The Queen’s Denial

Chapter 34 Andy

Chapter 34

Andy

I wallow in a corner after fucking Chi, and I drink myself into such a stupor that I’m not even 100% certain how I get back to my hotel room to sleep. I hope I’m not still buzzed while I check out and drive back to my safehouse the next day. It’s normally only a thirty minute drive from the homestead Cas and Mara chose to get married on, but takes me a full hour with the slow driving and the fact that I take more than one wrong turn.

Mara and Cas leave for their honeymoon, and I allow myself a day of all out misery. Just one day, while I’m hungover as fuck and supposedly taking the day for myself anyway, as Cas instructed. I imagine if I were a chick, I’d be calling my girlfriends and watching fucking Hallmark movies, eating an entire box of chocolates and a gallon of ice cream. To be fair, I do eat a lot of ice cream. I find a half-eaten bag of Twizzlers in my pantry and throw it out with far more intensity than is really necessary, but it sure does make me feel better.

The next day, I wake up and decide to do my fucking job. I shake off this negative bullshit and remind myself who I am. I’m Andy Scutari, and I know I can get the long list of high-level shit that the boss of the organization takes care of off Cas’s plate for when he comes back.

I get to my post outside of Chi’s house hours early, and I relieve the sentry stationed there, who looks like he’s barely keeping his eyes open. We’ve had two of our lower-level guys holding the post during the past three days of Cas and Mara’s marriage festivities, but my stand-in has other responsibilities as well, and I’m sure that’s catching up to him. He’s a good soldier, so I make sure he’s okay to drive and send him on his way.

I’m determined to do reconnaissance today as I sit and listen in on Chi’s meeting with the little shit she’s being forced to marry in just weeks. I truly feel myself caring less and less about watching this train wreck. I’m not going to be a part of this, and whatever I personally think of her decision has no bearing on this situation. It’s the only choice she can make if she wants to keep the status quo, and I understand why she’s doing it. It doesn’t matter if I think it’s a terrible mistake, because it’s the only way she can get what she needs.

As soon as I set myself up on my laptop, however, I notice one of the guards speaking animatedly on his phone on one of the cams on my dashboard. There’s something about his face that rubs me the wrong way. I touch the screen, and it opens, but there’s no sound.

“Oxy, you awake?” I voice-to-text her, and she responds promptly.

Now I am, asshole. What do you want?

I dial her number, and she answers on the first ring. “Why isn’t there any volume on cam 3?”

She sighs and sounds like she’s dragging herself up, but only a second later, I hear typing. “Ohhh bad boy. He muted it.”

“Override it,” I order her.

“God, you’re bossy today.” She types at breakneck speed for a few seconds more, and then the sound to the cam comes through.

“It’s back. Thanks,” I say shortly.

“Hey, you gonna tell me—”

I press the end call button and listen in on the cam intently. I try to tell myself it’s not because this feels like the exact scenario I’ve been worrying about over the months I’ve been watching over her house.

The man is speaking in Japanese, and I almost call Oxy back to help translate, but after working here for so long and using her translating software myself so many times, my Japanese has greatly improved. I can parse out just about everything I’m hearing anyway.

“I can’t simply suggest what you ask. I don’t have that type of sway. He’s a very private person.” There’s a long pause, during which I try to figure out how to get the other end of the conversation. I know one of the gadgets I have in this SUV can do it for me, unless he’s using something to block me with.

“It’s fine,” I hear, “we’re on mute. And the sentry is sleepwalking this morning anyway.” I perk up at this. It’s obvious at this point that this particular guard is trying to get away with something he doesn’t want the boss to know about. I immediately hit “record” on the device Oxy equipped all of our sentry cars with when she installed her hardware.

Then, I remember that all I need to do is activate the device we’ve planted on the phones of everyone who works for Akio, and I’ll hear the other end of the conversation with the audio from the guard’s cam.

As I’m fumbling, trying to figure it out, the guard says, “Listen, they run a tight fucking ship. You might have to wait on this one.”

I don’t even feel I need to hear the other side of the conversation anyway, but I finally get it working, and I’m glad I have. The voice on the other end of the line says, in an ominous tone, “We already have approval, and I’m not waiting any longer.”

Then the line goes dead.

*****

I know that Akio and Chi don’t exactly want to see me, but I also know that since Cas is away, I’m effectively the head of the organization. I’m not going to call him just to get permission to approach the mansion, especially since he’d laugh at me if I asked for permission anyway. Although Akio has been dealing directly with Cas since he unceremoniously kicked me out the main house, I’ve been making the big decisions and basically still running all of the safety measures for the grounds.

This revelation feels huge. It feels like what Chi was asking me about at the safehouse weeks ago, and I want to make sure that if it is an idle threat, it goes no further. If it isn’t, I want to find out about the extent of it and squash it before it gets bigger.

I go straight to Akio’s office, and send up a little thank you to whoever makes it so that I don’t run into Chi on my way there. Although I’m relieved once I get there and she’s not with her father, I realize my thank you was perhaps slightly premature.

Akio is not happy to see me. His normally hard, stern face has even more of an edge than usual today. His gun sits next to his hand on the desk, I notice, instead of in the waistband of his crisp slacks where he usually keeps it.

“Akio, good morning,” I say with a nod, pretending I don’t even notice the pistol. I get right to the point, because honestly, I don’t want this meeting to last any longer than he does. “It seems there’s a problem on your grounds.”

“Oh?” Akio’s expression doesn’t change. “Is it that the security I’ve hired these past few months are too busy listening in on our conversations to do their jobs?”

I blink at him mildly. I’m not sure where this is coming from, since listening to their conversations is literally part of my job.

“Would you like to report something? I apologize if one of our men isn’t working to your standards.”

Akio’s poor temper simply deepens at my words. He’s never been one to use conversation to settle confrontations, but he seems to be testing his hand at it with me. “I see one of those men before me right now.”

It’s pretty clear at this point that Akio has taken my decision not to join his daughter in Japan personally. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be happy about it, but I didn’t expect him to show such obvious displeasure. Last time we spoke, we parted ways as amicably as possible, even for an employee who had basically been given the boot by their employer. He has kept Cas on as his ancillary security, so I truly didn’t expect there to be animosity between us. I figured he was just doing what he thought best for his daughter. I didn’t think he would actually be angry at my decision not to go with her. Clearly, I was wrong.

I decide to cut the professionalism and be frank, since it seems that’s really what Akio is going for. “Listen, I understand that perhaps you’re not entirely happy with me right now, but Cas is away, and I am the boss at the moment. I’m the end of the line. I want to be here to keep an eye on things, and it’s good that I have been. There’s a guard in your ranks that is clearly talking to someone on the outside. I heard him making plans that certainly don’t include you and sound likely to harm your organization.”

I understand why he considers me hostile, but I wish he didn’t, since I don’t feel that way toward him at all. He is actually one of the few people I look up to, who I’ve taken small pieces of wisdom from. That doesn’t happen very often for me.

He has run this organization for decades. When he took over, the Yakuza was in pieces, all over Japan and America, with little unity. He brought it back together, making it work as one cohesive unit again. He made it safer for his family, for his soldiers and their families, and even for anyone whose lives were touched by it without their knowledge. He made it more lucrative, running smoothly instead of in fractured inefficiency.

I hope that if I ever own an organization like his or Cas’s, that I will run it the same way. I look up to Cas for this, but I know he is still young and has more to learn. I’m sure he wouldn’t agree, but I see the differences between himself and Akio, and I think if he looked deep enough, he’d see them too.

But it doesn’t matter now, because I’ve disappointed Akio in more ways than one, and it has finally caught up to me. He’s clearly not going to take anything I say at face value. I need to push.

“I wouldn’t come here without proof.” I take out the recording I have from my van and hold it up. He studies me with that angry, penetrating gaze for a full 30 seconds, and I’m tempted to squirm, but I keep my cool.

After a rough breath out, he finally relents. “You have no reason to lie to me, I suppose. I will take the tape and listen to it myself. We will torture and kill the man. We’ll find out anything he knows.”

I’m sure he’s about to dismiss me, but I want in on this plan. I want to make sure we do everything we can to figure out who the guard was talking to and what they were interested in.

So I speak quickly, not giving him a chance to dismiss me. “Sir, I’d like a spot in the room. I’ve dealt with my fair share of moles during my time in the Special Ops. I’ve been even more ruthless interrogating and torturing subjects working with Cas. I know the way they can get under the skin of your organization, like a splinter, affecting so many different areas. The longer they fester the worse they get, and if you just cut off the tip, the infection will spread to the whole body. We need to make sure to tease out all of the information from this guy and take out anyone he may have been working with.”

Akio sits back in his chair and studies me again, and this time I know I’m not about to hear him say anything good. He seems even more unhappy at this point than he has been this entire conversation.

“You know, I used to think I had everything figured out. But life had other plans for me. It will knock you down time and time again, young man. You think with the leader of your organization gone, you’re the boss. You can insert yourself into other people’s disputes however you feel like. Yes, Casca is that way, too. You’re both young and arrogant, and I’ve done business with you because you’re smart and willful. But you don’t deserve a place in my torture room, boy. Not after your poor decisions as of late.”

I go to cut in — to defend myself, even though I know it’s of little use, and even through the slight fear that he might blow my brains out any minute. But he doesn’t even let me speak, anyway, before he continues.

“I think it’s time we stop playing around here. I think it’s time you leave for good. This isn’t a game in which you collect bits and pieces as you go, lose some along the way, but get a prize in the end. This is all or nothing, and you’ve made your decision. You’ve chosen nothing. Send another soldier to sit sentry outside my house. I will take care of this mole with my people, not yours. And especially not you.”

I finally realize that this isn’t actually personal, as I initially thought it was. It’s for Chi. He believes it’s for her own good, and he’s angry at me for not realizing that, too. I see his point; maybe it would be better for me to leave her alone and let her go.

Chi isn’t the type of person to cry or go to her father to complain, so I’m guessing he knows about it because she hasn’t been able to hide her feelings from him sufficiently enough. Instead of making me happy that she’s thinking about me, the realization just makes me feel worse. Maybe my presence outside of her house really is making everything harder for her like it is for me.

But neither of them understands the other reason I’m here. Yes, Akio is right that I’m camping out because I want to keep some hold on her, however intangible. But I also truly care about her safety and worry that if I’m too lax, I won’t be able to help when there is a threat. A real threat, and not just these little things that pop up here and there that won’t ever amount to anything. Because eventually, there will be a real threat.

I try to explain this worry. “You must understand that you aren’t ever free from big threats, Akio. After all these years, you wouldn’t still be alive if you didn’t believe that these things could touch you.”

“Yes, Andy-san,” he begins, toying with the mouse on his computer. I know by his distracted gaze that my time is truly up. “Of course, I know to never stop being vigilant. But you insult me further when you assume that I can’t handle these issues on my own. And you show your hubris in the fact that you believe you’re the only one who can take care of it.”

This is hard to argue with, and I really don’t know what to say. I don’t see another choice here but to submit to his decision because it’s not mine to make in the long run. But I’m not about to make him think I’m okay with this, or that he’s doing the right thing.

“Fine, Akio. But you’re making a mistake, sir. I’ve never tried to hurt you, and you know I have a vested interest in helping. Shutting me out will only hurt you in the end. But do what you must. And unless you fire Casca, I have no choice but to stick around here. I’m here on his orders, not my own.”

I stand and bow my head, almost in melancholy. Logically, there is nothing to regret right now, but it feels like that emotion is rattling around inside of me. He sees the look on my face; I’m certain he realizes I’d never stand this way in front of anyone else, and I see him give me a side-long glance as he takes notice.

“I’m not the bad guy, Akio. I just made a decision you don’t like. I don’t like it much either, and I know Chi doesn’t. But as you know better than anyone, I’m sure, this is the way our lives are. This is what is dictated to me and what I have to follow. So, I’m going along with it. I’m doing what I can to get by. Don’t make it as though I’m the enemy.”

I turn from him and stride out of the office and down the hall before I spot her in the darkened corner on the landing of the stairs. In the dim light, I can just barely make out the crease in her forehead that tells me she’s trying too hard to look tough — to put up that impenetrable barrier that she could never quite fully erect around me.

I don’t want to think about what lies beneath it, because it doesn’t matter. Right now, there might be some sadness, but there’s anger too. I doubt it matters how long she’s been standing there. We were loud and the door was ajar.

“You heard me,” I say. Her glance flicks up at me, and she nods her head slowly.

“Well, I meant it, Chi. I am not the enemy.”

With that, I head outside to try and find a different place to watch from afar, telling myself that I’m done. Although this is my job, I’m going to stop the fixations on Chi-related intel. And that’s exactly what I do once I get back to my van.