The Prince’s Heart

19. Chapter 19

Chapter nineteen

A s I walk through Mother’s chambers later that night, I’m struck by how they look exactly the same as they did before. There’s no real reason why they should look any different, but I still feel like something should have changed to reflect Father’s absence.

I haven’t exactly been avoiding her since Father and Samis died, but I haven’t been seeking her out either. At least, not until tonight. I know that she’s hurting, and I want to be there for her, but seeing her drives home just how much I’m missing, just how much my life has changed in the last week or so. At least now enough time has passed that I feel like I can talk to her without breaking down immediately.

Still, I have been avoiding one particular conversation with her for a couple of reasons, even though it has nothing to do with Father and Samis—not directly, at least—although that will change shortly. It will be painful, but Tag and I decided we need her advice.

When I get to the study, Mother is sitting at the piano, but she isn’t playing, just staring at the keys. She looks up when I enter and gives me a smile, but her eyes have the same haunted look they’ve had since Father first got sick. “Darien! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” I take a seat near her. “I know we haven’t really had a chance to talk recently, and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Her smile dries up like autumn leaves. “I’m doing as well as I can be, I suppose. I always knew there was a good chance that I’d outlive your father, but Samis…” She looks away for a moment before she turns her gaze back to me, tears welling up in her eyes. “But I still have you and Emma and Kenessa, and I’m grateful for that. This position is stressful enough as it is; doing it without having people you love and trust around you is next to impossible.”

I take her hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze. “You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?”

She squeezes my hand back and gives me a sardonic grin. “I think I’m the one who’s supposed to say that to you.”

“Actually, now that you mention it…” I try to return her smile, but I’m nervous, and it vanishes quickly. “There is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

She raises one eyebrow. “Oh? Do tell.”

I’m silent for a few moments, marshaling my courage. When I feel like I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be, I say, “I assume Father told you about me and Tag Leara?”

She nods slowly, her eyes narrowed a bit. “He did. At least, he said the two of you were courting at one point, but you called it off when he told you about Arbois.”

“That’s … not entirely true,” I reply, biting my lip. “I mean, the part about us courting is. But we never actually ended our courtship. We just … kept it private, I suppose.”

She closes her eyes and sighs, a long, slow exhale that leaves me with little doubt about what she’s thinking. “Darien, my son. I know your father could be … difficult at times, and I know that you and he didn’t always see eye to eye. To be fair, you weren’t alone—when he told me he was considering arranging a marriage for you without even getting your input on the matter, I told him he was making a mistake, that he was overreacting to my brother’s admittedly stupid squabble with the Khorians.” She opens her eyes and fixes her steely gaze on me. “But that was before everything changed, before the world turned upside down. Now, with things so unsettled … I’m sure you and Tag must like each other if you’re still courting after all that’s occurred. But you must understand that there are other things to consider.”

Her gaze bores into mine, but I don’t flinch. “You’re wrong about one thing,” I say quietly. “Tag and I don’t like each other. We love each other.”

Her expression softens a bit. “I understand, my son. Really, I do. If you were anyone else, maybe that would be enough. But you’re not just anyone. You’re the king now, the beating heart of Soeria. From now on, the decisions you make affect the entire country, and you must consider not only what’s best for you, but what’s best for the people you rule. It’s not fair, and you may hate it, but that’s the way it is. Your father knew that all too well, and he never stopped thinking about how he could work toward the greater good. If you want to be a good king, you’ll do the same.” Her voice gets quieter, but I can hear it crystal clear. “Even if you hate it, you may have to sacrifice your courtship with Tag, if that’s what’s best for the country.”

I don’t dare tell her how close she’s come to hitting on one of my deepest fears. “I understand that. But what if there was a way I could stay with Tag and ensure Soeria’s security?”

Her brows draw down. “I can’t imagine how you’d be able to do that, but if you have a suggestion, then I’m all ears.”

Here goes nothing . “I know Father was worried that our alliance with Zeteyon might not survive him. But your marriage contract doesn’t explicitly say that’s the case, right?”

“As I recall, the agreement was clear that the alliance would last during our marriage. But you’re correct that it doesn’t say what happens once it ends.”

“There’s a chance we can convince Uncle Zeikas to renew it, then?”

“It’s certainly possible. But then, my brother has always been one to follow the letter of the law, not the spirit. He may believe that the agreement is now void. If that’s the case, Soeria will be vulnerable, and we’d need to find another alliance. Arbois is our best chance at that.”

“He is,” I agree. “But who says that I need to marry him in order to create an alliance between us and Jirena Sadai?”

“You think Arbois would be willing to sign a treaty that doesn’t include a marriage provision? That seems … unlikely, to say the least. It’s not impossible, but I can’t think of what he would accept in exchange for an alliance besides your hand. Like it or not, Jirena Sadai is stronger than us, and they can afford to walk away from this palace without concluding an agreement. I’m not sure that we can say the same.”

I bite down rising desperation. “If they don’t need us, then why did he come here in the first place? He must be interested in something .”

“Perhaps,” she allows. “But I sincerely doubt that he’ll be willing to make an alliance without marrying you in the process.”

“It’s worth a shot, isn’t it? We’ll never know if we don’t try!”

Mother doesn’t respond, and I start to feel even more desperate.

“You said it yourself,” I say. “This job is hard enough as it is and doing it without people you love is next to impossible. I love Tag, and I don’t want to throw away what we have. If there’s a chance that I can stay with him and keep Soeria safe, any chance, I’m going to take it.”

She stares at me with an inscrutable expression while I sit in silence, breathing heavily, as though I’ve just spent an hour sword-fighting with Ivy. Then she sighs, looks down, and says, “You’re right. I suppose it’s worth a try. If there’s anything the last few weeks have taught me, it’s to value the ones you love, and I can’t disagree with you fighting for Tag.” She reaches out and takes my hand, holding it like her unblinking eyes still hold mine. “You do understand I’m hardly the only one you have to convince, correct? I doubt the council would be happy with you marrying the son of a viscountess, even if he is distantly related to royalty.”

“I know. But even if they’re not happy about it, they can’t stop me from marrying Tag, can they?”

She gives me a small, rueful smile. “Can they stop you? I highly doubt it, not if you’re that determined to get your way. But they can certainly make your life—and Tag’s life, for that matter—very difficult, and you might find yourself regretting your decision before too long. Although, I suppose it would be much easier to persuade them if we can tell them that we have alliances with Zeteyon and Jirena Sadai to fall back on. But you must understand that it’s not as simple or easy as you seem to believe. If Zeikas won’t agree to renew our alliance, or if Arbois is only interested in your hand, you may have to marry him whether you like it or not. I didn’t always see eye to eye with your father either, but he was absolutely right about Soeria being far more important than any one person.”

“I know.” I may hate the thought of it, but that doesn’t mean she’s not right. “But that’s not going to happen. My plan will work.”

She doesn’t need to respond; I know exactly what she’s thinking. Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself ? I push that thought away with all my might.

“So,” I continue, with forced confidence, “what’s the best way to get a message to Uncle Zeikas? Should I invite the Zeteyoni ambassador to lunch or something and have him report back to Osella?”

She scoffs. “Don’t waste your time. Talren’s a bumbling fool who would rather lounge around and gamble all day than do anything approaching work. Sometimes, I think Zeikas chose him to be the ambassador just to get him out of Osella, and because he knew that he could just communicate to your father through me if he needed to. You’d be better off writing Zeikas a message yourself.”

“I can do that. Will you help me with the language?”

“Of course I will. When do you want to write it?”

I give her a light grin. “There’s no time like the present, is there?”

As proposed, I draft the message to Zeikas right then and there, with Mother’s help. It takes longer than I thought it would; as Mother reminds me, I need to walk a fine line between arrogance and submission. What we finally come up with is this:

King Zeikas, I hope this message finds you well. As you know, my late father constantly strove to maintain the strong relationship between Soeria and Zeteyon, and now that I am king, I fully intend to do the same. The alliance between our two nations has been beneficial to both sides, and I greatly appreciate the stability and prosperity that has resulted from your friendship. In addition, I am currently courting Tag Leara, son of Viscountess Catherine Leara, who I am told has ties to your own family. Therefore, I see no reason to break our existing alliance, even though my parents’ marriage treaty is technically no longer in force. In the spirit of continued friendship, I propose that we either reaffirm our existing alliance, or create a new agreement that includes a similar provision. If you prefer the latter and wish to negotiate additional terms, I would be happy to send a representative to Osella or receive your representative here in Cedelia. Your nephew, King Darien Garros

“It’s quite direct,” Mother says, her eyes scanning the text. “But with him, that’s probably a good thing. He doesn’t really care for sentimentality. He’ll appreciate your being straight and to the point.”

“You approve, then?”

She nods. “I can’t guarantee he’ll respond in the way we want him to, but it’s our best shot.”

Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but I suppose it’s good enough. I carefully fold up the letter and seal it with wax before giving it to Mother’s steward Lana, with express instructions to send it immediately. Lana goes to carry out my orders, and after thanking Mother and bidding her goodnight, I leave too.

Tag is waiting for me in my bedroom when I get back, and I tell him about the message as we get ready for bed. I try to stay optimistic as I did with Mother, and Tag seems to be confident that our plan will work as well.

But after all the candles are dimmed and the two of us are cuddled up in bed, I can’t stop my mind from wandering to Zeikas and Zeteyon, to Arbois and alliances. I can’t help but worry that something will go wrong, and even though I’m tired down to my bones, sleep doesn’t come easily.

The next morning, I send a message to Arbois asking him to meet me in the palace garden at noon. I’m not exactly looking forward to meeting with him. As long as we haven’t discussed the subject, I can believe he’ll agree. But the longer I make him wait, the less likely he is to go along with my plan, so I know it’s better to do it now. If I’m lucky, I can get some idea of what exactly he wants. I just wish I didn’t have to go to him like a supplicant so I can be with Tag.

For better or worse, Arbois is waiting for me as I reach the garden. “Your Majesty,” he says with a slight bow as I walk up to him. “You have my condolences for your father and brother. Such a shame.”

“Thank you, Arbois. I appreciate it.” Just thinking about Father and Samis makes me tear up. “But let’s not dwell on such terrible things on a wonderful day like this. Will you walk with me?”

He nods, and we begin to walk around the garden. Summer is upon us, and the flowers have bloomed in full force. There are quite a few people outside enjoying the clear weather, and they all bow to me as I pass by. It’s annoying, but I suppose I’ll get used to it eventually, like a prisoner gets used to waking up in a cell every morning.

“Forgive me for being blunt,” I say to him as we walk. “But I have to ask: are you still interested in continuing the marriage negotiations?”

He takes a few moments before responding. My heart wants him to say he’s ready to give up and go home so I can be with Tag. At the same time, my head knows that would be bad for the country, even if it might be good for me personally. I wish I could go back to a time when I didn’t have to consider the latter.

“I understand that the situation has changed since our last meeting,” he finally says. “Still, it seems to me that there’s no reason why we can’t resume our courtship now that things have settled down.” He turns slightly and looks at me, his expression unreadable. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Perhaps. But as you just said, the situation has changed. I’m not sure that it’s proper for me to be courting so soon after such a tragedy. I worry that it might be … disrespectful, as it were.”

“I can understand that. If we were in Jirena Sadai, I would assure you that none at court would disapprove of us courting, even in a time of mourning such as this. But I can respect the fact that Soerian customs are different.” He shakes his head. “Having said that, you must understand that I cannot afford to wait forever, Darien. I sympathize with you, but I must think about what is best for my country. As terrible as it is, matters of state must be dealt with, even when tragedy occurs.”

I silently thank him for giving me an opening. “I completely agree. In fact, there’s no reason why you and I still can’t come to an agreement of sorts.”

He looks at me while I hold my breath, and for just a moment there’s a calculating look in his eyes, similar to the one I saw when we first met. Then, just when I feel like I’m about to burst, he nods and says, “That is an … intriguing proposition,” and the pressure lessens a bit. “What sort of agreement did you have in mind?”

“I was simply thinking that there are ways to form a connection between our two nations without involving marriage. That way, you can do what’s best for Jirena Sadai without having to wait until after the mourning period has ended. I’m sure we can find some arrangement that will benefit both of our countries.”

His expression is completely inscrutable, and it’s starting to drive me insane. “I see,” he replies slowly. “Just for the sake of clarity, you are suggesting we negotiate a treaty between our two nations that doesn’t include a marriage between the two of us?”

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.” Hopefully he doesn’t hear any anxiety in my voice. “As I’m sure you can understand, I’m quite busy at the moment, so I would likely delegate my side of the negotiating to one of my father’s advisors, Lord Kerion. But you have the gist of it.”

Once again, he doesn’t respond immediately; he stops to smell a flower, while my heart beats against my ribs like a woodpecker against a tree. He’ll agree to it . He has to .

Eventually, after he’s presumably gotten his fill of the scent of that particular orchid, he resumes walking. “I suppose I can consider your suggestion.” He turns his head and looks me in the eye, his gaze hard as diamond. “However, while I am willing to negotiate in good faith, I cannot guarantee that I will sign a treaty that doesn’t include a provision for a wedding between us. If it becomes impossible to find a compromise that doesn’t include marriage, then I will insist we resume discussion of the topic.”

“I understand.” More importantly, I know it’s the best I’m going to get and maybe this will give me time to figure out what he actually wants. “Thank you, Arbois. I appreciate your flexibility. I know this probably isn’t what you expected, and I’m grateful you didn’t head back to Jirena Sadai at the first sign of trouble.”

“Of course, Darien. You and I may be royals, but even we are powerless before the vicissitudes of fortune, and I accept that.” He gives me what looks like a genuine smile. “Besides, why would I leave when things are just starting to get interesting?”