20. Elric
20
ELRIC
E lric carries Marko up the stairs of Sparrows’ Hall, following Lukas, who lights their way with a candle taken from one of the tables.
He should have run by now, Elric thinks. The midnight bells have come and gone. He considered it when Lukas went to the privy, leaving him alone in the public room. But somehow he found himself, instead, singing with the raucous crowd, scanning around for Lukas’s return, thrilled by the idea of Lukas coming back to dance and sing with him.
And because he stayed, he has found out some interesting information. Information that could be useful. He is very curious about what else Lukas has to tell him. Something he didn’t want to say in the public room.
And it isn’t too late to run, he tells himself. He will wait until Lukas sleeps and steal away then. There is still time before dawn.
Back in the room, Lukas sits on the bed. Marko jumps from Elric’s arms and claims her sleeping spot on the pillow. Lukas strokes her and, at the same time, beckons Elric with his hook to come sit beside him.
When Elric does, Lukas says, “You know, this isn’t how I planned to spend this night in Lunatum.”
Elric looks at him. “No? What were you going to do?”
Lukas’s voice is plain. “I meant to spend this night tracking down some old friends and killing them.”
“Oh?” says Elric. He is not surprised by this confession. He knows Lukas is a killer and he has no doubt there are people in Lunatum he would like to see dead. “Who?” he asks, looking at Lukas sweetly.
Lukas pauses. He pauses for so long that Elric wonders if he has changed his mind about telling this story.
Finally, Lukas says, “I told you, that after they cut off my hand I was taken back to Lunatum gaol.”
“I remember,” Elric says.
“My wound was dealt with there by a rough and careless healer, who treated the bloody place where my hand had been with boiling brine and heated metal. That treatment pained me a thousand times more than the axe had. The healer came daily with his ministrations, for about half a turn of the moon, I think. It’s hard to be sure how much time passed. My cell was mostly dark and I had a wild fever for some of it. I was unsure what would become of me, but I lived, I suppose. The stump of my wrist healed. Much to the bare ugly thing you see today. After that, the head enforcer came to my cell and informed me that my punishment was complete and I would be free to go if I simply told them where the sword I stole was hidden.”
“But you didn’t tell them,’ says Elric. “Did you not want to leave?”
“I spat on that enforcer’s shiny boots instead." He looks at Elric with his dark eyes. “And that was a very foolish decision.”
“What did they do to you?”
Lukas takes out his pipe. He sets it on the bed and pulls out a pouch of moonleaf, stuffing a pinch into the bowl with his thumb as he says, “The enforcer looked at me and he smiled. He said, ‘I was hoping you’d do something stupid’.” Lukas lights the pipe with the candle he has set on the table beside the bed. He takes a long inhale and blows out the smoke as he says, “He had some of his men outside. About half a dozen. They were his special squad, he said. He told me they were restless and that he needed to give them someone to calm them. He’d promised them that if I refused to give up the sword it would be me.”
Elric looks at Lukas. He cannot think of anything to say, so he says nothing. Lukas’s meaning is clear.
Lukas says, “They all came into my cell and they lined up against the wall. Each of them gazing at me as if I was a joint of meat that had been tossed to them in the midst of a famine.”
Elric still says nothing. He reaches out and takes hold of Lukas’s hook. He can feel tears prickling in his eyes. Elric has experienced all kinds of things working for his father in the Rose Palace. Some — most really — were quite pleasurable, others he had to endure. But there had never been anything like this. He was a treasured concubine and treated as such. Lukas had been a whore turned thief. A disposable criminal.
“They all used me,” Lukas says plainly. “They hurt me. They laughed at me while they did it. It was worse than losing my hand. Far worse. At the time anyway. And that happened three times before the Mortingales broke me out of there. But while it was going on, I thought it might go on forever. Until it killed me.”
“And you still never told them,” Elric says, “where the sword was.”
“They only asked about the sword that first time. I think now, they didn’t truly care about the sword at all. They were going to do that to me anyway. And after they’d done what they did, I never wanted to see that cursed sword again. So,” Lukas takes another long drag on his pipe. “I was going to spend this night in Lunatum finding as many of those enforcers as I could and killing them. I would know their faces. Even today. Half a dozen of them and the head enforcer. Seven men. I came here for their blood. But then I spent all day fucking you and… I don’t know. I think I’d rather do this. I’d rather spend this last night with you, feeling something real and good, than thinking about the past and the things that happened to me.”
There’s silence then. They both look at each other. Elric has tears on his cheeks but Lukas’s expression is plain and numb.
Elric feels strange. Rash and reckless. He knows he is being a fool before he even begins to speak, but he cannot stop himself. He says, “I had planned to spend this evening looking for a chance to run and vanish into Lunatum. That was always what I meant to do. Right from the start. I knew my stepmother and Vindar expected my mission to be attacked by the Mortingales. But I also knew that if I could survive that, then I might be able to persuade my captors to ransom me. I assume Vindar had also thought of this. That he intended to ensure no ransom would ever be paid. I have been wondering lately if perhaps Frin and the others had their own orders. To ensure I was killed if the outlaws captured me and tried to take me somewhere. And that was why they attacked us. But before I knew about that, I assumed Vindar merely meant for me to be killed by outlaws either clumsily, or as a message about what happens when a noble son’s ransom demand goes unmet. But I knew that if I were to be ransomed you’d have to take me to Lunatum. It’s the closest place you could contact my father. I intended to vanish when we arrived. I’d be taken by the Mortingale Outlaws to a lawless port city and never seen again. Vindar would likely think his scheme had worked.”
After a pause, Lukas says, “You wanted to know about the luxoli house.”
“That seemed like it could be a useful place to know about. Luxoli is what I’m good at. But I haven’t run. I never expected…” Elric looks down at his hands.
“A Bastard Prince?” Lukas says.
“I did wonder if I’d meet you, everyone has heard of you. But I never expected to like you. I never expected you to upend my plans.” Elric looks into Lukas’s silver-flecked eyes. He plays with Lukas’s hook, running his hands over the smooth metal. “It’s proving much harder than I thought to do what I planned to do... I am…,” he looks at Lukas, bashfully. “I am struggling to leave you.”
Lukas looks at Elric. He looks hollowed out. Like a ghost of a man. “Then do not.”
“Do not? Stay right here and let you trade me to the Plumians to my certain death when my father refuses to give a single shred of their land back in return for me?”
“No. Not that. I cannot give you to the Plumians,” says Lukas. “No more than you can run into the night. Elric,” he says, calmly and quietly. “I have known that for some time. I have simply not allowed myself to think on it. Lordling, you are right that you must run. I simply mean that you should not run from me. We have time before dawn. Let's run tonight. Together. Let us both vanish into Lunatum. You have a full purse.”
Elric shakes his head. This is not what he expected Lukas to say, “No, Silverhand, no. You cannot give up like that. Don’t you want to rope me down so I cannot run? Make sure you get that envoy to mark your papers from Abul and so you can lead the Mortingales.”
Lukas shakes his head. “None of that matters.”
“None of that matters? What about death to Emperor Selim?”
“There will be other ways to kill Selim. I will find them. We could find them together. Why not?”
Elric shakes his head. He looks serious. “Because… No. Lukas, I cannot. You cannot run with me.”
“Why? Whyever not?” Lukas looks quite happy. He has no idea what he is suggesting. “We could go to the docks. Find a ship. We could go anywhere. Zai, Lordling. I cannot live without your mouth, truly. And not just that. Not just your mouth. Elric, I love you. I?—”
Elric stops the confession with a kiss, pressing his mouth soft to Lukas’s, pulling back only a moment later, breath coming ragged as his heart sinks like stone. He thinks of Red Wolf. That night by the fire, telling him Lukas deserves to be loved by someone who hasn’t betrayed him. “I love you too, but… No. No, we can’t. We…” He tails off. His handsome Bastard Prince. His broken outlaw. He cannot let him do this. “Please, Silverhand. There is no future for you with me. There can never be. I will not run. I cannot. You have to trade me,” Elric says weakly. “Please, just give me to the Plumians and gain your prize.”
Lukas looks at Elric with his face pale. “Lordling, I cannot.”
“You have to. Lukas, we cannot be together, you and I. We cannot because…” Elric takes a big heavy breath. He realises now something has changed inside him. Something so deep it frightens him. He realises how he feels about Lukas. And he knows, with a sure heart, that he cannot keep the truth from him any longer. Telling Lukas he planned to run is not enough. He has to tell him everything.
Lukas deserves to know what kind of person he told his most closely guarded secret to, whatever happens as a result.
“Lukas,” Elric says simply, plain and bold, “it was me who ruined you. Not Red Wolf. I was the reason they knew you were planning to raid the Rose Palace and assassinate Selim…” Elric breaks off, tears coming now. “Lukas, it was me. It was all my fault.”
“What?” Lukas looks mystified. “Lordling, what are you saying? That cannot be. How ever could you have been involved in that?”
“Lukas, please, it’s true. Everything that has happened to you. All the things that broke you. They are all my fault.”
Lukas stares. “Elric, I don’t understand. How can anything that happened to me have to do with you? It was Red Wolf. Red Wolf traded secrets to the Rose Court. He told me so himself. He told me as he lay dying in my arms.”
Elric shakes his head. The truth feels like a heavy weight on his chest.
"Lukas, five years ago, I was the finest male concubine in the Rose Palace. My father had me lie in the beds of wealthy men. It made him rich and earned him favours. But his ascension wasn’t only down to that. How could it have been? You know yourself how high he climbed. It was not all from my skills with my mouth.” Elric stops and sighs. “My father traded in secrets. Secrets I learned in the beds I was sent to. My father bought his position as Warden of Pluma-Ferris with the greatest secret I ever learned in a bedchamber.”
Lukas’s jaw is hard. “And that secret was the planned raid? You knew about that? How? How could you have possibly known?”
“Chancellor Vindar has many contacts. He is the Thousand Eyes, and those eyes belong to people in his pay, all over the Empire. Many of them would travel to the Rose Palace for audiences with him. They would be entertained lavishly, and discreetly, with whatever their hearts desired. The finest hospitality the Rose Palace had to offer. Food, drink. And, of course, whores. And if their tastes ran sly, that would mean me.”
Lukas is staring. “And Vindar’s contacts would have included a spy from the Mortingales. And if that man was sly…?”
Elric nods. “Yes. You see? One of the men they gave me to was Red Wolf.”
“So you and Red Wolf had met before?” Lukas’s face is pale. His voice is dull. “You met him at dinner with Abul. But neither of you seemed surprised to see the other?”
“We already knew the other would be there. He came to me, Red Wolf, that first night when you had me in that cellar. You told him about me. You must have done. When he came to me he threatened me, but I struck a bargain with him. I agreed to tell no one I knew him from his time as a spy if he freed me when we arrived in Lunatum. Of course, he never got to do that. But that was my arrangement with him. To keep my silence.”
“Elric,” Lukas says firmly, “if you were made to lie with Vindar’s spies, that is no fault of yours. It is no fault of yours what secrets they betrayed to Vindar.”
It would be easy, Elric thinks, to leave it at that. Red Wolf is dead. Lukas might never find out the truth of Elric’s part in it. But Elric cannot do that. Lukas has been betrayed too many times. “No, no. No, you see. He didn’t tell them. Red Wolf didn’t tell them about the raid. I am sure he had passed other news along before. I saw him four times, maybe five…” Elric takes a breath. “Please, Lukas, you must understand. Yes, Red Wolf was a traitor. He came to the Rose Palace and met with Vindar. But that night — it was half a moon before the raid — and he lay with me and I could tell he was so conflicted. He had something big to tell Vindar. But he couldn’t do it. And now I can see why. He knew what it would mean if he told Vindar about the raid. His brother was part of that raiding party. As were you. He would be condemning you all. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. In the morning, when he was due to go to his meeting with Vindar, he told me he wasn’t going to speak to him and asked me if I knew a way that he could leave the Rose Palace in secret. I sent him out via the servants’ door on Tack Street. He kissed me before he left and said I would never see him again. That he couldn’t do it anymore. He never told Vindar about the raid. And he was true to his word. I never did see him again, until,” Elric shrugs, “Until you captured me.”
“He didn’t…” Lukas looks grave. “He didn’t hurt you? When he discovered you tied up in the cellar?”
Elric shakes his head. “No. Red Wolf has never hurt me. Even back in the Rose Palace. I sucked him. He was sweet to me. I told you, I mostly enjoyed what I did and that was down to men like him.”
Lukas looks frozen for a moment. When he speaks his voice sounds small and far away. “And Red Wolf didn’t betray me? He didn’t tell them about the raid on the Rose Palace?”
Elric shakes his head. “No. He was meant to. But he couldn’t.”
“Then why did he tell me he did?”
“He didn’t. He told you he was the spy. And that’s true. He was. He certainly told Vindar other things. More trivial things and, I understand, was well rewarded for them. But he wasn’t the one who told Vindar about the planned assassination. I don’t think he ever knew who did. I think if he did know it was me who had done so, he would have cut my throat in that cellar. But all I was to him was someone who could reveal his shameful secret. That he had been the spy in the Mortingales. He didn’t know the truth of what I had truly done.”
Again, it takes Lukas a while before he can speak. “Then how did they know about it if Red Wolf never told them?”
Elric nods. He is sure Lukas knows what he is about to say. Nevertheless. He must say it. Lukas needs to hear this from Elric’s lips. He deserves that. “Me. My father traded in two things. My body and the secrets I learned with it. He was delighted when I was used as entertainment for Vindar's visitors. That meant far more opportunities to gather information. I was never at the meetings where secrets were passed on. But I would usually sleep in the chambers where the visitors stayed the night before they met with Vindar. Except I would not sleep. I would see to their pleasure and when they slept, I would search their clothing for documents, papers, anything useful. Not all of them brought their secrets in the form of papers. But some did. Red Wolf was one of the spies who would always have papers. I would find the papers they were to give to Vindar, read them and memorise them. My father had me tutored in languages, even in common types of cipher so I could understand all I read.”
“So you were a spy?”
Elric shakes his head. “No. I was simply a whore who read papers. But when Red Wolf left before his meeting, I was brought to Vindar. He asked me if I knew what Red Wolf had been sent to tell him. I don’t think they knew I read papers in the night. I think he was just hoping Red Wolf had let something slip to me while I pleasured him. But, of course, I knew. I knew everything. And I saw no reason not to tell Vindar. They didn’t…” Elric pauses and swallows. “They didn’t torture me or anything. I simply told them what I had read. I liked my job and I wanted to please Chancellor Vindar.”
“And your father bought himself a Lordship and his role as Warden of Pluma-Ferris with the greatest secret you ever learned?”
Elric nods again. “Yes. The same secret which destroyed you. Led to everything that has happened to you. Including the story you told me tonight. So you see, you cannot run away with me. There cannot be a future for you with me. Because I am the one who betrayed you. And I cannot let you throw your dream of leading the Mortingales away for someone like me. For the person who ruined you.” Elric slips off the bed and onto his knees. “I cannot run. Because I know now that I don’t deserve to run away and start a new life after what I did to you. Lukas, I know what I owe you. Let me try and repay it. Trade me to the Plumians. To whatever fate that brings me. Trade me to the Plumians and make that alliance. Take your place as the commander of the Mortingales, because if I can do that for you, perhaps it will be able to finally repair what I did. Let me do this for you, as penance.”
Lukas is silent for a long time. Eventually, he says, “No. I cannot do that.”
Elric is still on his knees on the floor. He turns his sore eyes up to Lukas, “Silverhand, you have to. Please.”
But Lukas shakes his head. Face set. Hard as stone. “No. I will make that alliance. I will. I will find a way. But I cannot trade you. I cannot be sure you will be safe. Or even that your father will not decide he wants you back and makes some kind of deal with them and you will end up back at the Rose Palace after all. I will not let you sacrifice yourself for me.”
“You cannot still want to run with me. After what I have told you.”
“I do not. I will not. But I will not trade you. You must run. As you always planned. It is too late now. The streets of Lunatum are not safe after the midnight bell for someone who doesn’t know them well. You must wait until dawn.”
“You meet the Plumian envoy at dawn.”
Lukas nods thinking. “Yes. You will join us. That way the envoy will see you and know we are true. We will meet the Plumians with Inga and Little Lamb. But I will find a way to cause a distraction. Somehow. And when I do, you will run. Take your coin purse and run. Do as you wish to do.”
“Where will I go?”
Lukas touches his hook with his hand as if considering the part Elric played in his loss. His hook, his reputation, his chance to kill Emperor Selim. “Underlia,” he says, his voice as cold as Elric has ever heard it, “I don’t care.”