Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Seven
A nna was walking through the hall that afternoon when the doorbell rang. Liev appeared and a gust of cold swept in as a courier handed him an envelope. Liev did not thank him and shut the door in the man’s face, glowering as he placed the letter the table.
‘I’ll leave this here,’ he muttered. ‘Can I get you anything, ma’am?’
‘No, thank you. Will Count Nicolay be long?’
‘He should be finished soon. He’s been interviewing all day…’
Who was Nicholas seeing? She might have asked Liev, but he probably didn’t know. It wasn’t her business, yet his abrupt dismissal of the courier was unlike him and she was curious. She stood by the table, feigning interest in a book of birds and studying the coloured prints, waiting until Liev had gone, before she inspected the large vellum envelope.
The address was inscribed in a flowery hand and she picked it up and turned it over. On the back was written ‘Tsarskoe Selo’ above a double-eagle red seal. It was the Romanov emblem and Anna’s heart missed a beat. She had assumed Nicholas’s affair with Princess Elizaveta was at an end. Was it possible he was still consorting with her? He’d been challenged to a dual and been obliged to leave St. Petersburg because of the scandal, she remembered. Pushkin had said Nicholas would have to find a wife. Was that why he had proposed to her – not out of a sense of duty but to put an end to rumours so he could carry on as before?
The idea made her furious. The old adage came into her head: a leopard never changes its spots. It was true, she thought. She knew what kind of man Nicholas was and it was stupid to think he would ever be any different. There were footsteps approaching and Anna quickly returned the envelope to the table. She sensed it was Nicholas as he came up behind her. His hand touched the back of her neck, lifting the heavy coil of her hair, and caressed her skin. When she turned towards him, he drew her close and kissed her. Her lips were soft but her eyes remained open.
Nicholas lifted his head, glanced at the letter and left it where it was.
‘I’ve asked Liev to bring us supper in my study.’ He took her arm and led her down the hallway. ‘Did Ludmilla show you everything?’
Why is that woman writing to you? Anna wanted to ask but caught herself and gave a careless lift of her shoulders. ‘She was an excellent guide. I learned things about you that I’d never imagined. She says you’re a great man.’
‘And you don’t agree?’
‘How would I know?’
‘My dear, surely you’ve formed an opinion by now. You know me better than most people.’
I don’t know you at all, Anna thought. You’re as fickle as a sunny day. She stole a glance at him and saw he was smiling, a smile without a trace of shame that was hard to resist. He was so handsome, and she didn’t want to think about Princess Elizaveta. The letter could be from anyone at court, she decided as he stood aside to let her pass through the door ahead of him.
The study was lined with bookshelves and they ate supper at a table in front of the fire. When they finished, Anna emptied her glass of wine and folded her napkin.
She waited as Nicholas took a pinch of snuff and then asked, ‘Who were you talking to all today?’
‘I was interviewing prospective teachers for our school. We’re conducting a small revolution here at Davinka.’
Nicholas went on to describe in detail what Anna had gathered in part from Ludmilla.
‘When the system was established, serfs weren’t meant to be slaves – the landlord only owned the land they worked on – but the distinction became blurred. Now almost half the population of Russia is trapped in bondage. Serfs have no rights. They can’t marry without their master’s permission. If they try to escape, they’re flogged or conscripted into the tsar’s army. It’s an evil as inhumane as slavery and must be brought to an end.’
As he was speaking, Anna realised what she had failed to perceive before. Nicholas was an intellectual, not a revolutionary, but his views were as radical as those of the Decembrists.
‘Our friends wanted to end serfdom and they failed. What makes you think you can succeed?’
‘Change requires patience and perseverance, but serfdom will be abolished in our lifetime. The government must be persuaded to grant compensation and force landowners to hand over enough land for the peasants to make a living. I can afford it and will give away my farms next year. In the meantime, it’s crucial the people acquire a rudimentary knowledge of literacy and arithmetic.’
On the shelves were pictures as well as books and Nicholas stood up and took down a small portrait.
‘The school here was Natasha Kulygin’s idea.’ He placed the drawing on the table in front of Anna. ‘She believed education was the foundation on which everything else would be built. I want to name the school in her memory.’
Anna recognised Varenka’s hand in the silverpoint portrait. Natasha? The name was familiar. She cast about in her mind. Natasha Kulygin? Why, she was the one Nicholas had spoken about in Moscow! This beautiful girl was the young woman who had died because of him.
‘How sad… How desperately sad.’ Anna spoke her thoughts out loud.
‘I never had the chance to ask her forgiveness,’ Nicholas said, as if it hurt to articulate the words. ‘She was one of the best human beings I’ve ever known.’
Anna was startled by the look of remorse on his face as he returned the picture to the shelf. He was pensive, then his eyes came back to her and his voice changed. Now it was light and cool.
‘Most of my neighbours are up in arms against me. They accuse me of undermining the tsar – but a few support my methods. They include Anastasia and Rubin Marinsky. You introduced me to her brother at Zinaida’s reception. They have a large estate not far from Davinka. We should ask them to come over while you’re here.’
Anna had glimpsed Anastasia with her husband at the ball in St. Petersburg. She smiled. She didn’t know her well but had always admired her. Might John come with them?
‘I would like that very much. I’ve never met her husband, but Anastasia was my heroine when I was growing up. She did precisely what she liked and was so charming no one minded.’
‘I admire women who aren’t afraid to get what they want.’ Nicholas smiled as his gaze sought her lips, lingering a moment. ‘It’s been a long day, lyubimaya. Let’s head upstairs.’
Nicholas carried the candle and went ahead to her bedroom. As they came to the door, he ran his hand up her back and touched the hollow at the nape of her neck, sending a shiver down her spine. Inside, the curtains were drawn and oil lamps alight. Anna expected to find Ludmilla and looked at him questioningly.
‘I’ve given her the night off,’ he said casually. ‘I’ll help you prepare for bed.’
‘But—’
‘If you think I don’t understand the intricacies of a lady’s toilette, you’re wrong.’
He sat down on a chair and held out his arms. Nicholas knew only too well how to undress a woman, Anna thought, her mouth going dry.
‘Don’t be nervous, my love. Come here.’
Anna stood before him, looking at him through her thick eyelashes as he undid the buttons of her dress one by one. So much about him thrilled and surprised her. His hands were adept as he removed her gown, loosened the laces of her underclothes and lifted them over her head. Nicholas sat her down to take off her shoes and her stockings, then pressed the tips of her fingers to his mouth, kissing each one in turn. He held her face in his hands and studied her, the flare of her nose and tilt of her eyebrows, as if he had never seen them before. One finger ran down her cheek and lightly pressed against her mouth before he lifted her onto the bed.
‘What will you do without me in St. Petersburg?’ he whispered in the darkness. ‘Will you take a lover?’
‘I’ll live a simple and chaste life.’
‘Never, lyubimaya! You were born for this.’
Nicholas made love to her, by turn gentle then fierce, and Anna welcomed him with hunger and delight. She loved the feel of his body and smooth skin. Her hands slipped down his back and she felt the flexing of his muscles – then they moved up again to touch the long hair at his neck that curled against her fingers. Her head was crushed into his shoulder and she breathed in the smell of him. He was saying he loved her, telling her she was beautiful, and small incoherent sounds came from her lips as she instinctively matched the rhythm of his movements. She heard the cadence of his breathing increase and felt again the rushing warmth and thrill of abandonment, her heart pounding in her ears as he took her to forgetfulness, fulfilment and beyond.
Afterwards, he lay on his side, his tousled head on her shoulder, and drew her sleepily towards him. For a few seconds, he breathed against her body. Then he turned his head and looked up at her.
‘For every man there’s only one woman – one he’ll never forget.’
He took a lock of her hair, curling it round his finger, and an image of Elizaveta Romanov drifted across Anna’s mind. Nicholas couldn’t have made love to her with such passion tonight unless it was over between them. She was his woman, the one he would never forget, and she pressed her lips to his cheek. As he lay beside her, naked and holding her close, she was almost afraid of the happiness she felt. She wouldn’t think of the past or the future. Nicholas had brought her back to life and Davinka was a sanctuary whose walls kept the outside world at bay.
Davinka. 2nd April
Darling Sofia
I dreamt of you last night and miss you. By the time you receive this there will be less than two months until your confinement. I am desolate not to be with you for the birth of your child. Thank heavens Katyusha and the others are there to take care of you.
The journey passed without incident and we are presently staying at Davinka before travelling on to St. Petersburg. Please tell Olga her brother has been most solicitous and she is greatly missed at home. It is a charming house and I have been made to feel very welcome.
Count Bulgarin has agreed to speak to Monsieur P. as Maria requested. I will write again from St. Petersburg. God bless you, darling Sofia. May He give you strength and good health. The pain of separation will never leave me, but you were right to tell me to go home. Thank you. I pray for you, Sasha and the baby every night.
I love you, Anna