The Problem with Falling (Problems #3)

Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

Theo

I woke up the following morning with Willow in my arms. For a while, I just lay there, debating whether I even wanted to get out of bed. Whenever she was in my arms, everything seemed a little bit easier. When my feet hit the floor, though, reality set in, and I was reminded of how shitty the world around Willow and me had been. I liked our haven. I liked how things were easier when she was around.

When someone pounded on my front door, I knew I had to pull myself up from Willow’s warmth. After I stood from bed, she snuggled up against a pillow and fell into a deeper slumber. That was good, seeing how we were out on the water pretty late.

The pounding on the door didn’t stop, and the more the person slammed their fists against it, the more irritated I grew.

“What?” I hissed, annoyed as I opened the door. My anger quickly disappeared the moment I saw Jensen standing there. “Jensen. Hey, what are you do—”

“Am I your son?” he spat out, his words straightforward. They threw me for a loop more than I thought they would.

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. “What are you talking about?”

“Last night, Dad said you slept with my mom. Did you?”

I grimaced. “Listen, what happened between your mom and—”

“Don’t give me the runaround about it, Theo. I just want to know. Is there any chance you’re my dad? Did you sleep with her around the time I was born or what?”

I couldn’t tell from his tone if he was pissed off at me or hoping that I was his father. “Your mother and I only slept together once, Jensen.”

“Now, I’m not a rocket scientist or anything, but it turns out people can get pregnant from one night of sex. And if you slept with her…”

I frowned because I saw it in his eyes now—the hope.

I shook my head. “Buddy, I don’t think I’m your dad.”

“But is there a chance? Just a slight chance…?”

“Jensen, I—”

“Please, Theo,” he begged, his eyes flooding with emotions. “Can you just take a test with me or something? I just…” He shook his head, and the tears began to fall down his cheeks. “Because if you’re my dad, everything would make a little more sense to me. If you’re my dad, I would understand why I’d only felt comfortable when I was around you. If you were my dad… I’d be happy.”

I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t know how to express that I was ninety-nine percent certain I wasn’t his father.

“I hate him,” Jensen continued. “I hate that he’s a drunk, and he’s cocky, and he doesn’t give a damn about anything I’m into. I hate that he wants me to be different from who I am. I hate that he doesn’t do anything that makes me feel like he’s my father. I hate him, Theo. But that would all be okay if it turned out that I was never supposed to love him anyway.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Jensen, listen…”

“I’d be a good son to you, Theo,” he cried. His voice cracked as his whole body trembled in front of me. In a flash, I saw his mother in his eyes. I saw how she used to stand on my porch crying over her hatred for Peter, too. I saw her hurt. Her pain. Her struggles.

Thalia was flawed. There was no getting around that.

But Jensen?

Fuck, he was just a kid.

A kid who was hurting.

I knew what that was like.

Jensen and I had more in common than I’d ever want to admit.

I pulled him into a hug, and he continued to fall apart in my arms. “We can take a test,” I told him even though I was ninety-nine percent certain I knew what the results would be. Still, if it made him breathe a little easier at that moment in time, then I’d take the damn test.

“Thank you,” he cried, squeezing me tighter. “Thank you.”

After spending the morning with Jensen, I headed to Grandma’s to check in on her. After walking through the whole house, I spotted her through the kitchen window, sitting out on the edge of the dock.

“In need of company?” I called out as I walked over to her.

She glanced over her shoulder and then back at me. “Always if the company is you.”

I smiled and sat down on the dock beside her. I placed my hands on my lap and released a heavy sigh. “Yesterday was—”

“A circus.” Grandma laughed, shaking her head. “Luckily enough, Harry loved clowns.”

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t the send-off PaPa deserved.”

“It was the send-off he would’ve wanted, though. It was real. Life is complicated and hard and real. I don’t want you to think for a second PaPa would’ve thought everything would’ve been perfect. He knew how complex life could be. He would’ve understood.”

I grimaced. “I’m still processing most of yesterday.”

“We all are. And we might be doing that for a while, which is okay. We’re all still grieving, too. We’ll come out on the other side.” She leaned against my arm. “Peter stopped by this morning to apologize.”

“He made a bit of a scene last night.”

“Yeah, well, who hasn’t made a scene once in their lives? You know, when my mother died, my sister threw a whole peach pie at me because she thought I was trying to show off by making Mama’s favorite pie. Hit me square in the face.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Betty pied you?”

“Pied the heck out of me. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I picked up the coconut crème pie and smeared it on her face. We ended up in a wrestling match in front of everyone.”

“Bullshit,” I murmured, stunned.

“I know. Watch your language, but I know. I remember being ashamed for being a part of that big scene. Afterward, I was crying in the bathroom, wiping pie out of my nose, and Harry appeared. He began cleaning the pie out of my hair, and I sobbed, telling him how embarrassed and ashamed I’d been. Mind you, my mother passed away when I was young, and Harry and I had only been on a handful of dates at that point. I was almost certain he’d think I was a madwoman and end things with me. But do you know what he said?”

“What’s that?”

She turned to me, and her eyes were packed with tears. “What’s life without a little mess?”

That was PaPa for you—the greatest man to ever live.

“Then he took me home and made me a peach pie. We ate it all at two in the morning.” She placed a hand against my knee and patted it. “So I know you and Peter both feel heavy guilt about last night. But grief has a way of stirring up a lot of emotions that have not been dealt with. You two have been butting heads for years now. It’s no surprise it all came out finally.”

“I should’ve never crossed that line with Thalia,” I said.

“Yes, well…messes happen. Now all we can do is clean them up.” She patted my leg. “Like the mess I’ve made with your mother.”

My stomach knotted up at the mention of her. “It’s going to take me a minute to wrap my mind around all of that.”

“I know. And I’m sorry she showed up. I’m even more sorry that we didn’t tell you. We thought we were doing the right thing by keeping it from you, but clearly, that was wrong.”

“I wish you had told me.”

“I do, too. I wish even more so that I had enough strength to say I didn’t want Christina around after she left, but…she’s my baby. Even with all the heartbreak, she’ll always be my little girl. That’s the curse of parenthood, I think. Caring all the time, no matter what.”

“That trait must’ve skipped over my mother.”

“I doubt it. She probably just keeps all that trauma to herself.” She shifted her body on the dock. “She left town this morning. Said she wouldn’t be back around. I told her that was probably for the best for a while.”

“You don’t have to stop seeing her because of me.”

Grandma placed a hand on my forearm. “I love you, Theo.”

I almost smiled. “Love you, too.”

She turned and looked out at the water. “We’re gonna be all right, aren’t we? It might take some time, but we’ll get there.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “We’ll be all right.” Maybe not today, but we’ll be all right.

She rested her head on my shoulder. “So…are we going to talk about Willow?”

“What about Willow?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she teased. “Maybe about the fact that you’re in love with her.”

I arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“It’s okay.” Grandma patted my leg. “It took your grandfather a second to realize he was in love with me, too. Men are a little slower, after all.”

I huffed but didn’t reply.

Me?

In love with Willow?

Impossible.

Hell, we’d only spent a summer together. We’d just become friends not even that long ago. I couldn’t be… Love needed more time before…

Oh fuck…

Me?

In love with Willow?

“You should tell her,” Grandma said.

I shook my head. “We haven’t even known each other for a long time. That’s ridiculous. I can’t love her. I can’t…” My words faded off because I could love her. It seemed like one of the easiest things I could’ve done.

Grandma simply smiled and patted my hand in hers. “We get one shot at this thing called life, Theodore. One shot at living it to the fullest. We might as well fall ridiculously in love every chance we get. I promise you, when your last day comes on this earth, you’ll never think, ‘Wow, I should’ve loved a little less.’ So go ahead and love a little more .”