Chapter 18
Eighteen
AMbrOSE
B y the time Godr was done with whatever Drin distracted him with—I tried not to think about what that might be that it took so long—and I’d done a thorough inspection of Rhoddgorr’s hooves, coat, and ears, it was time to go meet Finn and his friends.
Godr loped beside me, an easy smile on his face as he talked about funny training stories that made us both laugh at his expense.
He wasn’t embarrassed, not even when describing how he’d had to break up a fight between horses without clothes because he’d been too exhausted to remember he’d fallen asleep naked.
“I learned to put on pants first when a youngling tried to bite my cock,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “I learned that day it is a bad idea to be naked in the field.”
“I’ll remember that,” I answered with a smirk. His eyes heated at my flirty response, and I bit my tongue in punishment. I needed to stop. I wasn’t doing either of us any good by acting this way.
Of course, Godr didn’t know that. I wasn’t entirely sure he cared that I was leaving. He hadn’t mentioned it in so long, sometimes I forgot that was the plan all along. He flashed me a teasing grin, bumping his shoulder against mine. “If I’d gotten hurt, would you have taken care of me?”
It was an innocent question, but with the way he said it, he obviously meant a certain kind of care I wasn’t entirely familiar with yet.
I felt warmth spread through my cheeks, remembering the last time we’d ‘taken care of each other’.
I’d thought that morning that I wanted to do it again, looked forward to it, even.
Sometimes I regretted opening my mouth and complaining about the sex.
It wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy it. If I’d just held my tongue, I might have gotten to explore more with Godr. And what a dangerous train of thought that was.
Unable to resist, I replied, “Maybe. If you were good.”
He grinned wickedly at me, stepping closer to not be overheard as we got closer to the groups of people in the village center. “How good?”
I was grateful when our conversation got cut short when we entered the crowded cooking tent.
I was pretty sure Patrick was going to be able to figure out what we were talking about given the state of my face, but luckily he was busy, working in tandem with Yamileth, who I’d met when I had to apologize for dropping the food, to hand out bowls of food.
He smiled at me when it was my turn, offering me a bowl, and Yamileth looked me over curiously before waving me along to keep the line moving.
Neither commented on my blush, and when we stepped out, I felt like I’d gotten myself under control enough that my face wasn’t as red as a tomato.
Godr led the way out of the main area of the clan where many gathered for a meal, through the lines of tents to a smaller fire closer to the outer circle of the clan.
Finn was already there with Matthew and Simon.
He had a smirk on his face as he said something to Finn that made him flush bright red.
“Simon, are you teasing Finn again?” Godr said loud enough to draw the attention of Finn’s bondmate, who sat nearby.
I cast a worried glance at the large man, but he seemed unconcerned with the conversation.
He glanced at his bondmate to make sure he was happy, then went back to his conversation with Patrick’s bondmate next to him.
Simon shot Godr a dirty look and gave him the middle finger. “No. We’re just talking. Mind your own business.”
Godr took his biting comment in stride, chuckling as he led me over to the little group, speaking to Finn. “I leave my tribute in your care, brother. I’ll be nearby.”
Finn straightened, giving Godr a bright smile.
When I was learning about the words for family members, Finn told me Godr was his brother-in-law.
Godr treated him like a little brother too, ruffling his hair as he walked past. Finn seemed to adore the affection, and after he’d mentioned how his family had treated him, I could understand why.
“So, doc, how are the language lessons going?” Simon asked in the common tongue.
“Well, I think. Finn is a good teacher. I believe the other tributes agree with me. No one has had any complaints.”
Simon shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I didn’t take his classes. I already spoke the language when I got here.”
“And told no one,” Patrick said as he joined us, his own bowl in hand. He didn’t have a cane today, so he was having a good day. I’d made him a poultice after I knocked him down and suggested a daily tea with special herbs to keep his muscles loose and relaxed. It seemed to be helping.
There wasn’t a hint of repentance in Simon’s grin. “I wasn’t about to give up all my secrets at the get go. I was hoping they’d slip up and reveal a way for me to get home.”
I frowned at that. “Are you here against your will? I thought they didn’t do that.”
He waved the comment away lazily. “I wasn’t happy about it at first, but I thought pretty much the same way everyone else did when they first got here.
My bondmate changed my mind.” He wiggled his fingers at his barbarian, who grinned at his attention.
Simon turned his focus back to me. “What about you? I heard you volunteered. Is it everything you’d dreamed and hoped it would be? ”
My flat expression was my only answer. “Do people actually volunteer willingly?”
He pointed at Matthew, who flushed and ducked his head. “He did. Are you saying you didn't actually volunteer? Because that would make way more sense. Honestly, I find it hard to imagine any town being stupid enough to give up a physician.”
Since it’d been long enough that Evie should be safe, I didn’t feel the need to lie. “I volunteered to save my sister. Our father wanted to marry her off and when she refused, he manipulated the lottery to punish her.”
“So you punished him right back,” Simon grinned. “Are you his only son? How’d he take it?”
“Yes, and not well. He was still begging for them to change their minds when the barbarians showed up, but no one was willing to force someone to go when I was volunteering.”
“Even though you’re a doctor?” Patrick asked with a frown.
I shrugged. “There’s another physician in town, and they preferred him.
” I blew out a breath, staring into the fire.
“I don’t regret volunteering, even knowing now how well she would have been treated here.
She’s in love with the baker’s son. He’s a good man, and they wanted to be together.
The only regret I have is that I had to leave my son behind. ”
Every time I thought about Sebastian, it felt like a knife was being stabbed through my chest. I missed him more than words could express.
“You have a child?” Finn whispered, eyes filled with unshed tears. It didn’t surprise me anymore. Finn was an emotional man, and I’d seen him cry a few times since we met.
I hadn’t felt safe enough to mention him to anyone before now, but I trusted them enough to speak about Sebastian now.
“He’s nine,” I answered, rubbing unconsciously at the pain in my chest. “I sent him to stay with my sister before I left. She was supposed to take him somewhere safe and start over with the baker’s son.
It was the only way I could think to protect them both. ”
A heavy silence settled over the little group, and I felt bad for bringing down the mood, but it wasn’t possible for me to talk about Sebastian without it feeling like I was carving my own heart out.
If I knew the way home, I might have already taken Rhoddgorr and gone to find him.
It felt like part of my heart was missing.
Without warning, we were surrounded by barbarians, all checking in on their bondmates who looked stricken after my story.
Finn’s bondmate actually scooped him up and walked a few feet away, whispering to him and consoling him as big tears spilled over Finn’s cheeks.
Even Godr came to check on me, sitting by my side with a hand on my shoulder as he looked at the group in confusion. I grimaced.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset anyone.”
Simon made an irritated sound, glaring at me from his new spot on his bondmate’s lap. Even he had tears in his eyes, which seemed strange from the sassy man. “Why would you need to apologize? I feel like the clan needs to apologize. They should have checked before taking you away from your family.”
Einar, who had been checking over Matthew with a frown so deep it was almost a scowl, turned to study us suspiciously. “What do you speak of?” he demanded in the common tongue.
“He’s got a kid,” Simon answered bluntly. “And you assholes took his dad away without even checking first.”
GODR
While Ambrose had been taking lessons with Finn to learn our tongue, I wasn’t surprised the conversation between tributes was spoken in the common tongue.
He was still learning, and they wanted to chat.
It did make it frustrating to once again not know what was going on.
I’d learned a few things from Zoya and Ambrose when I begged them to teach me, but not nearly enough to keep up with their conversation.
Thankfully, Patrick sat nearby and translated for the rest of us. “Ambrose has a son. He had to leave the boy behind to live with his aunt when he volunteered.”
Horrified, I demanded, “Why would he volunteer if he had a child to care for?”
I couldn’t imagine Ambrose ignoring his responsibility to his child. He wasn’t like that.
“His sister was chosen to become a tribute. He said volunteering was the only way he could think of to protect them both.”
The breath rushed out of my lungs, and I stared in awe at the man beside me.
He knew nothing but the rumors of our people, but chose to volunteer to protect his family.
I’d thought he couldn’t get any more perfect than when he showed how comfortable and happy he was around the herd.
Knowing how far he’d go to protect the people he loved only made him more amazing in my eyes.
My heart ached for his loss, though. A parent should never be separated from a child.
When my parents moved on to another clan to assist them after a war, I had been heartbroken.
We were close, and it felt wrong to not be able to see them every day.
It took years to better handle the separation, and I was already a man when it happened.
I still visited them at least once a year.
Ambrose wasn’t guaranteed even that. I knew very little about the Ilvos clan.
I wasn’t sure they’d allow him to fetch his son or even visit him.
The thought of that separation being forever was devastating even to me, and I didn’t know the boy Ambrose had been forced to leave behind.
“Can we do something?” I asked my brothers, who looked just as pained at the thought as I felt.
“Not without his clan’s involvement,” Einar grumbled. Even he looked unhappy about the news.
A heavy feeling settled in my gut. The thought of Ambrose leaving was already hard to accept. But knowing he would only suffer heartache after he was gone was abhorrent. I had to do something. Even if I had to go fetch the boy myself.