The Rogue and His Flower (Princetown Heirs #2)

Chapter 16

DALTON

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

My head is fucking scrambled. I don’t know what to think, what to say, how to act, even. The whole drive home the tension between us has been suffocating as Daisy navigates the dark, winding roads that lead us back to Highwood Manor Estate. Tonight I told her something that I’ve never told anyone, not even Drix, at least not directly.

I don’t know how to love.

It was the honest truth, and I don’t feel any lighter after revealing it, I just feel the burden of it weighing heavily on my shoulders. But my issues are insignificant in comparison to the trauma Daisy has been through. How could I have been so fucking self-centred to not have realised that her upbringing had been as bad as that? Yes, I knew her parents abandoned her, but the cruelty she spoke of? Fuck, it makes my blood burn with a rage I’ve never felt before.

I’m angry at her parents for treating her that way. I’m angry at Drix for not telling me the whole truth. I’m angry at myself for the way I’ve acted towards her, not just tonight, but ever since I’ve known her. I’m an arsehole, the worst kind of person. All of the things she accused me of being are true. I should’ve let Drix hit me. Fuck knows I deserved it.

How do I even begin to make up for all of the shitty things I’ve said to her over the years, let alone how I’ve behaved towards her tonight? How could I have been so blind, so callous in my treatment of her? My mind is a whirlwind of guilt and regret as I grapple with the harsh truth of my own shortcomings. It’s a terrifying realisation, one that leaves me feeling utterly lost and adrift.

As we finally pull up to Highwood Manor Estate, Daisy cuts the engine but doesn't make a move to get out. I know we need to talk about what happened tonight, about the bombshell that was dropped on us both, but where do I even begin? I’m not equipped for this.

Summoning what little courage I have left, I turn to face Daisy, who meets my gaze with a mixture of apprehension and resignation. Taking a deep breath, I search for the right words, words that can convey the depth of my remorse and regret. But as I open my mouth to speak, all that comes out is a choked whisper.

“I’m sorry,” I say, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, and everything I’ve said or done over the years that has added to your pain.”

“I appreciate that,” she replies, before stepping out of the car, leaving me alone to face my thoughts.

I sit in the dark for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts before following her inside. When I finally catch up with her, Daisy is standing by the fireplace in the den, her silhouette illuminated by the flickering flames. She doesn’t turn as I approach her, but I can sense her unease vibrating in the air between us as she takes a seat in the armchair by the fire. Sitting opposite her, I wait, hoping that she’ll open up, that we can try to unravel the mess I’ve made of everything. Finally, she turns to face me, and in the dim light, I see the pain in her eyes, feel it as though it’s my own.

“My parents used to keep me locked and tied up in a darkened room,” she begins, her voice quavering.

My chest tightens at her words, another wave of guilt crashing over me. How could I have been so selfish in my own pain that I had failed to see hers? “Fuck, I’m sorry, Daisy. I want to make things right,” I say earnestly.

“Then will you listen to what I have to say? Because after tonight I don’t ever want to speak of it again,” she replies softly.

“Of course I will, whatever you need,” I offer, forcing myself to remain seated and not run from her vulnerability. She deserves to be heard. I owe her that much at least. Daisy takes a deep breath, steadying herself before she begins to recount the horrors of her past.

“I was just a child,” she explains, her voice trembling. “Alone in the darkness for five long years, with only my thoughts and fears for company. They barely let me leave the room. They fed me scraps of food and gave me water to drink from a dog bowl like I was some kind of animal…”

As she speaks, her voice quivers with suppressed pain, each sentence a testament to the resilience she must have carried all these years. I can’t equate what she’s telling me and the godawful picture she’s painting with the girl I’ve come to know. She’s kept all of that trauma buried deep inside, hidden beneath her colourful outfits and sunny disposition. Her bravery floors me. Swallowing the lump in my throat I force myself to face her pain and not run from it.

“Daisy, I can’t even begin to comprehend what you went through.”

She gives me a small nod of acknowledgement, swiping at the tears on her face as she continues. “They beat me, called me names, and finally, when they’d had enough of me, they left me on a roadside in the middle of the night, malnourished, barely alive, and with nothing but a threadbare nightgown to keep me warm. I’ve often wondered why they didn’t actually just kill me…” Her voice trails off as she heaves out a sigh.

My fingers curl into fists at my side, the urge to rage at the world on the tip of my tongue, but I hold it in, not wanting to add to her distress.

“Eventually someone found me, took me to the local police station. A day later I was in foster care. That’s where I met Drix. That’s when I began to heal. His love saved me, and Hubert’s kindness, patience and love helped me to grow into the person I am today.”

“You’ve been through so much,” I say, my voice hoarse as I struggle with my own emotional response to her harrowing story. Emotions I didn’t know I had bubble to the surface like painful little blisters.

“I never wanted that experience to define me, and I’ve tried hard every single day to not let bitterness and hatred blacken my heart.”

“I admire your strength, Daisy,” I say, pushing up from my seat and dropping to my knees before her. Tentatively, I reach for her hands, clasping them within mine. She doesn’t resist, instead she lets out another shaky breath.

“It’s taken me a long, long time to get where I am today. Drix was so good to me, Dalton. I’m not exaggerating when I say he saved my life. He quickly became my anchor, the one person, until Hubert adopted us both, that made me feel safe.”

“He’s a good man,” I say, missing his friendship even more in that moment.

“He is,” she agrees with a soft smile.

“What happened to your parents, Daisy?” I ask, wanting to know that they paid for what they did to her, because if they haven’t, I will do everything in my power to make their lives a misery.

“They were arrested and charged for child abuse and neglect. I’m told my father died in prison a month after he was sent there.”

“And your mother?”

“Still alive. She’ll never get out. Hubert made sure of it.”

I nod. “Good.”

“I try not to think about either of them. It’s too painful.”

“Have you had therapy? If you need anything like that, I can arrange it for you, Daisy. Anything you want, just ask, okay?”

“I’ve had a lot of therapy over the years, and for the most part I can function day-to-day, but at night, when I’m alone, it’s a little harder for me.”

“At night?”

“For obvious reasons, I was afraid of the dark. I still am,” she continues. “I have to sleep with a light on, and on occasion I have nightmares. Though they have lessened over the years. Drix figured out early on that nighttime was worse for me. He used to sleep with me every night when we were in foster care. He used to wrap his arms around me and hold me until I drifted off.”

“I’m so glad he was there for you, Daisy. That he still is.”

“Me too,” she replies, giving me a tremulous smile. “You know, even after we were adopted by Hubert, Drix would still come into my room if I had a nightmare or was feeling particularly vulnerable. He’d sit with me until the sun came up, never once complaining about being tired the next day.” Daisy’s eyes fill with tears as she recalls those memories. “He was my protector, my saviour. So when I found out about his debt, there was no question that I would help him. I agreed to this arranged marriage because his happiness means everything to me.”

“I can see why he’s so protective of you, and why he hates that I’m the one you’re tied to now,” I admit, scraping a hand through my hair at the realisation. “I wish things were different. I wish I could be the man you need…”

She grips my fingers. “I told Drix that I want you and I to be friends, I meant it. Can we at least try to be that, Dalton?”

“Yes,” I reply without hesitation. “I want to be your friend, Daisy. I’m just so fucking sorry you’ve been drawn into all of this.”

“Selfishly, I want something out of this arrangement too.”

“A child?”

“Yes, someone I can shower with love. I want to give our child all the love I never experienced, that you didn’t. I’m sorry you never felt loved either,” she adds with a whisper. “I’m sorry I’ve been unkind to you too.”

My throat constricts, and I nod, swallowing hard. “Then it will be my honour to help you to become a mother.”

“Even if that means making this baby in an unconventional way?” she asks, a soft smile pulling up her lips.

“Even then,” I reply.

A few minutes later I’m standing on the threshold of Daisy’s bedroom as she steps inside and slips off her shoes, her toes curling into the plush carpet. When she turns to face me I can see the lingering vulnerability in her eyes.

“Thank you for listening, Dalton,” she says, wrapping her arms around herself, looking more lost than ever, and before I’ve even had time to think my feet are moving of their own accord as I stride towards her.

“You’re not alone, Daisy,” I say, gently cupping her face.

Her body trembles as she leans into my touch, seeking comfort amidst the chaos of raw emotion. Every part of me wants to pull her into my arms, to hold her, comfort her, but I’m not convinced my body will react the way it should. Fuck knows I’m fighting the urge to kiss her again. The way I feel right now is confusing to me, and I don’t know how to unravel it all. So we stand there for a moment, suspended in time, before she breaks the silence.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” she whispers.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I admit.

“All this talk of my past…” Her voice trails off as she catches the look on my face. “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s okay, I understand why you don’t want to.”

“I’m not sure that you do,” I say, releasing her and swiping my hand through my hair in frustration. “I just don’t trust myself right now. Earlier, I wasn’t respectful towards you. I was caught up in my own head. I let my own selfish needs and insecurities get the better of me, and I’m not sure I have the willpower to ignore these urges I’m fighting against right now. I want you, and I wouldn’t be a very good person if I wasn’t honest with you about that.”

“You want me?”

“You’re a beautiful woman, Daisy. I’m trying my best not to fuck up here,” I implore.

“You don’t want to sleep with me?”

“If I lay beside you right now the last thing I’d want to do is sleep,” I say, itching to draw her into my arms, wanting nothing more than to bury myself inside her until we both forget what’s broken within us.

“What if I don’t want to sleep either?” she replies, locking her gaze with mine. “What if I want you to touch me?”

“I’m a walking red flag, Daisy,” I say. “Right now I’m everything you don’t need.”

“At this point, I’m not sure that I care,” she says, stepping towards me as I take a step back.

“And that’s exactly why this is a bad idea.”

“Dalton, don’t get a conscience now. I’m basically giving myself to you,” she says, her voice cracking with emotion. “That’s what you want isn’t it, to fuck?”

“Yes…” I admit wincing. “Damn it, no!”

“What is it? Yes or no?”

“No, I don’t… We’re not fucking, Daisy. Not like this. I’m many things, but I am not a man who will abuse the situation. You’re vulnerable right now, and if we fuck then I know you’ll regret it in the morning. You don’t want this. You don’t want to have sex with me, you’ve made that perfectly clear already.”

“But what if I tell you that I do want this? What if I tell you that I’m aching to be touched, to find release? What if I tell you that I want you to take the pain away? What then?”

“Jesus, Daisy, you’re making this impossible.”

“This is what you want, isn’t it? You need relief, and I need to forget. You’ve used women before, so use me now. You know you want to. If it makes you feel any better, I’d be using you too.”

“No,” I shake my head adamantly. “That doesn’t make me feel any better. Not by a long shot.”

“I’m not asking you to love me, Dalton. We’re two consenting adults. You fuck women all the time,” she says in frustration.

“Not anymore. Not like this. No,” I repeat, more firmly this time. Her expression falls and guilt climbs up my chest. “Staying here tonight would be a mistake, you know that deep down.”

She stares at me for a long time, then eventually her shoulders drop and she heaves out a sigh. “Maybe you’re right. Forget I said anything.”

I fucking hate the way she seems to curl in on herself, how in my attempt to protect her, I’ve only appeared to make her feel worse. Part of me, the selfish part, is more than willing to do what she asks, to fuck her so that we both get respite from our demons. Yet, I know that’s just a temporary fix, and despite how hard my damn cock is, how the air between us is swollen with desire, I refuse to take advantage.

“I was thinking of going to the track tomorrow. Would you like to join me?” I offer. It’s my way of trying to fix things, to offer friendship.

“You want me to come to the track?”

“Yes. If you want to, that is.”

“Sure, why not?” she agrees softly.

“Okay, then,” I reply, reaching for the handle of the door, needing to get the fuck out of her room before I change my damn mind. “Goodnight, Daisy.”

“Goodnight, Dalton.”

I gently shut the door behind me, wishing I could be the person she needs, hating that I’ve left her alone and vulnerable. So, instead of heading towards my own bedroom, I rest my back against the wall, and slide down the wooden panel until my arse hits the floor. If I can’t give her the physical comfort she needs, the least I can do is offer her my support from a distance even if she’s unaware of it.

“What the fuck now?” I whisper to myself as I sit in the hallway, listening to the muffled sounds of Daisy moving around in her room.

Closing my eyes, I try to make sense of the conflicting emotions within me, and fail miserably. Ultimately all I know is that I have to prioritise her well-being above all else. Despite the strange ache in my chest, and the gnawing tug of desire that refuses to dissipate, I make a silent promise to myself to be there for Daisy, no matter what.