The Queen’s Denial

Chapter 24 Chi

Chapter 24

Chi

My second meeting with Jiro comes and goes. The sweetness, romance, and the flowers he brings — all of it further instills in me that he won’t be my choice. Even if this isn’t all for show — even if he isn’t only after my title and wealth — my life doesn’t have room for romance and love from a legal spouse. He is too smart; he would still have the upperhand because he is a man and I’m a woman.

After my second awkward date with Asuka, my choice is made and I let Papa know that he will be my husband in just one month’s time. Any relationship I enter into must be one in which I can manipulate for my own good and the good of carrying out my father’s will for the organization. Anything less would mean a loss of power and a title in name only. I won’t allow myself to fall for someone who might have a thousand tricks up their sleeve.

Not that I could fall for him anyway. I doubt I could fall for anyone. Andy dominates my thoughts while I’m in these meetings, and I go directly to see him afterwards. We take turns getting dinner and having picnics on the bed since we can’t go out on a real date. He’s smart and funny, and indulges me in all the shows and movies I force him to watch as we lie together each night.

My father has never really taken an interest in who I bring to my bed, so he either doesn’t know how much time Andy and I are spending together, or he doesn’t care. I’m always wondering if he’ll say something, but he keeps his distance.

One night,as I sit chained by the neck to the tunnels under the mansion, Andy’s phone rings. He has just finished forcing me to sit on his face while eating me from the inside out before fucking me into the smooth stone, and I’m nothing more than a rubbery puddle on the floor.

“Shit. We have to go.”

I look him, still slightly dazed and confused and a little sex-drunk, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. “To… my bedroom? Is it my dad?”

“What? No.” He throws my underwear and army girl costume at me. “This is serious, Chi. There’s a threat on the grounds and after what happened last time, we won’t take any chances. You and I happen to be together closest to the exit off the grounds, so we retreat and let the men take over. The number one concern at all times is the family’s safety, so you’re coming with me.”

“So, if I wasn’t with you right now, I’d go with… someone else?”

I don’t know how he’s moving so quickly after the mind-bending sex we just had, but he’s already throwing on his shirt and moving to check the peephole up to the grounds. He glances back at me for a quick moment, looking slightly confused. “Yeah. Of course. Like I said, you and your father’s safety are the number one priority. And Daiki’s.”

“Daiki isn’t here yet. Not until tomorrow,” I say, trying to move faster to button my shirt. “He doesn’t even live here. He’s only here so much lately because of my Omiai and the war. And he’s technically a guard, isn’t he? He’s mine and my father’s personal bodyguard.” I’m aware that this isn’t the best time to ask questions, but my brain won’t stay on topic. I think it’s actively trying to stay off topic. I don’t want to think about what happened the last time someone forced their way onto the grounds of the mansion.

Andy shrugs at my question, preoccupied with checking his phone. “He has his own escape route too. Your father told us to treat him as family, so we do.”

Suddenly, a thought breaks through the fog in my head, and I gasp, forgetting any other train of thought entirely. “My father! Is he okay?”

“Yes, we have it covered, Chi. He’s on his way out, but we need to get out too. Apparently, it was something on the outskirts of the grounds. A bunch of the sensors were down and some of the cameras were hacked into. Oxy seems to have it under control, but we’re not taking any chances after last time. We’ll stay away until the threat is over.”

I breathe out, a crawling sensation of fear worming its way through my body. I feel vulnerable, and Andy can tell when he finally makes eye contact with me. His gaze turns soft, his dark eyes lightening, and the kind, understanding, boyishly handsome smile he saves just for me makes its appearance. It makes me feel better, even while the anxiety of what happened to us the last time someone broke through our defenses plagues my mind. “I’m glad I’m with you.”

He smiles wider at that, a seemingly genuine happiness radiating from him just from my one small comment. He holds out his hand and helps me up. “Me too, baby. I’m glad I get to be the one to take care of you. Let’s go.”

And with that, he whisks me and my smitten self to the edge of the tunnels and off the grounds, where one of his and Cas’s trusted sentries waits.

*****

I’ve been told that we’re going to a safehouse, but nothing else, and I’m fine with that. I cuddle up close to Andy, who senses my trepidation and rubs my back comfortingly. I’m nervous about my father, and he keeps me updated on his whereabouts before I even have to ask.

Once we’re inside the small house and he tells me that my father made it to one of the other safehouses with a different high-ranking soldier from his and Cas’s organization, I finally relax and take a look around.

I spot little things all around the room that tease my interest. There’s a tiny Baby Yoda action figure holding out his little baby hand to work his Jedi powers on one of the shelves by the TV. There’s a small pile of gamer magazines and what seem to be comic books sandwiched between them. Finally, I look up to the wall and see my favorite one of them all: a poster of Princess Leia chained to Jabba the Hutt. I can’t help it; my mouth drops open in gratified and amused surprise. Andy finally notices what I’m seeing and suddenly looks ever-so-slightly ruffled.

He sticks his hand behind his neck and squeezes, seeming adorably uncomfortable. He doesn’t even try to explain himself, because I know why all this shit is here. He simply says, “You know, you had those fucking buns in your hair that one time you dressed up as her, but Princess Leia has a really long, hot braid in that scene.”

My mouth drops even wider at his audacity as I look back at the picture, then back at him. Finally, I pick my jaw up off the floor and answer. “Andy, the buns are iconic! I’m not going to put a braid in my hair when everyone knows her from the buns.”

Andy shrugs, and I think I may even see just the slightest tint of red in his cheeks. The giddiness in my stomach may as well be a swarm of butterflies at this point. The outline of the old scar across his face tugs slightly below his lip and highlights the look of uncertainty he tries to hide. He seems almost scared of my reaction to all this stuff being in his safehouse. It’s got to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

I bite my lip and look down, blushing already from the words I can’t believe I’m about to say. “You got them because of me?”

Andy sighs and sticks a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes. “No, I got them because I suddenly developed a huge interest in Star Wars memorabilia.” The intense look he pins me with when his eyes return to mine is all the answer I need.

My smile hurts my face. “I didn’t even know whether you liked my shows or not,” I mumble, unsure how I can even speak with all the giddy energy running through my system. A nervous hiccup of laughter escapes my mouth. I can’t believe I’m acting like a middle school girl with her first crush.

“I like everything about you, Chi,” he says, looking down at the floor. Somehow, despite everything we’ve done with each other — every bit of our bodies we’ve shown each other, all the hours we’ve spent watching TV, through our injuries and all — this is the most intimate I’ve ever felt with him. With anyone, actually. We’re both splitting ourselves open and showing everything inside. I always thought this would be awful and painful, but I couldn’t love anything more than this moment we’re in right now.

“Me too, Andy.” I move closer to him and hug him, shoving my face into his chest. “This isn’t just about fucking for me, Andy. I… I really like you. As a person. As… everything. You are just…” I take a deep breath in and sigh out into him. I feel closer to him than I’ve felt to anyone. I feel intoxicated and stupid, like I’m throwing everything I know out the window, and I absolutely couldn’t care less. This high is carrying me away.

“I know, Chee-chee. I know you do, because I feel the same way.” He holds me delicately and smooths my hair down my back, leaving a thousand tiny goosebumps in his wake.

He kisses me softly, but it feels so intense. When he picks me up and carries me into his room, I know it’s all going to be the same way, and I’m right. Every touch is almost an overstimulation. We fuck slowly, because I think that’s the only way we would be able to handle the onslaught of emotions that comes with the declarations we’ve made to each other tonight.

He holds me firmly but gently, like I might break. There is no pretending. There is no role play. There is only us, together, enjoying each other in a way I truly think we never have before. Enjoying each other, I believe, in a way neither of us has ever enjoyed anyone else. And it is fucking spectacular.

All that shit I read about in books happens: our chests rise and fall at the same time, we lie together without speaking, looking into each other’s eyes. I know he’s saying beautiful things in his head, because I am too. I’m certain that we fall asleep at the same time. I doubt either of us will ever name these feelings, but it’s all I’ve ever imagined it would be.