Chapter Thirteen
The bathrooms weren’t too far in, and I wondered about the designer of this place. When I came out, Liam leaned against a wall as casual as could be, like we hadn’t just given each other hand jobs outside.
“I washed my hands, Red, but I can still smell you.” Liam shot me a wicked grin, lifting his fingers to his nose and inhaling deeply. “I think I have a new favorite scent.”
The hot words sent a jolt of desire through me though it tangled with my unease, and I glanced around nervously, wondering if what we’d just done was written all over my face.
“Chill,” he said, smirking. “More dancing, or want to sit for a few?”
“I’d like my drink.” Maybe it’ll help me relax.
He nodded, lacing his fingers through mine. We walked up the stairs, me feeling as if I were in a daze. Liam caught Derek’s attention from the balcony by our booth, and they signaled they’d be up in a few.
As I scooted into the booth, Liam pressed against me. I shifted, but there wasn’t anywhere to go. I was reeling from the time on the balcony—how fast things had progressed, how carried away I’d let myself get. When he shifted again, I wanted to cringe at how caged in I felt. He’s too close.
Avery greeted us with her normal cheeriness as she plopped into the booth across from us. “Where’d you guys disappear to? You were gone a while.”
I sipped my drink, trying not to panic.
“Red got a little overheated, so I took her outside to cool off.”
I kicked him under the table, but he only smirked, obviously proud of his double entendre. Avery’s penetrating stare would see too much if I wasn’t careful, so I deflected. “Did I miss any good songs?”
And that was all it took to get her going about what had happened on the dance floor. In the middle of her rambling, she piped in with, “I need to pee.”
She glanced at me, but I shook my head. Derek offered to show her where the bathrooms were, so she followed him down the stairs.
Left alone with Liam, I had no distraction from the images playing through my mind of our interlude, of how carried away I’d let myself get. We were moving too fast, he was getting too close. He took a sip of his drink, oblivious to my mounting distress. When he shifted again, his firm thigh touched mine and I couldn’t scoot any further away. Panic flared within me, doubts overflowing as I snapped into defense mode.
“Do you do this often?”
The furrow appeared in his forehead.
“Bring girls here to make them feel important.” My words were harsh, but my tone was flippant as the words tumbled out, and I was helpless to stop them. The trip wires had been triggered, my self-defense mechanisms in full swing as two words repeated in my head. Too close. He was too close. “Show off your phenomenal dancing skills to get them all hot and bothered. Then take them out to the balcony for a good time.”
The crease deepened as he read between the lines, hearing what I couldn’t bring myself to say outright.
“Dammit, Gina.” He dug into his pocket, pulling out a key and slamming it onto the table. Anger laced his words. “No. I’ve never done anything like this. Ever. This is all so fucking new to me that I feel like I can’t find my balance.”
His glare drilled into me, and I barely kept from flinching.
“I wanted you to have this, want you to come and go whenever the hell you want from my place. Because I love having you around.” He swiped his hand over his face. “Then you go and say shit like that.” He pushed away from the table with enough force that I was surprised it stayed anchored to the wall. And he stormed off.
The key taunted me from where it lay on the table, berating me for my hasty words and smart mouth. Guilt left a bitter taste on my tongue. I know better. I knew Liam well enough to see how hard he was trying, to see how different he’d been with me. But I’d insisted on fucking it up.
The atmosphere changed after that. I kept the key. I looked for any opening to apologize, to explain my awful reaction, but it never came. Derek and Avery stuck to us like glue the rest of the night while my words sat between us like a pregnant elephant the entire time, creating a distance I abhorred. At the complex, Liam ducked out of the elevator ahead of us, making some excuse about an early meeting.
I trudged into the apartment after Derek and Avery, guilt weighing heavily on me. I had to fix this, but I wasn’t sure how. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed help.
Derek poured him and Avery a small glass of whiskey each, then they both headed for the overstuffed armchair they always claimed. I forced myself to sit on the couch.
“Guys, I fucked up.” The words tasted awful as they spilled out of my mouth. I implied our intimacy, then told them exactly what I’d said to him and his reaction.
Derek’s eyes narrowed. “Why would you do that?”
I hung my head. “It’s a self-defense thing. People get too close, I get too attached…” I lifted a shoulder, wishing I could be different but not knowing how to change.
Avery came over to wrap an arm around my shoulders. “Oh, Gina.”
I leaned into her. “Every time things are going good, I go and screw it up.” A string of memories replayed, all the little moments I’d started getting comfortable at the foster homes, right before I’d messed it up. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
“She even tried to do it to me,” Avery explained to Derek as I listened with chagrin. “At one of the first parties we went to together, someone insulted me. So she stood up to them, put them in their place.” She shook her head, turning to me. “Your tongue should be a registered weapon.”
“But you still showed up the next day at my dorm with coffee and donuts.” The beginning of one of my favorite traditions. I squeezed her arm, letting her know how much it meant to me that she came back, and she held me tighter.
“I know so many people hurt you, and I know most don’t stick around after a test like this, but Liam’s one of the good ones.”
Derek nodded. “Yeah, he is, and he’s been through hell. I know he looks tough, but he had a rough couple years there.”
My voice was quiet as I admitted, “Liam told me about his football scholarship.”
Derek’s lips parted, and he sucked in a startled breath.
“And he took me to the diner.” I reached into my purse, pulling out the key. “He gave me this tonight. After what I said to him.” The guilt churned in my stomach as I stared at the small piece of metal resting in my fingertips.
“Whoa, Gina.” Derek’s voice was full of awe. I glanced up, and he lowered his chin, more serious than I’d ever seen him. “Please make this right? Please be careful with my friend? This is a lot for him.”
I swallowed, looking at the floor as I wrapped my hand around the key tightly enough for it to bite into my palm. “It’s a lot for me, too.”
We were all quiet for a long moment. I thought of Liam’s gesture, how he’d given me the key even after I’d treated him so badly. How he had reached out to me, time and again. I’d been vulnerable with him, more than once, and he had yet to hurt me. He deserved my trust, and more than that, my apology. I would make this right, no matter what. I took a deep breath then squared my shoulders and raised my head, determination brimming within me.
“So, what should I do?”
I felt better with a solid plan, though I still wasn’t sure I could sleep. I did, but lightly, and was up before everyone else. It being Wednesday, I had no classes. Liam had a morning meeting, so I wouldn’t be able to set my plan in motion until lunchtime. I tried studying, but it was difficult to do with the image of Liam’s pain-filled eyes lingering in my head.
Finally, it was time to get ready. I thought he’d appreciate lunch, especially since he had all those leftovers. I could use my new key, heat the food up and surprise him. I set about picking a cute outfit, then headed out, key in hand.
I hesitated at the door, wondering if I should knock. But that’s the whole point of the key, right? I decided to go in, my heart beating wildly the entire time as if someone were going to jump out and accuse me of doing something wrong. A flashback to the last time I’d surprised someone popped into my mind, but I shoved the image of Josh and his orgy away.
The apartment was quiet. I toed off my shoes, and when no one answered my tentative hello, I went to the kitchen to take stock of the leftovers, planning to shoot Liam a text to find out when he’d be back. Then I could plate up some of the stuff and have it ready to go.
A soft rumble made me jump, startling me enough that my hand automatically flew to my chest. The noise came from the sofa. I tiptoed over to find Liam sprawled across the couch, bare-chested and asleep.
His right arm was tucked behind his head, showing off the contoured lines of his muscles. The circular flames of his black tattoo stood stark against his tanned skin, and I stared at it, mesmerized before my gaze drifted down. It was my first time seeing him fully without a shirt, in good lighting.
He was worth the wait.
His broad, sculpted shoulders were so thick I wondered how he found shirts that fit. Then there was his chest. His big, broad, beautiful chest, pecs perfectly defined, dusted with light brown hair that tapered down to the thin line leading to his shorts.
His abs could inspire poetry or songs. I imagined if he were born in ancient times, he would have been fought over by women and men alike as a muse for their works of art. David, step aside, this is a real man.
I knelt beside the couch, resisting the urge to run a finger over the rough stubble on his cheek. He must not have shaved this morning for his meeting. I didn’t want to wake him. Maybe I could start getting out the leftovers quietly. I eased to my feet and had just turned away when he called my name.
“What are you doing here?”
I spun back around, unable to keep from staring at his beautiful chest as he sat upright. “Um, I, uh…” I wanted to touch him, taste him, claim every inch of him as mine. But first, I had to apologize, and my brain had stopped working in the face of his gorgeousness.
He took his time stretching, his expression growing annoyed.
“I used my key,” I blurted out. “I thought I could heat up leftovers.”
His eyebrows bobbed up, and I felt beyond idiotic because I hadn’t even begun to address any of my issues. This was going to be harder than I’d thought.
“Just help yourself, Gina,” he said. Resignation hung in his words and his movements as he strode past me.
“Liam, wait.”
He paused near the kitchen but didn’t turn to face me. This would only work if I opened up, so I sucked in a deep breath, trying to find the courage for the one thing I loathed more than anything. Making myself vulnerable.
But if anyone deserved it, Liam did.
I walked around and perched on the back of the couch, my bare feet dangling in midair. “I was out of line at Club 42.” He finally turned, and I couldn’t face the hurt in his eyes so I looked down, focusing on getting the words out. “I know you better than that.”
It took me a moment to gear up for the next part, his assessing stare resting heavily on me the whole time. “I’m sorry. It’s difficult for me to say this, but I get scared sometimes. It’s not easy to trust after someone shreds you to pieces, and growing up, I was in pieces more often than I care to admit.”
I swallowed at the thickness in my throat as I fought back the memories. “If people get too close to me, or I start to care too much, I hurt them as a way of testing them, to see…” I drew in a breath, digging for the courage to continue. “To see if they’ll come back, and you got too close, so fast.” The last words left me in a whoosh. “It’s terrified me to discover that I care about you, a lot.” I forced myself to look at him.
Liam stood stock still in the middle of the room as my words reverberated between us. I clung to the couch, tension tightening my chest as I lowered more of the barriers I always kept so firmly in place.
“I came here today to tell you that I’m sorry. And I want you to know that I—” I cut myself off, needing to swallow down the fear bubbling up in me. I raised my chin, determined to tell him. “I trust you.”
Then he was in front of me. He wedged himself between my legs, his lips inches from mine. Emerald eyes searched mine, hope shining brightly in their depths. “Do you? Really?”
His husky voice flooded me with desire, and I nodded, unable to speak.
His large hands on either side of my hips, he whispered, “You trust me to catch you?”
Again I nodded, and I was met with his brilliant smile.
“All right, Red. Prove it.”
He nodded to the couch behind me, and understanding dawned. He wanted me to fall backward, to actually let him catch me. I held his gaze, teasing and kind, but with a hint at a depth that scared me. All our little moments replayed through my head, his touches, his kindness, his jokes. And a peace settled over me as I let myself fall.
Warm hands caught me, strong arms pulled me to his firm, bare chest, and I wrapped my legs around him. My heart stampeded in my throat from the exhilaration of the mini trust fall.
“You did it, Gina.”
I smirked. “You should have bet on it, ’cause I was a sure thing.”
Heat flared between us as his eyes darkened and my smirk faded. His lips found mine in a passionate kiss as one of his large hands eased back to cup my ass, holding me tight against him. His bare skin under my fingers fed the flames dancing within me, and I was more than ready for the next step.
I tore my mouth from his, holding his gaze while I peeled my shirt over my head. His throat bobbed as he stared at my lacy bra. His other hand skated up my bare side, his thumb grazing my abdomen before I dragged his lips to mine once more. I swallowed his groan as my chest collided with his, and he carried me to the bedroom.
“Are we really doing this, Gina?” Rawness laced his voice, a vulnerability that surprised me.
I cupped his cheek. “Yes, please. Please, Liam, I want this so bad. I want you, all of you.” I pressed my chest to his, touched my lips lightly to his mouth.
His hand came up to the clasp up my bra, his eyes searching mine for permission. The fabric fell away as he sucked in a breath. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous. I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you since the day I saw you in that tank top when we played Never Have I Ever at Avery’s.”
The heat of his gaze should have left burn marks on my bare skin. I lightly traced his tattoo, allowing my finger to follow the dancing flames.
“I was surprised you didn’t wake up from me drooling on you earlier. Are you sure you’re not made of marble?” I raked my nails lightly down his chest, and goosebumps appeared in their wake.
He laid me on his bed, his scent enveloping me. His weight partially shifted onto me as if he wanted me to feel the heaviness of more than his words. “It’s not just your body, you know. It’s all of you. That mouth, that fight, that spark. Gina, you drive me crazy.”
“You do, too. You’re so sweet and kind and funny. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see it. You’re a great guy, Liam. When I said I wanted all of you, I meant it.”
His devastating smile appeared just before his lips descended to mine, devouring me. We lay there, the weight of him enough to keep me from floating away into the effervescent happiness flooding me. Every inch of him was hard planes, firm muscle, solid flesh and I let my fingers roam over his delicious body.
He returned the favor, and I loved the feel of his rough hands sliding over me. He never stopped moving, always caressing, kneading. Every nerve ending was awake and screaming for him to touch me.
He shifted between my legs, his considerable length settling on just the right spot, and he chuckled at my moan. “Know what my absolutely favorite thing about women is?”
I shook my head as his lips left mine, trailing over my cheek, down my neck. I arched into him as his tongue dipped into the crevice of my collarbone.
His grin turned wicked. “There’s no limit to how many times you can orgasm.”