Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
Willow
Present Day
I would’ve liked to say that Theo and I took the friendship make-out sessions slowly, but that was the opposite of what we did. We dove in and became masters at making out. We’d find random reasons to kiss, too.
Oh, you unloaded the dishwasher? Way to go, friend—kiss!
Oh, you switched the toilet paper roll? Woohoo—kiss-kiss!
Oh, you showered today? Yay!—kiss-kiss in the shower!
Yeah, we were in the shower together. Naked. But not because we were into each other. We were friends. Simply friends who showered together because we cared about saving water and the planet. Friendship showers were definitely a thing. There was no sex involved, though! Just heavy petting, if you asked me. We clearly both wanted to make sure we were as clean as possible. Just two friends looking out for one another.
The verdict was still out when it came to friendship cuddling. If anything, Theo and I were playing a dangerous game as he sat on the couch, and I sat between his spread legs on the floor, where he massaged my shoulders for me. He dug his fingers deep into my exposed shoulders, seeing how I was wearing a white tube top. My eyes were pinned to the television, watching Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth fall in love for the umpteenth time. I’d seen the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice a million times over, and I still had full-on body chills when Mr. Darcy clenched his hand. And the way he said words throughout the movie made my body fill with chills:
I love you.
Most ardently.
You bewitched me, body and soul.
“This is so corny,” Theo mentioned as he kept working out the knots in my upper back.
“No,” I disagreed, “it’s comforting. You know, when I’m sick, I always, always, always watch this movie on repeat until I’m better. It’s my comfort movie.”
“A corny comfort movie.”
I laughed and turned my body to face him. “Okay, Mr. Grump. What movies do you find comfort in?”
“That’s easy. Only the best holiday movie ever— Die Hard .”
“Uh, Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.”
Theo stared at me as if I’d grown three heads, but he went back to massaging my shoulders, this time with me facing him. “ Die Hard is definitely a Christmas movie. Most ardently ,” he mocked.
“Okay. Name three reasons it’s a Christmas movie.”
“Fine, one—it takes place in December. Two, it talks about gifts at some point. Three—it’s a Christmas movie!” he exclaimed, making me break out into laughter.
“Those are awful reasons.”
“You didn’t say my reasons had to be soaked in logic.” His fingers kept massaging my upper chest, and I let out a slight moan when he hit a good spot. He arched an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”
I closed my eyes and smiled. “Ooh yeah. Keep going.” He kept massaging, and I melted into the warmth of his fingers. This was so friendship of us. “What’s another movie you love?” I asked.
“ The Truman Show .”
“Okay, we’re getting somewhere,” I murmured, somehow losing a bit of focus as his fingers seemed to move lower and lower down my chest. “What else?”
“ Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind .”
I placed my hand over my chest. “That’s one of my favorite movies of all time. It makes me sob.”
“Shocking, something makes you sob? I would’ve never imagined,” he teased, still massaging my shoulders. His fingers moved a little lower, and I swore his thumb brushed against my nipple through the thin fabric of my tube top. His finger brushed against it once more, only this time, his hands stayed on top of my breasts as he massaged. “Can I tell you a secret?” he whispered with a hoarse voice.
“What’s that?” I quietly said back.
“I cry during that movie, too.”
I arched an eyebrow, almost too comfortable for my friend to be massaging my breasts. “Mr. Grump has cried before?”
“Very rarely.”
“I’m impressed.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll never see it.”
“Dang. I love seeing men cry.”
He laughed. “Some kind of kink of yours, huh?” His fingers lightly pinched my nipples, making my lips part, and a slight, surprised moan escaped.
“You could say that,” I murmured, placing my hands behind me on the floor and arching my back. His hands kept roaming. I kept moaning.
“What other kinks, friend?” Theo asked as my whole body began to heat. Trembles and pulses took place between my thighs as I stared into the bluest of blue eyes.
I tilted my head as I saw the desire that was pounding between my legs also living within his eyes. I sat up a bit, on my knees, between his legs. My hands rested against his kneecaps for a moment before I began to massage his inner thighs. I bit my bottom lip and shrugged. “I’m not against being pinned down,” I told him.
His hands moved from my chest and down my forearms to my wrists. He then effortlessly laid me down against the living room rug and pinned my wrists to the floor as he hovered over me. “Like this?”
I nodded. “Like this.”
“What else, friend?” His body weight melted against my skin. His mouth danced across my earlobe. “What else do you like?”
My words stuttered slightly from the warmth of his tongue grazing my skin. “Neck kisses.”
“Neck kisses?”
“Yes. Neck kisses.”
“Like this?” he questioned before trailing his mouth from the base of my jaw all the way down to my collarbones. My entire body warmed up from the kisses, which shot a direct path of ecstasy straight to my pussy.
“Yes,” I breathed out airily. Without thought, my hips involuntarily arched up, pressing against the hardness sitting within Theo’s gray sweatpants. “Like this.”
A deep grunt unleashed from him as his hips slowly rocked against mine. I wanted him—all of him—in me, on me, tasting me. I wanted to feel what it felt like for Theo to slide in and out of me over and over again as he claimed control of my body. I wanted to taste his desires against my tongue. I wanted to fall in love with him in the interlude of his exploration of my body. I wanted to make-believe with him that our act of wildness was actually an act of love. Of passion. Of purpose. I not only wanted to have sex with him, I wanted him to teach me. Throw me around. Own me. That was what his body pressed against my body did to my mind. That was how his touches infested my thoughts. I wanted Theo Langford to bury himself so far within me that I’d begun to think he was the source of life, and I’d hang on to him as if he were my life support.
I wanted each thrust.
Each moan.
Each growl.
I wanted his dilated eyes to stay on me. I wanted his filthy mouth to call me names. I wanted him.
All of him.
The good, the bad, and the broken parts, too.
Maybe I wanted those parts the most. The parts of him that kept him up at night.
“How about this?” he asked as he pinned one hand over my head and placed the other at the nape of my neck. His lips moved to the edge of my mouth, and my eyes fluttered closed as he growled, “You like being choked, my Weeping Willow?”
My Weeping Willow .
Did he just call me his?
Did I just…love being called his?
My mouth parted, and I nodded. “ Ye-yesss ,” I stuttered, almost losing touch with reality as his hands pinned me down. He had full control over me to do whatever he wanted to do. And I’d hoped he’d do everything. Every single thought that was flying through his mind, I’d hoped he’d act on them.
Theo bit my bottom lip, then sucked on it gently. “Willow.”
“Yes?”
One of his hands began to unbuckle the top button on my jean shorts. “Do friends touch each other everywhere?” he asked, sliding down the zipper of my jeans.
“Uh, ye-yes, I th-think they do.”
His hand brushed against the top of my pink thong as his fingers rolled between the fabric. Then he lifted it slightly and slid his hand beneath it. His thumb began circling my clit. Everything sped up from that point. Or maybe time slowed down. All I knew was I was no longer living in a realm where anything mattered other than Theo’s touches.
His hand began to rub my pussy, his fingers almost teasing as if they were going to slide inside me. My body arched toward him like I was trying to force said fingers to slide deep inside me. He still had one arm pinned over my head as he kissed me around my belly button. Gosh, I wanted him to feel how he was controlling me. I wanted my wetness to drip across his fingers.
I hadn’t told him, but I’d had dreams about his touches lately. I’d daydreamed about them, too. I wondered what it would feel like if he slid his fingers deep inside me and—
“Fuck,” I breathed out as he did exactly that. Two fingers rolled inside me as he smirked with an untamed bliss.
“Are you that wet for me, friend?” he growled against my ear, licking my lobe before sucking it between his lips. “Do I make you drip like that?”
My mouth parted to reply, but nothing but gibberish came out as I ground my pussy hard around his fingers, almost losing it as he started working a third one inside me. His pacing controlled my inhales and exhales.
“I like that,” he told me, his voice rich with desire. “I like how wet you get for me.”
With my one free hand, I moved to the imprint of his cock, where it rested in his sweats. I then slid my hand into his sweats, under his boxers, and gripped his massive cock in my hands. My thumb circled the head of his cock as he released a grunted moan. I smiled. It was nice to know that the control went both ways. He controlled me, and I controlled him.
“You like that, friend?” I said, sitting up on my elbows as I stroked him up and down.
His eyes fluttered closed, and he nodded. “Yes,” he muttered.
I trailed my tongue against his neck and kept stroking him as he fingered my dripping pussy. “You like how you make me feel?”
“Fucking hell, I love it, Willow… I love this so fucking much.”
He slid my jeans and thong off completely before pulling down my tube top, exposing my breasts. His tongue swept across my right nipple before he began sucking it while he picked up the speed of his fingers gliding in and out of me. He worked my pussy as if it were his full-time job and he was in search of overtime as he cherished my nipples with his mouth.
I hurriedly slid off his pants and boxers because I wasn’t certain I could go another minute without him in me, without him filling me up, thrusting deep inside of my core. I wanted to see it in his eyes, too. I wanted to witness him losing himself and finding him while he lived inside me. I wanted to bring him to the edge of his orgasm, then make him beg for more. I wanted to climb on top of him and rest my hands against his chest as I rolled my hips back and forth against his cock.
I wanted him to flip me over and slide into me from behind. From the side. With his arm tightly pinned around my neck.
I wanted him to own me.
And he did.
The moment Theo slid his cock inside my wet pussy, I pulsed around his hardness. He inched in slowly at first, making sure I was comfortable the whole time.
“You’re so tight, Willow. Fuck me, you’re so fucking tight,” he growled against me, wrapping his arms around my back as he pounded into me. My mind couldn’t even begin to consider responding to him because it felt too good to try to discover words. My arms wrapped around him, and my fingernails dug into his skin beneath his T-shirt. I was certain when we’d finished, he’d have marks all across his back, reminding him that I was there.
I liked that idea.
I liked the idea that I marked him.
I liked even more how he worked my body and my soul.
Theo lifted me without hesitation and laid me over the edge of the couch. His hand wrapped around my neck, stabilizing me as he drilled his cock into my pussy. He picked up his speed and depth, making me cry out with the utmost pleasure. He didn’t stop going to work until I reached my climax.
Again.
And again.
And again.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I cried out, pounding my hand against his back as I orgasmed hard against him, losing myself as I found true bliss. I didn’t know friendship could feel so good until Theo showed me over and over and over again.
He flipped me onto my stomach, and I arched my back for him as he slid into me from behind. His hands landed against my shoulders as he pounded me more and more. His grunts and growls showed me that I wasn’t the only one having the time of my life as I backed my ass up against him. I kept grinding up on him as he fucked me as if it were our last day on the planet and he wanted to make sure we both went out on a high.
I moaned out his name as I hit another orgasm. He wrapped my hair in his hands and pulled me toward him. His mouth grazed against my ear as he said, “I know, baby. I know,” in response to my moans.
I loved how he felt inside me. I loved how he filled me up. I loved the thrusts, the grunts, and the control he had over my body, mind, and spirit.
“Willow…shit… I’m going to…” he groaned, wrapping an arm around my neck, pressing his body against mine. He couldn’t finish his sentence as he thrust hard into me, seconds away from finding his own orgasm. As he grew closer and closer to completion, I begged for all of him. Each inch, every thrust, every drop.
He gave it all to me, too, as he reached his orgasm.
Theo lay on top of me for a moment, breathless, as he gathered himself.
“ Holy …” he murmured.
“ Shit ,” I finished.
I turned around to face him as he slid out of me.
When my eyes met his, the bashful grin on his face made me feel things that felt a little more than friendship. He kissed me lightly and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against mine. He was out of breath but in pure bliss as he said, “This is the best friendship of my life.” I giggled as I brushed a few pieces of hair out of my face. They kept falling back into my eyesight until Theo brushed them behind my ear. The gentle touch felt extra sensational. Then he said six words that would make me smile for the remainder of the week. “ Die Hard is a Christmas movie.”
Then we showered together—again, and again, and again .
Theo and I had officially crossed into the friends-with-benefits realm. And those benefits? Remarkable. Ten out of ten. No notes.
I didn’t know why, but after we broke the barrier into having sex with one another, that wall stayed shattered, and we kept finding ourselves with roaming hands and thrusting hips. During all times of the day and night. I couldn’t keep my hands off him, and something was so comforting in knowing he couldn’t keep himself away from me, either. It was as if some magnetic pull drew us toward one another.
It even happened when we’d go to Molly and Harry’s for dinner. When it was time for dessert, I offered to bring it to the dining room. Theo offered to get another bottle of wine, too. When I walked into the pantry, I turned around to find Theo standing behind me. He had a devilish smirk on his face.
“Oh, hi there.” I smiled.
“Oh, hi there,” he replied. He stepped in closer, and his fingers grazed the fabric of my thin dusty-blue dress. “I like this color on you.”
“You like all colors on me,” I joked.
He nodded. “I do.” He paused for a second. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“I love secrets.”
“It’s hard to be near you.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, Willow, that’s so.”
Theo stepped in closer. I stepped back. He inched in even more. My back hit the wall.
“What are you doing?” I fluttered out, my words stumbling off my tongue as my heart beat faster and faster with every inch he grew toward me.
“Boxing you in,” he said, his voice deep and his eyes locked with mine.
“Why? I thought you said it was hard to be near me,” I spat out, instantly turned on. Everything about Theo turned me on in a way I’d never even known possible. From his muscular physique to his grumpy demeanor. From his permanent frown to his deep, robust growls. Theo Langford was painfully attractive, and I struggled not to want to rip his clothes off on the regular—which was exactly why I’d been ripping his clothes off on the regular.
“It is hard to be around you,” he agreed, his mouth inching closer and closer as my back rested against the back of the chilled pantry wall.
“And why is that again?”
His mouth brushed the edge of my earlobe before he parted his lips and sucked gently on my ear. “Because I get so fucking hard being around you.”
My whole body sizzled from his words and the thickness of him brushing against my inner thigh. My mind and my heart were at war with one another, uncertain how to ever feel around that man. How was it possible to long for someone all the time? How did I miss him so much when he stood right in front of me? Theo Langford was going to be the death of me.
Or maybe, the life of me. Maybe that was what scared me the most.
I swore I understood emotions. I’d studied with some of the greatest shamans across the world. I’d done the inner work. I’d tapped into my higher self and had conversations with my inner child. I was secure in my emotional state my whole life, except for when it came to him.
Whenever Theo was around me, it was as if my whole system went into a reboot mode, and it took forever for said system to recalibrate.
“Don’t forget a knife to cut the cake,” Molly called out from the dining room. Her voice broke up the intense energy between Theo and me, which was probably for the best. I didn’t need to screw my friend’s grandson in her pantry that evening.
Though… I did consider it.
The next few weeks were filled with sex, laughter, and more sex. I should’ve left Westin Lake after the anniversary party and gone on to my next adventure, but for some reason, for the first time in my life, I wanted to keep my feet on solid ground. I didn’t feel like running off to my next stop.
I liked where I’d been a little too much.
Theo and I giggled in the bed after another round of kissing. My favorite part after our hookups was how he held me in his arms. I never felt used after our interactions with one another. If anything, I felt…cherished based on how we talked after sex. Sure, I liked sleeping together. Heck, I loved it. But something was so comforting about the after-sex conversations where we were slightly vulnerable lying there in bed, wrapped around the sheets and each other, talking about any and everything.
“Do you want kids someday?” I randomly asked him.
He pulled me closer to his side and kissed my shoulder. It was so gentle and intimate that I almost forgot we weren’t more than friends.
“I wouldn’t hate the idea,” he said. “What about you?”
“I go back and forth. I didn’t have a mom growing up, so I wonder what it would be like to be one.”
“My mom walked out on me when I was around twelve,” he confessed.
“Wow. I’m sorry. That had to be hard.”
“It was until it wasn’t. Sometimes the best thing a toxic person could do for you was leave you alone.”
“Do you still miss her sometimes?”
“No,” he said shortly, “I just miss the idea of her.”
“I miss the same thing—the idea of my mom. I sometimes wonder…” I started, staring up at the ceiling fan spinning round. “What kind of mother my mom would’ve been to me if she ever had the chance to raise me.”
“Like you,” he said with another kiss on my shoulder. “She would’ve been just like you.”
I lifted my head. “What do you mean by that?”
“She would’ve loved loudly, soothed softly, and been so perfect that even the bad seeds would start to believe in good apples.”
“Theo—”
“Great.” He cut in. “She would’ve been great to you, Willow. And you would be great to a child of your own, too.”
“ Careful ,” I whispered. “Or else you might start making my heart beat in a way it shouldn’t for you.” A small smile stayed on his face. I bit my bottom lip. “Theo?”
“Yes, Willow?”
“Are we playing with fire?”
Before he could reply, Theo’s phone rang, interrupting us. He glanced over at it, and when he saw the name on the screen, he sat up. He moved to the edge of the bed and answered the call.
“Hey. It’s late. Everything okay?” he asked the person on the other line. The serious stare on his face made me sit up in bed, too. I placed a hand on his shoulder. His body was stiff as a rock. “Okay. Yeah. I hear you. It’s okay. Breathe. Everything’s all right. I’m on my way.”
He hung up the phone, and I felt his entire body sigh against my touch.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Um.” He sighed again and went quiet. He sniffled and spoke once more. “PaPa had a seizure. Grandma a-a-and him are at the hospital. I have to text people to let them know. I need t-t-to dr-dr-drive to the hospital,” he said, standing from the side of the bed. He began pacing as if looking for things, but his mind was swirling too fast for him to settle. I stood and grabbed clothes for him. Followed by socks and his sneakers.
“Here,” I said, placing them in his hands.
“Th-thanks,” he murmured, changing into the clothes. I changed into an outfit, too. He then darted around the house, looking for his keys. I found them on the kitchen island.
“Here,” I said, giving him the keys.
“Th-thanks,” he murmured again, striking his hand through his messy hair.
I put my shoes on as he put his shoes on.
He looked disoriented.
“Here,” I said, holding my hand out toward him. “I’ll take the keys. I’ll drive.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. I can—”
“Theo,” I said, this time a bit firmer. “Don’t worry. I got you. I’ll drive.”
He took in a deep inhalation and released it before he placed the keys into my hand. “Thank you, Willow.”
“Always. Let’s go.”