The Player Penalty (SteelTrack Racing #3)

38-Julian

Phoenix Raceway

“Julian.” Lily pinches my chin to inspect my features better. “You look like you’re about to throw up.”

Considering the season’s final race is about to start, that makes complete sense. “It’s possible that happens. More than once.” Championship races can do that to you.

“Will it help if I join you?”

Her question melts away some of my tension, and I laugh. We’re minutes from starting engines and discussing whether we should throw up together. “Yes, actually, it would.”

“Save us that horror,” Jake says, interrupting us. He wears his usual cocky smile, pulling me into a last-minute hug. “You’ve been fantastic all season, and I’m proud to be a part of it. I’ll be watching you on the track, so if you need me, send a bat signal or flash your headlights.”

“We don’t have headlights,” I point out.

“Then you’re shit out of luck,” he says, still wearing his trademark grin. “Seriously, you got this today. We’ll party later.”

It’s Boone’s turn next. “How are you?”

“Steady. Prepared.”

He nods. “No matter what happens, you’ve done everything right. Every block, every race, all of it. You have many people cheering you on today, most of all me. You’ve done good, Julian.”

Yes, I’m definitely going to vomit. An empty stomach might be best, so nothing is left during the race.

“Julian.” Pete removes his trucker hat, and it stays off for once. His white hair stays glued to his scalp. He swallows, and I ready myself for another round of congratulations and calls for good luck. “You have one of the best cars I’ve ever seen; it’ll work hard for you today. You don’t need more pep talks or an attaboy from me, as they’ve been coming steady at you all day. Remember this: everything you need can be found here.” He thumps my chest. “Or here.” He does the same to my forehead. “They’ll get the job done for you. Now, go climb in and make yourself proud.”

Shit. How many punches to the gut can one man take? “I’ll do my best.”

“How’s your stomach? If we’re throwing up together, you need to send me a signal because it will be embarrassing. You get to drive off while I’m stuck here pretending nothing happened.” Lily managed the perfect words without even trying.

“I love you so much.”

“Julian,” she starts, and I brace. It’s been a day of shouted congrats and offers of luck given with a handshake. After a point, it feels like another form of pressure, and I don’t want that from her. “You want to go to a movie tomorrow?”

I release a breath as my shoulders relax. “That would be wonderful. Come here.” We hold each other for the remaining few seconds. Other drivers have already climbed in, and they’ll need to delay the start if I don’t get moving soon.

Lily gets up on her tiptoes and whispers in my ear. “We’ll split the popcorn; you’ll need to get your own drink.”

“That’s fair.”

“See you in a little while.”

Lily deliberately avoids the good luck calls a second time. It’s easy to say she gets me because it’s true. She also understands that repeatedly hearing the phrase becomes pressure instead of encouragement.

I climb through the missing window, and the roar of the engines takes over.

∞∞∞

Rivers Motorsports Headquarters, North Carolina

It’s only fall; it’s way too early for such a chilly night. I zip up my thin jacket and prepare for one final phone call. It’s been planned all day, but this is the first time I’ve sneaked off for more than a few seconds since yesterday.

There’s no chance he’ll answer this time since he never has before. There’s no insult or put-down he can deliver, either. He’s probably sitting in his easy chair in Florida, still angry at the world. He’ll spend the rest of his life there, and that’s fine with me. “It’s me. Julian.” My usual introduction is gone; there’s no point to it. “I took home the trophy yesterday. You missed out, and that’s your choice. Lily and I are still together. She’s the one for me.” The black velvet box sitting in my hand begs to be opened. It will need to wait a little longer. “Her father is moving into my guest house, so we can all be close. We call it our second home because it is, and we take turns cooking dinner for each other. We’re becoming a family. I’m better than I’ve ever been. Also, this is my last message to you. I’m removing your phone number and contact info after this. Have a good life, Dad.”

After a few quick taps, his contact info is gone, just as promised.

“That must have been rough.” Jake steps onto the back porch, surprising me. “Sorry for spying. Sarah asked me to pick up her papaya extract.” He shakes a small brown bottle. “These help with heartburn. Was that your father?”

I shake my head. “That was a voicemail. We don’t talk.”

Jake nods. “His loss. Mine died when I was sixteen. Bert isn’t my father, and neither of us thinks of him as one. Still, there are times he feels like it, you know? He also needs to be with us at Christmas because he’s part of our family. You’ll see him at Thanksgiving, for sure.”

I’ve spent the holiday season alone for four years now. Lily will be with me this time, but more people? I’ve almost forgotten what that’s like. “What Thanksgiving?”

“Oops. Well, consider this a personal invitation. Sarah and Maddie are planning that weekend, and you’re on the invite list. All three of you.”

“I’ll pretend to be surprised.”

∞∞∞

“There you are.” Sarah takes a couple of little pills from Jake and chews. “Sweet relief. I was not prepared for this.”

Jake puts the back of his hand to her forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

She sighs. “That’s not a symptom.”

“Are you sick?” I ask and take an imperceptible step back. It’s the first day of my off-season, and there are better things to do than spend it miserable in bed.

“Not even a little.” She takes more of the papaya extract. “I was right about you, after all.”

“Bringing me on paid off, didn’t it?”

“No, Julian.” Her scolding frown makes clear how wrong I am. “I was right that you belong with us here at RMS. You found your true love, and we found you.”

“You need to sit. Take it slow.” Jake tries gently pushing her into a nearby chair. Sarah only glares. “What? It’s important to get plenty of rest.”

She scoffs. “I’m not dying.”

“Correct. That’s because I’m taking care of you,” he says.

I shake my head with confusion and leave them be. Jake is a great guy, but also a bit of an odd one.

∞∞∞

Lily’s animated discussion with Maddie is still ongoing. I want to interrupt but also recognize her happiness. She begins her preschool career after the new year, teaching twice a week, leaving plenty of time for a volunteer coordinator role.

I’m proud and also relieved because it means she’ll be on the road with me for most of the next season.

“A new trophy case was ordered this morning,” Boone says. “We’re creating a tribute to this season in the main entryway for every visitor. How are you feeling after all this? It’s been a hectic 24 hours.”

“Honestly? Still a little numb. After everything, I’ll be sorry to see this season go.”

His understanding nod tells me Boone feels much the same way. “Is anything special planned during the off-season?”

Lily has school twice a week, and her semester doesn’t end until later in December. “Start getting ready for the next one. Have you decided what to do with the rookie?”

Sam showed potential a year ago, and she’s lived up to none of it.

“You’ll be one of the first to know.”

“I’ll keep working with her in the meantime.”

“Hey, heads up. Madelyn and Sarah have planned a Thanksgiving celebration. It’s three days at some giant cabin. It’s intimate; we’re limiting it to family, so I’m giving you a heads-up now.”

Jake indicated the same. Strange. “Why are you telling me?”

He stares like the answer should be obvious. “Because they’ll be disappointed if you don’t come, and I don’t like it when Madelyn’s feelings are hurt. It’s only family, too, so not that many people—you guys, the four of us, my parents, Jake’s mom.

Boone wants his wife to be happy. Now, that makes sense. He can be sullen away from her, but Boone turns into a boisterous sweetheart when Madelyn is around.

“I’ll be surprised when they ask.”

“And you’ll say yes,” he says.

“We will say yes.”

∞∞∞

It took most of the post-celebration celebration to get back to her.

“There you are,” she says. “Sarah told me we’re invited to Thanksgiving. It’s family only, so not that many people. We need to act surprised when Maddie invites us. So, act surprised, and be ready to say yes.”

“You don’t say?” Thanksgiving feels like a conspiracy. “You want to go?”

“Do you?”

Boone’s list of people isn’t particularly daunting. A couple of days to relax and celebrate? Lily would be with me the entire time. Even Pete would enjoy it. “Yes, I think I do.”

“It’s settled then. Christmas needs to be just us. Dad will be settled into the little house by then, so we’ll plan something special.”

“It all sounds perfect.” Every bit of it, especially all the assumptions included with her plans.

“You remember our plans?”

Most of my pre-race memory is hazy from stress and nerves, while her calming influence is still very clear. “You invited me to the movies.”

“Are you having a good time here, or should we sneak out when no one is looking?”

The small box in my pocket bumps against my thigh. “I want to be with you.”

“Then, let’s go.”