The Player Penalty (SteelTrack Racing #3)

24-Lily

“Are you challenging me, Lily Webb?” Julian bites the corner of his lip and sucks in a gulp of air. He takes both hands off me and leans back to create space between us. “Stand up. Get between my legs.”

Julian pushes me until I nearly slide off the sofa. Anticipation grows low in my stomach, and a shiver moves through my body.

“Remove your top.” His deep voice thrills me and might even frighten me a little.

I throw it to the floor beside me, then pull at my skirt, assuming that should be next.

“Stop.” The sharp tone in his voice surprises me, and I freeze. Julian remains still, only his eyes moving as they inspect every part of me. It feels like he’s placing me under a microscope, and I suspect he knows it. “Me watching you is all it takes for your nipples to get hard. You realize that.” He leans forward to tweak one and then lightly sucks on it. “Your skirt next. Everything off.”

If my hands shake, it’s from desire rather than embarrassment. Julian is always patient with me, never uttering a harsh word or allowing a hint of impatience into his voice. This is different, and I want more.

The rest of my clothes disappear. I stand in front of him, and a need for modesty hits. Julian always takes his clothes off first, every time so far, to set me at ease.

“Hey, come here.” His voice softens, and Julian pulls me into his lap. “You’re in charge, okay? We go as far as you want and stop when you say stop. One more step now, and then we go further.”

“I don’t want to stop.” For all my boasting of not being fragile, my voice doesn’t entirely agree. I try again. “Let’s keep going. I’m not afraid, Julian.”

“You’re the bravest person I know, Lily. Don’t ever doubt that.” He pulls at the clip, holding my hair up before running it through his fingers and letting it settle along my neck and shoulders. “Leave it down for the rest of the weekend.”

I bite back a protest after realizing he’s complimenting my hair rather than testing me. Loose hair is a temptation to start yanking it again. That might happen, but I’ll damn sure try not to.

I shake my head with acknowledgment, and then he’s flipping us, so I lay underneath him.

“Spread your legs.”

“There’s no room.”

Julian grabs my thigh, setting my leg on the ground. He follows and rests on his knees. “There’s room. Lie still.”

He kisses the juncture between my thigh and pussy, and then his tongue lands on my clit, and I give up following his instructions. My hips buck, and his mouth follows my movements. Julian’s hands wrap around my legs to keep me still as his sweet assault continues.

A spasm hits me, and I cry out his name. I’m begging him for more and pleading for him to stop. His tongue slows its onslaught, turning tender as soft kisses slowly replace it.

“Did you know lilies are edible? They have a sweet, mild flavor, kind of like you.” Julian sticks a finger in my mouth, and I suck, tasting myself. “Do you remember when I said I would take all your firsts?”

“It was the night we decided to do this.” Why does my voice waver so much?

“I’m going to take another one.” Julian strips off his clothes so quickly the move seems practiced. “Turn over.” I start to do so before he grabs and flips me so I’m on my hands and knees. His fingers swirl down my back, leaving a trail of shivers in their wake before his hand finds my ass, and he shoves. “Like this.”

I gasp with shock at the fast, brutal way he enters me. His cock fills me, and then Julian pulls back before slamming into me a second time.

“Like this.” He shoves my shoulders, pushing my face and chest into the cushion. “Is this how you wanted it?”

A hint of embarrassment hits, and then it disappears as he begins to move. “Faster.” It’s the only word I can manage before any speech leaves my body, replaced by a keening wail.

Julian’s hips slap against me, and the slick sound of skin against skin fills my ears. He wraps my hair through his fist and pulls. His forceful thrusts drive me forward until my forehead hits the armrest, and he doesn’t stop.

“Is this what you wanted? Tell me you want more.”

It’s difficult, but I manage. “More. Please.”

“Beg for it.”

My stomach twists. “Please, Julian. Please. Harder. Don’t stop.”

Julian does precisely that, and a distant part of me wonders if the entire trailer moves. Every thrust shoves me forward, so my head touches the armrest. His fingers dig into my hips and ass.

He screams, and his pace turns frantic. Desperate movements take over as his rhythm falls apart. I rub at my clit, sensing what is coming, as he grunts and thrusts one last time.

We’re both silent after, with only the sound of his rapid breathing between us. Julian slides from my body. I don’t move, frozen from the activity, as the waves of pleasure spill over and lap at my skin.

Julian lands on me, wiggling his arms to hold me against him. “Are you still with me?”

“I think so. Can you give me a minute?”

His responding laugh is silent as his chest hits my back. He kisses a couple of the bumps on my spine.

“I can give you more than that. Come on.” A shock of cool air hits as Julian gets up. He grabs my hips, lifting me off the sofa like I’m a little kid. He holds me against him to take the few steps to his tiny bedroom, and we lie on the bed together. “Is this comfortable?”

“It’s much better.” I stroke the rough shadow on his chin. He nuzzles into my touch as a frown appears on him. “What’s wrong?”

“Did I hurt you?”

“Not even a little. That was impressive.”

“You were impressive. I imagine you naked with your legs wrapped around me almost constantly. We need to find a stretch of time where it’s just us, a bed, and maybe some snacks.”

I snort at the image of us pausing for a quick bowl of cereal or ice cream.

Despite his sweet words, Julian’s frown doesn’t leave.

The first touch of anxiety hits. Julian’s enthusiasm seemed sincere, but perhaps I misunderstood. It’s possible he did all that to please me, but he didn’t enjoy it as much. “Is something bothering you?”

“It’s not you or not the way you think.” He scoots closer so our bodies touch. “Lately, it’s seemed like I’ve been in a coma or sleepwalking these last few years, and you’re slowly waking me up. I developed this weird superstition about allowing anyone into my home. There’s been no visitors, not a single one, until you. It was very easy not to let anyone get close to me, and then you appeared, and now I’m lonely when you aren’t around. It turns out my superstition was a self-inflected curse, and you broke it. What else are you going to do to me, Lily?”

I don’t have an answer for him.

∞∞∞

“Do you have any more blackberries?” Sarah opens the mini fridge in her quest for more fruit. “Already cut-up kiwi? This is heaven and kittens and chocolate all rolled together.”

I’ve spent the past several races watching them with Sarah and Maddie. So far, I’ve learned Sarah survives off fruit while Maddie nervously keeps her hands occupied.

The seating around Julian’s pit box isn’t very comfortable, with all the noise and people. So, accepting their repeated invitations was a simple choice, especially as Julian was happy enough with me close by until the engine starts.

“As much as I appreciate your parents coming to cheer him on, I wish it wasn’t this one.” Maddie squeezes her eyes shut and rubs at her temples. “Please don’t think I’m ungrateful. It’s very sweet they want to support him, but Boone is already under so much pressure.”

Sarah and Boone have Tom Rivers for a father, a man many consider the best Cup Series driver of all time. He’s mostly retired now, which means Boone has the bulk of the company’s responsibility. I don’t envy him at all.

“It’s difficult keeping proud parents away,” Sarah says, and our eyes meet. “Julian is lucky to have you.”

“Everyone deserves a cheerleader,” I say. Julian’s parents never attend. He drops the occasional hint about them, which is not enough to tell a complete story, but he doesn’t need to. I always had Dad on my side, after all. It was only the two of us, so he always cheered me on, so much so that it was like he wanted to make up for the lack of family in our lives.

Maddie interrupts before Sarah can press, effusively complimenting my every achievement. “We must not be great at it, lounging around here like we are. Oh, look at that. It’s the last lap in the second stage.”

The three of us go silent as Julian’s car pulls up next to the 41. The two cars pace each other, one pulling forward and then the other. Julian pushes, and the distance between them grows from two to three car lengths as his lead grows.

“I think you’re his good-luck charm, Lily,” Sarah says.

Maddie sticks the bowl of kiwi in Sarah’s hands. “He’s having a great season.”

“Julian’s worked hard for it,” I say, unsure any other reason is warranted. He’s earned every point toward the series championship.

Julian keeps his lead several laps into the third stage before low fuel forces him to pit. “He’ll climb back up,” I say confidently. Dad may not care for Julian personally, but he acknowledges his skill at moving up through the ranks. He once told me it’s easy to climb to tenth; the struggle is getting to ninth.

“Cheerleader.” Sarah uses a fork to point at me. “I’m not teasing; it’s good there’s someone on his side. You didn’t know him before, Lily. He’s friendly with everyone. He’d usually act cheery, and then this air of glum would take over. Once last year, he made a comment about his family. This was during my fight with Boone.” She reaches a hand over to Maddie, who accepts it with a squeeze. “I stupidly commented on how difficult family squabbles could be right before him. Julian said he would know better than anyone, considering what happened to him.”

“What happened to him?” They aren’t close; he shared that with me a long time ago. This is the first time it has occurred that there might be more. I always assumed it was because of a terrible childhood. Julian drops the occasional comment about his father, and they’re all equally horrible.

“The cheating scandal.” Sarah’s face blanches. “You don’t know? Oh, hell. Jake is rubbing off on me. I went and popped off without thinking about it.” She waves at Maddie. “Help me, please.”

“Sarah meant to say it’s wonderful you give him support. I believe she was encouraging you to keep it up,” Maddie says.

“Yes, that. You’re good for him,” Sarah says.

I’m not quite as confident about that; mostly, it seems as if he’s good for me. We have our arrangement, which I intend to completely enjoy - right up until the end. He’s a great friend, and I genuinely enjoy hanging out with him. We went for a late-night snack run last week and giggled like little kids the entire time.

I check out the leaderboard, noting Julian has already moved back up to ninth place with forty laps to go. He’s not available to answer my question.

“What cheating scandal?” I ask.