The Red-Hot Stakes

Chapter Twenty

I staged all my stuff just inside the apartment door, so that Liam wouldn’t see it immediately when he walked in. Then I watched the clock count down the minutes.

Waiting was agonizing, and I felt like a knife dangled just above my heart. I memorized the imaginary sharpness of its blade, the curve of the handle that would soon plunge deep into my chest by my own hand. But I had to sit there with the phantom tip pressing into my skin.

A mere taste of the pain to come.

To pass the time, I searched for local bars near Sally’s. There weren’t many, but I had to hope one of them was hiring. Not only was my current place of employment a pile of burnt rubble, but there was no way I could stomach working with Liam after this. If he even wanted me to.

At last, Liam walked in. I glanced at the time—nearly two. I’d arrive early at Sally’s, but it didn’t matter. I stood as Liam stopped abruptly, taking in my suitcases and a few boxes.

“Gina? What’s going on?”

“I’m done, Liam. It’s time to move on.” I kept my tone cool, let it border on harsh while my expression stayed neutral. But oh, on the inside. Inside it was all I could do not to sob.

“What do you mean?” He rubbed his eyes as if he were dreaming. As if when he woke up, it would all be back to normal.

If only.

“Is this about you thinking you’re cursed?”

The knife ripped through me again. I pretended my face was made of stone, that my heart was made of ice. “It’s the only way, Liam. It’s best for both of us, and someday, you’ll see that.”

He shook his head. “No, never. Being apart can never be what’s best for us.”

“I’m leaving. I’ve already found my own place.” I sighed, channeling the inner bitch so many saw me as. “Sorry about the timing, but I really need to focus on my career. I have dreams, Liam, and I just can’t handle all these distractions.”

The idea that the love of my life was simply a distraction nearly had me undone, but I kept my unfeeling mask firmly in place. Liam reeled backward as if I’d struck him.

“My Uber will be here soon.” I hauled my things to the hallway in two trips, making sure I didn’t look at Liam any more than necessary. I didn’t have the stomach for it. Luckily a lot of my stuff was still in Avery’s storage room.

I placed the key to his apartment on the table, along with my key ring for The High Five. “Good luck rebuilding. I wish you all the best.” It took every ounce of my strength not to throw my arms around him and beg for his forgiveness. And I still had to find more of that strength to keep my chin up, stride past him out of the apartment then shut the door behind me.

Somehow I did it. I allowed myself a brief second to sag against the wall before hauling everything to the elevator and through the lobby. I’d just finished loading the trunk of the Uber when Liam frantically called my name.

He tore across the sidewalk to clutch my hand, dropping to his knees. “Don’t go.” Only two words, but his whole heart was in them.

This proud, amazing man was begging me, literally begging me, to stay. My heart shattered into millions of pieces. Pieces so minuscule, I had no hope of ever putting them back together again.

I stared at the man I loved more than anything, desperately reaching to remember why I was doing this and what was at stake. I forced myself to sneer, “Liam, have some dignity.” I yanked my hand from his and stepped into the Uber, shutting the door behind me.

I didn’t dare look back, couldn’t handle seeing the crushed expression I knew I’d find on Liam’s face. My stomach rolled as if I might vomit.

My cell phone rang. “Hello?”

Heartless laughter filled the line. “Gina, you were exquisite, and I can’t thank you enough. I’ll send you those coordinates right now. You definitely earned them.”

He hung up, and I looked around frantically, knowing he had seen us. He had to be here somewhere. Was he outside, nearby? Had he walked past and I’d missed him? The sidewalk was empty other than Liam growing smaller in the distance.

A text came through with an address, then another text with a video.

Woodenly, I opened it to find Liam on his knees, me staring down my nose at him, yanking my hand away. “Have some dignity.” The video looped over and over. I shut off the phone as the tears poured down.

* * * *

Hours later, I walked to the coordinates the blackmailer had given me, my backpack holding several necessities including a can of polyurethane. I’d read it would negate any possible fingerprints, just in case I was stopped from point A to point B.

This evidence needed to be destroyed, and I was going to do it. If I got caught, so be it. It was a risk I was willing to take if it meant keeping Liam out of jail.

I couldn’t let the madman win.

The address turned out to be a tilted shed in an abandoned lot. One door hung open. A small red gas can sat inside, along with a few rags and a pair of ratty shoes that were just Liam’s size. His truck shoes.

I sprayed every inch of the gas can’s exterior with the polyurethane, then waited while it dried. After I’d received the coordinates, I’d been relieved to see how close Lake Michigan was. Our little state park was remote enough that I could destroy the evidence without detection.

If I was stopped, I planned to act casual. A college student with a backpack wasn’t suspicious. If someone investigated at the beach, I planned to say I was burning my ex-boyfriend’s things.

Which wasn’t a lie.

I managed to squeeze everything into the backpack before I went to the beach. Not a single car passed me on the road, though my heart pounded in my chest and my stomach twisted with each step. Finally, I made it across the parking lot to the sand, trudging over to a metal trash barrel out of view from anyone driving by.

The cool breeze whipped through me as I hastily pulled the matches and newspaper from the front pocket of the backpack. I took out the shoes before lowering the whole bag into the can. I grabbed the polyurethane, coating the bottoms of the shoes first then generously spraying the top. Both gasoline and polyurethane were highly flammable, so I had to be extra careful. The gas can felt empty, but I knew fumes were just as dangerous.

Twisting the newspaper into a long, thin rod, I lit one end on fire then the other. I tossed it into the garbage can, stepping back immediately. The whoosh of flames roared into the air, heating my skin and making me squint in its brightness. I shielded my eyes as I watched the flames eat away the incriminating evidence bit by bit until nothing remained but charred, unrecognizable lumps.

Exactly the way my heart felt.

* * * *

Back in my new room, I didn’t have the energy to unpack. Derek and Avery both called then texted, demanding explanations, but I had none. I lay on the firm bed, staring at the ceiling. Sally knocked on my door, asking if I wanted to join her for dinner, but I couldn’t muster an answer. Eventually she went away.

I drifted off to sleep at some point. When I woke up, the sun was mid-sky, and my phone said it was Saturday. I needed to find work, needed to get up and at least shower. Eat something. I managed to go to the bathroom and down a cup of water. Then I flopped back on the bed, the black hole within me ever expanding.

Sunday dawned, and that was all the wallowing I allowed myself. I forced my body out of bed, into the shower, and made myself wash. One foot into my pant leg, then the other. My teeth weren’t going to brush themselves.

I walked downstairs, pausing when I saw Sally pacing between the kitchen and living room. Her firm tone caught my attention first, then her words.

“You didn’t see her, Liam. You don’t know the half of what she’s going through, is all I’m saying. Whatever choice she had to make, the other option was worse.” She paused.

“I don’t know why she can’t just talk to you. All I’m saying is that girl is going through hell right now, pardon my French. And you’d do well not to just write her off.” More silence. “Well then, maybe I misjudged you.” She hung up, setting her phone hard on the table.

I sat down heavily on the landing as tears blurred my vision. I couldn’t believe she’d gone to bat for me, had even cared enough to make the phone call.

Sally hmphed, then caught a glimpse of me, and her angry expression softened to one of sympathy. “I tried, sugar, but he’s not ready to listen.”

“Thank you,” I croaked.

“I have some homemade chicken noodle soup that’ll cure just about anything. Come have a bowl with me.” It wasn’t a question, and she bustled off to the kitchen, not waiting for my answer.

I swiped at my cheeks, feeling not quite so alone in my little corner of the world. The soup was phenomenal, and I actually did feel a bit better after eating it. “I don’t suppose you know of any bars or restaurants hiring around here?”

“Actually, one of our regulars runs the bar a couple blocks over. He was just complaining about finding decent help. I’d be happy to walk over there, introduce you.”

“Thank you,” I said again. I had no idea how I’d ever repay this amazing lady, but I sure as hell was going to try.

By that evening, I had a job—one that would work around my classes and my upcoming vacation. It was a bit dingier than The High Five, with rougher clientele, but the other staff seemed nice enough. And money was money.

Monday morning, I made it through my first class no problem, only to be ambushed by Avery after my second. The angry line of her lips, the folded arms and her tapping toes told me I was in big trouble.

“At least yell at me over lunch.”

She fell into step beside me. “Aren’t you even going to try to explain?”

“What’s there to explain? It didn’t work out.”

Her jaw dropped. “Bullshit, Gina. That is the biggest line of bullshit I’ve heard come out of your mouth.”

The worst part was that she wasn’t wrong.

She didn’t pull any punches. “I saw how happy you were. I’ve never seen you like that! Ever! So, what happened?”

I clenched my jaw, working hard to keep everything from tumbling out. Only the blackmailer’s threat of someone getting hurt held me back. “I need to concentrate on my career. Now isn’t the time for a serious relationship.”

She stopped dead in her tracks. “Tell me you didn’t break up with him because you got scared. Tell me this isn’t a self-protection thing. Or because of that stupid curse you think you have.”

Maybe this is easier. I didn’t deny it.

“Gina, talk to me!”

I whirled on her. “I can’t. I can’t talk to you.” I clenched my hands into fists, desperately trying to keep it together. All I wanted was to pour my heart out and sob in her arms. Instead, I steeled myself, making sure my barriers stayed firmly in place. “I’m not ready to talk about this with you or anyone else. It’s over, and everyone has to accept it.”

Some part of me hoped she’d see through my fa?ade as I started walking again. That she wouldn’t accept my bullshit answer, and I’d be forced to tell her everything.

But that hope was dashed as she called after me, “How can you be so cold-hearted? You’re not the only one hurting, you know. Do you have any idea what you did to Liam?”

The words hit their mark, but I didn’t stop, didn’t stumble, even though all I wanted was to rage at the injustice of it all. I wanted to shout that I’d done it for Liam, to protect him. Instead, I let her think the worst of me, pretending it didn’t matter.

When it was the only thing that mattered.

* * * *

The days were rough, to put it mildly. A new routine was always hard, and I missed Sarah, Wyatt and Burt. And Liam, especially Liam. I missed his cedar and pine scent, his big muscles, the way he crowded me. My queen bed was too spacious, and I felt too small, too alone without him.

I also missed Avery. The chasm in our relationship quickly grew to a canyon, my continued silence widening the span between us.

Wednesday evening was Avery and Derek’s shower. The morning of, I debated whether or not I should even go.

I’d bought her the dress, but I had another little present I’d saved for her. My gift tucked under one arm, I lifted my chin and gathered my fake confidence as I strode in, weaving through the many guests. I wore the dress Avery and I had chosen that day with Selena’s help, hoping it’d be a peace offering.

The gift table practically buckled under the weight of the presents. I added mine to the stack, turning around only to see Liam, who went white as a sheet. Derek followed his gaze, his expression coated in an unfamiliar iciness that made me flinch. He growled, stepping protectively in front of his friend. Avery and Rhonda waltzed in, arm in arm.

She wasn’t wearing the dress I’d bought her. That detail stabbed into me, another knife wound adding to the collection of the gaping holes in my heart.

“Gina!” Avery gasped. “Oh, um, you must not have received my message.” She hurried over, lowering her voice and steering me toward the door. “We thought maybe you should avoid the shower today. You know, with everything.”

Anger coursed through me. So that’s how it’s going to be. “I wanted to drop off my present for you. Congratulations, BFF. I like your dress.” My words dripped with acid and hurt. “Be sure to let me know beforehand if I’m uninvited to the wedding, will you? I’ve already taken the time off work.” I stormed out of the door, anger and betrayal swirling inside me.

Maybe she’d take back my invitation to the wedding. I couldn’t think of anything worse at the moment than spending ten days with my so-called friends judging me the whole time.

Except not spending ten days with them.

Rage built inside me, all the hurt fueling the fire into a blazing inferno. The hall wasn’t far from Lake Michigan’s sprawling beach, and I toed off my flats, running the several blocks before I hit the cold sand where I fell to my knees. My scream was carried away by the wind.

A steady resolve built in me, growing stronger with each wave that crashed on the shore.

I was done being a pawn. I’d keep my word, since it was probably too late to fix things anyway. I had played my part too well. But I was done moping, done feeling sorry for myself. My friends could think what they wanted about me, but I knew the truth.

And I’d do it again.

My throat tightened at the pain of another abandonment. If they were willing to judge me so quickly, then who needed them. If Avery was willing to throw away all our years of friendship over this, choosing them over me, then so be it. I stood up, brushing off my legs.

I walked home, desperate to burn away my lingering emotional energy. A flier caught my attention, advertising a gym just around the corner from Sally’s. They offered self-defense and boxing.

I’d taken classes before. When I’d first started college, it had been a way of dealing with my anger and past frustrations. It had helped more than therapy. Why wouldn’t it help now? I snapped a pic of the info, striding past my new house right to the gym.

“Do you have any self defense or boxing classes tonight with openings?” I asked, leaning on the counter.

“We have one class that starts in twenty minutes—beginner’s boxing. But you’re not dressed for it.” The lady behind the desk snapped her gum.

No shit, Sherlock. I tried to keep my voice somewhat pleasant. “I don’t live far from here, but didn’t want to change if there wasn’t any availability.”

I signed up for a month-long trial period. If I wanted to stay on after that, I’d even get a student discount. Then I hurried back to Sally’s to change. Maybe I couldn’t have prevented this from happening, but I was done being the victim. It was time to fight.

* * * *

The next week and a half passed in a blur of school, work and exercise. I took every class at the gym I could. Despite burning all the extra calories, my appetite was nonexistent, and I nearly dropped a dress size even though I had Sally constantly pestering me to eat.

My final fitting for the wedding came. I met Avery and Rhonda there, the first I’d seen of either of them since the shower. They both stared as I strode in with my chin held high. I would not cower before anyone, even if it made me seem like a self-righteous bitch.

“Gina, you’ve lost weight.”

Is that concern in Avery’s voice?I cautiously answered her. “I’ve been working out a lot. There’s a gym right around the corner from my place.”

Selena’s disapproving stare hit me as the seamstress clucked about the extra space in my dress. “Not good to lose so much weight this close to the wedding.”

Avery’s arms went to her hips, and I knew she was trying to cover her curves, knew she was comparing herself to me. She’d always done that. We were complete opposites, in every way. She was nearly six feet tall with curves that men drooled over. I was slight and athletic. But at times, all she saw was skinny versus not skinny.

I couldn’t handle the familiar doubt on her face, and I closed the distance, grabbing her hands. “You’re beautiful, Ave. Now and always. Derek loves you exactly as you are, and if he ever caught you comparing yourself to me, you know he’d be livid.” I squeezed her fingers.

She squeezed back, her face crumpling. “Oh, Gina, I’ve missed you so much!” She pulled me into a watery hug.

My throat was thick as I said, “I missed you, too.” And one of my many broken pieces slid back into place.

“I’m sorry I got so mad. I don’t know what you’re going through, but you’re my friend. And I need to respect that there are some things you’re not going to tell me.” She squeezed my shoulders. “Just know I’m here if you need to talk, okay?”

“I’m sorry too, for being so distant.” I paused, swallowing hard as I fought tears of relief. “I guess this means I can still come to the wedding?”

“You’d better come! Or you’ll really see me mad.”

Rhonda smiled at us, tight-lipped, but it was a start. I’d take what I could get.

I reached for my purse. “I brought your birthday present too, Ave. I know it’s late…” I trailed off, all the uncertainty between us coming up once more since her birthday had been this past week but I hadn’t known if she’d wanted to speak to me. I handed her the envelope.

She eagerly reached for it, tearing the envelope open. “A pedicure?”

I nodded. “I know how much you love them.”

She squealed, throwing her arms around me once more. “Thanks, Gina.”

I returned her hug, the ground between us feeling a little firmer. “You’re welcome. Happy birthday.”

Thankfully Liam’s name didn’t come up at all as we went through our fitting. I wasn’t sure I could handle hearing it spoken out loud, though I did wonder how he was doing. A flash of his stricken face at the shower appeared in my head, but I shoved it aside.

Selena continued to cluck over me, so much that I had to resist the urge to ask if she was a chicken. Finally she pinned the fabric the way she wanted.

Once all three of us were in our beautiful flowy dresses, we stood together in front of a large mirror. Avery looped her arms over our shoulders, the link that joined us. She beamed. “Just beautiful.”