Chapter 8
When she calls me James, it makes me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t think of telling her a full lie, so she got a half-truth. My middle name is James. Technically, I shouldn’t feel rotten, but I do. I’m almost balls deep in the only woman I’ve ever fucking loved, making her scream with passion, and she doesn’t even know it’s me.
Coward.
The word haunts me with each thrust, but it doesn’t stop me. No, I’m going to give Julie every ounce of myself in this moment. It’s the only way I’m going to be able to continue to live apart from her—knowing I’ve had her.
Staking my fucking claim on her. She won’t want another fucking soul once I’m done with her tonight. I’m so lost in my pleasure that I don’t hear her whimpering at first.
Julie is tense, but her eyes are closed, and her mouth is open in pleasure. “You like this, Sugar Plum?” Goddamn, I love that nickname for her. She’s sweet and juicy as she takes my cock, and I squeeze her breast in my hand, making her arch into me.
Does she like it rough?
Those beautiful, soulful eyes look at me, and she smiles. “Yes. I…”
“Aren’t a virgin anymore,” I growl and thrust my hips harshly against her.
A nervous giggle leaves her lips and she nods. “Not anymore. You…you feel good inside me now.”
“That’s my sweet Sugar Plum.” The more I sweet talk her, the more she gives to me. I should be ashamed of myself, but I’m not. Hell no. I’m finally getting what I’ve always wanted.
Moving my free hand up to her throat, I pin her to the bed and gauge her reaction. Her pouty lips open in surprise, but her pussy clenches around me, and I smirk.
“Yeah, you like it rough, don’t you?”
She doesn’t respond to me with her words. Her actions speak loud enough, though. Julie tightens her legs against me, and I’m officially balls deep inside of her. I moan in pleasure as she trembles around me.
Fuck.
Julie just came all over me, and it cements that I should have done this a few years ago. Better late than never, I tell myself as I lose myself in her pleasure. Letting go of all thought, I focus on how she throbs around me.
“Fuck, Julie. That’s it. Milk my cock.”
My thrusts become frantic as I squeeze her throat a bit more. “James, ohhhhhh.”
At first, I’m afraid I’ve gone too far. But when her pussy clutches me even tighter as a second wave of her orgasm rushes through her, I laugh. My mind is all over the place with pleasure, and I lose my ability to hold my orgasm back. It rocks me at how intense we are together and how lost I am in her.
Holding as still as I can, I kiss Julie as our bodies shake with the heaviness of our bliss. As my cock softens, I pull out of her. That little intake of breath from her hurts my heart to know she’s in pain.
“It’s going to be alright. Let me get a warm washcloth. Then I’ll curl up with you.”
“Okay.” She’s shy now, and I kiss her one more time before I get off her and move around to the bathroom.
Quickly, I clean myself up and sigh. The guilt is hitting me fiercely, but I refuse to let myself miss this time to love on her.
Even if it’s temporary.
* * *
After I cleaned her up,I laid down with her, kissing her lips and pulling the covers over us. She was out within a second, leaving me to my thoughts.
Being asleep didn’t last long. Fuck, when she shifted and wrapped herself around me, my cock woke with a fiery need. I ended up turning her over on her stomach and fucking her again. My girl loves it from behind.
It’s two in the morning, and Julie is sound asleep after our fourth love-making session. I should wake her, take off this damn mask and show her who I am. But I don’t.
Fighting with myself, I sit there, running my hand down her silky hair. I want to delve deep into her again. Her pussy is fucking addicting.
But now, I have to leave. If I don’t she’s going to wake to see I’m not just James, but Aaron. I can’t have that. Not now. Like the fucking prick that I am, I slip from the bed and put my clothes on. Taking the cloth that I cleaned my cum and her virgin blood with, I leave the room.
At least I gave Julie endless pleasure. That’s the only thing I can give myself to keep me from going back into the dorm room. Besides, I have the cameras. I’ll be able to see the aftermath of what I’ve done.
Well, what James did.
Pulling out of the parking lot, I drive slowly to the airport. My coach told me I couldn’t miss any more practices and I have one tomorrow. This college football career is fucking tough.
I’m on the chopping block constantly for everything I fucking do, and the number of press conferences I have to attend is ridiculous. Most people would say I’m being stupid and should be excited that I am working my way to becoming a professional athlete.
Thinking about the press and how they would eat my Sugar Plum up over her weight or that she isn’t my type eats at me. I have to keep my distance, or she will be in the crossfire. That’s not acceptable since I’m trying to be a part of my team. I already get shit for not dating or taking up the free pussy around me.
Why couldn’t I be like my twin? Stay in our small ass town and run the family business? Shaking my head, I get out of my rental, turn in the keys, and head into the area where my gate awaits me. I’m surprised my bag didn’t get checked. How the hell would I explain that I have a bloody rag in there?
Laughing to myself, I realize I’m being a little bitch and need to get over myself. Placing earbuds in my ear, I get my phone out and text my sister.
Me
I know it’s way too early to be texting, but just checking in on you. How are the parents? And how are you? Still moaning over Jackson leaving?
I shouldn’t be an asshole about Jackson. Hell, I’m not much better than him. At least he’s not pretending to be someone he isn’t. My brain mocks me. Our parents dissolved once Bryson went into the military. Father was proud when Bry got promoted within months of entering. Mother lost her shit and left. She’s been on a bender ever since.
Twin
I’m fine. Just working on the fence. Fuck Jackson. If he didn’t want to handle the long distance, he should have said something before he left for college. But it’s whatever. Mom is…well, she’s in the hospital, but she didn’t want anyone to know. Trying to get clean.
What the fuck?
Me
How long?
I grit my teeth and try not to crush my phone in my hand.
Twin
Two weeks. But don’t worry. Dad is here and staying with me to help with the repairs.
The guilt is coming back, and I feel like drowning in a bottle of whiskey. Considering my mother is in rehab for alcoholism, that would be a stupid move.
Me
If you need me to come home, I will.
As I send the text, I realize I would jump at moving back home. God, maybe I should have never left the state. Maybe I should have gone to college at UT Arlington like the plan had been.
Twin
No. You are not coming home like this. If you want to come home and quit football, that’s one thing, but not because you feel obligated to come here.
Kaylee has always been the wise one. I would end up resenting having to come home, but I would do it. Hell, a break from football would be good, but she’s right. I’d be bored within a few weeks.
Me
Keep me updated. The plane is leaving. Love ya.
I put my phone away and walk onto the plane, wondering if I’m making the right decision. A humorless laugh escapes me as I sit down in the first-class seat. It seems my life is full of me asking what the fuck am I doing.