43. Difficult
Most weekday afternoons, my mother lunched and went shopping with her friends for as long as I could remember. But since I sneaked in to grab my things today, hoping to bypass her completely, she was in the garden when I pulled up to the guest house.
Dusting off her knees when I closed the door, she grinned as I jerked my chin at her. “Hey.”
Tiny green and blue gloves with lace around the top landed on the little brick half-wall separating the driveway from the pool. I’d prepared myself for her usual round of make-up love-bombing to get in my good graces again when she’d gone too far, but she skipped right over that and went straight for berating me into submission instead. “Are you ready to talk about this like a grownup now?”
Like a shield to protect me from her powers, my arms crossed over me as I motioned toward the little brick cottage. “I’m just here to grab my things.”
Slowly nodding as she sized me up, she arched her brows at me. “Where have you been?” She pointed to the oversized Tudor on the other side of the trees as if he still lived next door. “Jason hasn’t been answering any of my calls. And since you haven’t been answering them either, I was just wondering where you’ve been hiding?”
I held up my hand, only waiting for her to shut her mouth long enough for me to get a word in. “First, don’t bother him anymore. He’s a grown-ass man with a business to run. He doesn’t have time to deal with your drama.” Folding my arms again, I put up two fingers. “Second, I bought a house. Hence, why I’m here getting my shit.”
Completely taken aback that I would dare move on without her, she widened her eyes as far as that botched facelift would allow. “A house?” Dripping with irritation that I’d do anything against her wishes, she huffed one of her condescending laughs. “Well, isn’t that something?” Rubbing the skin below her throat until her entire chest was red, she finally flipped her hand away. “So, when do I get to see it?”
Frankly, I couldn’t imagine a universe where all of us being one happy family could ever exist. But she was my mother, and some part of me was still hoping she might have a smidge of regret about what she’d done to us. “As soon as you apologize to Faith for all those big, fat lies you told her to make her leave me.”
While she chewed on the inside of her mouth, it twisted back at me as she shook her head. “Boy, she works quick. Doesn’t she?”
It wasn’t worth losing my peace of mind to try to explain anything to her, so I waved her off and turned for the pool house. “Okay. We’re done.”
Her ugly foam shoes with the holes in them made flumping sounds as she chased me across the bricks, keeping the front door open with her foot when I tried to shut it. “I realize you’re angry, but you need to step back and look at the whole picture.”
Racing back the hall to get this thing over with, my hands snapped away from my face. “Oh, I have the whole picture, alright. My eyes are wide open.”
Throwing her arm across the bedroom doorway to pin me in, she jerked her eyes toward the bathroom. “You must not be taking your medicine. You’re being very difficult.”
I yanked my suitcase from under the bed and shook my head before I pushed myself up again. “Unbelievable.” I tossed the bag on my bed and grabbed every hanger on the rod in one armful. “I’m almost forty fucking years old, and you still can’t respect my privacy?”
Fluffing her hair in the back like this whole drama she created was only boring her now, she shook her chin as I stacked the clothes on the bed. “No. Not when you’re acting like a crazy person.”
I bounced my finger at her on my way to the dresser. “Nice gaslighting. You must have been saving that one up for a special occasion like this, but I don’t have the time to play your sick little game right now.”
Jerking the entire drawer out, I paused and spoke to her reflection. “If you and I are going to continue to have some kind of relationship, you need to figure out a way to be comfortable having Faith around.” I dumped everything into my suitcase and slid the drawer back into the dresser. “She’s my number one priority now, and I’m not going to be putting up with you treating her like shit.” Another drawer came forward, and I took out a stack of t-shirts. “So, if you can’t behave yourself, just stay away from us.”
Dropping to the edge of the bed, she leaned back on her hand. Just from how she lowered her voice into that I’m-so-concerned-about-you-way, I knew she was already working on her next plan to drive us apart. “Is she aware of how sick you are?”
Another pile fell inside the case, and I shoved them all down flatter as I snorted a laugh at her. “You’re precious. You know that?” Like I somehow forgot about all those times I went to her in tears and asked for help didn’t happen, I rubbed my chin and squinted at her. “Aren’t you the one who wouldn’t let me take the pills in the first place because you said all I needed was Jesus?”
Making her glare at me like that when I turned her own words around at her was one of life’s little joys for me.
The edge of my hand scraped everything off the top of my dresser as I caught it in a plastic shopping bag. “The only thing that was ever wrong with me was not knowing what happened to Faith.” I stooped down a little as I passed her to flicker my eyebrows at her. “But since I have the facts now, I’m all good.” The bag twisted around itself, and I threw it on top of the rest of my things. “You’ll have to find some other way to occupy your time. I’m done being manipulated by you.”
Wedged deep in the corner, the zipper tab and I fought with each other until she grabbed my wrist to stop me. “Think whatever you want about what I did, but it was only because I love you.” A little toss of her shoulder completely dismissed me. “I thought she was the wrong girl for you, and I still believe that. You can do much better.”
I was ready to lay my hands on her — I won’t lie about that. I was so angry I wanted to tear that entire house apart. But that’s what she wanted, and I could see it in her eyes.
So when I only twisted her hand away hard enough to make her release me instead, I knew I was ready to deal with whatever she threw at me from now on. “What you think about anything means nothing to me anymore. Absolutely nothing. So, go on and do your worst.”
I folded all the clothes on hangers over my arm and grabbed the suitcase handle. Whatever I couldn’t carry with me could be replaced, because I wasn’t ever walking back through her door again. “We have no business with each other anymore.”