The Player Penalty (SteelTrack Racing #3)

33-Julian

Rivers Motorsports Headquarters, North Carolina

Julian: Can we talk? I can explain everything. Where are you?

There’s no answer, not that I’m expecting one since she hasn’t returned a single message since yesterday.

After the race at Indy, we all took a late-night, incredibly tense, and awful flight home. The flight, full of RMS staff, was subdued, while I struggled not to throw up.

“We all worked hard yesterday, and I expect more of the same next week,” Boone says. He keeps going, talking more about teamwork and high standards, which I tune out. These post-race company meetings are great for everyone’s morale but mine.

Julian: Nothing happened. I promise. You know how I feel about you. Please call me back.

After the flight landed, I went to her place, hoping to find Lily waiting for me, with no luck. Several light knocks on her bedroom window led nowhere. She wasn’t at my place either.

When the meeting finally ends, I escape to my office, where there’s no sign of her presence. She isn’t hiding in the museum workshop or Sarah’s old office. She’s also not working today, having scheduled the day off so we could spend extra time together. That plan fell flat.

“Julian, Boone wants to speak with you.” Maddie’s face screams apology and pity in equal measure.

“That bad?”

“Yesterday was difficult for everyone. How are you?”

“Like shit. I didn’t do anything, I swear. It was a misunderstanding.”

“Julian, can I offer you some counsel?”

Maddie never gives advice without politely inquiring first. If you state the grass is purple, she’ll sweetly ask if there could be an alternate option. She’s great and even greater for Boone.

“Dear fuck, yes.” I rub my temples, and a whiff hits me. I forgot deodorant this morning. And a shower.

“The difference between you and every other driver is that you hide it well.”

“Hide what?” I’m genuinely curious.

“That instinct of yours, the one that wants to fight and go in for the kill. You pretend like nothing matters, but we both know that isn’t true. You’re going to yell, and you’ll want to attack. Be calm and explain. He’ll listen.”

“I can do that.”

“Well, good.” She doesn’t sound like she completely believes me.

∞∞∞

Boone isn’t lying on his dumb thinking couch. That’s a bad sign. He’s not sitting behind his desk either, so all hope isn’t lost. Instead, Maddie sits behind the desk and pretends to type.

Playing the role of referee today…..

“What?” I ask. Yeah, that’s probably not a great start.

“I told you to leave her alone, and when I said to think long and hard before getting together with Lily Webb, you weren’t supposed to think with your dick.”

Be calm and explain. “Nothing happened. She snuck into my trailer while I was in the shower. I immediately kicked her out. Nothing happened.”

“She was seen by a lot of people.” I shrug because it shouldn’t matter. “The wrong people,” he says. “Sponsors leaving my trailer, a good portion of our crew, multiple drivers. Everyone knows. Everyone knows you’re cheating on Pete Webb’s daughter.”

“I didn’t cheat.”

He huffs. “You haven’t been able to keep it in your pants since the day you started here. The only difference is you lasted longer than usual.”

“No, we aren’t doing this. You do not get to stand there and fucking lecture me. Do you want me to remind you that you snuck around with your own assistant? Then your sister snuck around behind your back for months. Everyone around here kept their dumbass affairs secret.” Maddie suggested staying calm. We gave that a good, solid try, and now it’s time for a new strategy. Rage. “Unlike you, I was open from the beginning. You snuck around like a bunch of fucking cowards while I had the fucking balls to be honest. I’m the one who confronted Pete like a man while all of you hid behind closed doors. So get off your high horse and stop lecturing. You aren’t better, Boone Rivers, so stop fucking trying to be.”

“You absolute idiot. You went and made a bet with Pete Webb. He told me. What in the hell were you thinking? He wants you gone,” Boone yells back.

I’m not here for a lecture. “I bring you money, an absolute boatload of money. I’m in a strong position for the championship and have more wins this season than any other driver. You need me, but you’re too damn stubborn to admit it.”

Maddie clears her throat. “Well, this is going swimmingly, isn’t it?” Neither of us responds. “Boone is upset because he doesn’t know how to solve this problem, so I’ll do it for you both. He wants you here, and he considers you part of this team. Boone also feels the same about Pete. So, he feels trapped in the middle, which can be difficult. Wouldn’t you both agree?”

We both mumble something that approximates agreement.

Maddie continues, “Julian, you need to find her and fix this. Explain, apologize, or grovel—whatever it takes. Pete will listen to his daughter, but he won’t listen to either of you. Lily will need to do it. As for the rest, the sponsors will get over it, and gossip dies if you don’t feed it. We can arrange some interviews and do some social media showing off our newest happy couple, assuming Lily agrees.”

My anger dissipates. “I’ll fix this.”

“Well, that’s progress,” she says.

“Boone, you keep Pete occupied for now. Can you do that?” she asks.

He grumbles, accepting.

“Your wife is the best thing that ever happened to you,” I tell him and leave the office.

Back in my own office, I sit back at the desk. She’s not in the office, and she’s not at work. It’s summer, so she’s not taking classes. She also wasn’t at home.

I pick up my phone and find a voicemail waiting for me. It’s not from the person I hoped for.

“Well, son, it looks like we’re not so different after all. The sports sites are questioning your contract now, and you won’t find another team willing to pick you up from the gutter. I hope she was worth it.”

∞∞∞

I ring the doorbell a second time without success. She’s also not in her bedroom, which I know from sneaking over a fence and climbing a tree.

The house is dark and gives off an empty feeling.

She’s not at home, and there aren’t many places left.

I try Sarah’s next. “Is Lily here?”

“You come to my house to ask about your girlfriend? I’m only here because we’re expecting a plumber. Why would she be here?”

“In case you’re hiding her,” I say, knowing it’s a ridiculous response.

“Lily is braver than that.”

“Do you have any idea where she might be?”

Sarah shrugs. “Sorry, I haven’t seen or heard from her since last week. Is she avoiding you?”

“Something like that.”

“You didn’t do it, did you?” she asks.

“You believe me?” Relief takes over. I’m the condemned man frantically shouting my innocence while every effort worsens the problem.

“You’re almost a different person this season, Julian. That was real; you can’t fake that. Since we met, you’ve always acted indifferent, sort of casual, like there are things that are a good time, and everything else. You always ignored the everything else part, but glimpses of the better you would come out. We got glimpses while Lily got to see it all, didn’t she?”

“Something like that,” I say. Discomfort hits me. Sarah may be correct, but her assessment isn’t pleasant to hear either.

“Do you remember that day in the garage last year? The one after Boone found out about us. You came to break up the fight between Jake and Boone after telling me you wouldn’t get involved. Why did you do it?”

“Lily asked for my help.” She’d frantically burst into my office, wondering what to do, while I secretly thrilled that she’d come to me.

“That’s what I thought. She’s the one who got to see it all.”

I don’t know how to respond to that. “If you see her, will you let me know? Please?”

“I will. Good luck, Julian.”

Julian: I’m running out of places to search. You’re hiding, and I understand. I’ve been pretending not to care for over three years now, and it hasn’t made anything better. You did. I love you. Please tell me where you are. I’ve never let you fall, Lily, and I won’t this time either.

There’s no point waiting for a response. Lily’s instinct is to retreat. I triggered it, and now I’ll suffer the consequences.

∞∞∞

The big house is empty, but the driveway isn’t. My stomach drops at the familiar car parked out front. I check the hood. It’s cool.

She’s been here for a while.

The key jams in the front lock, so I wiggle it. Two failed attempts later, I get the door open and stumble inside.

She’s lying on the sofa, covered with a blanket and reading a book.

“You’re here,” I say. My stomach drops.

“Where else would I be?”