Chapter 17
Tila woke at midnight, hearing Laith’s cry. With a moan, she slipped out of Joran’s arms, not wanting to disturb him. He’d been up with their sons every night, right along with her. She’d nurse whichever boy had woken first, while he gave the other a bottle. He had become an expert at changing diapers too. He was fast and efficient, never allowing either little devil to spray him after that first time.
She grabbed his dress shirt from the floor and tried to button it up, but the buttons were gone. Tila smiled as she pulled the sides closed and searched for her panties. But when they weren’t to be found, she rushed over to the closet and grabbed a clean pair, slipping them on quickly. She didn’t need to worry about Laith’s continued cries because the night nanny would have changed his diaper already, soothing the little demon until Tila came to feed him.
So, it was with a smile when Tila walked into the nursery, the lights already dim. “Thank you, Elia,” she said to the night nanny. She smiled, but before she could respond, Rafi woke up, his demanding cries drawing a chuckle from Elia. “So needy!” she teased softly as she moved over to lift the little guy into her arms. She soothed and coddled the boy while efficiently changing his diaper, whispering softly to him while Tila settled into one of the rocking chairs. She lifted the overstuffed pillow, laying it on her lap so Laith could nurse more easily.
Laith was nursing hungrily when Joran entered the nursery. He looked amazing in a soft pair of jeans and…nothing else. Tila’s breath caught in her throat as she watched him walk over to the changing table.
Elia blushed, and quickly stepped back, leaving the nursery as Joran took a wiggling, excited Rafi into his arms. Elia always popped a bottle of formula into the warming machine before she changed diapers, so it was at the perfect temperature for Joran as he walked over to the second rocking chair and sat down, stuffing the other pillow onto his lap as he settled Rafi into a comfortable feeding position.
The whole time Tila watched, alternating between embarrassment and fascination. Last night had been…mind-blowing. But had they made a mistake? Maybe they should have resolved their personal relationship before they’d reentered a sexual one.
“Stop,” he said softly, running a thumb over Rafi’s head to soothe the little man.
“Stop what?” she asked, her stomach tightening with dread at his words.
“Stop overthinking.” He smiled at her, his dark eyes bright even in the dim light. “It was perfect. As always, Tila.”
She sighed, nodding because her body was still humming with happiness. What they’d done together had been incredible. She didn’t have words for how her body felt right now, other than happy. And confused.
Okay, so she had two words.
“We should…figure out what’s going to happen with us,” she countered, pulling her eyes away so that she could look down at Laith. He was still feeding hungrily, his dark eyes staring up at her while one fist clenched against her breast.
“We should enjoy whatever comes our way, Tila,” he countered. “And if we want to enjoy each other, then what’s the harm?”
She listened to him and tried to be as casual. But she’d never enjoyed another man the way she did Joran. It was as if the man had some sort of magical connection to her heart. The fact that he was reducing their moments together to just a…mutual itch, well, that hurt.
Looking down at their son to hide her expression, she tried to come to terms with the fact that Joran wasn’t as emotionally connected to her as she was to him.
“Right. It was just…sex.” She forced herself to smile, then shifted Laith to her other breast.