31. Ellie Hart
“Thanks, Molls,” I say as I take the iced caramel latte from her. “I’ll see you later for girls’ night?”
“Of course! Text me what you’re wearing.”
I muster up a smile. “I will.”
The pity in her eyes is unmistakable. I’d usually resent that kind of look, but I’m too tired to care. I haven’t been sleeping well, and trying to work for Miles without seeing him or talking to him makes my job that much more draining. There’s two days until the tournament and I should be excited, packing my bags full of cute outfits and making sure Miles has everything he needs. Instead, I need to call and cancel my room and flight. I should have done it before today, but I was in denial.
“Let me know if you need anything. I can leave the shop to Natalie for a few minutes.”
I wave her off as I walk to the door. “I’m fine. I’m not sick, just sad.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to be alone.”
I think of Miles’ words after I hurt my ankle. How he said I don’t have to take care of myself all the time. But then he left me.
“I’ll let you know,” I tell Molly as I push open the door. Maybe Naomi was right and Miles was a lesson after all. He taught me to open up more, to laugh easier, to let people help me. Him rejecting me doesn’t erase those things.
My sandals slap against the sidewalk as I head down Wave Way back to my neighborhood. I pass by the beach access point and my stomach twists. I haven’t been to the beach in days. I’m sure there will come a time where I don’t think of him–both the good and the bad–when I walk out onto the sand, but for now I know it’ll just make me cry.
Everything seems to remind me of him. It’s the first time since moving that I’ve wished I didn’t live in Coastal Cove. Memories of him follow me like ghosts everywhere I go. My own home is filled with his presence. It’s miserable trying to move on, though I haven’t really put much effort in. I’ve just moped around my house and avoided going out except to get coffee.
Tonight is the first night I’m going out, and it’s only because Naomi said she got Mrs. Diane to watch Archie. Since her going out is so rare, I gathered up the willpower to come too. Even if I know she and Molly planned this because they’re worried about me.
I step up onto my porch and walk through my front door. The one I left unlocked out of some weird form of vengeance. Miles isn’t going to care that I left it unlocked. I’m just risking getting robbed for nothing. But it made me feel mildly better this morning. Now that I’ve got caffeine in my system, it seems foolish.
Passing by my open laptop, I head to the kitchen to work on the tiny mason jar arrangements I’m working on for the diner. I’ll deal with work later. I can’t face it yet.
I let myself get lost in the rhythm of cutting stems and distributing them throughout the jars. It feels good to do something I love. I’m deciding whether or not to add more greenery to the arrangements when there’s a knock at my door. My heart stops and starts again. It can’t be.
I rinse my hands and dry them on a linen towel hanging on the stove before slowly making my way to the door. As I’m walking, I see a vintage baby blue Bronco parked outside through the window. It’s him. He’s really here. My stomach flutters with nerves.
Steeling myself, I open up the door. “What?” I ask and he flinches at my tone.
He looks achingly gorgeous in his fitted black polo and khaki pants. His hair looks like he’s been running his fingers through it, and if it wasn’t for the darkness around his eyes, I’d think he was perfectly fine. He’s probably just working hard for the tournament, I tell myself. I won’t allow myself to think he’s not been sleeping because of me.
“Can I come in? I’d really like to talk about what happened the other night.”
I think of how he’s already tainted my house with memories of him taking care of me. I can’t add to them.
“No, we can talk out here.”
He takes a step back as I walk out of my house and close the door behind me.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I treated you,” he says.
I cross my arms over my chest, trying to protect my heart from whatever he’s about to say.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. It wasn’t fair to you.”
“Okay, is that all?” My tone is flat. I won’t let myself get hurt by thinking this is more than it is. He feels bad for how he treated me and probably wants to clear his conscience so he can play well this weekend.
“No, there’s more.” I can see a hint of frustration in his expression. Good. He should get to feel how I’ve felt. “After talking to my dad, I was upset. I overreacted and let my past get in the way of the good thing we had going. I thought what I was doing was right but then yesterday I was out on the course with Fitz and I was playing terrible–”
I cut him off. “So you came to see me because you had a bad round of golf? I’m not a good luck charm, Miles. I’m a person with feelings that you hurt, deeply hurt.”
He rakes a hand through his hair. “I know that, that’s why I’m here.”
“No, you’re here because you think apologizing will help you play better this weekend. You thought maybe if you said sorry and I forgave you that you could win. Well it’s not going to work because I don’t accept your weak apology.”
His jaw ticks. “Ellie–”
“You broke my heart, Miles. Did you really think that I was going to just say all is forgiven and move on? I’ve been miserable the past few days while you just had a bad day on the course.”
“Would you stop putting words in my mouth?” His voice raises. “I’m trying to talk to you about this but you think you know everything. You have no idea what I’ve gone through these past few days.”
“Let me guess, a few missed shots, you hit it two hundred yards instead of three hundred?” I sneer.
His hands go into his hair and he tugs on it. “You drive me crazy, you know that? You have since the day we met.”
“I could say the same to you,” I shoot back.
“If you just listened instead of throwing this attitude at me–”
“If you wouldn’t have broken my heart maybe I wouldn’t have an attitude.”
“I broke mine too!” I blink in surprise at his confession. “I haven’t slept. I can’t go anywhere without seeing you. Food has lost its taste and the air doesn’t feel the same in my lungs anymore. And yes, golf has been terrible too. But that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because from the moment I met you, you’ve gotten under my skin and I’ve realized it’s hopeless to try to live without you.”
My heart soars like a kite, but I yank it back down, trying not to get ahead of myself. I want to believe him, but I’m still hesitant.
“So, what? You’re saying you want me to keep working for you? To be friends again?” I need him to be straightforward. I can’t embarrass myself again.
He steps forward, caging me against the door. His eyes bore into mine with a wild passion I’ve never seen from him before, not even while training or on the course. It’s like those moments were only a fraction of the frenzied heat he possesses now. His forearms frame my head, blocking out my surroundings until there’s only him. His warmth, his scent, his intense gaze.
“Does it look like I want to be just friends, Red?” His voice is low and raspy as one of his hands slides under my jaw.
“I’ve been mistaken before,” I whisper, a shiver coursing through me as his thumb strokes my cheekbone.
“Then let me make myself clear.”
He tips my head back and slants his mouth against mine. There’s no lead up. No soft, questioning brush of his lips. His kiss is desperate, like he’s thought of nothing but this for weeks. My hands grip the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. One of his hands tangles in the back of my hair. The other slides over the dip of my waist, to the swell of my hip, then down my thigh. Fire trails in the wake of his touch. I gasp into the kiss when his fingers dig into the exposed skin below the frayed hem of my shorts. He lifts my leg up and presses our bodies flush together. I arch into him, my body following his like the way the tide obeys the moon.
His lips leave mine and I make a small sound of protest. I feel his smirk against my mouth. He tugs on the hair at the base of my neck, tilting my head to the side. His lips find my ear.
“Do you know how many times I’ve thought of this?” Delicious tingles accompany the sound of his voice. He presses his lips right below my ear. If he wasn’t holding me up against this door, I think my knees would have given out beneath me.
“Tell me,” I whisper.
He trails hot kisses down the column of my neck. Then he returns to my ear where he grazes his teeth against the sensitive skin of my earlobe, making me gasp.
“Countless times,” he rasps. “I wanted to set you on the hood of my car that day in Cape Alamanda and make a mess of your lipstick. And in the diner that night I thought of nothing other than tasting the whipped cream on your lips.”
He brushes his nose against my jaw, then kisses me gently at first, only to surprise me by nipping at my bottom lip. His forehead presses against mine as he releases my leg to lower it back to the ground.
“Even on your first day, when you walked in on me training and couldn’t stop staring.” My face flames. He lets out a husky laugh. “I wanted to set you on my counter and make you blush even brighter.” His lips brush against my cheek. “Like you are now.”
My eyes flutter open. He’s looking down at me with a kind of adoration in his eyes that makes my heart somersault.
“So, this whole time…” I trail off. He smiles and caresses my face.
“I’ve been falling for you.” My breath catches. “Like an idiot, I tried to fight it. But there’s no fighting what I feel for you. I’m in love with you, Red. I love how you don’t give out smiles easily, but it’s like you can’t stop as soon as you set foot on the beach. I love your attitude, and the way you laugh, and how you only drink sugary iced coffee.”
He brushes my hair back, then cradles my face in his hands.
“I love how you take care of your sister and Archie. How you take care of me. I love that your house is full of flowers and that you decorate with ocean-themed everything. I love your wild red curls and your freckles and your beautiful mouth that always has something sassy to say.” He presses a kiss to my lips. I blink back tears. “I love you, and I don’t want a life that you’re not in.”
My heart is so full it’s overflowing. It’s not lost on me how big of a step this is for him. He’s opened up his heart to me. I have the power to break it like he broke mine that night on the beach, but I won’t. I can’t. Not when he’s fought against his own bloodline and upbringing just to say this.
“I love you too,” I whisper. He brushes my tears away as they fall. “I don’t want a life without you either. These past few days have been awful without you, but I forgive you.”
Pain mars his expression. “Thank you. I promise that won’t happen again. You’re stuck with me now.” He brushes his nose against mine and I can’t help but giggle.
“I can’t believe I fell in love with someone who golfs for a living.”
He laughs. “I can’t believe you did either. But speaking of golf.” He pauses and looks meaningfully into my eyes. “Would you be willing to go with me this weekend? I want you there.”
My heart squeezes at the sincerity in his eyes. “Of course I will. I want to be there to see you take back your number one spot.”
A grin breaks out across his face and he pulls me away from the door, lifting me off the ground in a hug. “I love you so much,” he says into my hair.
I breathe in his fresh, masculine scent and soak up the feeling of his arms around me. The rightness I felt that day we hugged on the course comes back again.
“I love you too.”