22. Vertigo
Chapter 22
Vertigo
SONGBIRD
E lio and I will be closing the gala with an upbeat tune, but as I’m setting up the mic, Devi strolls onto the stage. The satisfied curl of her damn perfect mouth spell trouble. Her gold, semi-translucent dress reveals the shape of her breasts, and the sight is almost too erotic and distracting for me to notice the long matching bow propped over her back, or the crystalline arrow in her grip.
The intoxicated crowd quiets down. If even the strongest of us turn into bumbling idiots in her presence, I can’t imagine what the villagers must feel like, considering some of them are mortal.
“Before the last musical number, I have a surprise of my own to share.” She licks her purple-painted lips. “Dear cousins and citizens of Augustus, I present to you a love arrow sharp enough to pierce a Fae’s heart.”
My pulse swirls at the news.
Wry laughs and dubious exclamations buzz through the crowd.
“Look at her…”
“What did she say?”
“It’s impossible.”
“Is this a joke?”
“Shut up and listen,” Aidan roars over the rowdy chatter. His arms are crossed over his chest, his entire posture rigid and uncharacteristic.
He’s been in a sour mood since he got here. I almost thought he was going to faint, earlier, when I whispered his full initials. His skin was warm, and I couldn’t resist the urge to brush my lips to his ear. I figured he might be upset that Ezra had shared such an intimate and personal secret with me, but I also expected him to be proud of my success, in a way. For it to tie us together tighter. Instead, he just looks… hollow.
“I need two volunteers,” Devi announces. “One will write down their full name, in discreet calligraphy, along the shaft of the arrow. Then, I will shoot someone else, and until dawn, my target will feel genuine romantic love for them—the same way it works for a mortal.”
My heart plunges past my feet when Aidan climbs onto the stage. “Shoot me.” He’s so close, barely two feet away, yet I’ve never felt a wider chasm between us.
The devil of Spring raises her perfectly plucked brows. “Aren’t you afraid to endanger your precious…jewels?”
“You can play with my jewels anytime, Devi,” he jokes with his back to me, and my mouth dries up.
“Remove your shirt, then. I don’t want to miss.”
Howls and cat calls erupt from the crowd as Aidan unbuttons his vest and shirt and dumps them over the edge of the stage. A heavy lump settles in my throat as I stare at the smooth expanse of his back. Why did he choose to wear gold tonight? Any of the women here would be all too eager to sleep with him. And I’m not naive enough to believe he would turn them down.
“There’s a catch, though,” Devi adds.
Aidan chuckles, shaking his head. “Isn’t there always?”
“Are you in love, Aidan? Because if you’ve already fallen for someone else, it would be dangerous for me to shoot you.” Devi grins from ear to ear. “I’m not speaking in jest.”
Aidan’s smirk falters, and he scratches the back of his head before jumping off stage and picking up his clothes from the ground. “Choose someone else, then.”
“Sounds like Aidan found himself a nice mortal girl in the new world,” Johan booms over the gossip.
I catch Ezra’s gaze across the square, the Prince of Light looking quite glum, too.
A feline smile stretches Devi’s lips before she turns to Iris. “Will you do the honors, Little Flower? You’re not in love with anyone, right?”
“My heart is free as a bird.”
“She’s your friend. How are we to know she’s not pretending?” Aidan asks Devi with his eyes narrowed.
“Make her fall for Elio, and I’ll believe it,” Ezra cracks.
Blood drains from Elio’s face, my friend already sitting on the piano bench. “Please don’t.”
But Ezra doubles down on his suggestion, the wicked shard of his soul rising to the occasion. “We all know my brother would never press his advantage, and this way, we’ll be sure it’s real.”
“Come on, Elio. I’m game for a kiss, if it works,” Iris adds with a wink.
Blood flushes Elio’s neck, and he gives a small incline of the head, clearly unwilling to argue this further in front of everyone.
“Perfect. We have consent on both parts. Let’s see.” Devi hands over the arrow and a pen to Elio.
He quickly writes down his name along the shaft and rises to his feet to hand it over.
Iris raises her arms to the sky, her lips pursed in a daring, seductive pout. “Alright, I’m ready.”
Devi nocks the arrow, her fingers steady on the string. It springs forward, whistling through the air, and bursts upon impact instead of sinking into Iris’s flesh. A warm red glow spreads over her heart, fading after a moment.
Iris glances down at her chest and pats the spot where the glow had shined the brightest. “Well?” she asks, her tone expectant.
“How about that kiss now, Iris?” Devi quips.
I hold my breath as Iris struts over to Elio in her gold heels and plants a kiss on his mouth. My friend reaches for her arms, his hand curling around her wrists like he means to hold her off, but he thinks better of it and kisses her back instead. A throng of applause echoes across the square.
I can’t bring myself to clap along and plaster a fake smile on my lips instead. Elio didn’t want this, not really. It’s going to mess with his head.
After a very heated, very public make out session, Elio tears himself away, angling his face away from the crowd. “Alright, enough.”
Iris covers her mouth with her hand, looking positively shocked. Devi gives the crowd an impish curtsy before collecting her test subject and dragging her off stage.
Willow cups her hands around her mouth to amplify her voice. “Woo-hoo. Beth! Elio!” She sways from side to side even though we haven’t even started, drunk on flameroot wine. I’m partly to blame since I gave her my share, and a chuckle escapes me.
Iris whispers something in her ear, but instead of dialing it down, Willow shakes her roommate’s arms until the Spring Fae is dancing and laughing, too. The way Iris stares at Elio is pretty telling that Devi indeed managed to craft a love arrow sharp enough to pierce a Fae’s heart. It was staged, but she wasn’t faking it.
Ezra claps in his signature over-the-top attitude in the front row. “Beth. Beth. Beth.” My breath stutters as the villagers join in.
And then there’s Aidan sulking in the background, leaning on the old church’s fence, his gaze as vivid as a trail of fire ghosting along my shoulders.
“Err— Good evening.” My voice trembles, so I draw in a deep breath and adjust the height of the mic. “Elio and I bounced ideas around about what we wanted to play. This song by Irving Berlin just soared up the charts in the new world, and it got stuck in my head during our visit.”
The original song itself is pretty fast and upbeat, but since it’s just the two of us, Elio and I worked through the kinks of slowing it down.
I catch Aidan’s gaze and hold it for a moment, and a question flickers in his gaze, asking, What are you planning, Songbird?
Oh, he’s in for a treat.
I lick my lips. “I hope you enjoy it.”
I look over at Elio, and give him the go-ahead. I’m a mess of nerves, but as soon as the first lyrics come, a comforting certainty takes over me. I’m not used to singing in front of Fae royals, but in this moment, I have absolutely no second-guesses or fears that my voice is not good enough.
If one part of me is worthy of greatness, it’s my voice. And to sing is my ultimate release.
Listen to me, honey dear
Something's wrong with you I fear
It's getting harder to please you
Harder and harder each year
I don't want to make you blue
But you need a talking to
Like a lot of people I know
Here's what's wrong with you
Aidan squints, his arms braced on the fence behind him like he’s holding himself off from forging closer to the stage.
That’s right, Wonder boy. This one’s for you.
The chorus comes, and I unleash a buttload of sass.
After you get what you want, you don't want it
If I gave you the moon, you'd grow tired of it soon
You're like a baby
You want what you want when you want it
But after you are presented
With what you want, you're discontented
You're always wishing and wanting for something
When you get what you want
You don't want what you get
And if I sit upon your knee
You'll grow tired of me
'cause after you get what you want
You don't want what you wanted at all
The only thing I can see is Aidan, as if all the torch lights have suddenly shifted to him. His back is hunched, masking his true height, his jaw set in a hard line. I only meant to tease him, but he looks…destroyed by the song, and my heart races.
There's a longing in your eye
That is hard to satisfy
You're unhappy most of the time
Here's the reason why
— ADAPTED FROM LYRICS BY IRVING BERLIN
The chorus comes again, and I’m pleasantly surprised at all the people singing along. Devi even raises her cup in my direction, a glint of curiosity widening her silver gaze. When I circle back to the chorus, Aidan pushes off the fence and approaches her. Tonight is a fuck whoever the hell you want without consequences night. Looks like Aidan has decided to claim the ultimate prize.
Devi grins and nods at whatever he says.
The song ends, and I plaster a fake smile on my lips, the turmoil in my soul threatening to show on my face. “Thank you.” I hand off the mic to Willow, who’s looking at me funny.
She shakes off the tearful look on her face and addresses the crowd to close out the gala, wishing our audience a great solstice.
Elio peels himself from his piano bench and grins from ear to ear. “Blessed Flame. What a performance!”
“Right back at you.”
Students and villagers alike squeeze closer to the stage to shake my hand, and Iris is among them, her attention solely focused on Elio.
The jazz band takes over the stage to set up for the dance, and I slip to the ground, elbowing my way past Iris and following the curve of the platform, smiling gently at my new fans. What did they put in the flameroot wine for them to be so enamored with me after just one song? I humbly accept praises left and right, shaking hands as I make my way toward the cantina—until I bump into Zeke.
“Moth… you were hot up there,” he slurs, invading my personal space.
“Err—thanks.” I push him off me, taking advantage of his slow reflexes to lose him, racing between the dancers only to find Aidan gone. The boulder in my stomach pulses. I climb on the bottom part of the fence to peek over the crowd, but he’s vanished. And so has Devi.
Ezra catches up to me. “That was— You’re a star, Beth.”
I stand stock-still in front of him, tears welling up in my eyes. I don’t know what I expected, but I never thought my performance would drive Aidan into another woman’s arms.
Ezra leans closer. “Aidan left right as you stepped off stage. He took the shortcut toward the forest.”
I whisper a quick, “Thank you,” and slip off my heels before heading into the dark.
If Aidan whisked Devi away to celebrate the solstice, I need to see it—to cure myself of these half-formed fantasies. But as I run down the well-beaten path to the forest and catch sight of his lonely silhouette, my heart pounds harder with each step.
His hands are tucked deep inside his pockets.
He hears me before he sees me and spins around, squinting at the darkness. A hint of fire flares in his fists, and he crouches into a fighting stance, probably thinking a wild beast is stalking him. I skid to a stop, catching my breath, and wonder why I came—why I’m so happy to find him alone. So…deliriously relieved.
You know why, that pesky inner voice quips.
A hint of moonlight streams between the clouds, and with a grunt of acknowledgment, Aidan turns his back to me and continues his trek toward the short wooden bridge crossing the creek, a couple of tall pines now encroaching on the path. “That song… You think I’m some weak-minded fool, but that’s simply not true.”
Across the bridge, the grassy field gives way to a soft carpet of long pine needles and cushy moss. I skip forward, gaining ground on him with the help of my perfect night vision. “I didn’t write it.”
“I know,” he shouts, weaving carefully between the trees as the forest grows denser with every step. The rumbling creek widens and slows beyond the bridge, its waters flowing between the hills toward the ocean.
Aidan halts at the base of a massive white oak, its colossal trunk gleaming under the silvery moonlight spilling through the canopy above. The light bathes him in an otherworldly glow, and a pulse of magic hums through the air, beckoning me deeper into the forest—urgent, electric.
The scent of damp earth and crushed leaves hangs thick in the humid air, mingling with the sharp tang of pine sap and the sweetness of night-blooming jasmine. Crickets sing in a steady rhythm, their chorus accompanied by the low murmur of the wind whispering secrets only Aidan can hear.
His fingers trail over the oak’s rough bark. “I’m trying to do the right thing here.” He scans the path behind us with his lips pursed. “You should go. I’m waiting for someone.”
I cross my arms over my chest, the need to scratch his face for his flawed logic rising in my blood. “Doing the right thing by whom?”
“You,” he says as though it’s obvious.
“And why in the seven hells would you sleep with Devi to please me ?”
He doubles back, feral, bridging the distance between us. “Is that why you chased me here? I can’t have you, but I can’t have anyone else, either. Is that it?”
I scoff, digging the balls of my feet into the ground, recoiling from the implications of his statement. “Please, do whatever you want.”
His eyes narrow, taking stock of my bare feet. “Why did you run after me if you don’t care?”
“I had to see it for myself.”
He grins dryly, as if this is all a cruel joke. “I can’t lie, yet you don’t believe me when I tell you the only woman I want is you.”
“Because it doesn’t make sense. Devi’s more powerful, more beautiful. And she’s a princess.”
He rubs the bottom half of his face, avoiding my gaze. “Are you playing matchmaker now?”
I tip my chin up. Whatever he says, he still chose to be with someone else. Nobody forced him to proposition anyone, let alone the most sexual woman alive. “You’re the one who asked her to meet you here. And it wasn’t to talk or play cards.”
“Stop with that wounded look.” He gestures at the space between my brows. “I asked Devi to meet me here and shoot me with an arrow. To see if it could… cure me.”
“Cure you of what?”
He cups one side of my face. “Of my love for you.”
“You…love me?” I shudder at his touch, stretching to feel his heat, reeling from the weight of his confession.
“I thought I’d made that clear when I said I couldn’t think of anyone or anything but you. Hell, I had to admit it in front of everyone .”
“But— She said it was dangerous.”
“I’m at my wits’ end. After seeing you on that stage and hearing you sing… I have to try something .” He turns away, but I tug on the golden lapels of his vest for him to look at me.
“Aidan.”
“Now, when you breathe my name like that…it gives me hope. Don’t give me false hope, Songbird.”
“You were right. I feel it, too.” I try to find a graceful and eloquent explanation, but my hands are shaking. “I wasn’t kidding when I said being caught with you could ruin my whole life, so I pushed you away…” I glance at the ground between us. “But I wish I didn’t have to.”
A heavy sigh escapes him.
I play with my fingers, unable to meet his gaze. “Tonight’s different, though.”
He covers my hands with his. “Because of St. John’s Eve.”
He thinks he loves me, but I’d wager it’s only because he’s not allowed to. I’m his forbidden frost apple, so to speak—the only woman at the academy who’s too far beneath him for commitment.
Lust can be satiated. Maybe if I give in to my attraction for him once, the magnetic pull of his flames will wane, so I nod. “Yes. And tomorrow, we can finally turn the page.”
He rubs the back of his neck, his lips curled down as he considers my offer. “You came to me tonight because you figured it doesn’t count.”
“Even if someone found out… they couldn’t condemn me for it. Not without insulting your traditions.”
“You think one night will be enough?” He laces our fingers, slowly, reverently, like he wants to commit the sight of them entwined to memory. “I’ll still want you in the morning. And every morning after that.”
A sad smile glazes my lips. “We’ll see.”
His eyes gleam as if he’s taking my doubts as a challenge. “Dance with me, Songbird.” He holds out his other hand for me to take, but I glance around, nervous to see Devi appear between the trees.
“Here?” I hesitate.
“You’re right. I know a place where we won’t be disturbed.” He twirls me around and wraps his arm around my shoulder, never letting go of my hand. “Follow me.”