The Player Penalty (SteelTrack Racing #3)

26-Julian

“We found my new hobby,” Lily says as she checks out her new jigsaw puzzles. After leaving the go-kart race, I took her to a local bookstore, where we discovered a large puzzle selection. “At least until I master the basics, get bored, and move on to something else.”

“Maybe this time it will be different.”

Lily removes the cellophane wrapping from one and eyes me. “It won’t, but it won’t happen until I develop an enormous collection with no place to put it.”

“You could keep it here.”

“I don’t think you understand my hoarding potential.”

“I’ll buy a house to put it in.”

“Why? You already have a big one right over there.” Lily points out the window to the nearby dwelling.

“I have tenants.”

“Not for much longer. Didn’t you say they were leaving?” I don’t respond. Lily dumps out the tiny pieces for sorting. “You can come help.”

The box cover shows the puzzle’s design: a bouquet of lilies in a glass vase.

“Lily. Like the flower,” I say. “Tell me when you’re ready for the next hobby so we can get you started in the most inefficient way possible.”

Secretly, the bookstore trip was a delaying tactic. I may enjoy risks on the racetrack, but this has the potential to blow up in my face. We’re a decade apart, and both of us are inexperienced in many of the same ways.

“We caused a scandal earlier,” she says. Her busy hands rapidly sort the pieces by color. Lily once told me her brain gets hyper, not her body. That’s coming out right now.

“Boone Rivers told me to stay away from you.”

Her hand freezes. “Are you?”

“Jake gave me the opposite advice,” I say, rather than answering her question. The drive back to my place was silent, with my hand on her leg and me wandering how to approach this. Apparently, head first and downright reckless. “He believes we’re already in a relationship.”

“Okay.”

They were both right. We have been, only I was blinded to that reality. Boone warned me but ended with an admonishment to think it over first. I had thought it over for months, an activity which always lead to the same conclusion. Lily.

So, screw that. Taking risks is the best part of racing.

“Our agreement is no longer working for me.” Whatever label we settle on, mere friendship isn’t cutting it. “We need to talk about that.”

“Are we still friends?”

Lily’s voice shrinks, and its quiver triggers the alarms in my head. I was so deep in my thoughts that only a fraction of them were spoken. To her, this is a signal to our end while I’m trying for a new beginning.

“Oh, shit, no. That’s not it at all.” That sounds worse. I stand, knocking my chair over, to pull her into my arms. I carry us both to the oversized lounger and settle her into my lap. “I’m saying we’ve been more, and it’s time we admit it. We’re in a relationship, Lily. We have been, and for some reason, neither of us could recognize it.”

“You want to date?” Lily grips my shirt as her shallow breathing slows.

“I want to date you.”

“Officially? Julian, this is all new to me. You know I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

“That’s fine. I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

She gapes with disbelief. “Not one? That’s impossible. Look at you. You’re Julian Murphy, the most amazing man I’ve ever met.”

Pride swells in me, not from the flattery because I’ve heard some of it before, but from her sincere opinion. Lily’s compliment is honest and one of the many things I adore about her. She’s earnest, with no pretense or falseness.

“Not one.”

“But all those women,” she hisses out. “Julian, I’m younger than you, not dumber. I know what you were up to.”

I kiss her chin, and a chuckle spills out. The jealous undercurrent is flattering. “You remember what I said about taking all your firsts?”

“This is another one. A boyfriend in an actual relationship.”

I trace along her cheekbones and eyebrows and down the bridge of her nose. “Did you ever consider that I could say the same?”

“The same what?”

“You’re the first person I’ve asked over. No people over means no one to invade my space. You’re the first person I’ve considered a best friend.” Her eyes grow big at that confession, and I wonder if anyone has ever called her that beside me. Probably not. “You’re the first woman I’ve slept next to. The first woman I’ve made love to. The first woman I’ve looked forward to seeing again the very moment you’re out of my sight. You’re the first I’ve been jealous over, to the point of keeping other people away so I can keep you all to myself.”

Lily burrows her head into my shoulder and relaxes her grip on my shirt. “That’s a lot of firsts.”

“I’m not done,” I say, inhaling air before releasing it. “You’re the first woman I’ve even considered having this discussion with. You’re also the first woman I’ve been afraid will say no. The first I’m prepared to beg if you don’t give me an answer soon.”

She moves, twisting herself until she’s straddling my thighs. Her skirt hikes itself up past her hips. Lily feathers soft kisses all over my face, and I smile. “I would never say no, not to you. This is all new, so you’ll need to tell me what we do next.” I laugh, and her lips pucker. “We’ll figure it out together,” she says.

“We will.”

“Do you know why I asked you?”

“To take your virginity?” Her request remains the absolute sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me.

“Yes, that.” Lily leans in so her body covers mine. The citrus and vanilla scent of her shampoo and lotion envelopes us both. I breathe it in. The same scent is on the pillows in my bedroom. “I trusted you enough to ask without being afraid of a reaction. Also, you’re easy on the eyes.” She bites her lip.

“So are you.” My gamble paid off, and I’m not even a little surprised. We’ve been circling each other for weeks and months, getting closer as the dynamics of our relationship changed, and neither of us acknowledging it. Was that from fear or old-fashioned obliviousness? Both, at least on my part. “Be warned; we’ll be subjected to rounds of I-told-you-so the first time we’re caught holding hands. There will be whistles in the garage.” Especially since I’m the one doing the hand-holding. “Probably more.”

“I can handle some garage whistles.” Her eyes bulge. “Oh, no. The garage. My dad. He won’t like this.”

Pete Webb doesn’t concern me. “Relax, and let me deal with him.” What’s one more risk?

“Are you serious?”

I lift a shoulder. “Very. I’ll tell him tomorrow. Honestly, it should be me.” She doesn’t need another round of warnings and concern pushed away from me. Pete Webb loves his daughter, but he would keep her safely cocooned in gauze if the idea ever occurred to him. Besides, I want to be the one taking care of her.

“Julian, he won’t like it. He doesn’t think highly of you.”

“Trust that I’ll handle it.”

“I trust you.”

“Do you know what I want to do now?”

“If your stomach growls, then dinner. Otherwise, go to the bedroom and get clothes off as quickly as possible.”

Both are correct. “Sit here with my arms wrapped around you and your head resting on my shoulder. It feels good.” Lily hums, and my eyes close.

She feels right.

She feels like she belongs with me.

∞∞∞

My stomach did growl. Snacks and appetizers were available after the race, but neither of us wanted to stay long enough to eat.

Cleaning the dishes doesn’t take long, mostly because I firmly believe in shoving everything in the dishwasher, no matter what. My cleaning service can take care of whatever needs extra scrubbing.

“You’ll need to take me home soon.”

That won’t happen. “You’re staying here with me tonight. It’ll make tomorrow’s conversation with your father even more exciting, and I meant to cause a scandal by pulling you away from everyone. Hold on.” I grab a tshirt from my bedroom dresser. “You can wear this until it’s time to come off.”

She traces the gold 33 on the back. “It’s one of yours.”

“It’s from my win at Martinsville last year,” I say. The explanation sounds insufficient, even if it’s true. “You’re the first woman I’ve given my shirt to.” The only.

“We’re collecting firsts tonight, Julian. Are you keeping track of our points? We need to know who’s ahead.”

I snort at the racing reference. “Plus, our repeat win.” I shake the little plastic trophy. “We won the season. The prize is you putting on my shirt while I watch.”

Lily eyes the shirt and then me. “I don’t think I will.” Wild laughter takes her as she turns and runs to the bedroom.

My place is a guest house, so it’s not that big. I catch her next to the dresser and launch us both onto the bed.

“Did you actually think I’d let you escape?” I sit astride her hips and pull her arms up over her head so she’s trapped beneath me.

“I expected you to catch me sooner. You race for a living, Julian. You should have faster reflexes than that.”

“Is that how it is? One evening, and I’m already taking insults from my girl.”

Lily bites her lip in a hopeless effort to contain another laugh, but it doesn’t work.

I pull my shirt and pants off while managing to keep myself on her.

“Wait. Wait. My turn.” Lily squirms out of my grip to pull at her shirt’s edge. I help pull it up and off. Her skirt is next, and then we’re both naked. “Get one.”

I open the nightstand drawer and fumble around. Where is the damn box? Finally, it appears, and I grab one of the remaining condoms. How did we use that many so quickly? Lily strokes my leg, and I know exactly why.

I’ll never tire of this woman.

∞∞∞

Rivers Motorsports Headquarters, North Carolina

“Where’s my daughter?” Pete asks the very moment I appear in his doorway. Years of regular use have frayed the edges of his trucker hat. He pulls the brim up to stare me down. It doesn’t work, but his grim smile leaves an impact.

“She’s in class until this afternoon. I promised to get her there, didn’t I?” She was a little late, but he didn’t need to know that. After making love, homemade omelets, a shower, and taking her home for clean clothes, it’s not unexpected. “Lily asked that I let you know she remembered her medicine.”

“She told you about that, did she?” He crosses his arms and leans back in his chair.

“Why wouldn’t she?” I sit down in one of the guest chairs. Pete Webb doesn’t think highly of me, making this conversation more difficult. His opinion of me on the track matters a great deal. Off of it, Lily’s opinion matters more. “You know why I’m here.”

“Out with it, Murphy. Say what you’re going to say.”

“I’m dating your daughter. I confessed my feelings to her last night, and, lucky for me, they were mutual.” Pete stays silent. “I care deeply for her; I have for a very long time.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask how long this will last?”

How long? A year of falling in love with her while denying it for most of that time isn’t a lark. It’s not temporary. Pete also loves his daughter, and he’s protective. I get it. My reputation and past acts feed into his concern. I get it while also being a little annoyed.

“Until she tires of me.”

“Or you grow tired of her. How much has Lily shared with you?”

“Everything.”

“Everything,” he repeats. “Murphy, let me be blunt. Lily has struggled to build relationships her entire life. She’s been rejected more times than I can count, right up until she quit trying.”

“She’s told me all that. I’ve been aware of it almost since the day we met.”

Pete crosses his arms again and gives another heavy sigh. There’s a trace of impatience when he speaks this time. “Murphy, is that supposed to impress me? You’ve floated from one pretty girl to another since the day you started here at RMS . You treat them like a fun distraction until you grow bored and move on. Now, you come into my office, declare you intend to date my daughter, and expect me to accept it. Boy, have you lost your damn mind?”

My father once asked me to cover up his cheating, and I refused. The act meant our company would implode, and I would lose my ride. It was a risk, and it worked because I’m driving the 33 today. I’m leading in championship points, have two wins already this season, and my sponsors love me. Boone Rivers may dislike me, but he isn’t dumb. He’ll want me to stay on.

My career is also the biggest card I have, and gambling can be fun.

“You don’t believe me.”

“No, I do not.”

“My contract with Rivers Motorsports is up at the end of this season,” I say, and Pete nods in acknowledgment. “We’re close to a renewal deal. Very close, but I’ll tell you what. If anything happens, if I do or say anything that makes you believe I’m not good enough for her, I’ll leave at the end of the season.” This will be either a brilliant decision or incredibly moronic. There’s no middle ground with this one. “You get to decide my future.”

Pete smiles at me for the very first time.