place. There on my front porch is the man I spent all night trying to get out of my head.
“Miles?” I say and he turns toward me. He’s wearing what looks to be green swim trunks, with a PGA Tour t-shirt and a pair of dark sunglasses that I can’t see his eyes through. Which is unfortunate, because I’d like to know if he’s looking me over in the way that I think he is.
“What are you doing here?” I ask when he doesn’t say anything for a moment.
“Sutton and Shaw are shopping down on Wave Way,” he says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his swim trunks. “I knew we were close by, and Sutton mentioned inviting you to hang out with us since it’s their last day here. I probably should have called.” He shifts back and forth on his feet. Is he nervous? Why does that thought make my heart leap?
“Oh, well I’m not exactly dressed for shopping,” I say and gesture to my outfit.
My face heats when I realize I’m wearing a bathing suit top, shorts, and a linen button down I’ve left open. I tug the wet shirt around me self-consciously. Though it’s white, so it’s probably not giving me much coverage.
“I was gardening,” I explain, looking down at my feet. “Naomi and Archie are here and we got into a little bit of a water fight when I let him help with the hose.”
“Sounds like fun,” he says and I look back up to find him smiling. My lips turn up involuntarily.
“It was.” We stay staring and smiling at each other, not saying anything. After a minute he clears his throat.
“So you’re busy right now,” he says, then scratches the back of his neck.
“Kind of,” I reply, my heart sinking. This is a good thing, I tell myself. You already see him enough.
“What about later? I’m having a bonfire on the beach tonight. Fitz and Jada will be there too.”
“And what about Kira?” I ask before I think.
“No Kira,” he says, the corner of his mouth hitched up in a boyish grin. The feelings I”d buried start to spring up like flower buds.
“Will me coming make things worse on you? I don’t want them to mess with you more because of me.”
“You sure about that, Red? You seem to like messing with me.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. It’s a bad idea to go, but it’s hard to say no when he’s standing there grinning at me. Even though he’s a few feet away, it feels like he’s right in front of me. As close as he was last night, whispering that nickname in my ear at the bar. And later, his hands gripping my waist, his eyes burning with something far beyond friendly.
“I like it better when it’s just me bothering you,” I say.
“Me too,” he replies and my stomach flips. “You should come though. I’ll get in more trouble if you don’t. They’ll blame me.”
“Okay, I’ll come.”
“Good.” His grin widens. “I’ll see you at seven.”
“See you at seven,” I echo.
He walks down my porch, then looks over his shoulder.
“You look good like this, Red.” My heart stutters in my chest. “You look happy.” I wish those blasted sunglasses were off his face. It’s so hard to read him with them on. Is he teasing me? Is this something more?
“I am,” I reply, not sure what else to say.
He taps the porch railing. “See you at seven,” he repeats, sounding almost unsure.
“Seven,” I say, sounding as dumb as I feel.
He walks out of my yard and down the sidewalk toward Wave Way. I watch until he’s out of sight.
“You’ve got it bad,” Naomi says from behind me. I whirl around. She grins at me with Archie on her hip. He rolls one of his trucks over her shoulder and chest.
“Shut up.” My comebacks are severely lacking. I feel lightheaded and off-balance.
“I can’t wait to tell Molly about this.”
“I think it’s time for you to go home,” I say as I walk past her. She laughs and follows me.
“I don’t think so. I think you need to tell me how you went from despising him to making googly eyes from across the yard.”
“I was not making googly eyes. You couldn’t even see my eyes.”
“I didn’t have to. I heard it in your voice. See you at seven,” she mocks, in a high pitched voice.
“I do not sound like that.”
“You do too. You’re in looooveee,” she sings.
I shoot her a glare over my shoulder. “I’m not in love. Now drop it.”
She lifts a hand in surrender. Archie copies her and I stifle a smile at the sight. “Okay, okay. I’ll leave it alone.”
“Thank you.” I sigh and run my fingers through my wet hair. I’m going to see Miles tonight. And all of his friends who apparently think we should be a couple.
“Naomi,” I say after a moment of silence.
“Yeah?”
“I think I’m out of my depth here. My head’s spinning.”
Her arm wraps around me and her head falls on my shoulder. “That’s how it’s supposed to feel.”
“I don’t like it.”
“You do, you just think you’re not allowed to, though I can’t figure out why. Is it because he’s your boss?” She lifts her head and looks at me. Archie whines so she sets him down. I watch him run off toward his dirt pile, wishing I could run away from this conversation too.
“That’s a part of it,” I say carefully. “Everything is just too messy.”
She gives me a soft smile. “That’s life, Ellie.” She gestures to our drenched and dirty clothes. “It’s a part of what makes it so fun.”
“I don’t think this is the fun kind of mess.”
She shrugs. “Then it’ll be a lesson learned. But you can’t learn from it if you run away.” She pats me on the shoulder then walks over to where Archie is now rolling in his dirt pile.
I toy with the damp hem of my shirt as I mull over her words. She was right about everything, but I’m not sure if this is a lesson I want to learn.